---

Go on misuse me and abuse me
I'll come out stronger in the end

---

SLANDER!

The headline screamed at Lily from every direction. Reporters yelled questions or abuse at her, photographers eagerly clicked their cameras in her face, the flash blinding her. It had been a week since Andrew's retaliation article had been published and still she found herself the victim of paparazzi. Some full of sympathy for her, some obviously paid by Minister Bagnold to hurl threats at her and harass her to the point of tears, while others were simple out for their pound of flesh regardless of how intrusive they were.

Sirius and Remus suddenly appeared beside her and began to help the startled redhead through the sea of onlookers.

"Already moved on from Potter then Lily?" screeched a large obnoxious man, Sirius threw a punch his way, missed his face but succeeded in smashing his camera into five small pieces.

"Sirius! Side along apparation, now!"

Lily crumpled to the floor, dry sobs racking her petite form, her hands shook and her heart wrenched. It was too much, all too much. She'd only wanted a drink. . .only walked down to the shop near James' house. . . But someone had alerted the press and suddenly they were there. . .hounding her. . .screaming and cawing at her. . .she'd tried to apparate but lack of sleep and food and an abundance of fear seemed to have drained her powers.

Peter knelt beside the redhead his hand massaging her back gently, endeavouring to cease her hysterics, but Lily had slipped into blind panic again. According to James she awoke like this in the middle of the night.

"NO! I swear it's true!" she span ninety degrees so she was facing Peter, "Look. Look!" she ripped away her shirt to reveal to him bruises that were no longer there. "I promise you, I promise, I'm not lying. . .its not slander. . ."

Sirius and Remus started forward. "Please! You believe me, yeah? . . .Where's James! He'll tell you . . .He will. He'll tell you." finally the tears came, the draught of her hysteria had stopped and water now found itself seeped from her bloodshot, panicked, eyes and running down her ghostly pale cheeks. During the day Lily was generally fine, but at night . . .when the sunlight wasn't there to remind her she was free, she found herself caged in her old life once more. Trapped into her fears once more. And although Andrew was not there, his presence no longer beside her, he still shadowed her life.

Leading her into the bedroom, Sirius tucked her beneath the sheet while Remus tipped a little Dreamless Sleep Potion into her mouth. Within minutes the red haired woman was asleep. The two men shared a significant look. They hated seeing their Lily in such tatters, of course it was never going to be easy for her to recover, but no one had any idea it would be this hard. Apparently now she was out of the nightmare it haunted her all the more.

Peter entered the room with a warm, damp, cloth and wiped Lily's face gently with it, taking away the streaky tear stains. She moaned a little and rolled over, but did not wake. James had gone to see his family lawyer, it in his mind to get Lily some defence, as that morning an Owl had appeared with a letter claiming Andrew Bagnold was taking Lily to court for slander she had, had published in the Daily Prophet. She was to be tried by the Wizengamot in two days.

0x-

Remus was in the kitchen, Sirius and Peter in the lounge and Lily in the bathroom when James arrived back from London. His cheeks pink from the wind and his eyes bright and glassy. The moment he entered his home he heard no buzz of conversation, the atmosphere was thick and sombre. The odd clanking of pans or knife on a chopping board drifted from the kitchen and he could hear the shower running accompanied by a low rumble of conversation the source of which turned out to be Sirius and Peter, talking in hushed tones about Lily.

They both silenced themselves when James walked into the room, he looked a them for a moment before joining them on the couch, "How has she been, today? I didn't want to leave her after that letter but. . .yeah. . .I needed to-"

"She, erm, well, she went out to get a drink from the shop. . .just some Pumpkin Juice or something. . .and well, someone tattled; the papers were round here quicker than you could say Quidditch. . ."

James could feel his fists curling and his lips pursing tighter as the two men retold the day's events, of how Lily had been too weak and afraid to perform magic, and of how she had gone into a panic attack. He was livid. So fucking angry. He hated that bastard. That total shitty excuse for a Wizard. Andrew Bagnold was a coward.

"I'll bloody kill 'im! I swear I will. . . Who does he think he is? How can he dare say it's slander? UGH! Honest --"

"James." a small voice interrupted his rant before he got into a fully flowing rant.

"Lily." he stood and briskly walked towards the redhead who was wearing a pair of his boxers and an old shirt that too was his, he'd never thought she looked more beautiful. So delicate, so broken, so in pain. He just wanted to protect her. Wrapping his arm her shoulders he directed her towards the dining room, Sirius and Peter followed, by the smell of things Lupin had finished cooking and was dishing up the meal.

Once all were seated and had eaten their fill, this consisting of the boys emptying their plates and Lily pushing about a few peas. Food didn't seem to have much place in her life at that moment, it tasted of ash and simple rested uncomfortably in her stomach. Although she was relieved to be free of Andrew, she still panicked about his attacks, and now the trial was approaching a trial she was sure to lose because Andrew had the support of his Father; the Minister for Magic. And yet, underlining all these feelings her heart was broken, it had been breaking for months, for she had loved that man at one point. She had been in love with him and trusted him implicitly. And even though all he did had hurt her, had stunted her, had inflicted pain emotionally and physically; she felt her heart splinter when she had finally left him.

Or perhaps it had broken once she realised no matter how may apologizes he uttered and how many times he told her it was her fault she was hit, all of it was false, and it was only now she was able to nurse to back together. After all, she could not have shown him he had imposed so many wounds to her, his sadistic streak would have revealed in it with a merciless bliss. So now she mourned for the loss of someone she had loved, as well as the many gaping lesions he had left in his wake.

"Lil, Mason - the lawyer - says, seeing as we healed most of the damage, Andrew'll probably have to take Veritaserum and answer questions in front of the Wizengamot, otherwise it's just him against you and that's not enough evidence for them to come up with a verdict, to be honest."

Lily nodded, not really digesting much of the information. "Will I have to give evidence in front of them about. . .what he did to me?"

"Yes." His tone was firm, "I'm not going to lie to you, Lils, it will be difficult and it will be a hard battle but remember, Dumbledore has just been made Head of the Wizengamot. That man will not just buckle under pressure because his Father is the Minister."

Lily nodded. Tears not quite fully formed in her eyes threatening to fall, but being held in by her lashes, it seemed. Like a dam stemming the flow.

0x-

It was three hours before the trial and Lily was already dressed and ready. A dark purple robe, not too fitted, not too loose. Her hair tied back slackly allowing a few crimson tendrils to lap at her cheeks. Her lips were painted a vibrant red and her eyes were outlined in a thin wisp of brown. She smelt of new fabric and make up, of cocoanut shampoo and mint toothpaste. Lily was sitting in James' back garden or his porch steps. Staring out at the newly risen sun. The morning smelt fresh and untouched. Birds tweeted incessantly, the vague sounds of Hogsmeade Workers beginning their day of hard graft drifted across to Lily's ears, the various noises of houses waking up and coming alive once more.

So many people were getting ready for the day ahead of them; no apprehension, no fear, no panic. Nothing potentially life destroying in their foreseeable future. Lily sighed and held her head in her hands. Why had she ever left James? That had been the largest mistake she had ever made. . .at the time she hadn't thought It through. She had been young - and although it was only a year or so ago, Lily had aged so very much - and naïve. Thought that she wanted to explore different partners, when in her heart, she knew, she had been in the process of falling so deeply in love with him.

If, if, all of this finished and Lily came out of it victorious, she wondered if James would want her; after she had been used, now she was jaded. Would he really accept her? Could he love her? . . .she didn't envy the man who had the job of trying to love her after this escapade. But James Potter, she was sure, could handle it impeccably. As though he heard her very thoughts said Potter came padding out behind her and sat beside the broken looking redhead. She hadn't even noticed but a few silent, sorrowful tears, had leaked from the corners of her emerald eyes. He lifted his calloused, Quidditch Player's hand to her cheeks and wiped them with as much tenderness as he could. Merlin, he adored her.

"Keep your powder dry, Lily." he smiled softly and entwined his hand with hers.

"I'm afraid, James."

"Don't be." he lifted her chin so that the watering green gaze held his hazel stare, "There's no need to be afraid anymore, Lil; I'm here."

0x-

The room was tall and intimidating, she thanked Merlin they had not decided to use the Old Court Rooms, with the chained chairs, that would possibly have been far too much. She was seated next to a portly man who looked good natured but she had been assured by James the man was a demon in the courtroom and would defend her to his last breath - hence the reason he was one of the Potter's most respected friends and employees. James, Sirius and Remus, along with Hestia Jones, her black hair in tight ringlets and hers eyes looking large and determined. Behind them sat Kingsley Shacklebolt and Peter Pettigrew.

On the other side of the room sat Andrew with his father and their lawyer, a tall, incredibly thin man, with a wiry grey moustache, he looked fierce and ruthless, his dark blue eyes cold as steel. Andrew's Mum was seated behind them looking withdrawn, she was a very slender woman and had the remnants of good looks, spoilt by grief over the years.

"The Wizengamot in in session. Case 4491. Lillian Evans and Andrew Bagnold -"

Lily shuddered, she never wanted to hear her names and his put together again. The rest of Dumbledore's words appeared a blur.

"Now, Mr Bagnold, are you stating that all Miss Evans said, and had printed in that interview, was false?"

"Yes, Sir." he replied politely, his face looking the picture of innocence, looking like the man Lily had fallen in love with all those months ago. But it was lies. All lies!

"I never hit her, Sir, as for rape?" he laughed, "Lillian liked intimacy between us to be rough; she was a right little tease and just loved it when I tied her down and --"

James had leapt up, and Dumbledore let out a rumbling tone, "Enough, Master Bagnold, and be seated James."

Lily could feel angry tears in her eyes, how dare he make a joke of it! How dare he? The bastard. That had been one of the most traumatic events to ever have occurred in her life, terrors, memoirs of it, plagued her in sleep and in the day if her mind was not kept busy, and there he was laughing, as if she had asked for it. Breathing harshly Lily turned her face away.

"As we have no clad iron evidence from either party, I'm afraid that Mr Bagnold you shall take Veritaserum to prove your story."

Andrew's lawyer stood, "Why, Dumbledore, should my client be the one to have to take the potion?"

"Because, Weevil, he is the one pressing the charges."

"Well, my client refuses, he doesn't believe it fair that he should have to take such a thing to prove his story, plus he knows many matters of the country, due to his Father's position, both feel it unwise for him to be put in a position where he could reveal confidential secrets of the Wizarding government."

"Oh, so the government admits it's crooked and has things to hide, does it?" uttered Remus, who had been against the Ministry and their unfair views on Werewolves since he'd known their policies.

The Wizengamot discussed briefly amongst themselves. "Very well. Miss Evans, do you consent to the undertaking of Veritaserum?"

Lily's eyes darted about the room anxiously. She wanted to prove Andrew wrong, wanted to see him shamed, but the thought of reliving it all. . .in the utmost detail. Then what if they asked her if she'd loved him? That was true. . .and what if they asked if she'd felt any pleasure with Andrew's ministrations. . .not that she could have called it pleasure as such, but she had almost had a orgasm while his tongues was. . .was. . .there. But it had disgusted her. . .it had inflicted shame and agony and embarrassment.

She felt weak for allowing to continue for so long; felt helpless . . Would they laugh at her behind their hands? Call her Slut and Tease as Andrew had done? After all they weren't married but they had shared a bed - done nothing more than sleeping, mind you, until that night - and she'd lived in his house. . .

She felt James hand on her shoulder. "Lily," she felt his breath on her neck as he whispered to her, "I'm here." She smiled weakly, a few stray runs of tears on her cheeks, running onto her lips and she could taste the salt, a bitter, harsh reality. I'm not afraid.

"Yes, Sir, I give my consent." Dumbledore smiled warmly at his ex-pupil. Poor Lily, she had always been such a clever, vivacious witch. . .she had not deserved this, not at all.

"We shall reconvene in fifteen minutes."

The Wizengamot began to disperse and Lily felt James stand behind her, shake Mr Weevil's hand, then take hers in his. "Come on, Lily." he ushered her out of the courtroom, Andrew in front of them, talking with his Father, both looking worried.

Once they were outside in the hallway James led her away from the gaggle of people. They both stood leaning against the wall. Neither having very much to say; neither needing to have very much to say. They both knew that what was about to happen and both knew this would save Lily's reputation and put Andrew away for, hopefully, an awfully long time.

Speak of the devil, and it appears, Andrew stood in front of the pair, his Father a few steps behind him, both surveying the two teens, indifferently. Though the sparkle of angst in their eyes betrayed an cool exterior they were attempting to project to the outside world.

"Lillian -- Lily, can I speak to you? Privately?"

"No." came the clipped response. "You may not speak to me, particularly not on my own." she refused to meet his eyes. She could not. . .all that flashed into her mind was the memory of him forcing her eyelids open and coercing her into looking into his eyes as he climaxed inside of her.

"Lillian." his voice had deepened, it was tainted with a gravely edge, as though someone had tried to cut card with blunt scissors. "I understand you were upset after our. . .break up, but, believe me -" he reached his hand out to touch her cheek, she shied away but he pushed further, his digits made contact with her soft, pale, flesh. He rubbed her skin a little harder than necessary with his thumb, "- we love each other Lily, don't do this. . . Don't air all our problems. . .in there. I've changed, I swear to Godric, I have. I, I was. . .stupid to have done what I did to you" the words sound alien and unbelievable spilling from his lips. " I just love you so much. . .I had wanted to show you for so long how much you meant to me. . .and you - you just kept resisting."

Lily grimaced at the words, her eyes swarming, for what felt the thousandth time, in tears, "In a way it's, well, it's a compliment, Lillian, you invoke such passion in me. . ."

Lily pushed his hand away and brusquely wiped the sorrowful water in her eyes. A small woman amplified her voice to tell all the members of the case to rejoin in the Court Room. Lily pushed past Andrew, James right behind her.

Andrew, however blocked her in the doorway, one of his arms in front of her chest, his hand clinging to the opposite door frame, blockading the entrance to the court room, James' face contorted in anger, "Oi you, bast--"

Andrew glared at him, "Language, Potter."

"Lillian," he pleaded, "don't do this. Have you no respect for our privacy. . .for me? Where has your respect for me gone?"

Anger surged through the redhead's veins, a passionate violence she didn't know she still possessed, she raised her knee swiftly and felt it make hard contact with Minister's Son's groin. He gasped and moved his hand from the door frame. Lily took a step through and turned to face him, " I never had respect for you, Andrew, I had fear and black eyes."

She strode through the hall and took the seat she had occupied fifteen minutes earlier, everyone in the room wearing masks of shock, or, in Andrew and his Father's case, a deep contempt.

"Dumbledore!" screeched the Minister for Magic, "Did you see that blatant attack on my son?"

Dumbledore smiled pleasantly down at the Minister, "Oh, I'm sorry, but the Wizengamot and I were suddenly captivated by these greying roof tiles - we saw nothing." The many Witches and Wizards around him swallowed their stunned expressions and nodded, making murmurs of agreement. "Now, Miss Evans, do stand up and take that, particularly comfy looking chintz, chair in the centre of the room, and we can administer you some Veritaserum."

Lily stood shakily. Her beautiful face looking determined and strong as she sat herself in the ruby red chair. A blonde woman with a small, upturned, nose poured a few drops in the redheads mouth.

"Testing," her voice echoed around the room, "What is your full name?"

"Lillian Marie Evans." replied the teen in a monotonous voice.

"What is your Home Address?"

"98, Periwinkle Close, Hogsmeade."

Andrew nearly choked; Potter's House. James, however, smirked in satisfaction.

"How many times has Andrew Bagnold hurt you physically?"

"I've lost count." came the reply, Lily's eyes looked large and sad, as though she didn't want to reveal this to the world but had no choice.

"More than. . .twenty times?"

"Yes."

"Why did you remain with him?"

"I had no where else to go, no one to turn to; my self-esteem was low, rock bottom, he told me I was ugly and worthless. That I was stupid and unable to cope without him."

0x-

The entire questioning Andrew had been sweating, becoming so anxious, his guilty hands ringing themselves up, his nails cutting half moons into his palms, his face looked angry and determined. How he loathed the bitch. How fucking dare she? The ungrateful little twat. She would be a better Witch because of him. Stupid Mudblood - she should never have got involved with him if she expected to be able to act like a little harlot. He taught her values. Like his Father had taught him. Had taught his Mother another woman who would have been a whore if not for the guidance of a man. And this was how Lily felt it right to repay him?

0x-

"The Wizengamot find Lillian Evans. . .Not Guilty, on the charges of Slander made by Andrew Bagnold."

Lily's side for the room cheered.

"The Wizengamot is sentencing Andrew Bagnold to fifteen years in Azkaban, for Abuse, Rape and Threatening Behaviour towards Lillian Evans." Dumbledore rapped his hammer against the wood, "He can appeal to his case in six months."

Lily felt elated. She had won. She beat him.

0x-

That evening, after a large meal, and a good amount of The Three Broomsticks Butterbeer, Lily found herself feeling sleepy, her back aching slightly. She stood in the spare room and began to change. Her white knickers had been stained a dark crimson. And far from looking worried or upset the redhead began to cry tears of joy. She found her long legs buckling beneath her. Knelt on the floor she laughed quietly to herself, tears falling in happiness and relief.

Finally. Her period had arrived; another worry had been exorcised from her heart; she was not impregnated with that thing's child. She couldn't have handled carrying his baby, she couldn't have had a tie to him.

That night Lily slept fitfully. Today had been good. She wasn't deluded enough to believe that every night would be quite as peaceful or that She had gotten over her ordeal. But she was beginning the right road to recovery, with James by her side she was sure she would learn to be herself once more and love life again.

0x-

Author's Note: OMG. I'm so sorry guys.

I hadn't even realised it had been a year since my last update!

It didn't seem that long. What with crazy exams and stuff.

Gulistanlik told me. Erk.

But here we go.

The next chapter will be the last.

What did you think to this?

I got Lily to knee him in the balls, mainly cause that's how I imagine her to be before Andrew, not afraid to give a guy a good kick where it hurts and I wanted to show that she's starting to be who she really is again.

That and a lot of you request Lily show him what was coming to him!

The final chapter will have a lot more James/Lily interaction.

However remember this fic is Angst before it is Romance. : )

Oh and I wondered if any of you noticed I never really described Andrew.

Like ever, in this fan fiction.

That was because everyone has a demon in their life, like Andrew, or at least they have a picture in their mind about what someone like that looks like.

So, I'd love to know how most of you pictured him. -smile-

Please review.

And I will try mega hard to update ASAP.

Tasha x