Heero Yuy, L6, and the Second Suit Wars | ELLE


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PART ONE | Memoirs of a Former Life

1.9 The Old Friend


I spent several days regretting my decision to drive home that night. In the emotional upheaval of that moment it seemed the right thing to do, but after the fact, when he was on a shuttle to Mars and all I could think about was how close I was to having sex with him... Well, I've lived the life of a lonely man for a while. Turning down a willing participant seemed less than prudent in retrospect.

We sent a few emails back and forth while he was in space and he decided to come to Geneva the Saturday of his return so I could show him around my city. I spent some time trying to find a romantic restaurant and settled on an upscale fusion place on the top of the tallest building in Geneva after a unanimous recommendation from my team. That was an unfortunate incident, as I was overheard asking Jill privately for her advice, which garnered much ribbing and harassment every time I passed a co-worker on my wing. We're all techies and not exactly the most successful at interpersonal relationships so I knew their teasing was good-natured and that they were genuinely excited for me, but I still felt an awkward sense of embarrassed pride at the attention.

The teasing culminated that Friday, though, and I locked myself in my office to avoid it. Not so much because it bothered me, but because my excitement would've been too obvious even to my generally clueless colleagues and I was afraid of saying something incriminating.

So when my office door opened I answered it with a glare and a scowl, only to see a secretary and a young Chinese man with a visitor's badge on. My expression quickly changed to surprise as the woman hastily explained he was Chang Wufei from Preventer HQ and was there to ask me some questions.

As most people did, I knew a little about the covert agency charged with keeping tabs on all suspicious activity since the war. But I felt this was more than likely a personal call as Duo not only mentioned that we had worked for Preventer at one time, but I recognized this man as being part of "the gang" in Duo's picture that Heero had left for me in the lock box.

"Jack Kaufmann," Chang Wufei greeted shortly once the secretary was gone. "Or should I say, Heero Yuy?"

I stiffened as if it were an accusation. "Jack," I stated, letting him know in that one word how I felt about his question.

"I had to see if it was really you." He glanced furtively around the room and then tapped his watch. "Can you leave early? I'd like to go somewhere more... comfortable to talk about some personal matters."

I knew he was calling into question the privacy of my office and for a brief moment I hoped that he was going to be a missing link to my past, someone who could be forthright without damaging our relationship the way inquiries made of Duo would or threatening me the way Mister Winner had. So without any further prompting I agreed and shut down my computer, locking my office on the way out.

"Heading out early, eh? Have fun on your date tonight!" Yun teased me in a singsong voice as we passed in the hall and I shot him an evil look. Chang just lifted a questioning eyebrow at me and said nothing.

Without any discussion I led him a few blocks away from the typical Nexxus haunts and into a café I'd never visited. He seemed to approve and ordered us coffees, insisting he pay. We sat down across from each other and he studied me intently with those hard black eyes but I felt no discomfort from the scrutiny.

"Did Duo tell you about me?" I asked at last, once I felt he was satisfied I was who I appeared to be. That question seemed to make him nervous, though, and he glanced down briefly at his coffee.

"Not exactly," he admitted. "He told me he met someone and I didn't think twice about it. Maxwell's personal affairs are not as much my business as he seems to think. It was Winner who made me suspicious." I had grimaced against my will at the name and of course he noticed it. "Did Winner contact you?"

I felt uncomfortable divulging the threats but I also didn't feel I could lie to this man who likely knew me better than I knew myself and so I settled on a short affirmative.

"I take it he wasn't as pleased to see you as Maxwell had been?"

"You could say that," I agreed, sipping my drink.

"Maxwell is much too forgiving of your transgressions," he conceded a bit bitterly. "But Winner... I suppose you're the only one who really knows the source of his anger."

"Do I?" I asked, likely sounding as confused as I felt. Chang gave me a curious look.

"Don't you? You and he were very close before your disappearance. I thought that he was the source of all Maxwell's jealousy," the other man admitted, seeming surprised that he was wrong.

Damn the things I didn't know! The way Winner had treated me... it seemed impossible to believe that we were ever very close. And Duo never mentioned anything regarding my relationship with the multi-billionaire, so I had nothing to go on.

"I don't know anything," I finally offered honestly, hoping I would get more information with honesty than a charade. "I have no memory of my life as Heero Yuy."

I will say to his credit, Chang didn't seem the type of man who was easily flustered. But that sentence made him stop cold and his eyebrows rose significantly until his eyes narrowed on me suspiciously.

"What do you mean, no memory?"

I sighed and shifted. "I mean the only true memories I have are of the past three years. Everything prior to that has been falsified. For all intents and purposes, I am only Jack Kaufmann. I never was Heero Yuy."

He considered that for a moment and I expected him to ask me to elaborate. Instead, he surprised me. "So you don't know where Barton is, either?"

My brows furrowed, not recognizing the name. "Barton...?"

Chang clicked his tongue and shook his head slightly in disappointment. "He disappeared shortly after you did, stating irreconcilable differences between himself and Winner. I always wondered if he went after you. I didn't know Barton well, but I always felt he seemed angry with Winner over your disappearance. I'm typically not one to pry into other people's personal lives, but after three and a half years my curiosity has naturally peaked."

"Unfortunately, I'm afraid you know more than me," I said with some resignation to the fact that Chang might not be able to illuminate much more of my situation than Duo could. The only person who really seemed to have a clue was Mister Winner and I obviously couldn't ask him without unknown retribution.

"I counted you as a rare personal friend," he admitted quietly. "When you left, it was not only a blow to Preventer, it was a blow to me."

I didn't know how to respond to what I assumed was an extraordinary admission on his part and I found myself staring down at my cup uncomfortably. I wasn't his friend. I was only Jack.

"And Maxwell was devastated," he continued and I caught the hint of warning in his voice, vaguely hoping I wouldn't end up with the same dressing down I'd gotten from Winner. But then I remembered something Duo had said weeks ago.

"How did he quit?" I asked carefully, suspecting the story wasn't pleasant. Chang seemed hesitant to relay it and I continued, "He said you would give me the details sometime."

"Well, Maxwell is prone to theatrics..." A small smile teased his face as he remembered the incident. "I can only laugh about it now after so many years have passed," he cautioned me with a threatening look that I assumed was theatrical itself as the smile replaced it quickly. "After a particularly difficult assignment in which he took two bullets to the shoulder he levied a very public and very scathing character assassination of his new partner in the cafeteria. He went on to state that Preventer was a completely useless organization without you, called into question Commander Une's sanity, flipped over seven tables and destroyed several chairs, maimed four security guards that had come to escort him from the premises – all with a seriously wounded shoulder – and then broke down into tears. At this point no one except my wife was brave enough to face him and she managed to get him back to her apartment where she spent the next 48 hours with him on suicide watch. To say he quit is... generous. He was fired."

I felt shell-shocked. Regardless of whether Heero did the right thing by leaving, it seemed cruel to put a man you loved through that kind of pain.

"I told you," Chang said, not unkindly, "he was devastated."

And then, at that confession, I realized I wanted to see him.

No. I needed to see him.

I needed to wrap him up in my arms and hold him, kiss him, let him know I'd never leave him. Heero had left me here because he couldn't bare the thought of Duo being alone any more. I knew this for a fact because I couldn't bare the thought of Duo being alone any more. The idea made my heart feel as though it were physically breaking.

"Are you okay?" Chang asked me and I suppose my inner pain had leaked out through my face. "I didn't mean to upset you, I just thought you more than anyone would know how many times he'd been left by those he loved."

"I should know," I spat angrily, though I wasn't angry with him as much as I was myself. I existed for Duo and I had been selfishly focused on myself this whole time.

He gave me a moment to gather my thoughts and I pushed my feelings off my face. When I looked back up at him he had an open expression.

"I don't know what's going on in your life and I'm not sure how you'd feel about it, but Preventer HQ is just over the border in France and we live only an hour and a half away in Lyon. I'm sure I can speak for Sally when I say we would very much enjoy meeting you for dinner one weekend." I thought for a moment he seemed nervous as he twisted his coffee in his hand. "Though I understand if you would rather not reprise our former relationship..."

I couldn't help but give him a tentative smile. "I'm not sure what kind of friendship I could offer you in my current state, but I would like that very much."

He returned my smile. "I'm glad I came then."

"Me too," I replied truthfully. He must've felt my tension and my need to get out of there because he stood then and he reached out his hand, which I accepted and shook gratefully.

We walked back to Nexxus HQ with promises to keep in touch and once I slipped into the driver's seat I started the long haul to Sanc.