Chapter 9: Nighttime in Tortuga; Ragetti Spaghetti is on the Menu; Towel Bearer; The Benefits of Personal Hygiene; Parrots are of No Help Whatsoever; Skinny Dipping Voodoo; Time to Panic.

Countless drunken sailors careened along the boardwalks of Tortuga, laughing boisterously, arguing loudly and singing off key. Ladies of the evening cruised among them like heavily perfumed sharks. Knots of citizens collected to watch fistfights, knife fights and cockfights (no, the uh kind with chickens). Pistol shots went off at irregular intervals. A very ugly girl danced for doubloons. Street urchins begged. Pickpockets picked pockets. Cutpurses cut purses. A stray dog fled yelping down the street. Cotton's parrot sat on the high ledge of a seedy brothel which overlooked this human maelstrom. "Shiver me timbers."

Ragetti ran out of the Devil's Playground and into the middle of this chaos. He looked this way and that, trying to figure out where he could find the twice-cursed monkey which had stolen his eyeball.

In the distance, he heard the sing-song call of a female voice, "Ragetti Spaghetti? Where are you? Where are you, my handsome love muffin?"

Wherever the monkey was, he had to be in the opposite direction from wherever that dread voice was coming from. So away Ragetti ran.

Next morning, Tia Dalma led Anamaria and Jack up a jungle path, through trees still dripping with the previous night's rain, to an enchanting sparkling pool fed by a cascading waterfall. Jack had been assigned the job of towel bearer.

"I'm sorry to be the one to have to tell you this, sister," said Tia Dalma, "but you stink. Time for a bath."

"You stink too," retorted Anamaria.

"Aye, so I too shall bathe."

Jack interjected, "And I reek to High Heaven! So I -"

"You shall do no such thing!" snapped Tia Dalma. "You are mine now, and so you must do as I say!"

"Do I?"

"Oh yes. Turn around, hold the towels and be still."

Jack turned his back on the two women. He didn't want to, but he did. He tried turning back, but it was as if he were being held by a giant, invisible hand. He fought against it, but the giant, invisible hand wouldn't budge.

A few moments later, there was a whoop and a splash. Then a second whoop and a second splash.

This was too much for Jack. He spun around - okay, he didn't spin around. Left-left-left-turn-left, right-right-right-turn-right, left-right-left-right-right-right-left-right. He stayed stuck where he was. Then he realized that he didn't need to turn his whole body, just his head. He tried to turn his head. But failed. Head-left-head-left-left-left. Head-right-right. Jack felt as if he were an ant trapped in amber . . . an ant facing the wrong way.

Behind him, the two women laughed and splashed, two (he reminded himself) very naked women.

He shifted the towels until they were balanced on one arm, and then he checked the fingernail on that hand. They were filthy. So he pulled out his dagger and began to clean them. His very shiny and very reflective dagger. If he held it just right . . . Oh yesss!

Ragetti stumbled through the empty streets of Tortuga. Now that the sun was up, folks had gone home to catch a few hours of desperately needed sleep before yet another night of drunken debauchery. In Ragetti's left hand was a half-drunk bottle of rum. In his right was what hopefully-soon would be a monkey-bashing club.

Cotton's parrot fluttered down and landed on his shoulder. "Awk."

Ragetti suddenly brightened. "Hey! You could fly around and spot that monkey for me, couldn't you?"

The parrot put his head under his wing and went to sleep.

"Wake up!" He prodded the parrot.

"Awk! Stand by to repel boarders!" screeched the parrot, and then he took wing. "Mutiny! Mutiny!"

"So sister, why do you come here?"

Anamaria answered, "Jack has a problem."

Tia Dalma chuckled, "Jack Sparrow always has a problem."

"People are trying to kill me!" Jack interjected.

"What people?"

"I don't know what people! I didn't ask for names! There're just a lot of them, that's all. Ambushes, assassins, wanted dead-or-alive posters. They're everywhere!"

"And what do you want me to do about it?"

"Tell me who they are. Stop the attacks!"

"Stop the attacks?"

"Yes! Yes, that would do nicely. Stop the attacks. Stop the attacks, and we can all go on our merry ways."

"That will not be free, Captain Jack Sparrow," crooned Tia Dalma. "You must pay a price."

"I've already given you me. What more can I give you."

She laughed. "Oh, that was just a little joke. I don't want to own peoples' bodies. At least, not while they're still alive. Sister, bring me one of the beads from his beard."

"A bead from my beard?"

There was a swirl of water behind him, and then the soft pad of wet feet. Anamaria's hands came around him and started undoing the tangle weave of beard strand that held various beads.

Automatically, Jack's hand slipped around and found a delicious slab of firm back, wet as a frog, slippery as a fish. He slid his hand lower.

"Got it!" cried Anamaria and she dove back into the pool before Jack could reach pay dirt.

"Ah yes, that is fine," murmured Tia Dalma. Now there, over among my clothes, you will find my bag of chicken bones. Bring them to me, please."

The water swirled again.

Jack asked, "What are you doing?" He got no answer.

"Here's the bag of chicken bones."

"Thank you, child. Now, come watch this." More water sloshed.

Jack again demanded to know, "What's going on?"
There came a rattle-rattle-rattle and then the pitter-patter of chicken bones and a bead rolling across stone.

"Ah, there," sighed Tia Dalma. "Look at the pattern of those bones and particularly the bead that lies within them. Tell me what you see."

"Well, people are definitely trying to kill Jack. Of that there is no doubt."

Jack snapped, "I could have told you that."

"Particularly this man."

Jack perked up. "What man?"

"A high-ranking military officer."

The pirate made a face. "Norrington?"

"Of course, Commodore Norrington," sneered Anamaria. "Who do you think I fought this morning?"

"Wait a minute! You fought Norrington this morning?"

"That's why I borrowed the Pearl. If you'd have taken her out, you'd have been slaughtered. She needed to be commanded by the best sea captain in the Caribbean."

"Wait another minute! I am the best sea captain in the Caribbean."

"No Jack," retorted Anamaria. "I am."

Tia Dalma asked, "Any why do you suppose this bone is lying lie that?"

Anamaria gasped. "Commodore Norrington is bringing his squadron here!"

"No time to waste, sister. We must run!"

"Here!" Jack gasped. He threw the towels up into the air and raced back down the jungle trail to save his ship.