It's been a little while, huh? Well, thanks for understanding that things have been unbelievably busy around our apartment! But everyone is healthy and doing great, so thanks again for the kind words. And a shout out to Keely to typing chapters up for me when I couldn't.

Over the past week I posted two chapters of a story called 'Toujours'. It was originally only supposed to be two chapters, but now it's going to be three chapters. If you have the time, please go and take a look and read the story. It's pretty sad, but I really enjoyed writing it.

"Most certainly I tell you, all sins of the descendants of man will be forgiven, including their blasphemies with which they may blaspheme; 29 but whoever may blaspheme against the Holy Spirit never has forgiveness, but is guilty of an eternal sin" –Mark 3:28-29

Bella Cullen

"Heart rate it steady…transfusion…" I tried to blink as the voice returned, but I couldn't force my eyes to move. My entire body was burning, making me feel like I was literally on fire. My chest was tight and heavy and each breath I took was painful and the breathing did not come easily. So I tried to make myself relax, and I continued to listen to the voices around me, wishing I could say something back to them. "Stable…trauma…pregnant…"

Pregnant.

My mind started racing at that moment, wondering what they were talking about. I couldn't be pregnant…I couldn't be. Edward and I, we hadn't-. And then I knew that the wrong I had committed was still going on. Jacob had gotten me pregnant and the hell I had put myself through still wasn't done. My chest suddenly started to tighten up even more, and I started struggling for breath, becoming frantic. There was more motion all around me, a flurry of words and movement that I couldn't even begin to process.

I fought for every breath, I heard my heart pounding in my ears, and then I slowly felt myself slip away.

Someone was holding my hand. I felt the warm, comfortable pressure and with it I felt an instant sense of relief. I wasn't dead, not yet. "Looks like she'll be waking up soon, Dr. Cullen. Be easy on her when she does- she's under a lot of stress as it is." The unfamiliar voice drifted through my ears, and I tensed up slightly. Of course Edward would be angry with me. He was a doctor- he knew how to read my charts. And he was also my husband, so the doctor attending me would have every right to tell him that I am pregnant. In that moment, I didn't want to open my eyes, I didn't want to wake up.

"I know you're awake, Bella." Edward's silken voice cut through the air like a knife, sharp and dangerous.

Reluctantly, I managed to peek my eyes open, wincing immediately because of the bright light of the room. Blinking several times, I opened my eyes fully and came face to face with Edward, who was holding my hand in his and watching me intently. His face was covered in stubble and his eyes were red and completely bloodshot. Not knowing what I could even say to him, I licked my chapped lips and said the first thing that came to mind. "I'm pregnant."

Edward's face contorted slightly with some emotion that I couldn't quite place, and his grip on my hand tightened. "No, you're not." He said, and my eyes welled up with tears. He didn't know.

"Yes, I am." I said, tears overflowing and spilling down my face. "I heard them talking and-"

"Shh." Edward interrupted me, pressing his index finger against my lips. "Please, just listen to me." He said, his voice grave and heavy. I nodded, and Edward quickly wiped my tears away with his thumb before continuing. "Honey, are you sore?" He asked, and only then did I realize that I really was. My chest was unbearably tight, but there was also an intense pain radiating through my lower abdomen and between my legs. I nodded, afraid of what had happened to cause that pain. Edward wordlessly reached over and picked up a small button that was lying next to me on the bed. "This is your morphine. You can have a dose every twenty minutes, if you need it." He explained, and then hit the button before setting it back down.

I nodded again, biting my lip. "Edward, what's going on?" I asked desperately.

Edward rubbed his forehead, looking at me hesitantly. "You were pregnant. But…Bella, you're not anymore. The trauma of the car crash you were in- do you remember the car crash?" He questioned, and I nodded quickly. "Right." Edward murmured, looking down at the floor. "Like I said, the trauma…your body couldn't handle it. Your femoral artery ripped and then you started bleeding out. Bella, they had to perform a hysterectomy. You can't have children anymore, and you lost the baby."

His words, although they were spoken kindly, hit me like a ton of bricks. I could no longer have children. Although I hadn't necessarily wanted anymore children…having babies was all up to God. And now, I could no longer do that. Tears started spilling down my face again, and painful sobs racked through my entire body. Edward spoke gentle, soothing words and rubbed my arm, but that didn't change anything at all. "I'm being punished, aren't I?" I asked hysterically, staring up at the ceiling. "This is because of what I did!"

After a long moment of nearly unbearable silence, Edward suddenly reached over and grabbed my chin tightly, forcing me to look him in the eye as I continued to cry. "You are not being punished." He said firmly, not releasing his hold on me. "I know I was hard on you before about…what you did, but do not think that for one second God would do this to you. It was a car crash that did it, Bella. Nothing more. I should have forgiven you sooner, I know that. And I do. I've held this grudge for too long when I really do forgive you. Because I love you, Bella. I don't understand why you had to…have an affair, and it makes me angry just to think about it, but I can forgive you because I love you so much and I know how sorry you are."

"Thank you." I choked out. His forgiveness made things seem a little better, although the emotional pain welling up inside of me was still overwhelming as well as the physical pain still taking place in my body. "I really am sorry, and I really do love you more than anything."

So…our favorite couple can at least be a little happier now, on some level. Please review, and don't hesitate to tell me what you think. I don't think this story has much left to it, but I guess there will be about five chapters left. We'll see how it all works out!

Xoxo- Melodyella aka Mellie