A/N I own no one but Seth at the moment. Morgan isn't in this chapter, and I have to say that this one is probably the saddest one I've written so far. I had to change her birthday for the benefit of the story. You will all understand (or so I hope) later on.
~Early September~
We were sitting out on the beach, and I could feel the heat on my legs, but I didn't dare put that sun tan lotion on, OH NO! I'd rather be the only girl on the beach that doesn't look like an over crispy piece of Kentucky Fried Chicken than have a "beautiful" tan. Lucky for Bex the tan is just natural, and trust me I can tan, but I have to work at it.
I plastered on sunscreen every hour and a half to make sure that I wasn't a lobster when we left. I flipped continuously so I was at least evenly burned. Zach and Grant were in the water surfing and then they'd occasionally wipe out. That, might I add, is pretty hilarious to watch. After about two hours of watching the repeating process of dog paddling, getting on the board, surfing a beautiful wave, wiping out, Bex decided to join up.
Simultaneously Zach jogged out of the water and handed the board over to Bex. She eagerly joined Grant in the water. He jumped right in and started to help her onto the board, and caught her when she fell off.
Macey had fallen asleep under the sun and I could see Seth trying to wake her up out of the corner of my eye. Zach came up beside me and picked me up in one swift motion. He was wet from surfing, and since I was basically hugged against him I was instantly coated in the salty water.
"Zach! Oh my gosh, why in the heck did you do that! Now I am wet." I said, and tried to shoot daggers to him through my eyes, but I couldn't help but laugh.
Then I remembered what today was and I had to keep my eyes closed to slow the traffic of tears that started to flow. Zach lowered me down, but didn't let me go, and I could only cry into his chest. "Cam, why don't we go back until dinner?" he said, and all I could do was shake my head, and in a minute we were back in the car headed back to the condo.
When we got "home", all I could do was cry. Zach was great through it all. He held me close, stroked my hair, whispering comforting words into my hair. After about thirty minutes I could control my ragged breathing much better and the tears were coming in smaller streams rather than raging rapids. Within a few minutes there wasn't any evidence of crying in the room.
"Shhh, it's okay Cam, it'll be okay." He moved his hands to my jaw and gave me a look so focused on me it made me whimper and I had to look away. Somehow he managed to delicately pull me back to his gaze. "Zach, he died today, how is it going to be okay?" my voice a hoarse whisper.
"You're here now, aren't you? That means you've gotten through it for six years, and I think you make it one more, don't you?" His voice soothing as he spoke and he tucked a strand of loose hair behind my ear.
"I guess, but why doesn't she care? She's always gone, leaving Morgan and I alone and I feel more like a mom than she acts! I'm always the one who cooks, cleans, helps out! Why can't she just care more?" my voice rose in anger. I couldn't believe I was telling him this, I never talk to people about my "mother".
I felt the pressure of angry (or so I thought) tears clouding over my eyes. I tried to suppress the heat on my face, and I tried to keep the dam closed this time. I wasn't going to put Zach through this. He deserves to have a fun vacation. Suddenly my rage turned to something else – pure sadness. I was sad how little my mom cared, how my dad left us, how I just couldn't get happy right now, and I hated that feeling. It's not a very good one, believe you me.
"I bet she, cares much more than you know, Cam." His voice low and I could feel the breath on my neck. "Zach, I'm sorry, you should be having fun on the beach, not watching me wallow."
Here come more tears, who knew you had this much in your body. His arms slipped around my waist as he pulled me closer – if that were possible – and I hid my head in his sweatshirt. I felt like Morgan for a moment, clutching his jacket, holding on as if he were my lifeline. Which right now, it felt like he was.
"It's okay Cammie, wallow all you want." His attempt to lighten the mood worked and I felt a small laugh escape my lips. I walked out of his embrace and sat on one of the beds, and cinched my knees up under my chin as my eyes started to hurt and my head was beginning to throb.
We once again sat next to each other, enjoying the presence of the other. I had a realization, I'm turning eighteen tomorrow! In just a few hours I would be a free woman, and little did I know that would be my biggest mistake. The thought about me being free, no string attached anymore. That was not one of the so-called truths that might set me free, that one just chained me down. Worse than I could ever imagine.
{I thought about stopping there…}
"What can I get to drink for you guys?" I heard a waitress's overly perky voice speak. There was a chorus of "Coke, please," from every living, breathing body that was sitting at that table but one, and her name just happened to be Cameron Ann Morgan.
"I'll have sweet tea please." I felt Zach grip my hand under the table, reassuring me that I wasn't alone this time. I knew I could be okay, you probably think I am overreacting, huh? Well, FYI that was my dad's favorite thing to drink on his birthday. Especially the way my mom made it – extra sweet. She came back with a tray full of drinks and a really big smile.
"Are you guys ready to order yet, or do ya need a few more minutes?" We all nodded in confirmation and started to rattle off our orders. When it came to me I ordered a bacon cheese burger and fries, another one of dad's favorites. She gave us all a slight shake of the head and waltzed off. There was some small talk, but I couldn't bring myself to move my lips. They felt numb as I sipped my overly sweetened tea.
As she brought us our food all the talking hushed, even Grant! This is a shocker because his favorite thing to do is talk with food in his mouth, a very boyish thing to do if you asked me. I could hear the low mumble of a slow romantic song in the background of the restaurant, and Bex was beside me humming the entire time. I bit into the last bite of my bacon burger, and I offered the last of my fries to Zach. It was a meager offering, but he took it nonetheless. Probably only to make sure I didn't get offended.
I still was bewildered that I had to endure this depression phase the day before my birthday. I knew that I had to put on a mask for my friends, and I somehow knew being here was supposed to be a sort of cheering up party. I made a pact to my inner self at that very moment, from now on I was going to be cheerful. I was going to be much more pleasant, I was turning eighteen for Pete's sake! I needed to remember this birthday forever, and I sure as heck didn't want to remember it this way. Sadness happened to become my best friend today, and I sure didn't want to keep that cycle going. I was going to dive straight back into my old happy self. The girl from Wednesday was hiding behind a curtain right now, waiting for her signal to come out. She wanted to be free and able to run around without being chained until tomorrow.
So, I pulled up a smile and decided to start a conversation. "So, eighteen, and on the road to freedom! That's me, Miss America, I can't wait to leave for college. Bex, you said that you were looking into Florida State University, didn't you?" I could see her give a slight wince at that fact, but at the moment it didn't matter. Everyone was in a melancholy mood and I figured it was all my fault. She nodded and proceeded with a few glances at Grant all the while. I saw him nudge her stomach to get her started, he loved hearing her talk about herself, it was very evident in his appearance at the moment.
"Well, I had sent in the application, and Grant decided to apply as well, but I am also looking into the University of North Carolina or even a community college in Virginia to get started. I need to get a basis in my studies before I go all out to a faraway college. I would like to go somewhere in the SEC, but if not I would love to go anywhere with a great athletics association. I believe that would be best for me and what I want to do." She explained, and I could see it bothered her to have the spotlight on her without having a fight to follow. She wasn't used to praise unless it was in her athleticism or her muscles. She often was neglected on the knowledge end of things, but Liz, Macey, and I always tried to highlight the untouched spot of life she had yet to share with the world.
Grant nudged her with his elbow and asked, "And what exactly are you planning on doing?" He gave her a reassuring glance and she bolted right into it.
"I would love to become a doctor. Or a neurosurgeon. If not, I want to be an athletic trainer or a nutritionist. As you all know I am very serious about my health." She said with a business like attitude. Of course someone had to make a snide remark, and that just happened to be the boy sitting next to me.
"As displayed on your well rounded plate you have there Baxter. I am sure that having an undercooked hamburger, over greased fries, and fatty bacon completes your food pyramid." Zach said, I am sure with a smirk plastered on his face. I heard the slap of skin on skin and an arm flew in front of me. Before I knew it Zach had a handprint on the side of his face. All any of us could do is laugh, except for Bex. She had a smugly satisfied look cemented on her features, completed by the whole one eyebrow act.
The friendly banter went on for a few more moments before a small southern voice spoke up. "I applied to Harvard a few months ago. I might go for a degree in Math and Statistics, or maybe in the studies of Science or something to that affect." Jonas slung his arm around her shoulders and whispered something in her ear. She just giggled and went on to say, "I got my acceptance letter Monday."
Grant gave her a hoop and a holler, and I was pretty sure I saw Jonas kiss her on the temple. She welcomed all the attention, even if she didn't exactly notice it. She kept a blush going for a full seven minutes before the attention died down. I knew she'd be bombarded by Bex later about how to keep her room tidy and all of her gifted clothing and accessories like little ducks in a row.
Macey was next. I hadn't heard any talk of college from her lately. Bex and Liz had mentioned applying, but no feedback from Mace about anything related to learning. "I have been offered to go and model for Teen Vogue." That simple statement didn't make much impact on the group, because we all knew it would happen sooner or later, the aftermath statement is what affected us all.
"They offered me enough that I can buy four houses, a car, and pay for a four year college degree." Her voice was timid, as if she wasn't too sure if she wanted to divulge too much to alter our opinions about her. "Wait! Macey, you can buy a car and four houses! Where are you going to build your estates? Where are you going to be modeling?" I fired my string of questions first hoping to at least get partial, if not cryptic, answers.
"Well, I wanted to be generous, so I decided to only build one house. I made sure to tell the magazine publishers all of you girls' names and I told them that each of you better get a stylist for each of your houses that I am paying in full for. I think that I am going to be modeling in Paris, Rome, California, and Scotland. Sadly though, I will be moving to Cali this summer. I will do a few shoots to start me off, and then a few shows and then the last few weeks I will actually be able to pose for the magazine. Then I will be at a college for a semester and during breaks and on the occasional weekend I will be up at the modeling agency trying to get other possible gigs besides Vogue. All of my next four years will be moving constantly so I won't be able to see any of you as much after this year."
We all gave her our congratulations and before we knew it the waitress was back asking any of us wanted desert. None of us were hungry, and decided on heading back for the hotel. Seth, Zach, Macey, and I all piled into a rental car with Jonas, Grant, Liz and Bex in the other.
I knew tonight was going to be the best ever, because 1st, it was the night before my birthday, and 2nd, we were pulling an all-nighter.
A/N that's it! No, not for the whole "book", but for this chapter! Love it, Hate it, Marry it, Bury it! Your choice. All I ask for is your reviews. I actually liked the end of this chapter, as I hope you did too. I loved talking about when Macey was giving them all houses, and insisted on interior decorators. tell me everything you can about my story, anything about improvements? Has anything been detrimental to this story, and how can I fix it? I also want to make a note about the "romance" between Zach and Cammie. I told you guys I was taking it slow as molasses. They haven't kissed seriously yet, and that is yet to come. P.S. That was my longest chapter in a while! Happy fanficitioning, Moe!
