A/N: Update time!

The shrill screech of the alarm made John's eyes snap open instantly and he blindly reached his arm over to shut it off. He blinked his eyes rapidly, trying to wake up despite the early morning start and how exhausted he still felt. A warmth and pressure on his chest drew his attention down and his eyes landed on Randy's head. The younger man still snored lightly from where he rested his head on John's chest. John slowly smiled and tried to shift his body without disturbing Randy. He managed to push his head onto a pillow without waking him up which didn't surprise John. Randy was known for being dead to the world when asleep and it seemed not much had changed since the last time they'd shared a bed.

John rested his head on the pillow besides Randy's and watched him breathe, his face so calm. It was a sight John had not seen in months and one he had missed desperately. He had spent countless hours watching Randy sleep during the course of their relationship, despite the younger man telling him how disturbing it was to him. It was amazing for him to study Randy's usually animated face and see the difference in it when he was so relaxed and at peace while he slept.

Randy stirred in his sleep as he felt the touch on his face. His eyes slowly opened and he was met with the sight of John beside him, staring at him. The older man's lips curved into a smile and he lowered his hand from Randy's face to his chest. "Hey,"

Randy slowly smiled. "How many times have I asked you to not stare at me when I'm sleeping?"

John shrugged. "You know I don't listen." His fingers moved of their own accord up and down Randy's chest.

Randy rolled his eyes but maintained the smile. His eyes soon drifted shut once more as John's touches on his body continued. He knew he should get up and stop the intimate moment, especially as he felt his lower regions start to react, but he just couldn't pull away. A sigh escaped his lips as John moved his hand down to his stomach, making soft circles on the firm muscle. "That feels good," he whispered.

John nodded, his lips brushing over Randy's head. "You feel good. I've missed touching you."

"I've missed it, too." Randy's eyes slowly opened, connecting with John's once more. "Your touch is the only one I've ever needed,"

John's eyes suddenly darkened and his hand stilled on Randy's stomach. "That's not exactly true."

Randy frowned, shocked by John's sudden mood change. He stared at John as he pulled away and sat up, standing from the bed. "What just happened?"

John shook his head and walked over to his dresser to pull out clean clothes and Randy could see the tension in his back and shoulders.

"My touch is the only one you've ever needed? I wish you would've remembered that a few months ago when you were in bed with Cody," muttered John, answering Randy's question.

Randy's eyes widened, all contentment gone from his body now. "Are you serious? You're actually gonna ruin one of the best mornings we've had in months over this?" He stood up off the bed angrily. "Fine, you wanna play this game, let's play. You say you've missed touching me? Well, you didn't miss me when you were in bed with Dwayne."

John turned over, his mouth opened slightly as Randy glared at him. He took a deep breath and forced his rising anger down. "Let's not do this, Ran. Neither of us are gonna win here."

"Well, you started it." Randy headed for the bedroom door and gripped the handle. He pulled the door open and walked out, letting it slam behind him. John sighed as the slam echoed through the empty room and mentally called himself every single name in the book. He shouldn't have ruined the happy moment with Randy, especially going so far as to mentioning Cody's name. It had just bubbled up from inside him and he hadn't been able to stop it. His mind and body felt like they were playing ping pong. It went from moments where John was convinced he wanted nothing more than to throw his husband on the bed and ravage him to moments where he could barely touch him because he imagined Cody in his place.

John groaned loudly and headed for the bathroom, clothes in hand. It wasn't time to analyze his mind especially when a glanced at the clock told him he was already running half an hour late. He pushed his thoughts aside and ran for the shower, finishing it and dressing at record speed. His eyes frantically searched the room for his luggage and travel documents then remembered giving them to Randy the night before.

John slowly exited the room, leaving it in its messy state for the housekeeper to deal with. He peered up and down the hall and saw no sign of Randy but heard the muffled sounds of his voice with Alanna. Quickly descending the stairs, John saw all the packed bags standing in front of the door and the backpack he kept his smaller items in, including plane tickets and passport, laying beside them. A small smile crossed his lips as he walked over to the pile of luggage so neatly arranged by Randy and such a familiar sight to see.

"Daddy!"

John turned at the sound of his daughter's voice and smiled as she barreled her way into his arms. He hugged her tightly and lifted her into his arms. "I'm gonna miss you so much, baby."

"I'm gonna miss you, too." Alanna pulled back from the hug, a small pout on her face. "I wish you and Daddy went to the same place all the time like when I was little."

John nodded and pressed a kiss to her forehead. "Me, too, baby."

A loud horn echoed through the home, startling all 3 members of the family. Randy quickly walked over to the large window looking into the driveway and pulled back. "All right, we have to go now, Al. Ray's here with the bus."

Alanna clutched onto John's neck tightly. "Not yet, Daddy!"

Randy sighed and moved to the front door, opening it to let their longtime bus driver in. Ray smiled at them and moved towards the luggage, Randy pointing out his and Alanna's before turning his attention back to his daughter.

"Al, there's no time for this. We have to go."

John hugged his daughter tightly and placed a final kiss on her forehead. "You gotta go, baby but I'll see you in a few days. Be a good girl and have fun. I love you so much, princess."

Alanna nodded, her eyes sad. She let John lower her to the ground and quickly ran over to grab her small backpack. John watched her walk off with Ray before turning his attention to Randy, whose eyes were focused on the wristwatch he wore.

"Your car should be here in like 5 minutes,"

John frowned at Randy's barely spoken mumble. "My car?"

Randy looked up and rolled his eyes. "Yes, your car. How did you expect to get to the airport? You were planning on flying?"

John laughed softly and shook his head. "Oh, I didn't even think of that."

"Of course you didn't. You assumed I would take care of it like I always do," Randy walked over to the door and took the final bag pertaining to him in his hands. He looked at John over his shoulder while standing in the doorway. "Have a good week,"

"Randy, wait!" John walked over to Randy and grabbed his hand, pulling him back in. "We can't leave for a week without talking about what happened upstairs."

"Look, John, I know you're big on talking and stuff but," Randy sighed and shook his head. "We can't right now. I have to go and I don't want to start anything we can't finish."

"Please, Ran, just give me a minute!" John held fast to Randy's hand until finally he relented. Randy took a few steps closer to John and waited.

"This morning was great, Ran. The whole night was. Just the feel of you beside me is something that I have missed so much. Then, this morning, waking up the same way we've woken up for years…it was so good, Ran. I've missed it so much. Just being able to look at you and touch you." John stopped and shook his head, unsure of how to continue. He tried to think about his words but decided to just say what was in his heart. "Look , Ran, every time I think of touching you or kissing you, I get a mental image of Cody doing those things to you. I can't stop imagining that night and I get so angry! We made a vow to only share each other with each other and the thought that someone else has been with you in the same way I was, it drives me crazy. I want those thoughts to go away but I don't know how to make them go away. Does that even make sense to you?"

Randy turned his head to the side and stared off into the living room. His eyes landed on one of the many pictures of him and John, arms entwined and smiling, on their mantle. "Of course it makes sense, John. Don't you think I know that? Don't you think I'm going through the same thing with you?" He slid his hands into his pockets and stood awkwardly. "Look, first things first, I hate the fact that Cody and I had sex. It was the worst mistake of my life and I can assure you, it was nothing like it was when it's me and you. Two drunken guys, one who's also high off his ass, is not a good combination for a night of great lovemaking. Either way, we were intimate in a way I wish we never had been and I know it has to be a fucking nightmare for you. It's the same fucking nightmare for me when I picture you and Dwayne doing things we only swore we would do with each other. I mean, just the fact that he kissed you makes me sick to my stomach. Add that to the fact that I actually caught a glimpse of you and him in action, well…"

John held up his hand and shook his head. "Please stop. My stomach is already turning." He lowered his hand and leaned on the open door. "What are we gonna do about this? I'm sick of this tension and this crazy flip flop we keep doing!"

"We're gonna keep trying to fix things and get better because its obvious we still need a hell of a lot more help," responded Randy, a small smile on his face. "Just keep focusing on the one day we can actually be together again…in every way."

"That sounds like heaven," John stood up straight and walked the few feet to where Randy stood. "I'm gonna miss you so much."

Randy smirked and looked away from John's intent gaze. "Don't get emotional. Anyway, remember, absence makes the heart grow fonder."

John laughed and nodded. "Fine, fine, no emotions." He took a deep breath and motioned out to the bus. "I guess you should go."

Randy nodded and smiled. "I'm gonna miss you, too." He wrapped his arms around John's shoulders, tensing slightly until he felt John quickly embrace him as well, his thick arms wrapping around his waist. Randy relaxed in the embrace and rested his head on John's neck, inhaling deeply the smell that could only be described as belonging to his husband. John turned his head, staring at Randy's lips so close to his but he made no move to join them. "I love you, Randy."

Randy's lips curved into a smile and he nodded softly, rubbing his nose against John's before placing a quick kiss on it. "I love you, too, Johnny. I'll see you in a few days back here, OK."

"OK," John pulled back and released Randy from his hold, watching as he quickly walked towards and into the bus. He lifted his hand in a wave and Ray honked the horn back at him as he drove out of the large driveway. A small sigh escaped him as he found himself alone and he turned to walk back into the house and await the car that would take him to the airport. As he closed the door, his cell phone vibrated in his pocket and John quickly fished it out, frowning at the unfamiliar number.

"Hello,"

"Mr. Cena, how are you? It's Mrs. Long from Adoption Advocates,"

John's eyes widened at the sound of Mrs. Long's voice. She was the Director of the adoption agency he and Randy had contacted and worked with since the moment they decided they wanted a child of their own. "Mrs. Long, how are you? What can I do for you?"

"I'm well, thank you," A small sigh escaped her before continuing. "Let me start by saying how happy I was to hear you and Mr. Orton had been matched with one of our clients. I know you two have waited a very long time for a child."

"Yes, Randy and I were thrilled to hear. We can't wait," responded John, alarm rising in him for some unknown reason.

"I know that and that's why this is a very difficult phone call for me to make,"

John's heart began to race and he lowered his body onto the sofa closest to him. "What's wrong?"

"The young woman carrying the child that would've been adopted by you and Mr. Orton was involved in a car accident yesterday. She came through but the baby did not survive. I'm sorry," Mrs. Long's voice held the same disappointment coursing through John's body now. He sat motionlessly on the sofa, shocked into a state of numbness and lowered the phone slowly from his ear. He could hear Mrs. Long still speaking but he quickly mumbled a goodbye and ended the call, unable to continue the conversation.

John barely heard the phone clatter on the hardwood floor it landed upon. He sat on the sofa, stunned and heard Mrs. Long's voice on repeat in his head. A loud knock on the door minutes later snapped him out of his shock. He turned over to look at it just as a yell came from behind it, "Mr. Cena, its Lincoln Cars! You have a scheduled pick up heading for Tampa International…"

John quickly stood. "I'll be right there!" He cleared his throat and took a deep breath before walking towards the door and opening it. His assigned driver smiled at him and took the bags from his hand, swiftly turning away and heading for the car. John shut the door behind him and listened for the beep of the alarm, signaling it was active. He quickly walked over to the car and slid in the backseat, his mind still swirling with thoughts. The baby meant for him and Randy had died; it no longer existed. The main reason he and Randy had come back together and had agreed to work on saving their marriage was gone. What would happen to them now?

A/N: REVIEW!