A/N: Wow, so I am so so sorry that this took forever! I'm actually out of town on a business trip so unfortunately my muse decided she was staying home. I'm not even sure how I finished this chapter… anyway, the next couple may come a little far apart, at least until I get home. Thanks for sticking with me!

Not Another Mistake

He was too caught up in the moment to think about what it meant, what crossing that line with Felicity would do to their friendship, to the team. In that moment, nothing was more important than having her in his arms. The soft whimpers that escaped her only encouraged him and, before he could stop himself, he was laying her back on her sofa, his body coming down over hers.

It was only when a painful gasp escaped her that he realized what he'd been doing.

He pulled away. Levering himself up on his elbows, he stared down her. The color in her cheeks knocked the air from his lungs. Her hair was tousled. Her limps red and swollen and the line of her jaw was reddened from his abrasive facial hair. She was more beautiful then than he'd ever seen her. The passion that he saw in her eyes emboldened him.

"Your shoulder…"

"Is perfectly fine. Just a little jostled. I'm okay, Oliver."

"We should probably talk," he told her, brushing the hair from her face, "I'm so-"

"Don't you dare apologize. Did I try to stop you? Did you see me resisting? Oliver, I – I've wanted this for a long time. I've wanted you. I do want you."

They lay that way for a long while, neither of them moving until Oliver's shoulders began to ache from the effort of keeping his body from crushing hers. Eventually, he sat up, taking her with him, and tucking her into his side. She pulled her feet up beneath her and her head fell to his shoulder.

"What are we doing? I know that we agreed that things had to change but what we just did makes me think that they already have. What prompted this? Where is it coming from?"

He sighed, the arm that he'd draped around her shoulders pulling her infinitesimally closer. She deserved the truth. Of all of the people in his life, Felicity was the most difficult to lie to. He was certain that, at some point in the time that they'd know each other, he had promised her that he would always be honest with her. And that promise meant that he would tell her things that weren't easy because she deserved to know. He trusted her to trust him. He believed in the faith that she had in him. And it was a faith that not many people shared.

"Sara and I… we made a mistake."

The moment that the words left his mouth her entire body tensed. He felt it when she tried to pull away from him but he only strengthened his hold. He couldn't lose her.

"It isn't what you think. We didn't - It didn't get that far. It could have but the minute that it started, I know that what we were about to do wouldn't be right. It couldn't possibly be right because as much as I care for Sara, what she and I once had could never work now. We're two completely different people. I'm not the kid that I was when I had an affair with her. I'm not the same man that cheated on Laurel with her little sister."

He swallowed hard, closing his eyes briefly as he braced himself to continue.

"I do care about Sara, it would be impossible for me not to after everything that she and I have been through, but there's someone in my life who's more important. If we had given in to that one moment of… whatever it was, we would've been hurting so many people that we love," he said softly, his voice trailing off.

Felicity didn't try to move away from him again and he took it as a good sign. He only hoped that she understood what he wasn't ready to say.

"It would've destroyed Laurel. I mean, after what happened before, with the Gambit and then when you came home without Sara, I can only imagine how devastated she would be if she found out that you and Sara were a couple again."

He sighed again, "Honestly, it wasn't just Laurel that I was worried about hurting. Felicity, I've made mistakes, more than I could even begin to count, but the biggest mistake that I've made since coming home from Lian Yu was hurting you. That night in Russia when you… when Isabel walked out of my hotel room, you looked at me like I'd just killed your best friend. I've never felt so ashamed of myself."

He watched as she nervously picked at her chipping nail polish, her hands resting in her lap.

"So you didn't sleep with Sara?" she muttered, her voice carrying a hint of hope that he would give her the answer that she needed to hear.

He was happy to provide it for her.

"No, I didn't. In fact, I had this voice in my head begging me not to be so stupid and to actually use my head for once. I'm pretty sure I've heard that voice before, generally through the comm link in my ear."

He smiled down at her but she had yet to lift her eyes from her hands.

"Oh."

He could sense her hesitation, could feel it in every tense muscle of her body where the was pressed against his side. The fact that he and Sara had almost crossed a line was clearly sitting heavily on her. It weighed equally on him. If they'd let it happen, if he hadn't pulled away when he had, everything would've fallen apart. He had seen the hurt in her eyes that night in Russia when things with Isabel had gotten out of hand and he hadn't been exaggerating when he had told her that he had never felt greater shame than in that moment. If he had made the same mistake with Sara, he knew that they would never have been able to recover. He was sure that it would've been the last straw and he would've pushed her away. At least, that had been what he'd been so afraid of.

Felicity was a fundamental part of his day to day existence, not only because she was his executive assistant but because she was his friend, his partner. She knew him better than anyone, sometimes better than he knew himself, and more often that not, she was his conscience. She was the voice of reason to their entire team, to their operation. He knew that moving day to day without her beside him wouldn't be living, it would merely be surviving. He didn't want to just survive anymore. Thinking back to the three weeks that she'd spent in Central City at Barry Allen's beside, he knew that losing her was not something that he could bear.

"Is it just me, or does this seem like it's going to be incredibly difficult?" she grumbled, her body finally relaxing as she sunk into his embrace, "Not that I thought that it would be easy. Not that anything with you is. It isn't that I've ever really thought about this in great detail or anything. But I mean, why would it be easy? You spend half of your time being the CEO of a billion dollar company and the other half chasing down the people trying to destroy this city with a bow and arrow. Nothing about your life is easy, is it?"

He couldn't help but chuckle as she rambled.

"It'll get easier. We'll figure it out. We're good at this, and finding the answers together."

She moved away slightly, easing herself out from under his arm so that she was facing him, a very narrow gap between them.

"Figure what out, exactly? We still haven't defined just what it is that we're doing here. Are we, you know, dating? Are we a couple? I need some clarification."

He shrugged, lifting his hand to the side of her face once again, and stroked his thumb across her lower lip. He saw her gaze flicker away from his eyes to his mouth. It was the briefest of movements but he saw it and the sight caused his heart to hammer in his chest. There was no denying the attraction between them, the physical pull that made resisting her so difficult for him, and he was thankful that he no longer had to deny what he felt. She was beautiful, it was evident to anyone with working eyes, but it wasn't only her physical beauty that made him want her.

Felicity was the light at the end of the tunnel. She was the heart of him, of their team. Her optimism, her enthusiasm, her brightness were all qualities that encouraged him to keep going. He knew that, without her, everything that he worked so hard for would be pointless.

"We can be whatever we want to be," he said softly, "But I don't want to keep dancing around whatever this is between us. I need you in my life, Felicity, in every way possible."

Her eyes widened slightly, glistening with unshed tears. He watched her face transform as she smiled at him, her joy warring with her surprise. It wasn't like him to be so open with her, so candid, but more than anyone, she deserved the truth. He'd kept so much of himself hidden, bottled deep inside because he feared her reaction. He worried that, if she only saw how black his soul truly was, she would leave him and he hadn't been willing to risk losing her. But she had never left. After all that they had been through, all that he'd done, she was still there. She was still there standing beside him, supporting him, believing in him. He wouldn't have blamed her if she'd chosen to leave and he was beyond thankful that she'd chosen to stay.

"And Sara? You really think… you think that she's going to be okay with us? With you and I being something other than what we've been?" she questioned.

He sighed, a smile tugging at his own lips. He wasn't surprised that it was Sara that Felicity was worried about. She was selfless. She cared so much about the feelings of those around her that she seemed to forget herself on occasion.

"Don't worry about Sara, Felicity. She isn't going to be hurt or jealous. In fact, I think she wants you and I to be together. I'm pretty sure that she thinks that you're the best thing that's ever happened to me. And I don't think that I can argue with that logic."

She shook her head, "Who are you and what have you done with the real Oliver Queen?"

He leaned into her again, the hand on her face sliding into her hair and tangling with the blonde tresses at the nape of her neck. He tugged gently, tipping her head back to look down into her eyes. When her tongue peaked out to wet her lips and her eyes darted to his mouth again, he grinned.

"I'm right here, Felicity, and I'm not going anywhere."

He sealed his mouth over hers, cutting off the response he was sure he would've gotten otherwise.