A/N: Inspired by the delightful ditty "Would You Like To Swing On A Star?" Not meant to offend, only to entertain, so if the Sue or the Angst match one of your characters, don't garrote me. As for the Wench...well. That's rather self-explanatory. And, if it isn't, then you obviously haven't seen my profile or read my fizzling magnum opus.

Enjoy.


Oh, would you like to be a big star?

Getting roses thrown from afar?

And be better off than you are?

Or would you rather be a Sue?

A Sue is a flufferpuff with a beautiful face

In phics, she's a terrible disgrace!

The way just to spot her is her color-changing eyes

Strand-perfect hair, what a surprise!

But if you think that's the writing style for you—

You may grow up to be a Sue!

Oh, would you like to be a big star?

Getting roses thrown from afar?

And be better off than you are?

Or would you rather be an Angst?

An Angst is a fan of every rock band she hears!

Evanescence brings her to tears...

Her pain indescribable, her morals weak

She's just plain morbid with a rebellious streak!

If you wear black clothes, stripes, and little bangs

You may grow up to be an Angst!

Oh, would you like to be a big star?

Getting roses thrown from afar?

And be better off than you are?

Or would you rather be a Wench?

A Wench is a pre-Christine who finds Erik's lair

She can't swim and has unruly hair

They're quite well-acquainted but then she goes away

But don't you worry—she'll be back someday!

If you're not put off by Erik's deathly stench

You may grow up to be a Wench!

(music)

Some kind of telepathically dreaming Wench!

There's some odd writers on this site, it's true

Everyday you'll see quite a few

So you see it's all up to you

You could be better than you are--

You could be writing like a star!