Chapter 9 BPOV

I was stunned. What? A tumor? That would never happen. I blinked a lot of times.
"This is not true,right?"
"We have to confirm this first,before we make any diagnosis about the tumor." He said,pulling my hand. I followed him outside.
"Bella?" Jasper asked,confused. I just bowed my head a little.
"I have..to take some medicine. It'll be alright." I tried to smile for him,to let him see that I was okay. He was convinced and took his seat again.

I wore a white kind of dress(not really a dress,but somewhat like an apron) and the doctor let me lie on the white kind of surface. His companions pushed a button and the surface began to move. I needed this,to see whether I was sick or not. A part of me wanted this to be the last memory I had,to be inside this machine. A part of me wanted to keep me alive,to let me still see the future I no longer longed two sides of me,the two Bellas fighting over the real me. I was at the center,trying not to let them fight.
Don't do this,Bella. You can't. The other Bella said,wearing white. But,it wasn't me. It was my grandmother,when she was still alive. She looked so young.
Let it be. You can't live anymore. He's gone. The other one said. She was a new Bella,with bitterness and hatred in her eyes. But,I could see that she was only lonely. Someone who wanted care. Someone who wanted much love. She was the little me,when I didn't knew why my father likes to bid about useless lands. My father who always used to torture my mother,my father who often scolded me for things I have never done. My father who never really cared about my happiness. She looked so alone.
I wanted to comfort the little Bella,and hug her and hold her tight. I felt what she felt. But,the grandma was there. I wanted her to embrace Grandma,to let her feel how she can be loved by herself. Grandma started to reach for the little Bella,like she always used to when she was alive. But,she shook her,and backed away from her as she started to reach. And,before I could know what would happen, I was taken out of the machine. Someone asked me to go back to the doctor's office and wait. I made my way towards the door,and sat at the comfortable couch near the desk. I returned to the two people in my mind.

I can't do this. I don't know what to do. I thought to myself. Grandma and little Bella started to fight again. Their murmurs on my mind made me more hysterical.
"Isabella?" The doctor asked."Are you ready?" I slowly breathed,and nodded.
"According to the examinations,the tumor isn't in your eye. We made a mistake."
I nodded for him to continue.
"It's in your brain." he said,the words slowly falling. I didn't embrace the words at first.
"What? A brain tumor?"
"Yes. You could see the test results right here." He handed me the board he was holding earlier. I looked at it carefully,and saw something in the upper right. A big whitish imperfect circle was there.
What was I going to do? I needed someone to help me,but I couldn't make anyone worry about me.
I stared at the paper,shocked of what I saw. The doctor snapped.
"We can remove the tumor,but it has a high risk. You can die,since the tumor has gotten bigger. It's risky,"
"I can't let them know," I murmured. Then,it came to me. Grandma had died from brain tumor. It means...I inherited it?
"My grandmother...she died from brain tumor."
"More risk. You inherited it. You have to let your family know. They're the only ones who can help you right now."
I thought of Renee,Jasper and Em. They supported me,and have always been. I can't let them worry.
"This is for the best. I can tell him,for you."
"No. I'd rather do it myself," I reassured him. The doctor asked me to follow him,and we stopped at the room where I had been before the tests were given. He stood up,worried again.

"What's wrong?" Jasper asked. He laid down the papers on his seat,and stared at us,curious. I was having an epiphany when the doctor suddenly snapped.
"May I excuse myself? Miss Isabella Swan,would you mind telling Jasper Hale about this?" He quietly mentioned,and went on his way. He gave me the test results.
"What's that?" Jasper asked."Is there something I don't know?"
A wisp of silence passed through us. The pressure was making me nervous,but I wasn't able to lie.
"Jasper,look at this." I commanded. I handed the paper to him,and watched him examine the paper furiously. He glanced at me,his face full of emptiness and shock. His features were frozen.
"This means..."
"Yes,Jasper. I have a brain tumor,and I can die. Soon." The words in my mouth began to crack. They seemed nothing to me awhile ago,but they meant to much now. I wanted to drop down to my knees,and tell him I'm sorry. I was being more of a burden than a sister to Jasper and Em,and more of a trash to Renee. A sob built up in my chest,until I couldn't control myself anymore.
I dropped to my knees,and covered my face.

Jazz POV

I couldn't believe this. Bella? She has been healthy as a horse since we were little. She rarely gets sick. Bella was fragile,but her health was strong. I really couldn't extinguish the reason why she had this.
She seemed so normal. I wanted to cry with her on the floor,to share her pain. Bella can never be like this. Bella can never 's the only thing I could take care of now,since Alice went away. The thought of her having to experience this much was also too much for me. I can't take it. Bella sacrificed a lot for us,a lot for Edward,too. It was really a pain to know this.
"Bella," I let out a sob that I kept from my chest. I fell to my knees,and knelt down beside her. I hugged her,and kissed her head gently. She cried on my chest for a while,until she was able to keep it.
She started to shake slowly,her hand twitching. I held it firmly,trying to stop it. She never did stop. I called for the doctor.

End.