Dr. Robotnik had sent some stealthbots to the Great Forest as a recon force. However, Harry Potter Obama had gotten the drop on them and proceeded to take action. On the ground, he found a gold ring that was glowing. He picked it up, and it turned out to be a Power Ring! Having been energized, he jumped atop the trees and wrecked all the stealthbots with a series of jumps.


Once again, Sonic found himself in a strange place & time.

"Man, when am I gonna get back to Mobius?" he said to himself. "I just hope this place is friendlier than the last place I was in!" Sonic prepared to speed away, when suddenly…

"Well, lookit what we have here, boys!" said a soldier wearing a grey uniform, accompanied by a group of men wearing identical uniforms.

"Looks like we got us a Union spy!" said another soldier. These men were Confederate soldiers, and Sonic was in the middle of the Civil War.

"Uh-oh! Gotta pack, Jack!" Sonic ran as fast as he could. The group of Confederate soldiers fired at Sonic, but they all missed. Sonic was having quite a time trying to get to a safe zone, because he would sometimes find himself in the middle of battles. Luckily, Sonic made it to friendly territory without serious injury.

Behind the Union lines, Sonic ran into a group of Union soldiers. One of them spoke up:

"Hey, that looks like one of our own!"

"He must be!" said another soldier, who asked Sonic: "Where is the rest of your unit?"

"What unit?" asked Sonic.

"Well, you must have a unit somewhere!" said the same soldier.

"Look, I'm not even with a unit!"

"Well, would you have any interest in joining us?" asked another soldier.

"Gee, I dunno…" replied Sonic.

"We could always use some more men!" said yet another soldier.

"Hmmm…" Sonic gave it a few moments, then said: "OK, I am sold!"

"Good!" said the first soldier. "Let's get back to our camp before the Rebels spot us!" Sonic & the soldiers headed back to the main camp, where the soldiers took Sonic to meet their leader, a guy with a mustache.

"Sir, we have a new recruit here," said one of the soldiers.

"Very well," said the man. "What is your name?"

"I'm Sonic, Sonic the Hedgehog! Reporting for duty, sir!" Sonic saluted the man.

"I am Brigadier General John Buford, 1st Cavalry Division," said the general, who returned the salute. "I am glad you've chosen to join us."

"OK, so when do I get started, sir?"

"First, we must get you prepared for fighting against the Rebels." Thus, Sonic was given a uniform, a rifle and was made to take a crash course in combat training. Sonic's instructors were impressed by his super speed. Though he'd never fired a rifle before and was not fond of using guns, Sonic did all right when it came to the firing range.

Near the end of the day, Sonic had a nice chat with his fellow Union soldiers. Mainly, the chat revolved around where Sonic was from, how he had super speed and what it was like back home. He told them about Dr. Robotnik's takeover, the roboticizing of fellow Mobians, that sort of thing. As to be expected, hardly any of them believed Sonic. Even after he explained things, they still thought he was joking. Nevertheless, they found Sonic to be an agreeable fellow and were proud to have him as part of their unit.

When night fell, however, Sonic couldn't sleep. All he could think about was how much he missed Tails, Sally and all his other friends. He wondered how long he was going to be here. He also wondered if any of this was real or if it was just a dream…


Back in the present day, Ogórki was running around, minding his own business when Amy Rose tackled him. Amy was a pink hedgehog with a red dress & headband who often pined for Sonic. Contrary to her expectations, Sonic showed no interest in her.

"Oh Sonic, I knew you would come my way!" exclaimed Amy. The two of them stood up. "I just want to be with you forever!" said Amy Then, Amy started sniffing. "Sonic, you smell funny! Did you put on a new kind of aftershave?"

Ogórki turned around and gave Amy an affectionate look while holding her in his arms. "Co piękno! Wiedziałem, że przyjdziesz do mnie, mój aniele!" he said.

"You learned a new language for ME!? That's so sweet of you!"

"Oh, kochanie! Choć uważam się podejrzliwie z półki w Polsce, oddałbym życie za Ciebie!" Ogórki proceeded to kiss Amy.

"Thanks, Sonic! I always knew you loved me!" Ogórki continued kissing her. "Wow…you really love me!" Amy was a bit flustered. Ogórki kept going, though he started to go a bit too far.

"Sonic, what are you doing!?" demanded Amy. "No…Sonic…let me go! Sonic, STOP!" Amy tried to free herself from Ogórki's grasp, but she was having trouble. "Sonic, you're going too fast! AAAH! Stop! STOP!" Luckily, she broke free of Ogórki's grip and bashed him with her Piko Piko Hammer, an oversized hammer that she carried around. Ogórki was knocked cold.

"That'll show you, you weirdo!" Amy ran home.


Antoine & Bunnie got back to Knothole with the news of Sonic's (Ogórki's, actually) running around.

"Oh no, that's not good!" said Sally. "We need him back here now!"

"Yeah!" said Rotor. "We're almost finished with the laser, but we can't hold off Robotnik's forces by ourselves!"

"I'm pretty much finished with Sonic's bike," said Tails, who was putting some finishing touches on the Yamaha. "I'll see if I can talk to him!"

"Be careful, Tails!" said Sally. Tails flew out into the Great Forest, looking for Sonic. Everyone else went back to their posts.

Antoine opened the door to his hut and discovered Harry Potter Obama there, standing rather close to the Green Hill Zone model.

"Ah, 'allo there, Sonic!" said Antoine. "We are worrying about you!"

Harry Potter Obama sang a song to the tune of the Colonel Bogey March:

"希特勒只投中一睾丸,
戈林有两个,但非常小,
希姆莱有几分相似,
但是可怜的戈培尔有没有在所有的睾丸!"

Harry Potter Obama took a small, plunger-type detonator and pressed the switch.

BOOOM!

Antoine's model of Green Hill Zone was blown up.

"NOOO! My artwork!" screamed Antoine, who fell to his knees, crying. "This is terrible!" Harry Potter Obama got out of there as quickly as he could.

Bunnie came into Antoine's hut. "Antoine, what's wrong?" she asked. Then, she noticed the remains of Antoine's model. "Oh my stars! What happened to your model!?"

"Thrown up! All my 'ard work is throwing up!" Antoine continued crying.

"Oh honey, I feel so bad for you!" Bunnie gave Antoine a hug and attempted to comfort him.

Sally rushed into the hut.

"What happened!?" inquired Sally, who saw the whole thing. "Oh my…"

"Uh…Sally girl, I don't think this is the best time," said Bunnie.

"Yes, I understand," Sally left Antoine & Bunnie alone.


Meanwhile, Tails was keeping an eye out for Sonic. So far, he hadn't had much luck, until he spotted a green streak running through the forest. He descended for a closer look.

"SONIC!" exclaimed Tails. Actually, it was Ogórki, but Tails didn't know that and radioed in to Sally:

"This is Orange Wonder to base, I've found Old Blue, over!"

"Base to Orange Wonder," said Sally, "see if you can bring him home, out!"

"Got it! Orange Wonder out!" Tails focused on Ogórki.

"Hey Sonic, Aunt Sally wants you home!" said Tails.

"Zapomnij o tym, dzieciaku!" retorted Ogórki.

"What did you say, Sonic?"

"Powiedziałem o tym zapomnieć! Jestem wysoki walcowania już teraz!"

"I'm sorry, but I can't understand you!"

"Idź sobie! Jestem wyższy niż z prędkością światła! To ja i prędkość, i nie jest nigdy nie wróci, frajerze!"

"Sonic, come back! You're heading right…back…for…" Tails got tired and had to land. As a result, he lost Ogórki.

After a couple seconds of trying to catch his breath, Tails radioed Sally:

"Base…this is the Orange Wonder! I've lost him, over!"

"Oh no!" said Sally. "What direction was he heading in? Over!"

"He was heading for Eggopolis, over!"

"Oh no, that's very bad! Orange Wonder, report back and get the device ready! We'll worry about Old Blue! Base out!"

"Roger! Orange Wonder Out!" As soon as Tails was feeling recharged, he headed back for Knothole.


The next day, Sonic got up at reveille. He was feeling pretty groggy because he didn't sleep so well. Adding to this was the fact that they had to get up early. However, the day's breakfast – hardtack and coffee – gave Sonic a bit of a jolt. He nearly broke his teeth trying to eat the hardtack, though. One of his Union comrades showed him the trick to eating it: dunking it in the coffee.

"Thanks, man," said Sonic, "but I really wish I had a chili dog right now! It's been ages since I had one!"

"What is a 'chili dog'?" asked the soldier. Sonic told him the details.

"Sorry, friend, but we do not have any of those here," said the soldier. "Of course, they usually give us salt pork or beef, so that might suit you. Of course, we are lucky if the stuff has no maggots in it!"

"Maggots!? BLECH!" exclaimed Sonic.

"I understand how you feel, friend. Now come, I think we have to move out now!"

"Got it! By the way, what's your name?"

"Name's Robert."

"I'm Sonic the Hedgehog…but ya probably already knew that one, huh?"

After the morning routine, Buford's division marched on. Sonic hardly broke a sweat during the march, but he was worried about the whole thing. He had good reason to worry, too: The Union troops were setting up at Herr's Ridge, McPherson Ridge and Seminary Ridge, and it was here that they were to hold off the Confederate troops in the opening hours of the Battle of Gettysburg.

At first, nobody came. Sonic was eager to see some action.

"IIIIIIIIII'mmmmmmm waaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiitiiiiiiinn nnnnnnng!" said Sonic, tapping his foot.

"Hey, calm down!" said one of the soldiers. "Why are you so eager to face the Rebels anyways? Do you really want to die?"

"Naw man, I just wanna get back home!"

"Hey, we all want to get back home! Just have a little patience and maybe we will get out of this alive!"

"Whatever ya say, pal!"

Eventually, the Confederates showed up. When the gunfire started, Sonic dropped his Sharps rifle and ran. No, he didn't retreat. Rather, he dodged the Union & Confederate bullets as best as he could and tried to distract the Confederates. It worked pretty well, but then, Sonic was sent through time & space yet again…


NOTES/TRIVIA:

-Sharps Rifle: A breech-loading, single-shot rifle that was popular with both the Union & Confederate Armies during the Civil War.