DISCLAIMER: SM OWNS ALL, EXCEPT THE PLOT
A/N: You're gonna hate me! Please don't flame me to hell! Read and Review as always!
CHAPTER 9 (song suggestion Human by Civil Twilight)
Twenty minutes after I hung up on Rose, the sounds of Bella's rumbling truck were speeding down my drive. I stood out on the porch waiting for her, and watched as she jumped out of the cab with lighting speed.
There were angry tears streaming down her face as she stomped up the pathway leading to the porch. Once she stood in front of the steps, it was like all the fight in her just left. Her hands were clasped as if she was praying; they were so tight that the skin around her knuckles was white. A sob ripped through her chest and my heart broke.
"You have to stop!" she sobbed.
"Bella-
"No! I can't—I cannot—lose him again. I won't make it, Leah!" she sobbed.
"I know that you love him." She choked when she said love. "But you have to stay away from him."
"Do you have any idea what that will do to me?"
"I can't say that I care, I mean since you've been going around kissing my boyfriend!" she yelled, her face blushing red.
"I'm sorry." I said feeling embarrassment and guilt take over my system.
"Your apologies mean nothing to me. If you really love him, really love him, and are truly sorry for what you've done then break off whatever twisted love affair you have going on with him!"
"Bella-
"And you'll do it!" she yelled turning on her heel and walking back to her car. "Today, do it today."
She left and I sunk down on the steps. I let myself wallow in despair, just for a little while; knowing that I was going to do exactly what Bella had begged me too. That was who I was after all, Leah the sacrificial lamb.
I was going to die soon.
I was forced to sacrifice Sam to Emily. I became a shape shifter, sacrificing the ability to have children. And when I imprint, I become the sacrifice so he can be happy with the woman that he loves.
I had survived many storms in my life, but this was one that I could not weather no matter how hard I tried.
It's true the universe does hate me.
At the sound of my mother's car, I reigned in the despair and put a smile on my face and tried to lighten my eyes up as much as possible.
"Hey baby." She said smiling. Her hand ghosted over my head as she climbed the steps to the porch.
"Hey mama."
"I saw Edward's car as I was driving in." She said as he came racing down the street. He was out of the car before it could even stop.
Well that was fast.
"Can we talk?" he said.
I nodded and stood up.
Out there, I nodded towards the forest and broke out into a jog.
As I ran, I built that precious wall around my mind knowing if he even detected how I really felt at any point in this conversation, this would be in vain.
"Bella came to see you?" he asked.
"Yes, she found out about the kiss."
"I know." He groaned with his hands rubbing over his face.
"She said some things to me, and they made sense." I began feeling nervous. "I can't do this—I don't want to do this anymore."
I couldn't even look at him.
"This back and forth shit is making me sick. And I don't even know why because I knew it would be like this at the beginning. I knew that nothing would change, and that eventually this day would come."
"What are you doing? What are you saying?" I could hear the panic in his voice.
"This is done. We are not friends anymore." My voice was so cold and distant.
He took a step towards me causing me to take two back.
"Stop it." He said through tight lips.
"I don't want you to come here ever again. Don't call me ever again." I shifted my eyes to him and felt them glaze over, forcing them to look like empty bottomless pits. "You won't accept me as your imprint, therefore I will not accept you."
"No!" he roared.
He came at me before I could open my mouth to speak, his fingers wrapped around my throat as he shoved me against a tree.
I couldn't breath. My vision was splotchy. Tears were rolling down my face.
Edward, please. I begged and watched as something clicked in his head and he looked down at this hand in horror.
As I fell to the ground, I greedily sucked in oxygen, my own hands touching my neck. I heard him fall to his knees, and the leaves shuffling as he crawled to me. My eyes were wide with fear as I watched his hands come near me.
"No!" I croaked, trying my best to get away from him whilst still struggling to breath. I could barely even move, but I began to crawl away from him.
When I felt his hand touch my ankle, I panicked feeling the scream creep up throat, but his hand covered my mouth.
Please, please, please.
I didn't even know what I was begging for.
"Shhh… it's okay." He whispered. "I'm not going to hurt you." His eyes were shiny with unshed tears.
He slowly uncovered my mouth, eyes looking deeply into mine. His face held nothing but anguish. I knew that mine looked like a lost helpless child. It's how I felt. I was scared of him, but beyond that I was disappointed.
"Leah, I-
Please leave.
"Leah, please." He moaned, his face falling apart.
I closed my eyes, not able to bare the look on his face. "Just go."
I heard him shift as he stood and walked away from me. When he got to his car he slammed the door with so much force that I was surprised it didn't fall off. His tires screeched as he sped off and when I was finally alone with the trees, I let the tears fall.
It wasn't long before Rosalie came bounding through the trees; she fell to her knees and lifted my chin. Her eyes were hard as she looked at the bruise on my neck.
"It'll be gone soon." I mumbled trying to move my head, but her grip was strong.
"Are you okay?"
I shook my head feeling more tears fall down my face. She dropped her hand and sat next to me, wrapping one arm around my shoulders. I leant my head on her shoulders as I sobbed.
"Thanks." I croaked once my tears subsided.
"Numero uno, remember." She was quiet for a beat. "What happened? Bella stormed out, I assume she came here, but she came back as quick as she left. Then Edward comes home and all but collapsed when he gets through the door, wouldn't even talk to her."
"It's complicated…"
"Well then uncomplicated it for me."
"She came here and begged me to send him away. Said if I really loved him, that I would break it off."
"And do you?" she asked softly.
"Yes."
"This will kill you." She said squeezing me lightly.
"What's done is done."
"Things can always be fixed." She countered.
"Not this."
Rosalie distracted my mom as I hurried up the stairs and locked myself in my room. I curled into myself as I clutched the covers in my hands. My eyes moved around my room taking in all the little nooks and crannies that had come to define my life.
None of it mattered. Nothing mattered without him.
Not everything can be fixed.
This cannot be fixed.
A/N: Still like me? Read and Review please!
