I sat staring down into my mug without really seeing. I could hear the soft sounds of Jake moving around the house making sure everything was locked up and secured. After a moment, he came into the kitchen, squeezing my shoulder and kissing the top of my head before dropping into the chair across from me. I pushed a cup of coffee towards him and he took a sip.

"So what are we going to do?"

I shook my head and rubbed my eyes. "I don't know. I have to get a job."

He sat back in his chair and frowned. "You're five months pregnant."

"Well, what do you suggest we do?" I asked frustratedly. "We have three children to support and two more on the way. Obviously your job isn't cutting it and we have bills to pay."

"Fuck, Bella, the bills are just the pregnancy. If we do another home birth…"

"Edward doesn't recommend we do that," I interrupted him. "Shit, what if something went wrong?"

"Nothing has in the past," he said stubbornly.

"No, but it could."

He sighed and held his head in his hands, staring at the scarred tabletop. "What if we cut back?"

"On what? We don't have cable or internet or even a phone line. I clip coupons and the dads help out a lot as it is."

He didn't move, though his fingers tightened in his hair. "Fuck."

I nodded and shifted uncomfortably in my seat. Twins. What a fucking nightmare. We were excited and at the same time…not excited. Jake had asked for a cost of living increase when Bill had been born but that was so recent, less than a year, there was very little chance he could get another one. The dads helped out a lot more than they should, spontaneously bringing us groceries or toys for the kids or insisting on taking us out for a meal. I was a little embarrassed about it, to be honest.

"There's another option," he said suddenly.

"You can't be serious."

"Bella, come on."

"No, Jake. This house is crowded enough as it is. We can't fit two more babies and your dad in here. It's not going to happen."

"What if we sold both houses and bought a bigger one? Maybe your dad would get in on it, too."

"I'm not going to ask our dads to do that, give up their independence and move in with us to help us out financially. That's not right."

"Well, it's the only thing that makes even a little bit of sense."

"My getting a job doesn't make sense?"

"Frankly, no." He sat back then and studied me. "Bells, you'd have to get a fan-fucking-tastic job for us to even break even if we're putting five kids into day care."

"Lucas has school," I argued.

"Fine. Four, but still."

My head hurt. I could feel the dull ache starting behind my eyes and spreading down my neck and around the back of my head. He had a point.

"They've been hinting they'd be interested in something like that, Bells," he said softly. "We see one or both of them practically every day as it is. Just think how much they'd enjoy being with their grandkids and how much the kids would love having their grandfathers around."

I nodded, rubbing my temples and willing myself not to cry. It felt so much like failure to have to have my dad move in with me so I could afford to feed my children.

"Shit, Jake," I hiccupped softly. "What kind of parents are we if we can't take care of our kids on our own?"

He was silent for a moment. "We just got in over our heads," he said finally. "I'm not completely opposed to you getting a job, I just…you have to realize that with you doing that, our expenses will go up because of childcare."

"I do," I muttered, turning my mug in my hands. "I also realize that the likelihood of me getting a really good job are slim to none since I've been unemployed for 8 years."

He nodded, his dark eyes fixed on my face. "Maybe I can talk to Jared at the garage, see what he thinks about you coming in and doing reception or bookkeeping or something. The kids can take over that little back office and just go hog wild."

I nodded and sniffed. I felt lower than pond scum having to have my husband pull strings at his job for me. I suddenly felt his strong warm hands on my back and shoulders, rubbing soothingly.

"Bells, it's ok to ask for help," he said softly. I nodded miserably. He pulled me closer to him and kissed my temple. "It'll be fine," he murmured against my hair. "I promise. We're in this together and it'll be fine."

***

"So what's the big news?" Dad asked, making faces at Bill who grinned back at him and reached for his mustache.

"We're having twins," Jake grinned, settling into his seat across from Dad.

Billy beamed. "Now that's fantastic news. Congratulations. Boys? Girls?"

"Girls," I laughed. "It's going to be a trip, I'm sure."

Dad and Billy exchanged a glance. "We've got some news, too."

"Oh?" I set the big pot of spaghetti down in the middle of the table and picked up Nessie, strapping her into her seat.

"I'm retiring," Dad announced. "I'm going to sell the house in Forks and move in with Billy."

"I'm too old to live on my own anymore," Billy grinned.

Dad nodded. "And I'm tired of living alone. I've done it for years and I'm interested in having a roommate." Clearly, they were looking forward to living together.

I shifted awkwardly, spooning some spaghetti onto Nessie's plate. "Sounds great. When are you going to do all that?"

"As soon as the house sells."

"You know," Billy said suddenly, looking up from Bill "that great house a couple blocks down is for sale. With two more kids on the way you might look at buying that place."

"What's so great about the house?" I asked curiously, cutting up the spaghetti on Nessie's plate.

"Oh, Bells, you'd love it," grinned Jake taking a pull on his beer. "It's a big old house built by one of the army commanders for himself and his wife to flaunt their wealth and status over the poor 'Injuns.' It's got like, three floors, three bathrooms, six bedrooms or something, huge yard, it's awesome."

"How do you know what the inside is like?" I laughed.

"I knew the kid who lived there in elementary school. His parents had money. They moved away right before middle school and someone else moved in. I haven't been in it in years, but it was pretty great."

I nodded and smiled slightly. "Sounds great, but we can't afford something like that I'm sure."

"Oh come on now, you don't know what you can afford," protested Dad. That sounds like the perfect house for a growing family."

"Unless it's free, we can't afford it." I tried to keep my voice light but there was a slight tremor in it. The kids were the only ones who didn't notice.

"What's going on?" Billy's voice was light with a backbone of steel.

I swallowed hard and looked at Jake. He sighed.

"We're broke."

"Broke broke?" Dad looked back and forth between us with surprise. "What happened?"

"We just never really caught up on the bills from the move."

"Dammit, son that was two years ago," protested Billy.

Lucas head shot up, his mouth in a small O of surprise. He'd heard Jake and I swear but never his grandparents. Billy flushed slightly.

"Sorry. ShÍpa shouldn't have said that."

Lucas nodded and stared down at his spaghetti for a moment before going back to shoveling food in. Billy turned his attention back to his son, shooting him a withering glare.

"Explain yourself."

Jake sighed. "Expenses just kept coming up, Dad. The plumbing in the house had to be fixed that first winter, remember? Then the car died and we had to buy a new one, we had another kid…we just…we're not flat broke but we're close."

"We will be when these two are born," I muttered, poking at my food.

"You know," Dad began slowly. "I was just going to put the money I get for my house into a savings account. Sounds like you need it a lot more than I do."

"Dad, no," I said sharply. "That's your retirement fund."

"And what kind of retirement do you think I'm going to have? I won't be enjoying it if my grandkids are starving and freezing, I'll tell you that much."

I swallowed hard, staring down at the plate again. I couldn't look my father in the eye and ask for help. It would hurt too much.

"Here's the new plan," announced Billy suddenly. "We'll all sell our houses and buy the big one. They've got a room on the first floor I can turn into a bedroom and that'll leave plenty of room for everyone. We'll be around to be doting spoiling grandfathers and we can put the extra money into an account for fishing trips and beer."

"Billy," I began but he held up his hand.

"Nope. You need help. We old farts don't want to live alone. I'm decided."

"I'm in agreement," Dad said, tapped the bottom of his beer bottle on the table a couple times. "We'll all be one big happy noisy messy family in one house." He grinned and I knew he was thrilled. He'd wanted a big family but when Mom left, those dreams went with her. Even now, she only had the one with Phil, claiming she was too old for that child even.

I pushed back from the table and left without a word, heading into my room. I sank down on the edge of the mattress and looked around the room. Nothing we had was nice anymore and very little of it had been when we'd gotten it. I hated being poor. I hated not being able to buy my kids the toys they wanted. I hated these feelings of inadequacy.

"Bella?"

I looked up then, wiping at the tears that were on my face. "Hey Dad."

He came in and settled beside me on the bed, one arm around my shoulders. "It's ok. We don't mind moving in. We're looking forward to it, actually. Really."

I nodded but didn't say anything. "I just feel like such a fuck up," I said hoarsely.

He was quiet for a moment. "That's part of parenthood, sweetie."

I laughed softly and rested my head on his shoulder. "I just don't want us to start resenting each other or anything. I want us to still enjoy each other's company."

"And we will. I didn't let that whole incident a couple Christmases ago bother me did I?"

I blushed. "No, but shit, Dad, that wasn't actual sex. Jake and I still have sex as you can tell." I gestured to my belly.

"Well, just…lock your doors."

I laughed and nodded. "That's just the least of my worries, Dad. I don't want you two to feel like we're using you for childcare or money or anything."

"We won't. It'll just be easier for everyone involved, sweetie. You know we love coming for dinner and Billy's not as young as he used to be. It's harder for him to get around in that house by himself."

"I know."

He kissed my temple. "It'll be fine, sweetie. I promise. Anytime you and Jake get tired of us, just send us on a fishing trip and we'll take the boys with us. Nessie, too."

I smiled and hugged him. "I love you Dad."

"Love you too, Bells." He kissed my forehead again. "Everything will be fine."