Her eyes fluttered open and she looked around sleepily. She was wrapped in a soft woolen blanket with a fire burning low next to her. Her body ached and her head throbbed, but for the first time in a long time there was silence within her mind.
The woods around her were quiet, and she closed her eyes again. She thought she was about to drift back to sleep when a sudden rustling noise made her bolt up, groping for a weapon to use against whatever it was. She scanned the trees around her, searching until she noticed a bunny and her small clutch of babies snuffling at the grass twenty yards away by a small pond of water. She relaxed and lay back, pulling the blankets up to her nose.
The leaves above her swayed softly in the wind, their dark green stems bending gracefully. Her eyes followed from where the stem became part of the leaf and branched off into the fine veins that spider webbed in an intricate network of little channels of xylem and phloem.
'Wait…I can SEE that? I could HEAR that? What the hell is going on? I have 20/20 vision, but this is a whole new level of seeing clearly.' The sun beamed down on her and she realized that it had been weeks since she had left her friends. She remembered so little it felt like only hours ago she was fighting Naraku alongside her friends.
Dread came creeping, as this meant that whatever evil was inside of her had been running rampant for weeks. She had probably killed, hurt and destroyed everything she had come across. Demon, human, animal. Like a dark ocean the beast within her stirred, providing a slideshow of atrocities she had unleashed indiscriminately.
Fury boiled within her.
'Why show this to me? Why give me back my body?'
To attain full control we must break your spirit. We have had a taste of the blood of this world. Worry not, little human. We will take you back soon.
The cackle echoed in her mind sending chills down her spine as it faded into silence.
'I'll never stop fighting you.' She hissed, but only silence responded.
She sighed and sat up and looked around, trying to figure out where she was but nothing looked familiar. The embers of what use to be a fire were still hot and glowing, which gave her some peace of mind. Sesshomaru had not been long gone if the fire was still this hot, but there was no sign of the youkai lord. She gave a disgruntled groan as she sat up.
She threw the blanket off intending to stand up when her legs caught her attention. Smooth, pale, unscarred skin covered most of her body. She had been prepared to be a disfigured wretch for the rest of her life as long as it meant no one else got hurt. The only trace that something had gone horribly wrong was the scar from Sesshomaru's acid whip, which was really only a fine pink line, and a few more miscellaneous marks scattered across her body. Her back was the only exception. She was sure she didn't want to see it. It was tingling so bad it was painful, like the sharp pricks of Buyo's claws when he kneaded at her legs when she pet him.
She smiled a little at the memory, staring down at her legs, and then she realized just how much of her legs she could see.
Well, actually how much of all of her she could see.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!" She snatched the blanket back, pulling the tender flesh of her back by moving so quickly and wrapped herself in it like a cocoon.
'What the hell what the hell what the HELL! How long have I been dressed like this?' She was horrified, looking around for a more permanent solution to her indecency issue before something else caught her attention. She felt him before she saw him, a mass of power racing towards her and then a white blur streaked into camp. Then he was in front of her, searching for the source of her distress.
Once he had scanned the area and found no threat he turned to her, his eyes still glowing with the prospect of battle. She thought she saw a ghost of the shock she saw on his face when protecting him from the Wind Scar, but it flashed only briefly before once again becoming his usual emotionless mask.
"Why did you scream, girl?" His voice was so icy it gave her chills, but she was so sick of being scared. She fought back the urge to try and gut him and instead growled out through gritted teeth.
"'Cause YOU ripped all my CLOTHES off when I tried to KILL you." She waited for his reaction but he merely returned her gaze with frigid indifference. "Nothing to say, Ice Prince? No, of course not. To answer me would be a waste of oxygen." She scoffed and crossed her arms, sulking. But she wasn't done yet. Words flowed forth and she was helpless to stop them.
"I didn't ask for this you know," she continued. "I don't wanna be a fuckin' demon container. I'm a person, not Tupperware. I was supposed to be with Inuyasha and Sango and Shippo and Miroku. I was supposed to be with my friends, celebrating our GREATEST victory ever, WITHOUT your stinkin' help I might add. I wanna be with them. I wanna be Kagome, the miko, not this half miko half pure evil bullshit. And now I'm stuck here with you, the most audacious, stubborn, IRRITATING youkai to ever LIVE. And you LEFT me here free to go on a killing spree if I woke up as WHATEVER the hell my alter ego is, you DICK." The same voice she'd been hearing for days chuckled low and sinister in the back of her mind, raising goose bumps on her arms.
Her eyes grew huge as she realized what she had said out loud and looked up at the demon before her. His facial expression had not changed. He held her in place with a burning gaze before reaching into his hakima. She was sure it was going to be the end this time, convinced there was no way he would let her live after that. She did not cower this time, so she saw the flicker of something in his face when he pulled out a black kimono and tossed it to the ground beside her. She gaped at him, not sure if it was because of the random act of kindness or if she thought she just saw him smile, if only a little bit. He turned and began to walk away.
"Wa…WAIT! What…Why?" She stammered, moving forward as if to catch him. The blanket slipped off her scarred shoulder and exposed bare skin. He turned, his face a mask, examining the fine pink scar on her shoulder before returning to her face.
"Because, human, your body repulses me." With that, he continued to walk away. "Cover yourself and catch up. Or this Sesshomaru will leave you."
She gaped after him, open mouthed and unable to speak. Finally composing herself, she grabbed the kimono and tossed the blanket aside. Fuming, she shook out the black cloth and gasped.
Delicate dark green flowers growing from golden stalks adorned the hem at the bottom, growing a lighter shade of green as they reached upwards, stopping just below where she would tie the golden obi. She traced the swirling patterns woven into the obi before shrugged into the silky fabric. Her sleeves were tighter than a normal kimono's but the green hems still flowed in the breeze. Slits ran up either side to high on her thighs, and the material ended just below her knees. Black socks reaching up to the middle of her thighs completed the outfit.
'So much for Sesshomaru being traditional…' She tied the obi tightly, slipped on boots very similar to the youkai lords and walked over to the pool of water. 'Ugh, what I wouldn't give for a hot bath right now.'
She kneeled by the water, about to wash her face when the woman looking back at her stopped her dead in her tracks. She was skeletally thin and haggard, and her stomach growled as if reminded that it had not eaten in weeks. But beyond looking enormous in comparison with her gaunt face, her eyes were black.
'That's what Sesshomaru must have been so surprised about.' She leaned closer, about to splash water on her face when she realized they were not black, but midnight blue. She stared for a moment, then dunked her entire head under the water, scrubbing at her scalp with her nails to try and remove some of the caked on dirt and grime. She stood and wrung her hair out and flipped it back, feeling a little better, then marched after Sesshomaru's aura.
It took her a while to catch up to him, mostly because she refused to jog to make up the distance and he refused to stop and wait. When she finally caught him she walked up next to him and opened her mouth as if to speak, and then shut it again. She stared at the ground, her cheeks turning a little red.
"Thanks." She muttered finally, refusing to look at him and instead focused down at greenery between her feet with a newfound fascination brought on by her incredible eyesight.
"Hn," was his only response.
"I've never seen anything like this. Why this and not a miko uniform?" He looked down at her with what could almost be considered a sneer for Sesshomaru.
"Why would I give the garb of a miko to one who is not a miko?" She looked hurt, the darkness in her aura spiking dramatically. Her next words came out quieter with a hint of hurt she failed to hide.
"Well then what is it?"
"The clothing a warrior demoness." She gaped at him incredulously.
"THIS is battle wear? Why is there no armor?! And I'm not a…" The look he gave her froze her words in her mouth and he growled low in his chest.
"You have not earned armor, girl." He snarled, his eyes molten gold and angry. She suddenly felt transparent as glass under his gaze, like he could see into her. Chills ran up her spine at his intensity, but she couldn't force herself to look away.
She drank in every inch of his face with a new appreciation of his perfection that her improved eyesight allowed. Seeing him like this gave him a new level of depth, his eyes radiating fuming golden fires rather than glacial ice of indifference. His jaw clenched ever so slightly, and his lip curled back in micro-expression of a snarl exposing a flash of a glistening white fang. She realized she was still gaping, and tore her eyes away from him. She was suddenly overwhelmed with the desire to quench the anger in his eyes.
"Well, how do I earn it?" She asked softly, her voice barely above a whisper. He was still glaring at her, but his eyes softened considerably.
"Before I answer you that, you must answer a question for this Sesshomaru." She froze for a second, completely taken aback.
"Um, yeah okay. Shoot." His brow furrowed ever so slightly in confusion.
"What do you presume I shoot, girl?" She sighed, forgetting to watch the way she spoke.
"No, I mean ask what you want." He looked at her skeptically, or what she interpreted as skepticism from the slight narrowing of his eyes, but he dropped the subject.
"Why did you demand I accompany you on this trip? The hanyo wanted so desperately to protect you." She heaved a huge sigh.
"I would have killed him. I couldn't stand that. You are the only one with enough power to control me, just like Totosai said." Something flashed through his eyes, but it was too quick for her to read.
"But you did not want me to come, you asked me to leave once the hanyo had gone before you lost consciousness." He pushed, probing her for a deeper explanation.
"I didn't want you to feel forced into it." She paused, her eyes on the ground, "but I did want you to come with me." He looked over at her, trying to hide his surprise.
"Why?" She had a far-away look, her eyes unfocused and sad.
"Inuyasha couldn't have helped me. He was always there for me and always protecting me, but only in a physical sense. I loved him for so long, and he used me and then left me for Kikyo. But I couldn't hate him for that. She was his love, and he was my best friend. I just wanted to see him happy. But he was never very good at anything with any sort of emotional association. He had no control. And I…" she paused, still staring at the ground, "…there was too much history… too much for this thing to use against him. I could not have maintained control. Not with him around. It uses the worst parts of me. My darkest thoughts… my deepest secrets…things I don't want to ever have to relive or see again. It uses them all to psychologically beat me into forfeiting my body just to make it stop."
"But you…" She stopped walking, waiting for him to turn to face her. His eyes met hers, guarded and serious, like he was preparing for her to insult him.
"You and I have no history. No past for it to use against you. Our only encounters have been when you've tried to kill Inuyasha. It doesn't want to kill you. It wants to play with you. Because of the complicated nature of my relationships with my friends, it's easy, and especially in Inuyasha's case, to twist memories into cruel fictions that make me lose my grip on reality. But with you I felt nothing but fear and anger, which are not nearly as powerful as love. And you are a master of control. If anyone could help me learn the art it would be you. And…" She broke off and looked away as a wave of darkness washed over the pure crackle of her power. "Nevermind."
He grabbed her arm as she started to move past him, knowing if he pushed her much more she would revert back to the monster.
"And what, girl?" She looked up at him defiantly, stiffening at his touch, but she soon deflated, her exhausted eyes held nothing but sadness. He could feel her aura darkening slowly with the pain of her realizations.
"When Totosai was explaining this was my destiny, that everyone know I'd go ballistic and kill everyone. You grounded me. I don't know what you did, but I was losing it. There were voices and growling and maniacal laughter roaring in my head. Images of cutting down Inuyasha and Miroku bleeding and my heart felt like it was in my stomach, and then there was you. Standing there glaring at me like you wanted to rip my fucking head off with that look that said 'don't you dare, Kagome. Don't you fucking dare lose it.' And then I just focused on you, on your eyes. It was like you were pulling me back. And it's ridiculous I know, but in that moment, I had this overwhelming feeling that if I stayed with you, I would make it through this. I felt like if I stayed with you, we could make this right."
Sesshomaru's eyes grew wide as she spoke, and when she finished she looked up at him judging his reaction. A pang when through him when he saw the apprehension in her face, but he was shocked into silence.
'Could she think I was planning to leave her alone?'
She looked so frail and scared looking up at him, waiting for his response to her heart being poured out on the table for him to examine and criticize. Her huge dark blue eyes looked like the ocean on a stormy day, filled with growing worry, and her intense emotional turmoil was breaking through her remarkable control.
She was looking more and more wounded as his silence lengthened, and her aura spiked with the suffocating malevolence of the darkness her body contained. Her eyes were deepening into those terrible voids of black when suddenly he found his body moving as he closed the space between them with a tentative stride forward. His hands found her shoulders as he bent down, gently touching his forehead to hers, staring into her huge eyes.
"Don't you dare," he whispered. "Don't you dare lose yourself." His warmth and his smell were intoxicating. His eyes were ablaze, his aura washing over her in calming waves. As the darkness receded, her aura came bubbling up from within her to meet his power, crackling over his skin.
"Control yourself, seal this, and survive. That is how you earn your armor." There was a heartbeat of silence between the two, and then as suddenly as it came, the moment was over. His eyes were instantly hard and icy as he scooped her roughly under one arm and took off towards the north east.
She almost forgot how to breathe between the sudden acceleration and the youkai's emotional whiplash, but one question permeated through the chaos that was her mind.
'Did…did he just nuzzle me?'
