Chapter 9
Hours before Dib woke up Zim just arrived at his lair in the cul-de-sac. Not in any shape to stage a final attack on Dib he just decided shameful to report his failure to the Tallest. But it wasn't a total failure he almost took over the city and almost killed the Dib human. Never the less it was a failure and the Tallest were sure to hang him by his squegallyspoosh. As the pod door opened there stood Gir welcoming his master with a strong salute.
"Sir how did the battle go sir!" said Gir in his "Duty Mode" red eyes. Zim merely looked at him and said. "It went well Gir but I would've been a lot better if the Dib human was dead and not injured."
Gir's eyes changed from red to blue and started to applaud his master with a horrible dance in the process. "YAY, master YAY you won you finally won, it's time for TACOS!!!" just then a taco popped out of his head dripping with hot sauce and it smelled like it was about a few months old. With one motion Gir smashed it on his face getting none of it in his mouth. Then he smiled at Zim with all of the meat dripping from his face.
"Would you like to have some sir?" Gir said as he took some off his face and held it toward Zim.
"No Gir I need to have an hour in the Recovery room." Zim turned away from Gir and walked down to the recovery room as the thoughts of the battle still raged in his mind.
Questions upon questions entered his mind, each one getting him more and angry. Why didn't he finish off the Dib human when he had the chance he was right there in front of him like a gift from the Tallest. Why does he almost succeed in his tasks and endeavors only to have them foil in some stupid way. Why don't the Tallest send him more equipment to aid him. The Tallest have sent Invader Skuch six Mega-Doomers and upgraded his S.I.R unit. Well they clearly needed to help Skuch he barely became an invader he couldn't conquer a bag of chips. But a Mega-Doomer or an upgrade for Gir would make his plans finally succeed.
There was time for these questions to be answered at a later time he needed to rest in a few hours he'll call the Tallest and tell them that he failed again and need more equipment. He is going to be the laughing stock of the entire Irkin Empire, the only invader besides Invader Blorp who has yet to conquer his planet.
As Zim entered the recovery pod it filled up with healing fluid and Zim drifted off to a deep meditation. After a few hours of dreamless sleep Zim awoke from his meditation feeling a lot better and fully healed. He pressed the drain button and removed the respirator and stepped out of the tank.
Gir standing there with a stupid smile on his face handed his master a towel to dry himself off. Zim said nothing to Gir and walked down to the main control room to relay his message to the Almighty Tallest. Zim sat down on his computer and turned to Gir.
"Gir go recharge to V.O.O.T cruiser and after that you can watch television I guess and try listen about the developments about the moose invasion." Gir went to "Duty Mode" saluted Zim and went upstairs singing something about a dog named Bingo.
"B-I-N-G-O and Bingo was his name-o YAY I just ate a dog and his name was Bingo…." Zim just shook his head and told his computer to prepare for a live message to the Massive's main computer. The large screen on his computer started flickering waiting for the Tallest to accept his transmission. After a few moments the screen turned to reveal the annoyed faces of his leaders The Almighty Tallest, Zim quickly saluted them.
"What is it now Zim, we were just finishing up this bag of doughnuts and Red just got a new bag of jelly filled bear claws when you decided to interrupt us." Purple looked very angry and held up the new bag to show Zim. "I love jelly filled doughnuts Zim!" Red said all melancholy and purple said. "He loves jelly filled doughnuts Zim."
"I know sirs, forgive me of my foolishness but I just wanted to report of my latest plan." They both looked at each other and sighed sat back in their seats and tried to look interested. "Proceed Invader Zim tell us about your ingenious moose plan and tell us when we can proceed with Operation Impending Doom 2, remember we are all depending on you your fierceness in battle is only matched my your brilliance." Purple looked at Red and started to snicker.
Zim was full of regret and disappointment for failing his Tallest and not taking over the planet AGAIN. "Unfortunately my tallest I had yet another run in with the human known as Dib, I had the city running in fear everything was finally coming to fruition when that dirt monkey Dib ruined everything." Zim continued to tell the story of the street brawl all the while Red and Purple holding back a slew of laughter. What else should the Tallest do all Zim is to them is a joke, a failed invader. Now Zim was one of the highest decorated most promising invaders in the Irkin Elite, second only to Invader Tak. Unfortunately Zim has a problem with bloodlust and has no common sense, an idiot when it comes to adapting to foreign colonies, and how to overcome simple problems like a single human named Dib. It was not necessarily a bad thing he is a genius when it comes to technology and quick thinking. Impending Doom 1 was the first mass invasion that the Irkin Empire has ever done, but it can to a catastrophic failure when Zim started destroying his own troops. As Zim's punishment he was banished forever to Planet Foodcourtia to be a fry-cook. But he returned to join up for Impending Doom 2 and the rest is history.
Finally Zim came to the conclusion of his tirade of why he lost again. To be honest the Tallest were getting tired of Zim even though he gave them the occasional laugh but, he was still a nuisance they wanted him to go away.
"So my Tallest my plans were again foiled by the accursed Dib human." Zim simply sat there in his chair waiting for the tallest to respond. Hoping that they will give him leniency and understand that it wasn't his fault. The Tallest sat there and turned to each other and looked back at Zim with very stern looks on their faces. "Invader Zim we need to delegate with one another for a moment stand by." Then the image went black with a stand by message on it.
As the image went out on the Almighty Tallest side they began to laugh uncontrollably as did everyone in the room. Then a small Irkin entered the main control room of the Massive with a large piece of paper. "Sirs, you need to look at this it's very important!" he ran over to the Almighty Tallest and handed them the paper.
"What is this Gem there are a lot of numbers on it" Red said, the little Irkin began to feverishly sweat with the truth behind the paper. "I-I-I-I-Ts a bill S-S-S-Sir's it's from the long distance calls without call collect." The look on the Tallest changed from sheer glee from Zim's idiocy to pure anger and rage from the amount on the bill. "6 BILLION MONEYS!, WHAT THE HELL, HOW DID THIS HAPPEN!" Purple and Red threw down the bill and Red grabbed Gem and tossed him across the room. As soon as Gem got up from the ground Red grabbed him again by the throat. "Where do the calls originate you have a nanosecond to answer." Red lifted Gem up to his face and grabbed one of his antennae and snapped it off.
"AAAGGHHH!!!!" pain in its purest form filled poor Gem's body. Before Red decided to rip the other one off a hand landed on his shoulder, it was Purple.
"Relax Red there is no need to harm this lowly servant he did nothing wrong." Red dropped Gem and knelt down beside him looked him straight in the eye and repeated his order. "Where did the call originate from?" Gem still writing in pain managed to answer his masters.
"I-I-Invader Z-Z-Zim S-S-Sirs from Earth." The news of this rang in the Tallest minds like a bell of pain. Yet another reason for the Tallest to hate Zim but now it's costing them money to have this failure call them on a daily basis. At a moment's action both Red and Purple turned to the giant view screen and ran back to sit down in their thrones.
"PUT THAT FAILIURE ON THE SCREEN NOW!!!" they screamed in unison. With a flicker the main view screen turned on revealing Zim with Gir draped over his head screaming that he wants tacos. "Master Master I want my tacos I NEEEED them AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Zim took Gir off him and tossed him out of sight. Then Zim saluted the Almighty Tallest and prepared for their answer. The Tallest themselves were so furious that they were shaking.
"Enough with the salute Zim this charade has gone on for long enough." Purple said slamming his fist on the armrest of his chair. "What charade sir's I don't understand." Blissfully unaware of what is coming next.
"You are not an INVADER ZIM you haven't been one since your colossal failure on Impending Doom 1, there was a reason why went sent you to Foodcourtia Zim so that you stay there and out of our hair." Red began the long tangent he has been holding back for years. "But of course you came back and still couldn't figure out that your S.I.R unit that we gave you was a piece of garbage hoping that it will explode on your way out of here." Zim couldn't believe what he was hearing he wasn't an Invader his mission was a way to keep him away. "But when you called us Earth or whatever the name of that mud-ball you landed on we thought that we can have a little fun and listen to your failure upon failure. Of course this joke has gone far enough now that we got the bill for your calls and WHY DIDENT YOU USE CALL COLLECT WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU, oh wait you're an idiot that's it." Purple threw the bill on the floor and blasted it with his gun.
"So Zim here we are again you making us mad and causing untold havoc. Now this time we have a solution, never ever call us again you're a failure and an idiot go away and if all possible die." Then the screen went blank leaving Zim with his mouth wide open.
Over the next few minutes all Zim did was just kept staring at the screen that was blank. He couldn't believe what just transpired he's not an Invader his mission was all a joke to the Tallest his whole purpose was a lie. With all this information flooding his mind all Zim could do is just go on a temper tantrum by destroying everything in the room. The computer was the first thing to go blasted it with a full powered blast from his P.A.K then to everything else.
"I'M NOT A JOKE I'M AN INVADER!!!!!!!!!!!!" Zim kept screaming this over and over for what seemed like hours. After the tantrum all that was left was an utterly defeated Zim. What was he going to do he had no mission no purpose to stay on this planet and take it over. He pandered this over for a few minutes, killing himself was out of the question he was still an Irkin. His life was over now there is nothing left for him he couldn't go back to Irk and he can't stay on Earth. What was he going to do, and then he decided to go on exile and just live out in deep space. All that he needed to do is go to the Dib human and admit his defeat and just leave the planet. First he needed a peace offering to show that he's serious.
