Chapter 9 - How are you feeling?
The afternoon was marked by an exceptionally difficult goodbye for Sharon.
Her goodbyes with Emily and Ricky had always been hard and somewhat tearful, but parting with her parents had been even more so. Not surprising, since Emily and Ricky could always hop on a flight for a visit, work-permitting, of course, whereas traveling took a lot out of her parents even if they would always stubbornly deny it, and Sharon doubted they would ever make the trip to LA again.
It had also been entirely too long since the last time she had wrapped her arms around them or heard her dad call her 'Sharry' (which he only ever did in person) or had her mom push her buttons to rile her up. She hadn't even been aware of how much she'd missed those little things until she got them back for a few days. So naturally, she would only reluctantly give them up again.
Sharon had already turned into an emotional wreck when, while saying his goodbyes at the condo, her father had playfully warned Andy, "Don't make us regret leaving our little girl in your hands, son."
But when at the airport her father hugged her, mumbling into her ear, "Don't make us wait this long again, Sharry. We won't be around forever," she was ready to burst into desperate tears. She scolded her own children over their irregular visits whenever she got the chance, and yet she was the child that hadn't seen her parents in nearly two years.
Her mother's goodbye wasn't any easier either. "You visit us soon, Sharon. We can only wait so long," she had told her over a tight hug.
Neither one of them were scolding her, they were merely reminding her of how precious time was, but that didn't stop her from feeling guilty. It was probably a morbid way of thinking, but, as her parents approached 90 faster than any of them really wanted to admit, she couldn't help but wonder how many chances of seeing them like this were left for her.
So, after exchanging her final I love yous and Have a safe trips and finally making it back to the condo, of course she felt rather drained emotionally. She was even secretly glad that Rusty was out with Gus, having only been home long enough to see his siblings and grandparents off, and planned on staying at his place for the night.
That meant that the only one home at the moment was Andy. She knew, whether he noticed her mood or not (although chances were that he would), he would give her space to collect herself first. The knowledge alone that he would not hover over her made her feel just a little bit better. And for that she was already grateful.
...
He had expected it. The low that comes after every high. So when he saw her entering the condo and leaning against the door first, briefly taking a deep cleansing breath, before doing anything else, he wasn't surprised. Of course she would feel down for a bit.
They had a quiet dinner, with little to no conversation. He didn't force it on her either. They'd have plenty of time to talk once she figured out what she wanted to say. He insisted on clearing the table afterwards, all but shooing her out of the kitchen.
"Go," he had told her, waving a hand in the direction of the living room. "Brood over there, please," he had instructed her playfully.
When she had finally relented and dropped a kiss to his cheek before leaving the kitchen, he knew the gesture was her silent thank you, for both recognizing her state of mind and for dealing with it the way she wanted to. Because honestly, if it had been anyone else he would have been all over her, catering to her every need until she felt better. Only with Sharon, especially after the shooting, he had learned that that was simply the wrong approach. So even though it went against all his instincts (of which she was also very well aware), he let her be. For a while.
But when they finally retreated to their bedroom and settled into their bed he decided a 'while' had lasted long enough.
...
"Come here," Andy told her, reaching for her as she lay on her side, her back facing him.
She willingly scooted closer to him and let him wrap his arm around her, resting his hand on her stomach. He tucked his nose into her hair and asked, on a whisper even though there was no one there to overhear, "How are you feeling?"
She sighed and covered his hand with hers. "I miss them already," she told him, gliding her fingers over the top of his hand now.
He propped his head on an elbow, leaving his other hand in place, "Believe it or not, I do, too."
That had her roll over on her back. She turned her head slightly to look at him. "Really?" her voice went up with the doubt in it.
"Don't sound so surprised," he offered her a crooked smile. "They only just left and you're already depressed," he shrugged, "of course, I'd miss them."
She smiled, and he gave himself a mental pat on the back for a mission accomplished. "Yeah, that right there," he tilted his head slightly, indicating her smile, "there's more of that when they're around."
She slapped his hand that was still on her stomach, although as it so often happened the gesture resembled more a pat than an actual slap, and shook her head at him. He was well aware of the gibberish he was spewing at the moment and, since she was even more aware of the reason why he was doing so, she finally said, "It just got me thinking."
She went quiet for a few moments then, obviously looking for the right words to say, so he stayed quiet, too, patiently waiting for her to go on.
"I don't see them often enough," she told him at last.
"Your parents?" Andy guessed.
"Mhm," she hummed regretfully.
"Well, whose fault is that?" Andy asked her and he had to chuckle at the offended look she gave him.
"What's that supposed to mean?" she asked defensively.
"I'm just saying," he leaned down quickly to peck her cheek, "it's not like you can't see them more often."
"Seeing them on a screen isn't the same, Andy," she told him, her tone of voice telling him she was not in the mood for jokes.
"That's not what I meant," he shook his head at her. "You can visit them, Sharon." He quirked an eyebrow at her. "There's this little thing called vacation days."
She scoffed. "I can't just up and leave, take a few days off," she waved a hand through the air, "and ignore work."
Andy looked at her seriously. "Why not?" he asked, lifting his hand briefly in askance, too.
"Because," she started rather forcefully. "Because," she repeated, then promptly shut her mouth and narrowed her eyes at him. "Is this what you've been cooking up while I was, what did you call it, brooding?"
He nodded, grinning now. "But seriously, Sharon, give me one good reason why you can't just take a vacation, like normal people do?"
"Provenza," she said instantly, a smirk on her face.
"We were just fine before you took over, Captain, thank you very much," he told her teasingly. Before she could argue, he added, "Look, I know how, with you taking Rusty in, actual vacation would have been more of a pain than a pleasure. Then the letters happened, then Stroh escaped. Hell," he suddenly raised his voice, "even I had that damn blood clot! And then the shooting happened and then," he paused, looking away for a moment, "I had a heart attack." She offered him an understanding smile. "But is there something keeping you stuck at work now? Really?"
She sighed. "No," she admitted.
"Exactly," he punctuated the word with a kiss, to her lips this time.
"You know," her voice turned reminiscent now, "I don't really recall ever having a proper vacation." She turned on her side to prop herself on an elbow like he had, making sure to settle his hand on her side. "Didn't have much time for one either. Not between two kids, my job," she gave him a knowing look, "my ambition, and," she paused, a sad shadow crossing her features, "little to no Jack around."
"You did take Christmases off?" he asked, remembering her enthusiasm about visiting her parents from a few years ago.
"Whenever I could," she confirmed. "But then I started butting heads with your division," she gave him an amused smile, "and then I took over..."
He chuckled. "Sorry about that," he told her and meant it. "So you never took a summer vacation? You know, travel?" he asked, tapping his fingers lightly over her side.
"With two kids, a legal separation and debt up to my eyes?" she scoffed, but then actually answered his question. "I did travel across country a few times, but that was so long ago I barely remember any of it."
"You know," he told her, sounding reminiscent himself now, regretful even, as he looked down at his hand, "when I first got sober, I buried myself in work. When everything so spectacularly blew up in my face, working, in the beginning, was easier than dealing with anything else."
She offered him a sympathetic smile, and, understanding where he was going with this, said, "Work certainly was much more comfortable than having to face my separation or any other problems at the time." She took a moment to decide on her next words, "I didn't run away from them, mind you, and Emily and Ricky are my world," she told him proudly, "but work was sometimes a welcome reprieve from all the noise," she admitted on a guilty smile.
He nodded, agreeing. "Controlling things there was easier, too," he added.
She agreed but let out a bitter laugh, "Funny though, how, in the end, it was much more satisfying resolving all those problems I sometimes tried to distract myself from, than those at work." She gave him a pointed look. "And I really love work."
He chuckled. "Don't forget the rules," he teased, "and don't get me started on laws," he added. When her laughter abated, he went on, more seriously now, "So, with Rusty more or less settled, work quiet, too, now," mentioning Taylor's still not permanently filled position wasn't necessary, since there was little to nothing they could do about that at the moment, "is there anything you need work to distract you from?" he asked.
When she stayed quiet for a moment, just watching him, he squeezed her side and added, "I don't plan on having another heart attack either." He considered the smile his words elicited from her another small accomplishment.
"You know, Emily accused me of having loosened up," Sharon suddenly told him, throwing him completely off course.
He gave her a puzzled look, but guessing that she was probably going somewhere with it, he prodded, "She did?"
"Mhm," she hummed, "and I think she's right," she admitted. There was mirth in her gaze as she looked at him.
"And is that a good or bad thing?" he asked, reaching out for her hand and wrapping his fingers around it.
She squeezed his hand and looked at it for a moment before looking up again. When she did, there was a bit of mischief in the look. "Well, you certainly are a better distraction than work," she told him, smiling now. "So, I think," she paused a moment, for effect probably, because she only continued when he raised a slightly impatient eyebrow at her, "that that's an excellent thing." She leaned closer to him and pecked him on the lips.
He laughed and shook his head at her in amusement. "Does that mean work isn't as important as it used to be?" he asked, sounding hopeful now.
She narrowed her eyes at him, "What we do will always be important," she told him unnecessarily, because of course, he thought the same. "Are you trying to talk me into retirement?" she then asked, warning in her voice as she did so.
His eyes widened, "What?" he asked defensively. "God, no!" he exclaimed. "I'm not even letting a heart attack force me into retirement," he told her on an amused note, "and I sure as hell wouldn't retire willingly." He pinned her with a look of disbelief, "You think I'd be crazy enough to suggest it to you?"
She laughed then. "Well, I had to ask, because I know you," she gave him a pointed look and let go of his hand to point a finger at him, "and you are up to something."
He grinned at that, and grabbed her hand, "Well," he quirked an eyebrow, pressing a kiss to her finger, "maybe I am," he told her cryptically.
She pulled her hand back and pinned him with an intrigued look. "And would you care to let me in on it?" she asked.
"Well," he shrugged, "that depends."
She frowned. "On what?"
"On what your answer to my question is," he told her smugly.
Her frown only deepened, "Your ques-" she started before realizing what he was referring to. She grabbed ahold of his hand again. "No, I don't need work to distract me, anymore," she told him seriously, focused on his hand. "So maybe work isn't as important as it used to be either," she admitted, looking at him now. "Even if the work itself will always be," she added.
He smiled and nodded, completely understanding what she meant, happy that she agreed with him, too. "Well, in that case," this time he pulled his hand back, and turned quickly to reach for his phone, "I have something for you," he told her, busy searching for that 'something' on his phone.
When he found it, he scooted closer to her, but sat up against the headboard. When she did the same, he looked at her, "Need your glasses?" he asked.
She gave him a bland look. "Nearsighted, Andy," she told him curtly.
He chuckled. "Then take a look at this," he told her, handing over his phone.
She scrolled down the file he had pulled up for her, several times, before looking at him. "Andy," she let out feebly.
"Yes?" he asked, smiling broadly.
She dropped the phone onto the sheets and grabbed his face to kiss him. When they pulled apart, he told her, "It's not your parents." He shrugged apologetically, even though he was still smiling slightly.
"It's perfect," she told him, giving him another kiss.
"There's more," he told her, smirking now.
She just stared at him, her question etched in her face. "Ricky'll be there, too," he told her, grinning.
Her eyes widened. "How?"
"He loves you very much," Andy told her.
She rolled her eyes. "And?" she urged him on.
"And," Andy repeated pointedly, "he came up with a couple of extra days off." He shrugged then, "I don't think he'll get much sleep though, but he was more than happy to give some of it up for you."
She shook her head at him. "What about work?" she asked.
"I like to think I have an in with my boss," he told her, raising an eyebrow meaningfully before kissing her. "As for my boss," he gave her a conspiratorial look, "I know for a fact she's got a butt-load of vacation days at her disposal."
She snorted at his choice of words, then gave him a far-away look. "We're going to New York," she said.
He smiled, nodding. "But I'm not waiting for the ball to drop in the middle of Times Square," he warned her with the wave of a finger.
She laughed, "Oh, gosh, no." She shook her head. "I can wait for the New Year from the comfort of a bed if need be, trust me."
He laughed, too. "Well, I wouldn't go that far," he gave her a wicked grin, "not that I would mind," when her lips curved upward at the innuendo, he continued, "but Emily and Ricky will probably have other ideas."
She then gave him a questioning look. "Such as?"
He shrugged, "Apparently, that's a surprise, too."
His choice of words made her give him a funny look, but she decided to just ask, "Where are we staying?" next. Emily's place was even smaller than the condo, so that wasn't an option.
"Hotel. The kids' treat." Andy quipped. "Rusty's, too," he added, smiling widely when her face lit up at the information.
"Is he coming, too?" she asked.
"Well, no," he told her. "Plans with Gus, remember?"
"Right," she sounded slightly disappointed though.
"Can't be perfect," he shrugged.
"I love you," she suddenly told him, wrapping her arms around his neck. "Thank you," she told him before kissing him. "It is perfect," she assured him when she pulled away.
"Oh," he laughed, "don't thank me." He raised an eyebrow. "I love you, too, but this surprise isn't from me," he told her. "It was a surprise for me, too," he added.
"What do you mean?" she asked, pulling away a bit more, but leaving her hands wrapped loosely around his neck.
"It was all their idea," he shrugged, "I only had to talk you into it," he explained.
They had sprung the news on him earlier that day, while Sharon was helping her parents pack up in Rusty's room. In quick, hushed voices they let him in on their plan, or at least the parts of it he needed to know about. They knew how difficult it could be to get their mother away from work, especially this unexpectedly, so even though it was all a surprise for Andy as well, they had given him enough details about it, so he could use them in his deliberations with Sharon.
"Conspiring against me," she accused, but laughed mirthfully.
"For you," Andy corrected, dropping a quick kiss to her lips.
She sat back against the headboard again, but sought out his hand. When she entwined their fingers together she said, "They like you," speaking of Ricky and Emily.
"I like them," he told her honestly.
She hummed contentedly, leaning her head against his shoulder. "I'll put in for vacation tomorrow then," she finally said.
"Good," he told her, turning his head to press a kiss to her hair. "Provenza's gonna love being in charge for a few days," he said on a chuckle.
"I'll pay for it in paperwork, I'm sure," Sharon said sarcastically.
"Probably," Andy confirmed, laughing now.
"I don't like leaving the division short two members though," she said after a moment.
"We've got Nolan now, so, technically, they'll only be short one," he waved her off.
"Hmm," she didn't sound convinced. "Okay," she finally decided. "You did manage without me before," she added on a mischievous smile.
"We sure did," Andy agreed proudly.
"Barely," she added smugly, but he only scoffed.
He shrugged his shoulder after a moment of silence, nudging her to lift her head. When she did, he lay down again, on his back this time. "Join me?" he asked when she just remained seated, watching him.
"Of course," she said, leaning down to kiss him, before lying down as well, snuggling into him by resting her head on his shoulder and sneaking a leg between his as she all but wrapped herself around him.
"You know," Andy started once she had settled herself and he was able to wrap an arm around her, too, "don't know about the date, but as for the location of the wedding, I wouldn't mind figuring something out so your parents can be there."
"I know," she told him, because she did. It really was something Andy, of course, would suggest. "They can't make the trip though. I'll insist on our kids attending though," she said, and he could feel her smile even if he couldn't see it. "And since I expect the team there, too, it's only logical we get married here," she added.
"Our kids, huh?" Andy asked.
"Huh?" she asked, lifting her head to look at him. She considered his question for a moment, and when she finally processed it, she shrugged. "Yes, our kids," she confirmed.
He lifted his head slightly to reach her lips. "Our kids," he repeated, confirming it as well, before closing the small gap to kiss her.
"Maybe a honeymoon with them then?" Andy asked when they pulled apart.
Her eyebrows shot up in disbelief. "With my parents?" she asked, astonished.
He laughed, "Well not with them," he clarified. "How about close enough to them so we can pay them a visit though?" He grinned before adding, "Put those vacation days of yours to good use then."
She shook her head, and resettled it on his shoulder again. "I like that idea," she admitted.
"Then it's settled," he told her.
"Okay," she agreed, humming contentedly again.
"Feeling any better now?" he asked after a moment.
"Much better," she replied, tightening her hold on him briefly.
"Good," he said, kissing the top of her head. "Now go to sleep." He sighed. "We gotta get up for work tomorrow," he added on a groan.
Since they had worked on the previous two holidays, this year, their entire division got the 25th and 26th guaranteed off with Robbery/Homicide covering for them if something were to come up and, while he was grateful for the time off, he would have liked for it to have lasted longer, especially considering just how nice of a time off he ended up having.
She laughed, "Good night, Andy."
"Night, Sharon," he told her, closing his eyes.
He had almost drifted completely off, when her soft voice woke him, "Andy?"
"Huh?" was all he could manage as sleep still tried to pull him under.
"Merry Christmas," she whispered, and there was no mistaking the emotion she put into the words.
He smiled, and squeezed her more tightly to himself. "Merry Christmas, Sharon," he told her thickly, closing his eyes once more.
THE END/TBC?
I never intended to write a wedding chapter, so I apologize to those of you who wanted one, but I'd expect the wedding after it's a bit more carefully planned out (what with Sharon's sense of occasion and all) and that takes time, and since I don't wanna make any huge time jumps here, I think it's better to just leave it at this.
I did however, consider writing a bit about Andy's (and Sharon's) visit to Nicole, Dean and the boys, or maybe even about their visit to New York, I'm not sure though. I certainly have plenty of ideas but...
Do you want me to keep this going for a few more chapters? If not, this seems like a nice place to stop then. :)
Whatever you decide, thank you for reading this, I love your reviews and, as always, it was a pleasure entertaining you!
