Chapter 9: Here kitty, kitty…

"Raven? What's it like being a cat?"

"What?" Raven blinked and looked at her sister with an eyebrow arched. "As if I know."

"Well, you know, with you being able to read minds and all…" Dove shrugged jovially, a grin twitching at the ends of her mouth. "Cuz I was just thinking… you know how they say that you can't really know someone until you walk around with their shoes or whatever? What about something? You know, like animals."

Raven blinked, then she turned back to her book. "Ask Beast Boy."

Dove giggled. "Has he ever been a cat before?"

"His name is Beast Boy."

"Beast means cat?" Dove tilted her head.

Raven seemed too preoccupied to bother answering.

Dove shrugged, and she inched over on the couch until she was next to the green Titan. "Beast Boy?"

"Huh?" He looked up from the list of cheat codes he printed out earlier.

"What's it like being a cat?"

"It's… catty."

Dove giggled. "Ooh, you must feel so smart. But really!" She blinked excitedly.

"Uhh…" He inspected her pink-robed self, wondering if she was really serious. And even if she was, how do you answer something like that? And why did she choose cat, of all animals? Wouldn't a cheetah be so much cooler, or a rhino? Or a dinosaur? "Well it gets really furry… and it's cool… you can see in the dark and stuff…"

Dove's eyes brightened, and her smile widened. "Can you hear through walls?"

"If it's loud enough. The best part is, you can sneak around really quietly and hear everyone else, and no one can hear you." A mischievous smile emerged on his face.

Dove tilted her head, imagining… "No change there. No one ever hears me. Or Raven."

Beast Boy shrugged. "You're quiet."

Dove giggled. "And you're not. Maybe you should be a cat more often so no one can hear you," she joked energetically, flicking his ear playfully.

"Ow!"

"Sorry. So I guess your ears are sensitive anyways? Cat or not?"

He opened his mouth to reply, but before he had a chance to let out a single syllable, Raven tapped Dove on the shoulder.

She looked up, slightly startled, but then she met Raven's eyes and sensed exactly how serious she was, and the joviality gave way to a momentary confusion before she realized that she had loosened her grip again.

Raven waited a moment, making sure she had found neutrality, then she led her into the hall and began walking her to her room.

Dove shook her head. "I swear, Raven, I'm going mad…"

"Has this ever happened to you before?" Raven asked, as if she hadn't heard about Dove's threatened sanity.

Dove shook her head, trying to work out how it happened. "This is seriously the first time in my life. My robe's usually all white."

"So you have no idea what to do."

Dove shook her head again.

"What about when you were younger? What did you do to keep your emotions under control then?"

"Just go somewhere quiet and calm down," Dove shrugged. "Never anything fancy…"

"Quiet as in…?"

Dove held up a hand and gestured in mock indifference. "Not noisy, away from everything… away from everyone so the empathy doesn't bother me or distract me or send my emotions spiraling out of control… the usual."

"Maybe you should use that method from now on," Raven said, looking almost defeated. "Running isn't the best way to deal with it, but for now it's all we've got."


It seemed too dark to be noon. There were no shadows cast, no sunrays filtering through the windows, no warm breeze stirring up the city dust… the stillness was almost unnerving.

Dove tilted her head to the sky, her worried expression deepening at the heavy clouds looming there, threatening rain – and not the gentle kind.

Maybe I should've stuck to meditation –

The sudden tension of empathy broke her thoughts. She felt the tingling sensation run down her back, and she shivered. Then she shook herself out of it, though it left an odd anticipation, almost a feeling of emptiness…

Wondering what had caused the flare, she glanced around the corner –

A flash of pale orange darted through her view of the alley, fear struck her senses like a bolt of lightning, and she staggered back just in time to see the pigeons fluttering away, an orange tomcat sitting where the birds had been only a split second ago, with tail feathers under his paw but no bird attached.

Dove blinked at the scene, then she shook her head to clear the daze.

The cat was still watching the birds even in their escape, his tail twitching in frustration and scheming tension…

"So close," Dove mumbled, and she sighed; this was probably why Raven didn't want her to go into the city alone, sensing unfamiliar things too suddenly for her comfort… and it just wouldn't go away… She was still struggling to push away the empathy, her eyes closed in a weak attempt at concentration. Then the fog in her mind lifted, too suddenly – yet the uncomfortable tension lingered, only it was clearer now, more vivid…

She put a hand to her head and blinked at the cat curiously. Sensing the cat's mind working for a solution put her in an inquisitive mood. For those next few moments, all she felt was pure empathy, any and every thought of her own had left… and then…

Something within her mind seemed to take advantage of the near-emptiness and took hold.

It was rising again.

An unfamiliar line of thought arose, and she felt an odd desire, a lust, and she glanced around, the stiffness from the cat was really growing bothersome…

Boxes. Lots of boxes. And then a smile pricked the edge of her lips, an idea making its presence known.

She stepped to the edge of the alley behind her and picked one up, judging its size… it would work. Nodding, satisfied, she stepped around the corner stealthily, walked around it, and a flock of nearly a dozen pigeons met her eyes, picking grit and barely paying any attention to her. Good.

"Azarath Metrion Zinthos," she muttered, quiet and clear and focused. One of the birds looked up –

Then the whole flock scattered, obscuring the view in a flurry of slate-gray feathers for just a moment – and when they were gone, Dove let her smile widen just a bit.

Raven was right, this telekinesis stuff does have its uses.

She chuckled as she felt the anxiety shoot through her. The box was overturned on the pavement, and trapped beneath it was a pigeon fluttering against the cardboard sides in a frantic attempt to escape.

The fear through the empathy was causing such a stimulating rush of energy to jolt through her, she felt so exhilarated!

…but still the tension clung to her and simply wouldn't let her go.

Dove let out a noise of irritation. Keeping the box under her powers' control, she stepped hurriedly back to where the cat had been, and she found him padding towards her.

The moment he saw her, he froze and began to bound away, but Dove released a jolt of energy in his path, and he leapt high in surprise and bolted straight towards her.

She reached out and grabbed his waist and ran towards the trapped bird, suffering a few scratches on the way but unable to care, only able to think about the lingering tension in her soul that had to be broken. Fear just wouldn't cut it.

With all the carefulness and speed she had, Dove tilted the box upwards, tossed the cat in, and slammed three of the four flaps closed, holding the fourth open to satisfy a sudden morbid curiosity – she could simply create a wall of energy and watch through the jagged window.

The cat ran around the box once, twice, searching for a way out as the bird fluttered around madly –

Then Dove felt the fear break and the cat's ears pricked, the bird continued to panic, and the cast's nerves turned to a primal instinct, hunger of the hunter.

Finally the tension could break.

Dove smiled as the cat pounced, her robes darkened a few shades of red, and she began laughing as the cat attacked. The pain severed the ties of tension with clean cuts, forcing the annoyance away as the vivid and pure-energy senses of fear and pain brought sensation back, she found herself savoring the pain – it felt so good to be relieved of the numbness - !

The cat pinned its prey against the ground with one paw, the other swatted the pigeon as it tried to flutter away, desperately afraid, its other wing flapping madly.

Dove felt a dark triumph arise as she could sense the bird weakening, exhausted, hopeless… A feeling of power and victory swept through her as the bird finally ceased its wild wingbeats, and she threw back her head and laughed, a cruel, vicious, merciless laugh.

Lightning sliced through the clouds, and its companion wasn't far behind – a loud clap of thunder resounded through the sky, its voice thrice as deep between the walls of the alley.

And that single sound was all it took to trigger her fear.

Dove yelped sharply, involuntarily recoiling as the terror took hold and flared freely, erasing every other thought and emotion and sense of empathy inside her, and her robe snapped to a deep shadowy gray.

And that's when she realized exactly what she was doing.

A gasp of horror escaped, and she grabbed the cat with wide eyes, putting him to the ground in a jerky motion as the first few drops of rain splattered to the ground. Then Dove reached in and held the pigeon with shaking hands, barely understanding what was going on. A wave of pain swept through her the moment she touched him and her breath hitched in her throat. Pain, and such terrible fear and exhaustion… She shuddered, realizing that she had done this…

While the unpleasant sensation had lingered in her mind, all she could think about was getting rid of it… she didn't realize what it would do to him… but now… now she knew all too well… She let out a soft, choked note, half voicing the empathetic pain and half exhaling her remorse. Tears were welling in her eyes and she felt a sob escape her, and she bowed her head and closed her eyes; the guilt was heavy on her mind, heavy and almost completely foreign.

"I'm sorry…"

The light amount of rain doubled, tripled, and it wasn't long before it became a downpour. Thunder echoed again, somewhere in the distance, and Dove felt herself shiver. She opened her eyes and hesitated to look at the bird… but she lifted her eyes from the ground and saw its pain as much as felt it. There was blood, too much of it, but the rain was washing away what would mat his feathers, it was on her hands –

She felt her stomach churn, and she swallowed the dull feeling of nausea. Recognizing how hard the rain was falling, she brought her arms closer to her body and bent over him, sheltering him from the rain. A bit of courage, maybe even hope, came into her with that slight motion, and she forced herself to close her eyes and try to calm down, at least a little bit, please, please…

Dove blinked at him, and she closed her eyes, not wanting to be distracted by her squeamishness. He was definitely still alive, she could sense it, maybe, maybe she could help him… Desperately hoping it would work, she summoned the energies and shifted the bird to one hand, holding the other above his back and brought her mind to something she knew she was to inexperienced to do. But she had to try. She took a breath, hoping to stabilize her mind, and she chanted "Azarath Metrion Zinthos." She focused, tried to open a connection between them… the empathy of the pain deepened, and Dove felt herself wince. So it was going to hurt. Didn't she know that…? She shook her head and tried to steel herself, tried to open a connection again… it wouldn't come, she closed her eyes and tried to push harder… she felt the pull, just for a moment, and again the pain grew more vivid. But she grit her teeth and tightened her closed eyes, trying to pull the pain away, trying to help him…

It wasn't working. Dove let out a breath of resignation. "I can't," she whispered, as if he knew that she was trying to help him and couldn't. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry…" She shook her head, a deep helplessness taking hold of her mind, bringing with it a new tightness in her throat. She could sense that he was… almost resigned, like he had given up…

"Don't die, please," she pleaded, choking out the words and trying to organize her thoughts. She stood up, her mind racing for solutions. She couldn't heal him. She just couldn't.

But maybe… maybe Raven could.

That thought sent a jolt of new energy through her, and she looked to the sky and nearly shouted the incantation. Her desperation wouldn't allow her to focus and keep from wavering precariously as she took to the air, but the determination wouldn't let her stay on the ground and take the long way home. She shuddered as she found herself praying that she wouldn't find an odd desire to hurt him even more, but she shook her head and focused on gaining altitude and making it to the door without her powers failing her.

She was almost to the bay when a streak of lightning flared off to her right, and Dove bit her lip, wanting to close her eyes, but she couldn't lose sight and balance, she couldn't crash, but she knew –

Dove screamed and flinched as a terrifyingly loud thunderclap erupted, and she felt the static release of energy – a thick, white bolt of her powers manifesting themselves slashed through the air. Dove yelped, and she whimpered as she struggled for control over it, wrestling her emotions… It came back to her slowly but surely, and she managed to dull the terror to anxiety and reign the energies back in. But she still exerted a bit more force with the levitation and propelled herself faster, even knowing how dangerous it was, with all the emotions flaring inside her, she was just barely able to contain them; but she was far more worried about getting home than staying in control.

The skies let out another flare of light, and a muffled sound of thunder followed. Dove whimpered, feeling the fear mount again, biting her lip and feeling every part of her tense but begging herself not to give in to the fear, no, she had to get home… The closest she got to losing control was a small fizzling streak wrapping itself around her, but she forced that away and channeled the energy to her flight, she needed the extra energy, the rain was weighing down her clothes and plastering it to her skin…

By the time she stumbled into the tower shivering and dripping everywhere, she was swallowing sobs – there were probably tears on her face, but with the rain it was impossible to tell; she couldn't have felt them even if they were there.

Dove clutched the pigeon close as she ran through the halls, and she stroked his back with her fingers anxiously – he was fading… "No, no, please," she begged breathlessly, quickening her pace as swiftly as her near exhaustion would allow.

Raven wasn't in her room. Dove felt a new wave of frustration mounting – he was slipping, slipping…

"Please," she whimpered as she took off again, her legs barely willing to run anymore. She nearly collapsed when the doors to the living room opened, and she stayed by the threshold to catch her breath.

"Dove - ?" Raven began, but when she looked up, her mind veered onto another path.

"He's hurt," Dove whispered through her tears.

"That explains the empathy," Raven responded, setting her book on the couch and rising to meet her.

"I tried healing him, but I-I can't…" She bowed her head and inhaled shakily. "Raven - "

"I can help," Raven told Dove, reassurance in her words but not her tone; the empathy was so painful, her entire body felt stiff – she had to shift to total monotony to keep herself from giving in to the pain. "Dove, you need to calm down… and I can't heal him entirely… but I might not even be able to save him, do you understand that?"

Dove shook her head. "Please, try… I-I don't want to feel him dying…" She refused to tell Raven that the guilt would be as bad as the empathy…

Raven nodded. "I will."

Dove closed her eyes and handed Raven the bird. She swallowed, feeling how weak his heartbeat was against her palm…

Raven held her hands over him, each glowing with a white-blue energy as she began drawing his pain into herself. She closed her eyes, bracing herself against the pain. It hurt. It always hurt. But she could deal with it, the relief would come soon enough. She tensed, having to pull just a bit harder as she felt more injuries, under his wing, over his back, there was the faint ache of having at least three of his left wing feathers pulled out… but it was tolerable. Barely, but she could process it…

Finally the pain was gone. Raven tightened her eyes, forcing the pain away from herself, away from her soul…

Dove even shivered as the temperature in the room dropped.

Raven gasped softly as she opened her eyes, her breathing just a bit heavier than normal. "Azar, Dove… What happened…?"

"He was attacked by a cat," Dove replied softly, bowing her head and holding her eyes to the ground, desperately avoiding the specifics.

Raven was barely listening, remembered healing a dying dove in Azarath… the life-energy had been so similarly faint, but this one had been in so much more pain…

Dove sensed her distance and hesitated, She lifted her head, faintly wondering what – Her eyes met Raven's, and the pull of the contact opened her soul to Raven's. She was suddenly watching her sister's memory as if it was her own, her mind lost to Raven's feelings of the remembered scene…

"Raven, the bird is dying."

The Azarathean man knelt in front of young Raven, holding a pillow carefully in his hands, and on top of that cushion lay a white dove, wings limp at its sides.

"I know, Theron. I sensed its pain before you brought it to me." For the young empath, the pain had been hard to miss. Taking the bird in her hands, and under the watchful eye of her mentor, she began the process. "Its agonies flow into me, and into my soul…" And before long, she could sense the relief, "I feel it healing." She sent the pain from herself and watched as the bird flew away, light and effortless as a bird should be…

Entranced by the memory, Dove felt a call for her to go deeper, see more vividly exactly what –

She closed her eyes and shook her head, breaking the connection. The sensation had brought with it a sense of self-consciousness… What if Raven didn't want her to see that…? She didn't mean to… to… But no, Raven was still sifting the memory in her own mind, apparently she hadn't noticed Dove's accidental intrusion. Dove blinked and sighed, a little ashamed that she could barely heal the most basic pains… She couldn't help wondering how long it would take her to be able to learn to heal like that as she stepped over to the sink, lost in thought as she washed the blood off her hands.

If only she had watched a little longer, maybe she wouldn't have felt so ashamed...

"Is there no one I cannot cure?" Raven asked, still watching the bird as she directed the question to Azar.

"My dear Raven, there are only a very few you can whose pains and agonies are too great are beyond even your redeeming."

Raven blinked herself back to the present and found herself sensing… disappointment.

"Would you like to watch over him?" she asked Dove, her tone so subtly hinting at the desire to comfort her.

Dove blinked, hesitated. If she hurt him again, even not meaning to… "Well… yeah, I guess…"

Raven nodded, handing him to Dove. "He's still sore," she said.

Dove nodded in response, holding the pigeon with her hands cupped, the same way she held Sieara. He shifted in her hands, and she felt a weak smile emerge. At least he was okay…

Raven could still sense a slight unease within Dove… but she didn't dwell on the thought for too long; Dove had tendency to worry about something until a positive outcome was absolutely ensured. Then again, so much anxiety probably wouldn't help with her recent control issues…

"You shouldn't worry so much," she told her as they turned down the hall that led to Dove's room.

Dove shrugged. "I guess not…" She stroked the pigeon's back softly with her thumb, whispering a soft phrase of comfort and trying to send him warming thoughts as her door slid open.

Rain was pelting hard against the window, drowning out the sound of Sieara pecking at her food bowl. Dove glanced at the glass a bit nervously, hoping that the storm would end soon… She held the pigeon in her hands as gently as possible, and she brought out an extra food and water dish for the newcomer. Sieara wasn't very territorial, but it would be easier to avoid any conflict between the birds if she could just keep them apart… She let the pigeon step onto her bed, and she moved a couple of papers from the top shelf – she wasn't sure if he would roost next to Sieara or not, she wasn't very sure about how pigeons reacted to doves. But they were both at least semi-social by nature, so it can't be that bad…

Sieara fluttered down, landing on the side of the bed opposite of the pigeon. She tilted her head curiously, the intelligence gleaming in her eyes as she inspected him. She stepped towards him, and the pigeon crouched closer to the ground, almost as if prepared for flight. Sieara simply tilted her head the other way and stopped; this one seemed nervous… She stepped to him casually, and before he had a chance to flutter away, she nibbled her beak on his back and groomed him.

Dove smiled softly in spite of herself. "Good girl, Sieara…"

"I think he's going to be okay."

Dove turned questioningly, and Raven clarified. "I know you'll take good care of him."

Dove nodded her thanks, and her gratitude. She might not have trusted herself to take care of him… but it was reassuring to know that Raven believed she would…

Raven turned and left.

Dove sighed, watching as the pigeon still crouched, his breast to the bed. He was nervous.

Sieara groomed him all the more delicately. Then she simply sat next to him, watching the window.

Dove began wondering how long it would take the pigeon to adjust to the –

Her thoughts were cut short as the deafening sound of thunder crashed, not losing a bit of its intensity through the glass.

And Dove screamed.

Raven stopped where she was and wheeled, hearing the sound and knowing that Dove was in a vulnerable state –

She ran through the threshold before the door was fully open. Dove was on the floor shivering, huddled against the bed and gripping her hair, and Sieara had abandoned the pigeon to rest on her companion's shoulder.

Raven sighed, stepping over and glancing around the room – nothing seemed to be broken, yet, but Dove's fear was reaching a dangerous height…

Dove gulped as Raven sat next to her, and she shook her head. "The-the thunderstorm's not even here yet, and – and… Raven, i-it's going to be horrible…"

Raven' first thought was when Dove had first come to the tower. She had completely lost control when she was in her room and she heard the thunder, nearly destroying the room in the process. The only thing keeping Dove's energies from lashing out against anything was Raven's own sphere of energies. It seemed like they were coming to that point again.

Raven waved her hand and formed the semi-sphere around them – smaller than the first time, but still a necessary precaution. "Dove, you'll need to get over this eventually…"

Dove shuddered. "I-I can't," she said, her voice more like a gasp. "It's-it's just – Raven, it always reminds me about… about him…" She shuddered again, putting her head in her hands. She hadn't meant to say that, but it came out before she could help herself.

Raven blinked, wondering if Dove had just now figured that out, or if Dove's 'not knowing why' on that first day was just an unwillingness to tell Raven about herself… either way, it was understandable. And Dove actually seemed to have a slight control over her fear. She told Dove her observation.

"Don't get your hopes up," Dove said softly. She winced as another flash of lightning blanketed the room in its white light, and she whimpered as the thunder followed. She could feel the fear pulsing inside her, her control wasn't very far from the breaking point, and the only thing keeping her fear from running rampant was the sorrow dampening it.

Maybe she had been able to get him to Raven, and he was okay now… but… this was the second time she had completely lost control of her mind… and this time she actually enjoyed sensing his pain… the first time, the electric sensation had severed whatever ties that – that 'side' of her – she whimpered at the thought – had on her mind. But this time… if that thunder hadn't sounded…

Dove shuddered visibly. Raven, sensing every bit of Dove's fear, couldn't help wanting to help Dove, somehow… she knew she could, but… what good would it do anyone if she took away the emotions and Dove never learned to deal with them herself? "You really need to find some way to keep yourself calm," she advised, her tone slightly stern.

Dove let out a choked noise, something like a sob. "I know," she whispered tensely – Raven didn't know it, but what she had just said had at least two different meanings. If she hadn't started letting herself slip into the emotions, none of this would be happening…

A distant, soft echo of thunder was heard, and Dove bit her lip as the small streak of white energy left her control. Her defenses against the fear were breaking down, it was just getting to be too much…

She groaned, wondering if there was any way to stop the fear from taking hold, and if she'd be able to stop that side from taking hold next time she felt it…

Almost afraid of herself at that thought, she turned and huddled against Raven desperately –

Raven tensed, and Dove looked up at her pleadingly, knowing that she wanted space, but – but she really needed comfort…

Raven blinked, relaxing only slightly.

Dove shivered, and she closed her eyes and swallowed. She took a shaky breath, and she put her head on Raven's shoulder. She felt… almost secure. Raven was so calm, and it was such a relief, she let the empathy of that calm wash over her, the cool near-peace taking away the burn of the raging fear, it felt so soothing… even more soothing than her own mother's comfort… If Dove had grown this afraid in her childhood, Alerina would have been so afraid, and she's try to hide it, but there was no way anyone could hide from the empathy…


Dove glanced up at Raven once she noticed the rain had stopped. "Is it over…?" she asked, a bit sheepishly.

Raven nodded.

Dove's eyes flickered towards the window, and she let out a sigh. "Raven, I really need a chance to clear my head…"

Raven nodded understandingly. "Just try to not pick up any dying birds this time."

Dove felt the half-smile cross her face. "I'll try," she promised, and she stood and left the room, Raven at her side.


Note to self: City has its own empathetic dangers.

She had thought leaving the tower, visiting the quieter parts of the city, would have left her alone with peace. But apparently she was wrong…

What about that forest…?

Her eyes drifted towards the trees on the horizon. When she had first arrived in this dimension, she had ended up in a meadow on the other side of the forest flanking the southern side of the city, and she ended up traveling through the forest for at least the first year she had been here.

A faint sensation of fear drifted towards her as she thought back… Fear was the only thing she had felt for more than the time she spent in the forest, save a terrible homesickness, and that meadow was where she had discovered her ceraunophobia… She blinked herself away from the memories, and she reminded herself that she couldn't let herself dwell on those times until she had more experience – and she especially couldn't dwell on that memory.

Maybe if I'm not around as many living things, and they're not within my reach, I won't be tempted to do anything… cruel…

She felt a nervous half-chuckle escape her throat at that thought.

She shook her head to clear the thoughts, and then she chanted, "Azarath Metrion Zinthos."

Focus, up at the sky, focus, imagine, try to focus…

A gust of wind wrapped itself around her as she rose into the air, her eyes set in front of her and a determined expression set in her face. Rising, rising, she kept her mind trained on height, balance, stability… She was still shaky and her cloak was tugging at her shoulders as the wind she forged herself passed her by, but she was managing to get off the ground for once!

Once satisfied with her height – meaning she was high enough to be clear of any buildings – she set her eyes in front of her and set her thoughts in motion.

Don't fall down this time, don't fall down, don't fall down.

Again, the memories threatened her temporary peace. She pushed them aside, knowing that painful memories were no better for her control than fearful.

For once, her powers were following her will.

Focus…

She could actually keep her thoughts straight. So high, so far away from any others, any sources of empathy and distraction, she could actually think clearly, keep herself in control… but it was exhausting…

Not used to releasing this much energy…

She heard her own breathing grow more rapid, her heartbeat steadily increasing…

Just make it there, she thought, just get to the edge of the city…

But even that was too much. Even levitating, the journey across the city was so much longer than she thought it would be…

Come on, come on, just a little more –

She felt a small yelp escape as her sudden nerves let loose a small bolt of static.

Focus! she scolded herself. Energy reigned in, but fading swiftly, she tried to send herself forward, hurrying towards…

She couldn't even focus anymore.

That's not a good sign…

Panting slightly, she took one last measuring glance around before she looked towards the ground and – faltered, but she hurriedly arced and landed on the ground.

Didn't know it was that exhausting, she thought, leaning against a wall to catch her breath, and then organize her thoughts…

It wasn't long before she could go on once more. She glanced at her robe, and it was still white. That meant she could still hold her powers together, as long as she kept herself even…

She repeated the process. Focus, chanting, rising, imagining… Halfway there…

She had almost made it to the forest when a wave of fatigue met her.

Okay, okay… I give. Don't wanna take any chances… especially with how uneven things have been lately.

Dove looked towards the ground and landed once more. She spent a few moments with her eyes closed, gathering what energy remained in her and being sure it would stay under her control. It didn't seem like she'd collapse…

She decided to walk, just in case.

Breathing deeply, calmly, she walked on. Relief showed itself so faintly in her mind, she was almost at the edge of the city, away from where there would be anything to –

A small sound reached her ears, and she stopped. She turned towards the source of the noise, glancing around the alley...

There was a kitten. A tiny, fuzzy kitten, with the mother nowhere in sight.

Dove tilted her head, wondering how he had gotten here, how long he had been here... "You shouldn't be all alone," she muttered, a bit concerned. He was so small, so young... She closed her eyes and took a small breath, calling forth the energies and opening her mind, focusing on reception and trying to locate the mother through empathetic sensation... but there were hardly any other beings to be sensed, let alone another cat...

I can't find her, she thought after a moment more, and she opened her eyes and looked to the kitten again.

Stepping lightly to not scare him, she leaned over and picked him up slowly, gently, and her robe faded to a sympathetic lavender.

The kitten huddled away in her hand. The poor thing was afraid.

"I'm not going to hurt you," she crooned. She lifted her hands to her face, making eye-contact with him for just a moment. The static pull of the connection fell in place, and she used that bridge to send him warm energies.

Stroking his back, gently scratching his head, she stood, and she walked in a light, even, soothing rhythm to find where he had come from. This poor kitten couldn't have been alone...

She expanded her empathy, drew on the energies to give it just a bit more power and hopefully sharpen her ability to locate the mother...

The kitten shifted in her hands and mewled weakly.

"Don't worry," Dove reassured him in a tender tone, "you'll be home soon."

The kitten blinked as she let a bit more thoughts, feelings flow into his mind. He needed to know she really meant no harm...

The kitten's tabby-striped fur felt so warm in her hands, so soft... She fingered his back and neck gently, hoping to mimic the feel of his mother's tongue. "There you go, just relax." She smiled as he blinked, then lay his head down in her hands; it seemed like he was finally trusting her.

A feeling of affection brushed through her, as soft and warm as his fur, and the maternal emotions amplified -

Dove suddenly caught herself allowing them to grow, and she dampened them, just a bit. Opening her soul to reception once more, she eased her thoughts off the kitten in her hands and onto seeking the others. Just a little more focus... a little more expansion... She finally found the sensation of the other creatures.

Dove smiled, keeping her empathy trained on the rest of the litter. "It's okay, little one, we're gonna get you home." She shifted the kitten to one cupped hand, carefully cradling it against her chest, and brought up her cloak and draped it over her other arm, holding it close to her body. She put the kitten in the fabric - he'd need to stay warm, after all - and after a moment, he snuggled into her, triggering a flood of warm affection that deepened her robe's shade threefold.

Feeling how close they were to the litter, Dove looked up just as they turned the corner. There against the building, boxed in by a pile of wood and a rusted dumpster, were four other kittens, just as small and fuzzy as the one in her arms.

She stepped lightly and kneeled in front of the litter before letting the kitten down to rejoin its siblings. He readily snuggled in with the rest of the tiny bodies. Surrounded in familiar smells, sights, and sounds, he took his place and lay down easily. He was home.

But Dove still sensed fear. She looked at the rest, and she noticed them huddling against the wall, looking up at her with wide eyes and fur bushed up in all directions.

"Oh..." Their nerves were unpleasant, she wouldn't want to hurt them, so young... She met eyes with a pair of golden orbs set in a gray body, and she sent the kittens gentle and warm thoughts, opening herself to each one of them at a time and easing their fear. She picked up a little brown and black cat with faint stripes on its back, and she pet it gently, snuggling it against her chest and being nuzzled in return.

These poor kittens, she thought. So weak, so helpless... the mother was nowhere near... Nothing's here to protect these little guys.

She blinked, looking into the kitten's eyes. He seemed curious, expectant...

Then a faint, misty dizziness settled itself over her mind. She shook her head, trying to blink away the dizziness, think clearly... There was an odd sensation inhibiting her thought - and suddenly making her feel unstable physically, she was trying to catch her breath... She still felt a bit shaky when she felt she could open her eyes -

Still dizzy. Dove closed her eyes and reached for strength in her mind, something to clear away the unnatural sensation... She grasped for whatever she found in her mind that was stable, and she held onto it. After a moment the dizziness faded, and stability returned. She looked down at the kitten, noticing that her robe wasn't lavender anymore. He had one of his paws braced against her... but even his brace was... It felt so delicate, so... so...

An odd curiosity overwhelmed her.

So fragile...

She took the kitten in her hands, contemplated for a moment more... and then she jerked the head and shoulders sharply, breaking its neck.

She felt the electric burn shoot through her body: it would usually be horrible, but now, in this mind, the sensation jerked every thread of her existence, body, mind, soul to awareness, and all that energy - it was so exciting! It left a tingling sensation where the burn faded, and she felt a pleasant shiver cascade through her.

She picked up the second, a tawny piebald furball, and she took this one slowly, working up the anticipation.

The kitten looked up at her in confusion - the motherly affection had faded, so suddenly...

She put a finger on the place where she could break it, fingering it and observing every vertebrae like an insane scientist collecting data.

And then she broke its neck.

She closed her eyes, she savored the waves of electric, tension, relief that came with the death... She was completely oblivious to the fact that her robe was slowly deepening in color, drained of white and filled by shades of red.

The kittens were now looking up at her anxiously, their little bodies growing tense...

Dove plucked the gray one from the group and snapped it immediately, giggling at the sensation. Her robe was now like red velvet. A bit of the pleasure faded - but, oh!, she felt entranced, feeding off the energies released by the death and her hands tickled by the jolt and immediate limpness that followed.

There were just two kittens left, and she picked up the ginger tabby - the cat was squealing for help and squirming in her hands to be released. The fact that Dove had opened a connection between them, and the kitten could now sense her dark intentions, didn't help the fact that animals had a way of sensing Dove's true emotions anyways, and this one was afraid of what she sensed.

And Dove found that fear entertaining.

She flicked her wrists in that fatal turn -

And then her soul seemed to collapse beneath her.

Dove yelped as the moment of death sent a wave of terribly painful waves pouring through her, her entire body jolted with it and she stumbled backwards. A horrible, sickening dizziness sprung into her, she felt weak, sick – she gulped back a retch. She had been completely oblivious to it until now, but she sensed it so vividly, the kittens had such a will to live…

She let out a sob and collapsed to her back, desperately trying to regain control over her breathing, trying to blink away the tears…

Another presence stabbed its way into her senses, and she winced. She forced herself up – collapsed to her palms and knees, strained to lift her head, opened her eyes… the presence wasn't human, faintest relief…

A fuzzy gray shape padded over to the corner, warily, cautiously, it glanced up at Dove, darted past…

Dove shook her head and focused on clearing her vision, focus on focusing…

Her remorse suddenly doubled when she realized that the shape was a cat – and judging by the way she was eying the kittens, sniffing them, it was the mother…

A faint touch of loss welled in her empathy. The dizziness doubled.

A small mewl erupted, calling the mother's attention… There was a survivor. He was the runt of the litter, Dove realized…

The mother cat's ears pricked up and she shot in front of the kitten, shielding him as she turned to Dove and arched her back, the hairs raised and a deep growl radiating from her throat.

The ferocity of the mother's defense was too much for Dove to handle. She swayed where she was, moaning weakly as she let her head hang and closed her eyes against the sudden vertigo, weakly trying to ease the pain, the aches, just wanting the torment to end…

She sobbed, whimpered just once. And then she collapsed, the numb blackness of unconsciousness acting as a merciful blanket as it settled over her eyes, her mind, blacking out the world and the horrible things she had done.