Hello back, guys!
Thanks for reading, for pointing out some of my mistakes (never hesitate to do so, I read over this before publishing but sometimes mistakes elude me) and just about everything. So, enjoy this new chapter!
Responsibilities
'Why do you have to go?', Rachel asks, wearing the most adorable pout Steve had ever seen. He has the urge to hug her and promise he will never ever leave but knows that he won't be able to keep that promise. She looks so downcast he starts to question his own reasons. He had just started to explain that work calls him away for some days so he wouldn't be home. No big deal, really.
His children unfortunately disagree. All through his explanations they had listened quietly but now, they assail him. It's not the first time he leaves for something similar and each time this discussion breaks loose because he can't sufficiently explain why he needs to go. Steve and Natasha had agreed to keep Captain America and Iron Woman from them so they could grow up as normal as possible, hence the last name Rogers instead of the famous Stark. So Steve can't just say he leaves for mission. Natasha has the advantage that she can disguise her business with Stark Industry trips. He has got to be a little more creative.
'Duty calls, princess. I have no real choice in this.', Steve explains. It's not exactly true but as close as to the truth as he can get without telling them what this prolonged leave from home is about. Furthermore it probably won't be the last time. Missions would call him out of country and Avengers' business possibly even to the other side of the world.
'Why?', James demands to know. 'Mom has a lot of money. You could quit.', he suggests with a wide smile, knowing his argumentation would be conclusively with every other job. 'Or you could be a painter.'
Steve smiles leniently. His children don't want to be separated from him, neither does he want to leave them behind. 'Someone needs my help. I can't let them down.'
'Can't someone else do this? I don't want you to go.' Rachel crosses her arms to signal her displeasure. She's about to have a tantrum, Steve can tell, so he wraps his arms around her. He doesn't need a screaming and crying, displeased four-year-old right now.
'I don't want to leave you either...', he reassures her.
The blonde girl looks up with big eyes. 'Then don't go!', she demands.
'.. but I have to.', he finishes, ignoring the disruption. 'I'll come back as soon as possible.' Steve brushes some blonde strands from her face.
'When?' Rachel refuses to be calmed by the gentle touch.
'I'll try to be here on Saturday. And then we can explore Brooklyn.', Steve promises so his daughter would agree. Within the last few days he hadn't found the time to take his children out with all the preparations and planning Steve had to do.
'Can I come with you?', James wants to know, his brown eyes shine with hope. 'Please, Dad.'
'Me too!', Rachel exclaims with a pout, not wanting to be left behind.
Steve shudders at the thought of taking his children with him, of them being in danger. With Natasha as their mother and him as their father, there is a high chance that they would try to do something for the good of the world when they get older but Steve can't help but wish them to lead normal lives, away from danger and the bad guys. It's part of the motivation for still working for SHIELD, to make the world a safe place for them to liv in so they would never be facing the ugly sides of it. 'I am sorry, but you can't.' And if his voice sounds a little icy while saying that and his arms tighten around his daughter, who is there to judge him.
James sulks. 'Mom takes us also to boring science congresses. We never got in much trouble.'
Steve almost sighs. 'But this is different. I won't be there the whole time to have an eye on you.', he explains patiently.
'Still unfair.', James mutters, now pretending not to pout and sulk.
'You're not leaving us, are you?', Rachel wants to know, her eyes getting a little glassy. Steve isn't sure how much of her open display of emotions is played. She knows how to play her cards to get what she wants.
He is a little taken aback by the sudden exclamation. 'No, I am not. I wouldn't go if I didn't have to.', Steve defends himself before adding, 'Being an adult also means having to do things we don't want to.'
'Then I'll be like Mom. She never lets anyone tell her what to do.', James states.
Steve smiles. Pepper had often enough made his mother run to do her bidding in fear of the red head's fury. He doesn't point that out though. 'I'll be back in no time.', Steve promises, hoping for once that Natasha is wrong with her estimation that these are empty words.
'Please, Daddy. I don't want you to go.', Rachel begs.
Steve sighs. He had known this conversation would go along these lines but had insisted on talking to his children about this beforehand. It would do no good to not discuss this important decision with them.
'Rachel.', he tries to admonish her.
'I don't want you to go.' Her high voice almost cracks. 'You can't go.', she stubbornly insists.
'Princess.' She pulls out of the embrace and crosses her arms more firmly this time, turning her back on Steve.
'You don't want us to come with you.', she states, her chin is raised a little. The stubbornness she surely has from her mother, Steve thinks with a sigh.
'I love you two. And I don't want to go like this.' Steve gently nudges her shoulder so she'd turn around. Why just has this conversation always have to go like this? Each time he is called for a mission, his family is fighting this tooth and nail. Don't they realize it's just as hard for him to leave them as it is for them to watch him go? Each time Natasha travels for her company half way around the world, he is worried sick that something might happen.
'You promise to be here on Saturday?', James asks, chewing in his lip. He is the more reasonable of the two. He is also more used to this procedure.
It would be so easy to say yes, but he doesn't want to lie to his children about something this important. They'd never trust him again. 'I will try my very best, James.' Steve touches again Rachel's shoulder. 'I never want to be parted from you any longer than necessary.'
'But you'll take us to Brooklyn, then?', she asks without turning around.
'Yes.'
She ponders over her answer for some time before turning back and hugging her father. 'I will miss you.' Steve can hear the tears in her voice.
'As will I.'
xXx
Thursday evening comes earlier than anyone anticipated and suddenly Steve's duffel bag stands in the living room. Together with his armor and shield which he had already downstairs that'd be all the blond would take to Washington. Natasha stands there, feeling slightly lost.
Steve is taking the kids to bed right now, saying good bye to them. That's usually her job. To say good bye for a few days, that is. Steve hadn't left her alone with the kids very often and then usually only during the days. Natasha is the one who occasionally has to travel half way around the world to congresses or meetings with Stark Industry employees to keep the business going. Or to meet old foes, depending on. She can't really decide which are worse. And Pepper usually forces her to go these stupid useless board meetings. Otherwise she could care less. She owns the main part of the stocks, she isn't really worried.
'I could fly you in tomorrow evening. Cathy wouldn't mind picking you up with the plane.', she tells Steve the second she hears him on the stairway. Cathy flies her private jet, if it wouldn't be for the kids Natasha would pick him up on her own. 'An hour and you'd be here.'
'SHIELD organized a flat for me.', he tells her.
'But you could be home in the evenings and the kids wouldn't miss you so much.', Natasha insists. 'SHIELD can't possibly need you at night.'
'The mission will just take one day. And then I'll stay two days to deal with everything. You'll be alright.' Steve steps in front of her and puts his hands on her shoulders.
'What if something happens? You know I can't be trusted.' Natasha realizes she starts rambling but can't stop. 'How often have I blown up the lab?'
'Natasha.' Steve can barely keep the smile from his face, knowing she tries to persuade him to stay.
'I had really bad parents. What makes you think I could be good at raising children on my own?', Natasha asks with a helpless shrug.
Steve sighs and presses her shoulders gently. 'You will do well. You're a great mother and that won't change just because I am not around 24/7.'
Natasha highly doubts that but doesn't indulge in her daydream of talking Steve into staying anymore. 'You got a list?', she asks.
'On the fridge. And Jarvis also has it.'
'Don't want to forget anything.' Natasha nods absentmindedly, not even pointing out the uselessness of a printed out list on the fridge. Jarvis would remind her anyway of things that need to be done, the hand written list is just there to calm her nerves.
Steve knows of her fears and tries to dispel them by giving her as much help as possible, having written a list with everything that would need to be done, knowing quite well that though it's not needed Natasha will work through the list with utmost accuracy.
'I'll be back soon.' He envelops Nat in his arms, pressing his lips to her forehead.
Natasha leans into the embrace. 'Call when you've landed.', she mumbles against his shoulder.
'Okay. But just really short, we'll get on the next plane right away.', he says with a sigh.
'Just have to know you're fine.' She'd love to go with him if just to make sure that he doesn't do anything reckless or dangerous.
Steve pushes her back lightly to look in her face. 'I'll give you a call once we're back in DC.', he promises to calm her.
Natasha nods. 'I love you. Be safe.'
'Love you too.' They kiss, then Steve grabs his bag and leaves Natasha standing there for quite some time after the elevator arrived downstairs.
'Daddy?' Rachel stands on the stairs, Emma clutched to her chest. She rubs her eyes and glances around the room to find her father. Surprised Natasha turns away from the elevator.
'Sorry, sweetie. He's already on his way.' She whisks a casual smile on her face to hide her sadness and anxiety. There is nothing to be nervous about right now, Natasha tells herself. He is only flying to Washington. No need to worry.
Rachel hangs her head. 'I wanted to say goodbye.', she whines. Natasha comes up to the landing the blonde girl stands on.
'He'll be back soon.' The girl nods when Nat crouches down in front of her, pushing her hair out of the Rachel's face. 'Shouldn't you be long asleep?', she asks with a smile.
'I wanted to stay awake to see Daddy off.' Natasha caresses her cheek. She understands her daughter and wishes she could take the pain away.
'Come, I'll bring you back.' She takes Rachel's hand and leads her back to her bedroom. 'Your dad will be back in no time. And he'll bring you something nice, I am sure. We will have a lot of fun in the meantime.'
Rachel nods, too tired to realize a lot. Emma is almost dragged across the floor. She almost instantly falls back asleep when she goes to bed. Nat breathes a sigh of relief. The day had tired out the girl emotionally and physically, otherwise her mother could have expected a new tantrum and a little girl demanding her father.
Natasha's already asleep when Jarvis announces the call. She rubs the sleep from her eyes and sits up. 'Steve?', she asks sleepily, blinking furiously to get rid of the drowsiness.
'Hey. I hope I didn't wake you.', he answers quietly.
'No, I was waiting.', Nat lies easily. It was no good sleep at least. The bedroom feels empty without her husband. She had just tried to catch some moments of sleep before there would be a reason to worry about Steve.
'I landed a few minutes ago.' Natasha is surprised how long the preparations must have been but knowing Romanov and Fury it's no real surprise. There is some commotion in the background. 'Tasha says hi. We're heading for our next plane.'
Natasha licks her lips. 'Who is with you? Or am I not allowed to know?', she jokes.
Steve chuckles. 'As if that would stop you. Rumlow and his team are here.'
Natasha scowls though Steve doesn't see her. 'I don't trust him. Don't like the way he prances.'
He sighs. There is probably not one SHIELD agent regarding whom she doesn't has reservations. 'I don't like him either but we still gotta work with each other. How are the kids?'
'Asleep. For now.', she adds on an afterthought.
'You should sleep as well. Give them a kiss from me.', Steve asks of her.
'Will do. Tell Tasha to have your back.'
Steve laughs. He surely won't annoy the assassin with his wife's worries or she would most certainly be the greatest danger around him. 'Good night, honey.'
'Call when you can. No matter the time.', Natasha insists. Before that time the end of it would keep her in suspense every minute.
She can hear the smile in his voice. 'Promise.'
'I love you.'
'I love you too.' The call ends with that. Nat drops down to her pillow before crawling over to Steve' side, not being able to fall asleep for several hours, worried what her husband had gotten into this time.
