A/N: A reviewer asked me how Severus was able to touch and feel Lily. It's because he's more tethered to the place where he died. He had a much tighter grasp on life than other ghosts that haunt Hogwarts grounds. His energy dwindles to almost nothing when away from the Shrieking Shack, which is where he died. His spirit is much more restless than others.

The same reviewer also asked if others could see him. They could, if he appeared to them. But he mostly spends his days haunting the waterfront of the boathouses and the Shrieking Shack. Just to put any confusion to rest.

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Chapter Nine


Lily made it back to the castle late that night, mind a whirlwind of thoughts. She was lucky none of the professors caught her out after curfew.

She knew she was able to touch and feel Severus, but she never knew they would be able to do...well...that. It had felt so good, but also so very very odd.

He hadn't felt warm, but cool to the touch. And when he had entered her, it had felt like someone had taken a large icicle and inserted into her warm body.

She had bled, of course. She was pretty sure she was still bleeding, albeit not by a whole lot. She had heard from other girls that had lost their virginity that there was blood the first time. She hadn't even realized she had been bleeding until they had finished.

Lily's face turned pink and her heart skipped a beat when she thought about the way Severus had kissed her open lips as she moaned his name at completion. He had flicked the tip of his tongue across hers, thrust once, twice and came.

It had been amazing, if painful at first. She was glad she had given it to him.

But the thought of next year being her last crushed her happiness down flat.

It would be her last year here. She would have to start studying and figure out what she wanted to do.

Severus was right, she thought as she climbed into bed quietly that night. She lay there for quite some time, relishing the soreness of her lower half and wishing she could do it again.

If she were to make a career out of something that she was good at, she could choose Potions. And that idea was looking more and more promising. It was a class she liked, she was excellent at the class.

And that kind of career could actually offer something to the wizarding world. She could be the first witch to discover a new type of potion. Perhaps she could go into experimental potions?

She cupped herself in her right palm, remembering the look Severus had on his face when he had climaxed.

It had been utter bliss.

She didn't want to lose that, not when she had finally found it.

Potions it would be, then.


Dunbarry stopped all attempts at stalking her. He stared occasionally, but now, when she stared back, something happened to him. He would get this tight lipped, fearful eyed look, then he would either look at the floor or get up and walk away completely.

A couple weeks later, a rumor went around the school that the Shrieking Shack was indeed haunted. The Potters (aside from Lily) and the Weasley's scoffed at the rumor.

Lily was the only one who truly knew that it was indeed haunted, just not to the extent that the Hogwarts populace thought.

For a moment, Lily had wondered who started the absurd rumor in the school, and then remembered-it had to have been Dunbarry. Severus had performed legilimancy, and had played with Dunbarry's mind. Lily had never seen anything but a smirk or an evil little grin on the teen, and it had felt nice to know that somebody had put fear into his heart.

Lily wondered what he saw these days, when she managed to catch his eye.

During the next couple of days, Lily asked Slughorn for career related advice involving the work of Potions.

"Well, well, Miss Potter! I didn't know you were so interested in this field! Tea?" Slughorn stated jovially, settling down into his seat behind his desk.

Lily sat opposite him, her polite smile in place.

"I am, Professor. Very interested. But I'm not quite sure where to start. I want to go as far as I can, maybe farther, with the potions classes offered here at Hogwarts. And yes, please," she replied, watching as Slughorn summoned a house elf and asked for some tea and biscuits.

He returned his attention to her when he was through and said, "Well, I would first recommend studying very hard for your NEWT level Potions class. You'll find the studies in seventh year classes are most challenging. They also offer you a great deal of experience should you decide to continue with your pursuit of a Potions oriented career!"

A popping noise signaled the return of a house elf and with it, a large silver tray laden with a platter of biscuits and two teacups. The elf placed the tray upon the desk, bowed and popped back out of existence.

Lily picked up the cup offered to her. It filled itself at her touch.

"I've already been studying hard for my NEWT's, Professor. I'm fairly confident I'll make it to the classes for next year. But where would I go after to continue my studies?"

Slughorn took a long gulp of his tea and plucked a chocolate biscuit off the plate. He bit into it loudly.

"Well," he said, chewing thoughtfully before swallowing.

"I'd recommend trying to find someone to study under for a the good part of a year-unless you want to become a Potions Master. In which case, an apprenticeship under the tutelage of another Potions Master would be your best bet. I'd estimate your apprenticeship to be around four to eight years, maybe more. Most make it eight years. I heard the late Professor Snape's apprenticeship went on around ten years."

Lily paled and nodded.

She didn't know if she could deal with four years of being away from Severus, let alone eight. She could do it though. And in the long run, it could prove a fruitful career.

"I think I'd like to look into that. Thank you, Professor."

They finished up their tea and Lily took her leave. Her next stop was the boathouses.


He was there, sitting against the wall. Lily entered the boathouse, smiled at him and sat down next to his form. She immediately started talking.

"I talked to Professor Slughorn today. I think I'm going to go ahead and go for a Potions Masters degree. He told me that I would have to study for NEWTs and get into the seventh year classes, but I've already finished up all my potions books for the year. I know I'll get into them. But..."

She trailed off and studied Severus' face. His eyes were focused on the lake water lapping at the boats that floated there before them.

"But," she continued, "He said I would have to study under another Potions Master. And my apprenticeship could take anywhere from four to eight years. That's...a long time," she finished quietly.

Severus nodded slowly, not taking his eyes off the water.

"Slughorn is accurate. My own apprenticeship lasted fourteen years. I could have left at four. There was no doubt of my own title of Potions Master. But I chose to do another ten so as to learn how to brew everything precisely. Even a Potions Master can...make mistakes."

Lily bit her lip, turning her gaze downwards. Her chest felt tight. She didn't want to leave Severus for eight years. Lily turned her face back up towards his and put her hand where his would have been. Ice cold.

"I-I wish I could study under you," she whispered.

Severus closed his eyes at that and lifted his arm up. The feeling of a large cold mass traveling from Lily's hand to her shoulder was peculiar. She had the urge to lean into him, but didn't.

"We don't always get what we wish for, Potter," was his whispered response.


Lily could hardly sleep that night. When she had returned to the castle that evening, she checked out all Potion's books that had been required that year, plus all the ones from prior years. She wanted to make sure she knew everything for her NEWTs.

Which she realized with a start several days later, were only three months away.

She studied during breakfast, lunch and dinner. She sometimes studied through the night. Several times she had gone down to the boathouse and had Severus quiz her (much to his chagrin) on her Potions studies. Sometimes he would lecture about a certain ingredient and why it was key in this potion or the other.

Not once did they mention what they had done together. It hurt Lily, and she started to feel the ache of want within her again. She only wondered if he felt it it too.


A couple nights later, Lily was restless. She couldn't sleep, couldn't focus on her studies. The night before she had dreamt of their night of passion. It had somehow seemed more intense in her mind and when she had awoke she felt the heavy weight of disappointment, along with the wetness of her undies.

The night of her restlessness she had gone to the common room to study but couldn't focus for more than a minute before zoning out and thinking about that night.

An hour later Lily returned to her dorm, dressed warmly and threw the invisibility cloak over her. She headed not towards the boathouses, but towards Hogsmede.

Towards the Shrieking Shack.

She arrived fairly quickly, and not a person was on the streets. The windows of all the houses and storefronts sat dark.

When she got to the room where she knew Severus would be, she shut the door quietly and tiptoed over to the ghost who was leaning against the wall. She stopped in front of him.

"Who's there?" he asked gruffly, and Lily remembered she still had the cloak on.

"It's me," she whispered and pulled the cloak off. Severus' eyes widened.

"I knew that insufferable brat had a means of getting around the castle without being caught!"

Lily looked at the cloak in her hands, confused.

"Huh?"

Severus shook his head, before asking her what she was doing there this late at night.

"Oh! Erm..." Lily's face started to redden. Severus just sat there, arms crossed and head raised high. All haughty and full of himself, she noticed.

"I..."

"Spit it out, Potter!" he snapped, eyes flashing. Lily crossed her arms and looked at the far wall. She could feel her face continue to get hot.

"I was just wondering," she started cautiously, eyes still trained on the wall, "if you were-well. I mean, ha!-I'm feeling...erm...sorry." Severus was eyeing her like she had just grown a second head.

Lily took a deep breath and turned to look at him.

"Okay okay. Let me ask you this. Why do you think I'm here?"

Severus glared viciously at her and snarled, "I don't know, Potter. So you can annoy me endlessly? Please, do enlighten me Potter."

Lily's eyes narrowed and she huffed in exasperation.

"I just wondering if you'd. If you'd...oh fuck, you can read minds!" she exploded. "Just-just read mine! Please," she added hastily.

"An infantile thought process-but really, you're a Potter so I'm not terribly surprised. It's not 'mind reading'. It's a very advanced form of mental training that was developed to-" Severus stopped and closed his eyes, nostrils flaring.

"Never mind what it was designed for," he muttered instead, struggling to stand. Lily put out a hand but withdrew it when she saw the look her gave her.

He sighed heavily, and stood just outside of arms length.

"Just...look into my eyes and focus. Visualize what it is you want me to see. Merlin forbid you fucking tell me."

Lily suddenly felt very nervous, but nodded.

"Give me a second, okay?" she asked, causing Severus to roll his eyes.

Lily closed her eyes. In her mind, she was remembering the first time she saw him. The fear, followed by the curiosity. The amazement. The disappointment at his sudden disappearance. The elation at his return in her third year.

The year she daringly kissed him. The first time she realized she was starting to feel more than just friendship. The night she actually touched him, due to his connection with this house.

The day she understood that love really did know no bounds.

Then, the months before. When he finally kissed her, after so many years of wanting and waiting and fluttering around each other like butterflies. When he saved her from Dunbarry and when he took her.

That was what she focused on-the feel of him sliding in and out, his cold lips and hands trailing over her hot body. The way he was so thorough and almost...affectionate with her.

She opened her eyes, cheeks tinted pink. She nodded at Severus who said nothing and moved nowhere.

She stared into his eyes and felt like she was falling.

The image of him holding her tight and fucking her slowly suddenly came up forcefully. She gasped, and shuddered as she remembered, almost as if it was happening again. She could feel the phantom touches of her fingers running over her temples, his lips brushing just barely against hers. The sound of his breathing, harsh and ragged.

The memory was lovely, she thought to herself. And then she felt as if she was being torn through the middle and with another loud gasp the memory disappeared. The phantom touches and caresses were gone.

Lily was left standing there, cheeks pink and lips wet with want. Eyes half lidded, trained upon the black of Severus eyes.

Severus himself was standing there, his own eyes wide and lips pursed. He was breathing just as hard as Lily, yet had managed to control his own reaction to her memory.

They both stood opposite each other, riding out the wave of emotion. Finally Lily shivered and coughed delicately.

"So erm wh-" she started, taking a tiny step forward.

But she was never able to finish that sentence, for Severus was upon her without another word.


A little short, I know! But I'm planning the best parts for the last couple of chapters. I'm fairly sure I'll have at least two more chapters and maybe an epilogue before this story is finished. I'm already thinking of a sequel, although I really should finish my other story.

As always, please please please review and let me know what you thought!