A/N: Don't own Supernatural, don't have any holy water.
Not sure how this one turned out, exactly… I tried, anyway.
Chapter 9: Peanut Gallery on Your Shoulder
Although he didn't like it, Gabriel expected the sickish feeling that came with being flung through time and space by his brother. Thankfully, his landing was much more comfortable than the last. A fall into some sort of fabric instead of a stupidly hard tile floor. Shaking his head hard to get rid of the vertigo, Gabriel sat up.
And then the ground beneath him shifted.
"Whoa!"
Gabriel clung to the fabric and was able to manage not falling. When everything settled, he looked up, and saw… Fluffy brown hair and an ear almost as tall as him. The archangel pulled a face. He was standing on… Sam Winchester's left shoulder? A laugh split the air.
Clinging to Sam's collar, he leaned over to get a look at his right shoulder. And there, sitting comfortably with one leg crossed and the other dangling down towards Sam's right pec, was Lucifer.
"You'll fall if you do that, Gabriel," the elder archangel warned cheerfully.
With a huff, Gabriel seated himself more steadily on Sam's shoulder.
"You mean like you?" he scoffed. "Shoulder angels, Luci? Seriously?"
"Yup. But you, little brother, still don't have your powers," the devil said with a self-satisfied grin, ignoring the verbal jab that would have been too insensitive for any human.
Gabriel's eyes narrowed. He clambered over the front of Sam's button-up, raring to tackle his brother. But just as he reached the opposite shoulder, Lucifer tapped him on the forehead. A second later Gabriel sat up, stomach and head full of nausea as he looked around and found himself back on Sam's left shoulder.
"Dick," he muttered, crossing his arms over his chest and digging his back into the meat of Sam's neck a bit.
"Can you guys not do that?" the man himself muttered tightly, as if he were trying not to move his mouth too much. "I'm trying to look like a sane person here."
It was only then that Gabriel noticed that they were moving through a crowd, of people who likely could not see him or his brother. College kids finally hitting their second wind of the day, looking more alert than Gabriel remembered any student at Belle Plains ever being before noon. They were outside, sun shining down and marking the time at something like two in the afternoon, which made sense given the state of the students. The buildings were familiar too, ones he had himself seen, though in the dark, many hours before.
Stanford.
Gabriel did a second once-over of Sam. Definitely much younger than the real Sam, the hunter. He was a simple (if someone so pretty and complex and emotionally beautiful could be simple at all) law student again.
"Aw, come on, bunk buddy," Lucifer teased. "You'll make me cry."
"Yeah, Sambo," Gabriel chimed in. "Don't tough love us. We got enough of that from Dad."
The brunette rolled his eyes and strode purposely towards a building. Pushing the door open nearly unseated Lucifer, much to Gabriel's unbridled glee. The youngest archangel grinned and cuddled up to Sam's neck, even though it made the human twitch at the odd sensation.
Sam was comfy. Gabriel nearly fell asleep to the soothing rock of Sam's giant footsteps, but was jolted awake when the brunette sat down heavily in an auditorium seat.
"Ooh… Standardized tests! Now that's what they should have in Hell…" Lucifer mused.
"A test?" Gabriel said, blinking a few times to wake himself up fully and glancing around before blowing a raspberry. "Ugh. Kill me."
"Already did, brother," quipped Lucifer.
Sam couldn't hide his snort. He tried instead to cover it up as if he had sneezed but the other students still gave him funny looks. Gabriel frowned and stuck his tongue out at them, grabbing a fistful of Sam's collar protectively.
"Guys, shut up, I've gotta focus," Sam breathed out, eyes squinted in concentration.
He accepted a Scantron and exam paper from the student next to him, then passed the remaining stack on. Lucifer took great delight in yelling out random letters as Sam tried to remember how to spell his full name on the bubble sheet.
"Awww, Samuel," Gabriel laughed. "It suits you."
Sam ignored him, but flushed pink and furrowed his brow as he moved on to writing down his ID number. Lucifer kept up his little game and screamed random numbers as loudly as his tiny lungs could manage. It worked, as he got Sam to accidentally write an eight instead of a one. Grumbling low in his throat, the law student erased the mark and put down the correct one. However, the shadow of the eight was still visible, tangible proof of Lucifer's petty victory.
For the most part after that, Sam was successfully able to ignore the hoopla from the little angels atop his shoulders. Gabriel was actually rather impressed, and almost believed Sam might make it through the entire exam without any more negative interference, until he stopped entirely on question thirty-three.
"Shit," Sam breathed, squeezing his eyes shut as if the answer might be on the backside of his eyelids.
It didn't appear to be there, based on the way the furrow wedged between his eyebrows stayed firmly in place. Lucifer leaned over, almost dangerously so, to get a look at the question. As the blond read, he mumbled the words out loud to himself. Gabriel rolled his eyes, but was glad to be able to hear the test question without risking his own beautiful mug.
"You know, bunk buddy, if you just let me into your noggin, I could find that answer right away," Lucifer offered at last. "I know you studied it."
Sam looked almost insulted.
"I am not gonna say yes to you for something so stupid!" he growled under his breath.
Lucifer gave a thoughtful frown and shrugged, as if to say it was worth a shot. He shifted to sit cross-legged and rested his chin on his hands and his elbows on his knees. The aura of boredom the devil exuded made Sam roll his eyes.
"I could pop on over to your neighbor's test and see what they put," suggested Gabriel helpfully.
He saw Sam's jaw tense, and the brunette turned his head just the slightest to glare down at Gabriel.
"I thought you were supposed to be my shoulder angel."
Gabriel shrugged.
"It's only a technicality," he explained idly, lying back so that he was sprawled across the length of Sam's broad shoulder. "After all, Luci's Satan and all, so of course he's the shoulder devil."
"I am not cheating," snapped Sam.
"Good for you," said one of the TAs helping proctor the exam. "But keep it to yourself. People need quiet for the test."
The brunette ducked his head down in embarrassment, cheeks flaming. Lucifer laughed, pleased. Gabriel himself actually felt a bit bad about the whole thing. He patted what of Sam's hair he could reach in a silly attempt to be soothing. Sam just sighed and returned to his test.
"The next one's C," called Lucifer lazily.
Sam frowned. Read the question. Bubbled in C. Then, grumpily, he rolled his shoulders in an attempt to knock Lucifer off. However, the archangel just flitted in and out of reality until he could get a firm foothold in Sam's shirt. Gabriel, powerless, wasn't so lucky. With an 'oof' worthy of a cartoon, he toppled into Sam's breast pocket.
"Sam? Sammy-boy? Gigantor?" the miniscule archangel called, scrabbling uselessly against the smooth fabric of Sam's dress shirt. "A little help?"
Sam filled in two more bubbles, then glanced around out of the corner of his eyes. Once he was satisfied everyone else's attention was occupied, Sam reached the index finger of his left hand into his pocket. Gabriel grabbed the end of the digit in a bear hug and held on for dear life as Sam pulled him out.
However, instead of being set back on Sam's shoulder, Gabriel felt the soles of his white tennis shoes connect with the wood of the auditorium flip-up desk. Curious, he tilted his head and studied the exam Sam was working on.
"Huh. Halfway there, Sambo!" he called.
Sam just smirked a little and nudged Gabriel aside by pressing the eraser of his pencil to the tiny angel's belly. Then he filled in the B bubble that Gabriel had been standing on. The archangel pouted, looping his arms over his chest protectively.
"You could've just asked," he pointed out.
Lucifer, on the high ground of Sam's right shoulder, grinned like he should be in trouble for something.
"This is much more fun," Lucifer answered as Sam continued to fill in bubbles. "Sammy agrees with me; we're two of a kind, after all. You're just too amusing to mess with, little brother."
Gabriel's expression went flat, and he stuck up both middle fingers at his brother.
Thankfully for Sam, he was able to finish the rest of the exam without another shoulder-angel incited incident. And with time to spare, too, Gabriel noted with vicarious pride. Most of the other students were still working when Sam placed Gabriel back on his shoulder, handed in his test, and left.
It was in between class periods, which left campus mostly deserted, and the archangels took full advantage.
"So, how did you think you did?" Lucifer asked clinically, though clearly mocking Sam.
"Shut up, Lucifer."
The devil pressed a hand to his chest, and turned his scandalized look on his little brother.
"Sammy said shut up to me…"
"Thank Dad," retorted Gabriel. "Someone had to."
That sent a little kick of humor into the set of Sam's lips, which Gabriel counted as a victory.
"I'd watch my mouth if I were you, little brother. Only one of us has his powers right now," Lucifer warned, his blue eyes steely but his mouth downturned into a childish pout.
Gabriel waved him away lazily.
"This is why Sammy-boy likes me better," he said. "You're too intense, Luci."
"He does not like you better!"
Gabriel's lips pulled up and out into a tricksterish grin.
"Does so."
"Does not!"
"Does so. Don't you, Sambo?"
"You're both dicks," Sam supplied, rolling his eyes. "But… Gabriel's a little more tolerable than you, Lucifer."
The golden-eyed archangel cheered.
"I'm much better than Gabriel," Lucifer protested. "I'm older than him, and stronger. Plus I can do this!"
Lucifer stuck out his tongue, cleaved down the middle almost halfway in, and the two tips wriggled oddly. Sam closed his eyes, shook his head, sighed.
"I don't see what that has to do with—"
"No, no," Gabriel interrupted, patting Sam's neck. "He's got a point."
Sam let out a long-suffering sigh that unwillingly turned into a breathy laugh halfway through. Still chuckling softly, Sam shook his head and looked up at the blue of the sky. Gabriel followed his gaze, but only after a long, dumbfounded moment admiring the swish of Sam's hair from so close.
"It's a nice day," Sam said at last, as though he couldn't believe it.
Gabriel had to admit, Lucifer had conjured a truly beautiful fall day. Just crisp enough for a jacket, unless you were from the Midwest – in which case a light t-shirt might be more appropriate. The slant of light hit the sandstone of the campus buildings just right. Sam paused in front of a fountain.
All three watched the graceful arc of the water, spurting up to the sky and diving back down.
"You could jump in," Gabriel suggested.
Sam rolled his eyes, but the soft smile on his face didn't drop away.
"Or you could toss Gabriel in," offered Lucifer. "You and I were made for each other, Sammy. We don't need him."
"Hey!" protested Gabriel. "Besides, then he'd only have a shoulder devil, and that would suck. Right Sambo?"
"I'm not taking sides," Sam insisted, trailing his long fingers through the rush of fountain water.
"Psssh, you just don't want to tell Mr. You-Were-Made-For-Me over there that you and I have chemistry."
"You're a douche, Gabriel," said Sam.
But there was an undeniable fondness to the expletive that Sam didn't even bother to fight.
Gabriel, emotionally sated in a way he couldn't explain in words, just smiled. It had been so long since he'd just joked around with any of his closest brothers. And to bond over teasing Sam Winchester of all things… Well, there had been a reason Lucifer was the one to teach him everything he knew. Or, most of it. Gabriel grinned. He did, after all, always have a few of his own more pagan tricks up his sleeves.
"Love you, Sambo," he mumbled.
Amazingly, the brunette did not tense. Gabriel knew even with his eyes closed, because he didn't feel the shift of muscle from beneath him. Sam held his tension in his jaw, in his neck and shoulders; if he went rigid, Gabriel would have been able to feel. But he didn't.
Then there was a laugh. Not Sam's.
Lucifer's.
"I think you're getting a bit too comfortable, Gabriel," he said.
The archangel had just enough time to open his eyes and stare blearily up at his brother before Lucifer flicked his wrist, and Gabriel felt himself go flying.
