A/N:
Yes! I kept my promise. Once a week update, here ya go.
Thank you, melmelmel, ranipaki, CaPiTalStoRieS, Cutsodeep, Sariniste, nypsy, chupaca rootali, SasuNarulover49 for reviewing the last chapter. Oh, don't we all hate drama, LOL.
(3/24/2012)
Orihime continued to brush her hair. Thinking about the past made her feel confused and insecure. She remembered what Gin asked her at Aizen's apartment about how much she loved him. She had been thinking about it all the time now. Maybe she did not love him like she thought she did. The reason she agreed to date him was because she wanted to see more of him and through him, her mother... but then she felt something different. He was not her mother. He was a man, a very attractive man, and when she dated with a man, she could not expect to have the same feeling as being with her mother. Her mother did not kiss her on the lips, or caress her body, did not make her heart beat like crazy every time she saw his face, so she thought she fell in love with him. As a young girl who had never been with men before, never had such intimate contacts before, she might have confused pure lust as love. Afraid of this fact, she tried hard to understand him, to know him better so that she could love him for who he was. Idealistic dreams could be a pest sometime especially when she realized the harsh reality.
She could feel that he did take his masks off sometimes when he was with her, that he did show her his true emotion and feelings, but...
There was a knock on her door and she went to open it. One of her roommates, with a frown on her face, announced her that someone wanted to meet her. As she came to the kitchen, much to her surprise, she met Aizen. She smiled at him and asked him to go into her room, trying to ignore the hateful look all of her roommates gave her. She never invited him to her apartment because unlike him, she lived in a four room apartment with seven other roommates and shared her room with another girl. Moreover, it did not surprise her much but since the rumor that she was dating with the hottest man in school, her roommates had avoided her like the plague, often shooting disgusted looks at her whenever she did not come home due to staying overnight at his apartment.
However, today the roommate that shared the room with her went home to visit her family so she was the only one in the room now.
She sighed in pleasure as he wrapped his arms around her from behind and kissed her neck with so much passion that she began to wonder if something was wrong.
XxXxXxXxX
She was as beautiful as ever in her white sleeping grown, whimpering in his arms as he planted hot kisses on her neck. Suddenly, she stopped him and looked at him, full of concern, "What's wrong, Sousuke?"
He pushed her on the bed and got on top of her. She was too smart and sensitive for her own good. Yet her intelligence and intuition were what he found most compatible to him, what helped her to understand him much better than anyone he had met. She always knew how to make him happy. There was time when neither of them needed to say anything but they still could understand perfectly what was on each other mind. She never annoyed him, never bothered him, never invaded his personal space, never asked or questioned him about anything. She was quiet, but her silence alone contained a mountain of sympathy toward him. She never said it out loud, but he wondered how much she really knew about him.
He placed her on bed and began to move the hem of her long gown up and down her thigh, his hands rubbing her smooth skin, drawing several sounds of pleasure from her, but she stopped him once again, "didn't you have lab today, why-" He cut her off with his lips. Sometime her intelligence frustrated him. He was always a dominant type; his lovers never talked back to him or told him what to do. He was always the one in control, and they just needed to follow him blindly, to submit to him completely. She was so different, so independent; she demanded to play a role in his life, but he did not like it when people started to control his life, no matter how subtle it was. She was somewhat submissive in bed but she never bent to him completely. She had many times refused to get intimate with him, even flat out rejected him in public when he started to make his move. She had many times deliberately told him that she did not like the way he expressed too much intimate gestures in public in front of the eyes of other people. She preferred to keep their moment in bed only. She did not even allow him to kiss her when there were people around.
He doubted that she would let him do what he did with Momo in the backyard tonight. Momo... he sighed and fondled Orihime's breasts furiously while letting one hand travel down to her thigh once again to stroke under her panties. She gasped and arched closer to him. He wondered what Momo would look like naked.
His father was a monster. He had chosen for him a woman that he could not refuse. She was not as beautiful as Orihime but she was pretty and elegant, somewhat noble. She was much more naive and trusting than Orihime. Orihime, despite her innocent look, was extremely smart and perceptive, and...his heart clenched...he could feel it; she did not trust him completely. There was still some distance between them that she tried to keep. Unlike Momo who could do anything for him, if he asked her to stay with him even if he married, he knew for sure she would refuse him... He curled his fingers into fists. Momo would stay loyal to him no matter what he did, supporting him all the way while Orhime would question and stop him if he was about to do something that she deemed inappropriate or unethical. Maybe Gin was right, Orihime did not really love him the same way he loved her.
Did he really love her? He entered one finger into her, making her moan helplessly with desire. He had never felt like this before. He had never longed to see anyone this badly before. He had never missed someone terribly although he just parted from her for several hours. He had never had anyone occupied his mind all the time like this. Her smile alone would brighten his day. His heart beat like crazy when he just heard her footsteps from afar. Just her face alone aroused him more than any great sex he had had. He could get ridiculously jealous and irritated if someone looked at her, men or women, for more than one minute. So he guessed he loved her, madly so, but then why did he...with Momo...
At first he just wanted to flirt with her a little bit, to close her mouth, to make her follow his wish so that he could still be with Orihime as much as he wanted. If Momo let her family know and they put pressure on his father, he doubted that his father would let them continue meeting each other. With his money and power, his father could do anything to break them up, and he did not want Orihime to be hurt in anyway, but now he did not had enough power and support to protect her. The only thing he could do was to pretend to follow his father's wish so he would let them be; then he could set counter plans later. He did not know what got into him that made he get intimate with Momo too, many times. If it was before, he would not hesitate to do so to seal her mouth off; it was just sex, it was no big deal... but he had promised Orihime that he would not be with anyone else but her...He had betrayed her, been unfaithful to her... He had broken his promise... to the one that he loved the most.
He sighed and pulled her dress up to take her panties off. As he was about to thrust into her, she stopped him once again. It was so annoying, the way she stopped him all the time. Maybe her rejection was the reason he longed for another flesh, for someone who would satisfy the need that Orihime caused him.
"Did you forget something?" Orihime asked gently, yet Aizen could feel his frustration build up.
He just looked at her, not answering, did not even bother to hide his irritation behind his eyes.
She traced her fingers around his erection, making him bite his lower lip to stop the groan from coming out, "You rarely forgot to use condoms before." She leaned closer and kissed him, "Do you have one with you?"
He intently did not bring condoms with him any longer... "You use pills, don't you?" He asked seductively, breathing into her neck, circling his fingertips around her nipple, "then we do not need condoms anymore because...", he rubbed her nipple skillfully, pleased at the way she threw her head backward because of the intense pleasure he was giving her, 'because it feels much better without one."
Her eyes darkened, and she looked at him with emotion he could not decipher. She then reached her hand to her bag and took out a condom. "Luckily I had some with me in case you forget to bring one." She softly put it on him, trying to not look into his eyes, but he stopped her, telling her in his commanding tone, "I told you I do not want to use a condom today." He began to get suspicion about her. She was too cautious for his liking. Did she hide something from him?
She sighed and placed her head on his chest, "But I have gotten used to you using condom, it made me feel safe and protected. I think I will not feel as comfortable as usual if you do not use one today." She looked at him with her begging eyes, "Please, Sousuke." She kissed his neck, sucking his vein lightly and licking it with her tongue, "I really want you now, but I really cannot do it without a condom."
How could he refuse her? He just wished she knew how much he loved her, that everything he did was for her, for their future. He pulled the condom down all the way and signaled her to lie down. She took her dress completely off and closed her eyes as she exposed everything to him, shyly parting her legs for him. He put her legs on his shoulders, ready for deep penetration.
As he thrust into her, he remembered the sound Momo made when he was inside her...Orihime rarely made any sounds. She always tried hard to not let her passion out; especially after the morning that she had moaned so loudly that she was afraid Ichigo might hear. Momo was different, she was not afraid of anything when they made love, no calculation, no fear, no restriction. She just submitted to him completely, body and soul.
Then it struck him. He got bored again. He got bored of Orihime's body...Now he wanted to taste Momo's body again, to experiment what kind of sound he could draw from her, to feel her finger nails dig into his flesh, her body cling desperately to him, to feel her tight walls clenched against his arousal before pouring her desire into it.
Orihime clutched the sheet, looking him with her hazy eyes, begging him to go faster. Why didn't she tell him so? Why didn't she let him hear more of her voices, her begging, her desire? Did she really want him?
He loved her, but he did not desire her the same way he did before. He had gotten used of having multiple partners at the same time. He never had one for more than one week. His body was used to constant change of partners. Yet he had been sleeping with her for more than two months without touching another human being, so he thought she really was the one, that love was something sacred and pure, that as long as he loved her he would not want to be with anyone but her, that he was unable to desire anyone but her. How wrong he was! Since when did he hold such idealistic thoughts? Since when did he begin to believe in love? No, his father was right, there was no such thing as love. People just worshiped an idea, making it sound high and mighty and lie themselves into it. If love did exist, it could not last long. It was just like a wind, came fast and went away just as fast. Love was a weakness. How soft had he become since he met her? He wanted to return to the ruthless Aizen. He wanted to play with her only, to make her another one of his victim, a plaything so that he could fool around with her as much as he wanted, abandon her when he bored and played with her again when he wanted to, but he could not do so... Because love did exist.
He stopped and threw himself on the bed. He could not do this anymore. Orihime sat up, confusion and fear evident on her face, but then she said nothing and took the condom off, zipping his pants up, and pulled a blanket over him. She asked him softly, "Do you want to take a shower?".
Not hearing an answer, she sighed, wanting to say something but then she just turned the light off. In the dark, she turned him around to face her, tracing her fingers up and down his chest. "Sousuke, I wish I could understand you better, but I alone cannot do so. If you do not open to me, I..." She sighed again and kissed him on his lips, "I'm here for you when you need me. I'll wait for you. I'll keep waiting for you until you can really show yourself to me, when you are ready to." She nuzzled her head in his chest and fell asleep.
Sometime he wished she was not this kind to him, this understanding. Kissing her head, he traced her face with his fingertips, from her forehead, to her eyes, eyebrows, cheek, jaw, and lips. Maybe he did not need someone who understood him but someone who would follow him regardless of what happened. The more she understood him, the more vulnerable he was to her, the more she was in control. He wanted to keep her as a thing, a subject, to play her in his palm, but somewhere in his heart he had been longing for a person just like her, who want to understand him and accept him for who he was.
He would marry Momo.
He sat up and looked at her once last time. Now was the problem of tying Orihime to him, making her stay even when he married. His shaking fingers rubbed her cheeks while she was sleeping. Was she really sleeping? There were countless way to keep her with him, to mold her, making her change and submit to him completely, but...He kissed her forehead. Would she still love him then? Would he still feel this warmth and peace whenever he was with her? Would his heart still beat like crazy whenever he saw her coming, hearing her voice from afar, smelling her faint scent? He held her tight in his arms.
He had to face it. They could not be happy together unless one had to change.
He did not want to change. He had regretted how much she began to change him. There were still many things he wanted to do, to achieve, and he could not do so if he was like this, if he still loved her.
He did not want to change her either. He did not want to lose the sight of the real Orihime...even if they could not stay together.
He stood up and fixed his clothes before he left, trying to ignore the sobbing coming from the bed.
XxXxXxXxXx
It felt so hard to breathe. She could not hold her tear back anymore. What happened? Why did it have to be like this? Was he leaving her? She could feel it, he wanted to leave her. What should she do? Should she ran after him, asking him if he wanted to leave her, and begging him to stay? Should she tell him that she would do anything and everything so that they could be together? Then it struck her. She could not do so; she could not do each and everything just to be with him. She did not want to change. There were many things she wanted to do, to achieve, and she felt like she could not do so with him. She could not achieve her dreams with him, together with him...
She wished he could really open to her. Telling her each and everything about him, about his life.
But he didn't.
She wished that he would tell her what was wrong with the relationship.
But he didn't.
She wished that they could sit down and talk, to sort things out.
But they didn't.
They didn't even have a fight. They rarely fought before. He did not even say that he wanted to leave her. Maybe it was just her silly thought. Maybe they were still a couple. Maybe there was still hope. Maybe he just went to get some water, or went to the bathroom. Maybe...
A/N: Please leave a review if you like this story. That would make me very happy. Thanks for reading.
