For days, Aaron felt a restless, angry energy. Goldie noticed it and laughed at his stupidity, making it all a lot worse. He walked around not quite knowing what to do with himself. He found he was unable to concentrate and barely able to carry out a conversation with Paddy when he came to visit. He knew who was to blame, it was Daniels. And also that other guy, Haines, who up until now had barely registered. Aaron had asked a few questions and found out that Haines was a married man, with two children in for burglary. He was young, in his early twenties with a build and spiky attitude, similar to Aaron's. Two days ago, Haines had served him a dollop of rice in the canteen, their eyes had met, and an apologetic expression fleeted his features. Aaron had looked away as quickly as possible. Then yesterday, Haines had approached him in the library.

"Hey." Aaron quickly scanned the gap above the row of books to make sure no one was in the immediate area. "Hi."

"Look, are you alright after the other day?" He couldn't look at Haines, "Yeah, I'm fine."

"Well, I thought you were a dead man."

"Well, I wasn't." Aaron shifted to move but Haines blocked his way. "Hey, I'm just trying to make sure you're OK here, why are you being shitty with me?"

"I'm not."

"Yeah, right." Haines lightly put his hand to Aaron's shoulder, Aaron shot back as if he'd been stabbed. "Oh, I get it, this is cause of what we were doing, you think queerness is catching." Haines narrowed his eyes, "Well, let me tell you, Livesy, I like pussy, always have, but when there's not a whole load around, you start getting resourceful." He closed the gap between them and reached up to cup Aaron's face. They stood head to head, lips almost touching. Aaron jerked away. "You're only in for six months, that's probably not long enough. If you do get the urge to try some man-on-man, you know which cell I'm in."

And now Aaron noticed, and realised it wasn't all that uncommon. From his plastic chair in the rec room, he'd watch as men sloped of together, returning later, clothes readjusted. It was all going on around him, along with the drugs and fights and part of the tapestry of prison life. It wasn't everyone, hardly anyone in fact, but suddenly it seemed all the more prominent. All the looks, gestures, sniggering and high-fives, and all those past exchanges suddenly took on a clarity. Thinking about it now, Aaron was even angrier, fuming even. The place was full of it, men coupling, like it was no big deal. All those years he'd spent panicking, trying desperately to hide who he was, feeling sick at the attractions coursing through him. But in here, men were getting it on all over the place, married men, men who didn't seem to show an ounce of concern for their reputation. This made a mockery of Aaron, laughed at his suicide attempt and stuck two fingers up at the very reason he was inside.

It didn't matter though, he wasn't going to be like that. He was going to ignore those images in his mind of Daniels' firm body and Haines' full lips that had danced so close, so alluringly to his own. He wasn't going to let himself think about kissing, or kneeling down in front, or touching another man. No, he wasn't.


Jackson never went to college, didn't get his qualifications. He didn't see the point, he knew what he wanted to do without question. He loved building, loved keeping fit and loved the outdoors. So, at sixteen years of age, he went to his parents and told them he had no intention of continuing his education. Luckily, they'd been supportive.

Sometimes, Jackson worked for a firm, sometimes he took on a job himself. It was constantly different, his work transient in nature. It meant a lot of uncertainty, always having to look at the future, always planning three jobs ahead, but luckily, he'd never been out of work for longer than a few weeks.

Aaron Livesy put a stop to his luck. Their relationship, for what it was, became distractive. He stopped thinking about money and started focusing on the younger man. For two months, he was constantly calling, constantly 'dropping in', and constantly feeling like a stalker. Then the awful happened, just as things were in place, just as Jackson felt they were getting somewhere, Aaron had hit him. The bruises, the injured pride, the venom, it had all been there consuming him, replacing perspective and preventing him from moving on. A month later, Jackson found himself in deep shit, utility bills to pay and credit cards to sort, and absolutely no job on the cards.

That was until Declan Macy called.

Jackson had laughed at the irony. Apparently, Declan, a wealthy business man, just moved to Emmerdale, had seen his van around the village and taken down the number clearly stencilled on the side. How funny, when he'd only been around because of Aaron. He didn't want to take the job and was horrified to return after his very public performance witnessed by the locals. He'd have to see that Adam, and Chastity and all Aaron's family, who had shot him daggers during the court case. He'd also have to see Paddy, who not long ago he'd approached to discuss seeing Aaron. Jackson was humiliated when he didn't receive a reply to his request for a visitors form, and hadn't seen Paddy since.

But then Jackson looked at the bill for his mobile phone, it was sixty pounds. His rent was five hundred, and his bank balance contained only half of what he needed. Jackson took the job.


Goldie's release was a sad day for Aaron. They'd hugged, uncomfortably, and Aaron had thanked him for everything. Goldie had even suggested he'd come and visit but Aaron knew it was a hollow suggestion. Goldie had a series of secret bank accounts that he intended to empty before taking his family and moving to Greece. It sounded like he would have a nice life.

"Well, the good news is that after seeing what Daniels did the other week, he seems to have decided to leave you alone." Goldie was correct. Other than a few looks, Daniels hadn't given him any of his time. In the few days after, Aaron had been convinced he'd be murdered in his bed. That never happened, and slowly, that constant fear of threat melted away into a low level anxiety. Aaron still wasn't sure he was safe, but at least he felt better than he had since arriving.

For three days, Aaron had the cell to himself. He loved it, felt for a time that he wasn't inside and really didn't miss the rattle of Goldie's snore. He was left Goldie's stash of cigarettes and a few books and he was like the king of the world as he alternated between the top and bottom bunk. He constantly chuckled to himself and felt that giddy high, similar to those days when Daniels had been locked away in solitary. It didn't last long enough, and before he knew it, Aaron came sharply back down to earth. It was the fourth day, when his prison guard came to tell him he was moving, that his pleasant break from reality was rudely interrupted.

"Get your things together, Livesy." Aaron was gently tilted onto the back legs of his chair, balancing precariously as he concentrated on the pages of his book. "Why?" Aaron frowned.

"Two new inmates are moving in here, you're bunking with someone else."

"Who?"

"Daniels."

The legs of the chair slide from under him and Aaron came crashing to the floor.


"I'm just saying, that's all." She had a point, Paddy couldn't disagree. He watched Chastity unfurl her legs on the sofa and place her cup on his coffee table. "Since he's been out, it's like it's no big deal," she leant forward slightly, closing the gap between them, "people have spoken to him about being gay, and nothing."

Paddy narrowed his eyebrows, "I wouldn't say it's been nothing."

"Yeah OK, he's been awkward. But considering he tried to kill himself before, he's had a remarkable change of attitude." Chastity was right. They'd all been terrified for Aaron when they'd explained the village knew of his sexuality. In prison, he and Chas had sat across, as calmly as possible, and tried to cast a positive spell on the situation. It hadn't worked and Aaron had fallen apart. In the end, he'd been taken away and Chastity and Paddy had spoken to his counsellor, making her aware of the truth. Their next visit had been uncomfortable but calmer.

"Maybe he's just had time to think it over?"

Chas chewed on her lip thoughtfully, "Yeah, maybe,"

"Look he seems fine, let's not make something out of nothing."

"Oh, OK," she curled her lip, "let's just forget about him being beaten within an inch of his life as well."

Paddy rested his head in his hand, "That's not what I'm saying. We will find out what happened, it will just take time for him to confide in us. As for him seemingly OK with being gay, so what? This is what we wanted, isn't it?"

"Yes," Chastity folded her arms.

"Then, let him be."