Chapter Nine: All Is Numb

Hermione's eyes fluttered open, and she suppressed a groan. She shivered involuntarily, and squeezed her mouth shut to quiet the sound of her incessantly chattering teeth. Her head was pounding worse than before, and trying to sit up wasn't even an option. She carefully rolled herself onto her other side using her elbows, and had to smother a squeak of surprise when her face ended up inches from her captors. Bellatrix was curled up into a fetal position on her left side, her thick black curls spread out on the floor behind her head. Her face was white as a sheet, her heavy eyelids looked dark with exhaustion, and her blood red lips were pursed in a scowl. Still, she looked quite vulnerable, and quite attractive.

Ignoring the strange draw to the older woman, Hermione pushed herself onto her back, and winced as the sensitive bruise on her scalp touched the stone floor. She tried to worry about Harry, about Ron, about Hogwarts, but the fluttering sound of deep-breathing next to her was distracting. Her eyes wandered over to Bellatrix once again, trying to make out the shape of her body, but the Death Eater was wrapped in a large black cloak that concealed any of her alluring attributes.

You're an idiot she scorned herself, you are going to die, and all you can think about is a lunatic woman's body parts. All she could do was lay still, wondering about what day it was, what condition the outside world was in, and so on. Hermione was so lost in thought that when a gruff voice addressed Bellatrix and something clattered to the floor of the cell, she didn't even look up.

"Fuck you, Fenrir." Bellatrix spat, looking up at her ugly colleague.

Greyback threw two plates of food through the bars, and Bellatrix winced at the sound of metal colliding with stone. "I'm not the one caged up with the Mudblood," he smiled smugly, baring his graying teeth.

Bellatrix drew her wand, a scathing look upon her face. "Crucio!" She smiled as he fell to the floor, deep, guttural screams emitting from his mouth.

At the sounds of the tortured screams of agony, Hermione sat upright. She saw stars, and had to balance herself on her hands for a moment. "Stop. Please." Her voice wasn't pitiful, but held a seriousness to it that Bellatrix hadn't expected. Bella kept the man writhing for a few moments longer, to show Hermione that her words meant nothing, and cackled maniacally as she ended the curse.

"You bloody worthless SLAG!" Fenrir screamed, his voice quavering slightly, "The Dark Lord will hear about this!"

"I don't think he would concern himself with your discomfort," she smiled, "Protego." She blocked his attempt at revenge lazily. Fenrir spluttered for a few moments indistinguishably, and stormed off.

Bellatrix turned to Hermione once he had disappeared. Instinctively, she had jumped back, and covered her face with one hand.

"You really are an idiot, aren't you?" Bellatrix said disgustedly, "Surely you've figured out that you're being kept as bait?"

Hermione shot her an incredulous look. "Really?" she queried sarcastically, "I thought I was here because you enjoyed my company."

Bellatrix delivered a stinging slap to her face. Hermione cowered away, drawing her knees to her chest, hiding her face with her hair like a child. The woman giggled at her despair.

"Misery becomes you…" Bellatrix said thoughtfully, "yet it will be quite interesting to see how you deal with the Dark Lord." Hermione didn't make a sound, trying to escape to the familiar, dark abyss of her mind.

"There is food being provided, I suggest you take advantage of what you can. It will be, after all, one of your last meals." The girl remained silent. Bellatrix frowned. Antagonizing her victims wasn't as enjoyable when they elicited no response. She wanted to make her scream…

Bellatrix tried another tactic. "Isn't it awful to think about Mummy and Daddy, so confused, so sad, not knowing where their poor, worthless daughter is? And how they'll weep over her mangled body, hidden away in a coffin beneath the dirt, where she belongs." The words hung in the air, static with their harsh delivery, and the anticipation was almost too much for the twisted Death Eater to handle.

Then Hermione laughed. A cold, bitter, hysterical laugh, which echoed eerily around the cell. It wasn't a derisive snort, or an attempt to seem indifferent, it was a laugh that brought tears of utter and absolute amusement to Hermione's eyes, and she laughed, until her muscles hurt, until she felt she couldn't laugh anymore, and still the torrents of guffaws came, taking Hermione on a rollercoaster of emotions, but the hysteria was ever present.

Bellatrix had seen many deranged and disturbing things, but she had to admit to herself that this was a first. She could do nothing but watch, almost tempted to join the odd behavior herself (as she so often did, to throw others off), yet something told her to not partake in it.

Hermione clutched her abdomen, still giggling, and made direct eye contact with Bellatrix. "You…" she tried to catch her breath, "You…you…think…" her face was flushed with an emotion she couldn't quite name, "they'd weep? She wants me in the dirt….I..I took him away from her…" she shook her head and smiled, as though explaining something to a toddler, "and he knows how horrible it is…..I am…it's so ridiculous…" she threw her head back, letting out two final laughs, "you think they'd be heartbroken…..how utterly ironic…". She wiped her 'joyful' tears away, and sighed heavily.

Bellatrix was at a loss for what to say, but pin-pointed the pain in the girls words, and decided to use that against her. It was the only way she could communicate, or even begin to understand another human being. "I'm sure your mother wants you dead, I would if I had to see your face on a daily bleeding basis." Her words were void of the usual malice that ignited them.

"Exactly!" The girl said, throwing her arms up in the air, her eyes shining.

What am I supposed to do? Argue? That would make her feel..better? If I agree I lead her to believe that I know she is worthless, but it's agreeing nevertheless. Bella simply would not give up her power in the situation, so she jumped to a different subject as quickly as she could.

"I'm not here to sit and watch you reminisce about your pathetic life. Quit spewing incessant bullshit that no one gives two damns about, and eat your food!" Her frustration was evident to the girl now, but she had to take it out on somebody.

Hermione felt an unbelievable amount of rage surge though her at this. She picked up the plate Bellatrix had shoved towards her, and hurled it against the wall with all her strength. The resulting sound made her confident in her physical strength, and at that rush of adrenaline, she saw red. Bellatrix opened her mouth to make another smug comment, but before she could, Hermione bellowed, "SHUT THE FUCK UP!" her breathing was short and heavy, "YOU INITIATED THE CONVERSATION! YOU THINK YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE THAT CAN HURT?!?!"

Bellatrix was taken aback by her abrupt mood-change, but reached for her wand instinctively. Hermione knocked it out of her hand, and punched her square in the nose. The pain was brief, but the river of blood that came gushing from her nostrils distracted her from her retaliation.

Hermione stood over her, shaking with fury, and just as quickly as the anger came, it dissipated. She unclenched her fists, and turned away from her. A wave of nausea swept over her instantly, and she vomited violently onto the plate of Bellatrixs untouched food.

"You little cunt," Bellatrix spat, and cuffed her around the back of the head, "You are so lucky I can't kill you."

Hermione snorted, and rubbed the back of her head to assuage the sharp pain. She fell to her knees, and crawled to the opposite end of the cell, away, away, away..

Bellatrix repaired her nose quickly with a wand flick, and did likewise with the blood and vomit. She approached Hermione, figuring that if the girl hated physical contact, she'd give her what she hated. The girl kept an even stare with her, watching her movements carefully, analytically, but not nervously. "What the fuck is wrong with you?" Was the only thing Bella could ask.

"I could ask you the same," Hermione answered, hollow agony returning to her voice, "but your reality is different. How could you possibly understand me, and I, you?"

Never, in her many hundreds of victims, had one tried to understand her. Why would anyone want to? Her self-conscious snuck up on her again.

"Where's the valor in there, girl? We're all self-serving, but the purebloods are the only ones who should have the privilege of adopting that behavior." Bellatrix responded, nose in the air.

"That's it, you're bigotry just answers all your questions for you, does it?" Hermione bit her lower lip, "Just go away."

"I won't be going away, as much as I'd relish to, for as long as you're here," Bellatrix snarled, "and if this.." she sat down next to her, breathing down her neck, "makes you uncomfortable, I'll make sure your stay here is as least comfortable as possible. It's what you deserve, you filthy mudblood."

Hermione jumped at the amount of closeness she was experiencing. She knew it was bad, but it wasn't as terrible as it would be if, oh, say, Bellatrix had decided to skin her alive, which Hermione was sure she had to have done to at least a few people in her time. Tired of responding to the woman's constant provocation, she reached for that place where she could just escape…inside her own head…

"None of that," Bellatrix smiled cruelly, poking a finger painfully into her side, "You're going to be here for this."

So she'd picked up on her defense mechanism. The only person that had ever read that deeply into her was a Death Eater. "That's just great." Hermione grumbled, curling in on herself.

"So how did you take Daddy away from Mummy?" Bellatrix asked, running a finger down the curve of her neck, and getting more enthusiastic as she felt the girls fear grow.

Hermione pursed her lips, and willed herself not to say anything. So much worry, so much covering, so much hiding, and this is where it all comes undone? No, she couldn't let this happen.

"Keep doing that.." Hermione sighed, as though in pleasure, "I love your hands on me." She leaned her back against Bella's body.

"Do you?" Bellatrix whispered in her ear, losing herself for just a moment, and pressed a kiss to the young woman's jawbone.

Just pretend with her like you pretended with him it will all be over soon no one will find out just pretend just pretend her mantra kept her sane. But something was different about this. When her father came to her room late at night, as fathers never should, it was so utterly horrible, there was no desire, just pain and restraint. But Bella's kisses were soft, gentle, moving to the curve of her neck, and she felt the urge she had felt the first time she had seen Lavender Browns naked body, only a hundred fold.

Bellatrix stopped, naturally, because the girl seemed to enjoy it. She needed her to be miserable. But she couldn't ignore how tempting Hermione was, partly because of her submissive attitude, her damaged soul, and the way her ivory skin had tasted on her tongue. She shoved the girl away, and calmed her breathing before speaking again, "You are nothing. Just a toy I can play with on occasion. Get used to it, it's the last thing you'll know."

The rejection of something she had craved so deeply for didn't hit Hermione immediately. She had shrugged indifferently, muttered, "I'll be dead soon anyways," and curled up on the floor once more, searching for sleep. As she slipped away, tremors wracked her body. Whether from the cold, the emotional exhaustion, or from the misery of it all, it wasn't apparent. Just a delayed physical reaction playing itself out in her sleep.

Bellatrix watched her jerk violently, but couldn't bring herself to enjoy it. Instead, she untied the heavy black cloak from her neck, and draped it over her prisoner. Hermione grabbed the edge of the cloak, and pulled it up to her chin, and murmured something incoherent. Once the tremors had subsided, Bellatrix took the cloak back, leaving no evidence her civil deed. She drew back into the opposite corner of the cell, and escaped to her dreams.

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Here you'll stay

Where lies are spread wide open,

And ties are not so strong.

That place you'll never find me,

I've already gone.