Sympathy Plot Device Cont.
By: I'm Not Wearing Any Pants
Baby die, Daddy cry. Repeat verse, same as the first.
SYMPATHY PLOT DEVICE CONT.
The Sewer King scowled and obsessed over a dying alligator, who was dying of some mysterious unknown disease that always shows up in these terrible fics.
"I can't protect you, woe is me, DADDY SAD!" he yowled, flapping his hands in the air. "Too bad I'm not a veterinarian."
He trembled with INSERT EMOTION HERE and went into a miles long exposition thought process flashback that this parody has turned into spoken dialogue.
"I did everything I could for you, which was mostly nothing. I'm a lazy fuck. Oh, and also my mother got sick and died years ago for the sake of woobifying me further and making me cry, so we're relating that back to my poor alligator pet, as usual. And now we flash back to my tragic childhood."
The story flashed back to Sewer King's tragic childhood which was so very sad, everyone needs to cry buckets right now. Stop laughing! Child abusers need love too!
Wendell Lewis, the boy who would be King, sobbed hysterically at the bed of his dying mother, suffering over there in the corner. Oh wait, no, he wouldn't go near her and refused to look at her. Um, okay.
"I WANT MORE TOYS!" he wailed. "WHY CAN'T YOU GET UP AND BUY ME MORE TOYS!"
"Please Jesus, take me away from this hell," moaned his mother. She sobbed. Then she died.
The Sewer King came back to the present and hugged the alligator and cried over its body and remembered how he loved it much more than his mother and then he slit his wrists over the dead alligator, his One True Love.
THE END
