Disclaimer……………………….I own nothing but Gwen, Phoebe and all that they are…………… JK. Btw, I hate the last book………………….. But I will always remain a happy harry potter fan up until the end of book six when all was right in the universe.
I hope you all liked Deathly Hallows. There may be minor spoilers here, I will keep on with this story and only as it comes to a close will I make the changes. There is only one small change in this fic, Severus Snape is Lily's hidden friend. Gwen, and Phoebe are still here friends, but I will add Mary Macdonald as a sixth year girl. Have fun, and I am sorry I gave two err kind of spoilers away. I'll shush now. Have fun and to those that will keep on with Never Let Me go, thanks, I'll keep writing if you want me too.
Fur Alle Tage: Always or for all days
Chapter Nine:Fur Alle Tage.
Dear Grendel and Mother:
I miss you so, and I want you to know that I'll never forget you or mum. I wish I could be there with you, I wish that I could never feel this pain of loss of you, but as Professor Dumbledore tells me, as long as I keep love and your memory in my heart, you live, live within me. Mum, you were so wonderful, even after our father walked out on us all, even though you were all you had, and we yours. I'm going to miss your delightful smile, your perfume that follows in your wake. Its hard to write this, to pin what I feel inside, but I cant say it, and I cant let anyone get close to me, I cant loose anyone again. I spend my nights either sleeping or talking to the headmaster, he's helped me grieve some, helped me realize that I cant keep much more bottled up inside me. Lily and James are such a big help, they've been like parents to me the last few weeks. Making sure that I eat, do my schoolwork. Don't get me wrong mum, your always going to be my mum, and I'm always going to miss you, but I need someone to help me through this, and as I… as I…. wont let him, I need them. Remus and Phoebe have helped me immensely too, Phoebe and Remus take the notes that I miss when I drift off in lessons. They're like my family really, all that I have left in the world. Father hasn't made contact, but why would he? Really? I mean I'm only a sixteen year old witch that has just lost her sister and mother to some evil bastard. Who needs me? He doesn't, that's for bloody sure. But I don't need him, nor do I want him either.
Its around the beginning of February now, the love holiday creeping upon the castle, you'd love it Gren. I miss you so, you were my little sis, my little sis. And now you've been ripped away from me, ripped from a life you could have lived happily. I'm sorry I couldn't be with you, that I wasn't there, I should have been, I should be dead. Every day I wake and know that I cheated death, cheated it one of the many souls I should claim in its new cruel reign. But I do know that I wont live through this war that has loomed up in front of us. I will join you in time. I just wanted to tell you both that even though your gone from this earth, gone to the land beyond it. I will remember you, always. Looks like Lily's back from her daily visit with Snape, I still don't know why she hangs out with that creep. Anyway, I'm going to go for now, I hope all is well.
Love, With all that I am,
Gwendolyn Rose Ackles.
I sat the quill down and walked over to Lily who had just returned form wherever she was with Snape. She was sitting on a table reading a recently pulled out book. Her hair was pulled back into a bun and she had an air of sadness around her.James was gone, all of the marauders were. And I wonder if that's why she is so sad. James obviously didn't approve of Snape and Lily's Friendship, I could be sure if I was either, twas kind of creepy.
"Hey Lils" I said sitting down next to her. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing." She sighed and burrowed her nose into the book farther.
"Lily, I'm here if you need me." I smiled tentatively at her.
"Aren't you still grieving?" Her eyes looked up at me over the thick book.
"I've gotten help with that. Between you, James, Phoebe, Remus and Dumbledore, I've gotten better."
"Dumbledore?" She asked confused.
"Yeah, I've gone to him lately to get some feelings out."
"Why Dumbledore?" her voice carried heavy tears on it.
"I didn't want to bother you any further is all, you've already been there for me so much. We decided to write out my feelings and send them away to them. Well, not really, but to send them off as if they were going to them. That's what this is." I held up my letter incased in an envelope.
"Oh, I understand." She sighed again.
"What's wrong Lily, I might be able to help." I smiled at her.
"Its, Severus. He, and I wont be friends much longer." a single shredded tear escaped her eyes.
"Why? What's wrong?" I asked worried. I'd known for years that her and Snape held a secret friendship that was only met once a month when the moon was full high in the sky.
"Did you hear what Micluber did to Mary Macdonald the other day?" tears were dripping in her voice.
"Yeah, was really horrible wasn't it?" I sighed as well. He had terrorized the poor girl in a dark deserted corridor, gave her a scar that would never heal.
"He's chosen his path, and I have mine. I will be with the side of the light when this is all over. And I fear that he, well, he's going to be a death eater." tears literally broke from her voice and eyes. I pulled her into a hug and let her cry.
Twas a few minutes later that Phoebe came down from our dormitory fully dressed with a heavy traveling cloak on. She stopped in front of us and sighed.
"Lily dear, He will see reason one day. You've just got to give it time." her soft voice calmed lily slowly down.
"Lils', I've got to go and send this letter off." I stood and walked over to the portrait hole.
"Alright. See you Gwen." She smiled and picked her book back up.
"Gwen, do you mind if I come?" Phoebe asked walking swiftly over towards me.
"Sure, Lily?" I turned to her.
"No, I'm going to just read ok." she smiled.
"Yeah, alright." I said as the portrait hole swung open and Phoebe and I Departed.
We walked in silence for a few minutes. Phoebe was her usual quiet self that walked on in confidence. When we reached the owlery, I walked in to find my tawny owl named Serpius, however he was nowhere to be found. I turned to Phoebe confused.
"Where is Serpius?" I asked her in a low fearful voice.
"I really dunno Gwen, you can use Remus's if you want?" She told me walking over to a handsome golden owl. "Hello Romulus." she petted the birds golden feathers. "How are you?"
He hooted and flew on top of her arm. She chuckled and smiled. Romulus, this is Gwen, Sirius's friend." the golden owl glared daggers at me. "She's Remus's friend too." she soothed it, and its glare soon receded. It flew over to me and sat on my shoulder.
"Well your too cute aren't you?" I asked it. It hooted again and flew swiftly to the window ledge.
"He must like you." she replied at the owls strange movements.
"Sure" I smiled. I walked over to it and tied the letter to its legs. It smiled softly at me and nipped my hand affectionately. "Take this too.. err… well, take this to someone you trust." I told him with not much else to say. I didn't know who Serpius took my letters too.
"Pad's we've got to get to moony, he needs us." came the close voice of James Potter.
"I know Prongs, its just that I need to be here tonight ok." He sounded albeit annoyed.
"Phoebe, here. Quick." I pulled her into a broom cupboard.
"Why? What's so important that you have to miss transforming to be with moony?"
'Transforming?' I thought cautiously. 'What?'
"Look, I'm waiting for something ok." Blacks voice seemed annoyed.
"What? Has this anything to do with those random letters you get?"
'Random letters?'
"Yes ok. It does."
"That's why were here then?"
"Yes, it is." He told James while scanning the owl stands.
"Who are you looking for?"
"An owl."
"What does it look like?"
"It's a tawny one."
"Err, Sirius, there are a lot of tawny ones, Just use Romulus. Remus isn't going to mind." he turned to find Romulus.
"No, I don't need to send the message. I need to receive it."
"Alright. Well its obvious that its not here ok. So lets just transform and go to Moony ok. I didn't just ditch Lily to go off with Snape for nothing."
"Fine Prongs, Fine." they left the owlery together.
"Transform?" I asked confused. "To go be with Remus? That makes no sense." I sighed exasperated as we untangled ourselves from the broom cupboard.
"Well, it must mean something, I just don't really know Gwen. Lets just go back to Lily ok." she made her way to the door.
"Nah, you go. I'm going to go for a walk." I sighed.
"Are you sure? You could be caught you know."
"Yeah, I do. But hey, what is life without risks ok?"
"Alright. But do come back in one whole piece ok?" she stood waiting for my answer.
"Promise" I smiled as she left. "Now" I said aloud to myself, "Transforming? Whatever could that possibly be? And to be with moony? I'll guess that I have to find out what this adventure might be of there's." I hummed and skipped from the owlery into the confines of the darkness that held all the secrets.
The moon cast an eerie shadow behind me. The two feuding marauders were just ahead of me when they suddenly disappeared. In they're place stood a magnificent stag and big burly black dog. The stag jumped off into the cloaks of darkness around the whomping willow. The dog was about to bound off after its friend when a slight breeze stoke up and swished my hair about my head. The dog sniffed the air as if it smelled something delicious, like an apple pie that had just been baked and was setting upon the window seal to cool. It sniffed deeply once more when a loud howl echoed the grounds of Hogwarts. A werewolf. I then suddenly realized that the howl was getting closer, and closer. The large dog sniffed the air again and took a running strait at me. It stopped just in front of me and yielded its large canine teeth and gave a loud bark. I yelped and fell back, the dog barked again and indicated for me to go back to the castle. I stood and began walking swiftly over to the oak doors. It occurred to me, that the large dog that was trailing just behind me urging me towards safety was Sirius Black, the large magnificent stag James Potter, and the werewolf that was following us and relatively close range was Remus Lupin.
Heartache ripped through me, poor Remus, twas so sad. I knew he got sick once a month, but this? This was horrible, just cruel. To happen to such a wonderful person, a talented and loyal friend of mine. The dog barked louder at me as we neared the oak doors, the raging howl just behind us now. Fear soon overtook my heartache and swallowed it whole. I was about to die. But wasn't dieing what I wanted, did I not want to be with Gren and Mum again? Maybe I should just stop here. But then Remus would be so sad, I couldn't let him live with the knowledge that he'd killed me. He'd get expelled and cast out of wizard society. I could never live with that on my conscience, he was too good of a friend of mine, I'd never be able to let him take fault for my sorrow. I'd hurt all of those who cared about me, Phoebe and Lily. James, and well, Sirius.
The dog barked louder as I reached the doors, I gave a large pull on the handle, they were locked. I looked at the dog in horror, they were open when I'd come down. The dog started growling viciously at something that was behind me, I turned and there stood a raging werewolf, amber eyes, light honey colored fur. There stood Remus Lupin, Moony, the werewolf reading to rip my life into shreds. I looked at him in horror, how could I do this to my friend, I should have listened to Phoebe, I should be up in the tower consoling Lily, but yet here I was, ready to die because of some stupid mistake I'd made. Oh poor Remus, poor sweet, sweet Remus, how could I have done this to him?
"Remus?" I said soothingly, "Its alright, you're a really nice werewolf huh? Just calm down." I squeaked. The growling dog was looking at me with a mixture of rage and confusion. A second later, the dog disappeared and there stood Sirius Black.
"Gwen, get your wand out very slowly ok?" he whispered to me with his eyes locked on Remus the werewolf.
"Alright." I squeaked and pulled my wand free from my cloak.
"Now listen, were going to send a stunning charm at him ok. He wont be effected that much, but just enough for you to get to the Quidditch pitch ok. James will be there waiting for you ok, he'll take you somewhere safe ok?" his eyes remained locked upon Remus the Werewolf.
"I'm sorry Sirius. I didn't mean to… I didn't mean for this to happen, I was taking a walk to clear my head, I'm so sorry."
"It's fine. Now on the count of three ok. One……… Two………… Three……….."
"Stupefy" our voices cried together. Remus was knocked into oblivion for a moment. In a flash Sirius was a dog again and I took off running to the Quidditch pitch. I didn't stop running the whole entire time. When I had arrive James was waiting for me in his stag form.
"James, I'm so sorry ok. I swear I didn't mean any of this." I squeaked.
It nodded its head and motioned for me to climb upon it. We took off from the pitch in the direction of Hagrid the gamekeepers hut. When we got there I dismounted and banged on the door. He opened and looked at me in confusion, then James came around the corner and ushered us all into the hut. We sat down quietly at the table, he sighed and spoke.
"I cannot stay long ok. Gwen, Remus is going to be hurt that you know. Please do not judge him, it was Greyback when he was a boy, he never wanted to hurt anyone, he just wanted to lead a normal life." James spoke quietly.
"James, I love Remus like a brother. I could never judge him, I feel so bad for this, so horribly bad. Please let me tell him that I know, I want him to know that I care and that I'm here for him." I squeaked.
"Alright. Padfoot should be here soon, Hagrid, please tell no one." James looked nervously up at the large burly man.
"Alrigh James, wou'nt say a fing'" Hagrid told James with a smile.
"Good, Gwen. We will come and get you when you can go back to the castle. I bet Lily is going nuts with the thought of you not returning." James stood and walked to the door.
"Alright." I smiled tentatively.
He returned the smile as a knock sounded upon the door. He pulled it open to find Sirius.
"Ok, he's back up at the shack, Peter is with him." he walked in exasperatedly. He rounded upon me with the most venomous glare, I recoiled and practically fell out of my chair.
"Why?" he whispered deadly.
"I…"
"Do you know what he's going to think when he finds out that he almost killed you? Do you?" he spat.
"I wont let him think that, because no ones going to tell him." I spat back at him.
"Oh really? And did you come to this conclusion on your own?"
"No Padfoot, we did." James spoke softly.
"He'll hate us." He said angrily to James.
"So, so what if he does. He dosent need to know this, not yet he doesn't." James replied with a shrug.
"Fine." Sirius growled and marched back to the door, swung it open and left the hut. I started to tear up, I didn't mean for this all to happen.
"Gwen, just calm down ok. He'll be only mad for a little while." and with that he followed Sirius off into the darkness.
"Well, less get'cha some sleep alrigh?" Hagrid asked.
"No, that's alright Hagrid. You get some, I'll be alright ok?" I squeaked with tears rolling down my cheeks.
"Alrigh'. But don' leave alrigh' James'll have me head. Sirius to" He said thoughtfully.
"I wont Hagrid." I smiled softly through the curtain of tears that surrounded my face.
"Nigh' then" He walked over to his bed that was through the little hallway and shut his door.
I didn't know where I was, all I knew was that it was morning light. I was being carried somewhere and there was a little felt surface above me. I opened my eyes and struggled to see who my carrier was, to my shock and slight confusion it was Sirius. He looked down at me with a little bit of anger in his eyes that was mixed with a thoughtful expression. I shuddered and tried to shrink away. However it did little good as he was carrying me closely. I reached up to touch the felt above my face, it was slithery and silky, and to my astonishment, it was an invisibility cloak. I suddenly hiccupped and he looked down at me once again, the anger was slowly leaving his eyes, there was only a little tinge of it now. He sighed and spoke.
"Gwen, why'd you follow us last night?"
"I… I dunno. I wont tell a soul, I swear."
"I know, I know. He's not going to be too happy when you tell him though." he sighed again in sadness.
"Well, I'll beat him tell he realizes that he's still a good friend." I tried to smile. He smiled slowly back and said softly,
"I'm sorry I was so mad last night."
"It's alright. You had every reason to be mad."
"Want to walk now? No offense Gwen, but your not that light ok?" he smiled.
"Sure, I was wanting to anyway." I smiled again.
"Cool" He laughed and set me upon the earth carefully, to ensure that we were both remaining under His Invisibility cloak.
"Nice cloak." I said as we began to walk again. We were near the oak front doors.
"Its James's, not mine."
"Well, James has an neato cloak." I laughed.
"Yeah, I'll pass the message on" We had reached the castle, we opened the door and walked into the entrance hall. We walked in silence until we reached the fat lady.
"Password?" She asked us softly after Sirius slid off the cloak.
"Turtlenutt bubble pants" Sirius said with a grin.
"When did the password change that?" I asked him with a laugh as we walked into the common room.
"Gwendolyn Rose Ackles, where the bloody hell have you been. And who the bloody…." Lily stopped as she seen Sirius.
"What?" I asked confused.
"Why the bloody hell didn't you tell me that?" she asked with fire in her eyes.
"Tell you what?" I asked even more confused. Why is she, what? Oh, it suddenly dawned upon me, she thought that..
"Lily, it's not like that." Sirius said with a stony face.
"Right." I supplied with a smile. "Now I'm going to go get ready for classes ok?" I asked walking over towards the girls staircase.
"Alright." Lily smiled.
"See you later Ackles" Sirius said with a kind smile that told me he'd wished I'd not go.
"See you Black"
Ok………… this ends chapter nine, the next will be Remus's reaction and Phoebe's discovery of Remus the Werewolf. Don't worry, it'll be wicked, promise. I hope you liked this chapter, I felt the need to tell the story from Gwen's prospective due to I never do. Don't worry, her and Sirius will be fighting again before long, guess who gets her letters to her parents, even though she used Romulus. Hope Book seven was good for you, see you next time, I hope to have the next chapter up soon
Love X 1000, Violetpastprime
Here's a little smiling thing for ye!
When
I do count the clock that tells the time,
And see the brave day
sunk in hideous night;
When I behold the violet past prime,
And
sable curls all silver'd o'er with white;
When lofty trees I see
barren of leaves,
Which erst from heat did canopy the herd,
And
summer's green all girded up in sheaves,
Borne on the bier with
white and bristly beard,
Then of thy beauty do I question make,
That thou among the wastes of time must go,
Since sweets and
beauties do themselves forsake
And die as fast as they see others
grow;
And nothing 'gainst Time's scythe can make defence
Save
breed, to brave him when he takes thee hence.
Sonnet Twelve William Shakespeare
