Video Games

Duchess Wednesday groaned.

The Days were standing outside a McDonald's someplace called the United State-Territory-Thing of Whatever after their mishap the United British and English Kingdom of Wales.

Okay, that's not really what the countries were called, but it was difficult for them to remember such mortal names, and Saturday, Friday, and Monday, (who managed the records and thus knew that they were really named) wouldn't tell because they found Thursday, Wednesday, Tuesday, and Sunday's confusion hilarious.

The reason the rulers of the Universe were standing in front of a fast-food restaurant was because Saturday wanted to 'rent' a 'movie,' and there was a magical crimson rectangle called a "Red Box" that would spew out a film for them to watch. Unfortunately, the Days couldn't agree on what deserved the huge honor of being the chosen flick for the Morrow Days' movie night.

"I am not watching a chick flick!" Sunday growled. "Sorry, Friday, but that movie's out of the question!" He pointed at the screen. "Let's watch that."

"A Barbie movie?" Saturday squinted. "I thought you outgrew those."

"Next to it! The Star Wars movie!" Sunday hissed.

"Sci fi? Like, ew," Friday said.

"I love sci fi," Saturday said. "Just not Star Wars. I want to watch Ender's Game."

"We all know you're sadistic and have a thing against children," Sunday rolled his eyes, "but just because you want to watch a movie where children are forced to commit genocide without knowing it doesn't mean we do."

"I don't have a thing against-"

"Washing between the ears!" they all chorused.

"You don't get to pick anyway," Thursday added. "After you forced us to watch the Twilight Saga, you've proven yourself untrustworthy."

"But you liked the Harry Potter ones!" Saturday whined.

Wednesday shrugged. "Can we please just pick one and go?"

Then, either because Tuesday was bored and wanted out of there, or just didn't know what was going on, he somehow rented every movie at once. "Let's decide back in the House," he said, carrying an armful of discs.

Monday picked up another bunch. "Oh, look here- Wipeout for Wii. And Wii Sports. Video games."

"I want to try video games!" Friday exclaimed.

"We don't own a Wii," Thursday scowled.

"Oh, don't be such a party pooper," Friday said. "We can get one. Dur."

"…Dur?" Thursday repeated.

"Yes. It's an elegant word. 'Dur,'" Friday said.

"Shut up!" Saturday snapped. As usual when the Days went out, some small children were pointing at them demanding why most of the Seven had such weird, flamboyant hair colors and were so freakishly tall. Saturday hated children. With a passion.

A boy tugged at Friday's sleeve. "Are you done? We want to rent something," he pouted.

"Be my guest," Tuesday said, dropping the discs. "Let's just go to Game Stop and pick up a copy of whatever game you want."

"Fine by me," Wednesday said, thanking her lucky stars she was a brunette and thus going near-unnoticed by the children.

"OH MY GOSH IT'S AN AQUARIUS COSPLAYER FROM FAIRY TALE!" someone screamed. "AND NEXT TO HER- IT'S OROK FROM SUIKODEN V!"

"Can we get out of here?" Saturday said.

"Okay," Sunday shrugged. "Back to the House!"

"NO!" the fan whined as all seven somehow magically disappeared, leaving behind some very stunned children. "OROK AND AQUARIUS… WHERE'D YOU GO?"


The first thing on the Glorious Video Game Night of the House's agenda was acquiring gaming consoles. This was quite easy. One would think that the Grim would simply copy them, but- as it turns out- Saturday was a huge fan of Nintendo. Who knew?

Not only that, but Friday seemed to have been taken with PSP's (and Pokémon, for some reason), and Tuesday already owned an X Box and a TV. That solved that problem.

"Welcome to the Glorious Video Game Night of the House!" Sunday exclaimed.

"We really need to stop putting 'Glorious' in front of everything we do," Tuesday said.

"And putting 'of the House' at the end," Wednesday continued.

"But everything we do is Glorious and of the House," Sunday replied, a bit confused.

"I want to start the night with Call of Duty," Thursday said. "Or Half-Life. Or even Portal."

"I want to play Dragon Quest," Saturday sniffed, "or Final Fantasy, or Kid Icarus, or-"

"YOU DON'T GET TO PICK!" the other six shouted.

"Hmph." She drew back and whipped out her 3DS, angrily pressing buttons. On the screen, a little boy in an emerald tunic kept chucking bombs at some green-haired girl in similar dress (minus the ridiculous hat) who kept smiling. "Be that way."

The first game they tried ended up being Super Smash Bros, Brawl. It took them a while to figure out how the controls worked, and they spent a good hour just having their characters jump up and down and move side to side before they got the hang of it. There being seven of them, and only four being able to play at a time, Wednesday and Friday took Monday and Tuesday's place every couple minutes. Saturday refused to play, busy trying to find a cheat code to make her character's green tunic blue.

"You know, if you get past the Ice Cavern, you get a blue tunic," Sunday said.

"Hmph." Saturday scowled, but then muttered, "Ice Cavern, huh?"

Friday picked Princess Zelda to be her character, and thus lost almost every time. Apparently, Zelda may have been wise as a goddess, but she sure had no idea how to fight. Then, in frustration, Friday attempted to smash the Wii remote on Thursday's head, as Thursday was winning (by a huge landslide). Somehow, breaking very slim odds, this pressed the exact combination to turn Zelda into Sheik, whose style was new to everyone and thus nearly unbeatable.

Friday won after that.

The next game was something about shooting aliens. This was called off when Wednesday, unable to handle the huge amount of gore, threw up.

After that, they attempted Scene-It, which was really a board game pretending to be a movie and couldn't be counted as a video game. But they didn't know this. Since none of the Morrow Days had actually seen half the movies being brought up on the screen save Saturday (who was still refusing to play), this quickly grew boring.

Mario Kart proved a disaster, especially since they all kept driving off the track and falling into abysses. Formula One was just as catastrophic, as Monday was the only one who figured out how to drift and thus the only one able to take the turns without reversing, backing up, and trying it again. Rinse and repeat. Monday ended up driving laps around them, which didn't do anything for their pride. Especially Sunday's. At that point, he stopped playing, having decided he hated losing, and watched Saturday run around in the Forest Temple, clearly stuck.

"You know, it would be cooler if our movements could control the game," Friday said. "Like, if I move my hand, the game avatar moves her hand."

"It's called a KiNect," Saturday said, not looking up.

"Well, we have magic," Tuesday said. "I'm sure we could mess around with it."

"Yay!" Friday squealed. "I'll cast it!"

"NO!" came the shout, but it was too late.


When Saturday opened her eyes, she was wearing a green tunic. Some weird pulsing music was floating around ambivalently, and her head hurt. She stood, not at all pleased at the change in wardrobe, and then screamed.

She was inside the Forest Temple.

"Drat that Friday!" she hissed.

"Hey! Hey! Listen!"

"SHUT UP, NAVI!" she yelled, and swiped at the little blue ball. It yelped and shot above her, out of reach.

"I'm NOT Navi," the ball said indignantly. "It's me, Lord Sunday."

Saturday clutched her sides laughing.

"What's so funny?" Sunday asked, bouncing up and down on her head. "Come on, we have to get out of here."

"Easier said than done," Saturday said, wiping a tear from her eye. Then she sighed, and her gaze fell on Sunday again. She burst out laughing once more.

"It can't be that funny!" Sunday exclaimed.


Friday and Wednesday were stuck in Call of Duty.

"Oh, you're kidding me," Wednesday moaned. "I hate shooters." She screamed as a bullet whizzed past her ear and dove into a trench, clutching a rifle to her chest and shivering. "This is your fault."

"Yeah, it is." Friday carefully aimed and eliminated an enemy sniper. "Are you having fun?"

"HECK NO!" Wednesday shouted.

Friday pressed a finger to her lips. "Shut up. You'll give away our position."

"IT'S ALREADY GIVEN AWAY! THAT'S WHY THEY'RE SHOOTING AT US!"

"Wow, for a commander of a navy, you suck at war," Friday said.

"Navy battle is not the same as ground combat!" Wednesday hissed.

"There's a sailor here?"

Wednesday and Friday turned around to see there was a third person in the ditch. "Uh, yeah," Wednesday said. "That'd be me."

"Who deploys a sailor into ground combat?" the soldier asked.

"Precisely," Wednesday said. "Friday, how do we get out of here?"

"We have to beat the level, that's all," Friday said. "Oh, and not die. Because if we do, our code will be deleted from the game. Permanent death and whatnot."

"Oh. That's scary. But at least we don't have mortal limitations."

"We have the limitations of the people in the game," Friday said, "so, yes, mortal limitations."

"You won't have to worry about enemy soldiers killing you," Wednesday said.

"Why not?"

"I'm going to do it for them."


Tuesday, Monday, and Thursday found themselves in Formula One. All in one car. With Monday in the driver's seat, and Thursday and Tuesday crammed in the passenger's. They didn't even know that race cars had passenger seats.

"Shoot," Thursday said. "We're dead."

"That about sums this up," Tuesday said. "Let me drive, Monday."

"No, I'm the in the driver's seat!" he shot back. "Wait your turn."

"Monday-"

"Start your engines!" the voice called.

"Oh, yeah," Monday said, turning the key.

"GOOO!'

"Weeeee~" Monday called as he floored the pedal.

"Drift, drift, drift!" Thursday shrieked, and then proceeded to scream like a little girl.

"Calm down, I know what I'm doing," Monday said, executing the move perfectly.

"Oh," Thursday said, voice very small. "Well, maybe we can win the race like that."

Monday rolled his eyes. "I told you, I know what I'm doing."


Saturday finished executing a spin attack and flipped the hat in satisfaction. "Hmm, not bad," she said, hefting the sword. "Feels almost like an umbrella."

"Stop wasting time and go beat the stupid temple," Sunday said.

"Yes, that will get us out," Saturday said. "What a juvenile spell, Friday. Quite too easy to figure out, dissect, and identify."

"So, you can beat this temple, right?" Sunday asked.

"Erm, I'm a little stuck," Saturday admitted. "I can't figure out where the key to this one door is, and without that I can't unlock the boss chamber, so-"

"Argh!"

The two of them were standing on the bridge of the Forest Temple, one a perfect place for romantic proposals. This was the farthest thing from their minds, however, especially when some sort of squid popped out and spewed a rock at them.

Saturday flicked out her shield, and the rock bounced harmlessly away.

"Let's go left," Sunday said.

"All right, then," Saturday replied, and headed distinctly right.

"I said left!" Sunday exclaimed.

"I know," Saturday said, "but I've already gone left, and there's nothing to do there. The key is probably right."

"Only 'probably'?" Sunday challenged.

"Actually, I have the dungeon map," Saturday said, pulling out a piece of paper. Or, at least, she tried to. At least twenty arrows, wooden nuts of some sort, and hundreds of tiny little gems fell out. "Whoops. Er, that'd be my items." She shoved them all back in her pockets, including a bottle with a fairy in it.

Sunday gulped.

"See?" Saturday brandished the paper and pointed. "We're right here, in the flashing room. The treasure chest is there, to our right. That's where the key is."

"Are you sure?"

"Definitely," she said.

At that moment, a shadow fell over them. Saturday looked up and barely had time to jump out of the way as a giant hand clamped down where she'd been standing a moment ago. "That is a wall master," she said, breathing heavily, "and that would not be nice to run into."

"Why's it called a wall master if it drops from the ceiling?" Sunday asked.

"I don't know. I didn't name the enemies," Saturday snapped. "Come on."

They trudged through the temple until they reached the room. The second they were in it, the door shut behind them, and bars slammed over it. At the same time, two hideous skeletons popped up in front of them.

"Eew, they look like Friday in the morning," Sunday said. "Kill them!"

Saturday attempted a spin attack, but the skeletons had shields, which easily blocked it.

"Do something!" Sunday ordered.

"I'm working on it!" She reached into her pockets and somehow yanked only the nuts. "Eat deku, idiots!" She threw the nuts at the skeletons, and they exploded with a flash of yellow.

The skeletons were frozen, and then quite easy to dispatch.

A chest appeared in the middle of it. Saturday flicked it open, then spent a tediously long time reaching in, pulling out its contents, and thrusting it in the air. "I got the Boss Key!" she said happily.

"What… the… heck," Sunday said.

Saturday dropped her hand down with a gasp. "Oh, my Architect! I'm acting like Link! We have to get out of here before I lose my ability to talk!"

"Or you could take your time, sweetie," Sunday said.


"So, how do we beat the level?" Wednesday asked.

"We have to kill all the enemy."

"That's it?"

"Yup." Friday jumped out of the ditch and started shooting wildly. "Blam blam blam blam blam!"

Wednesday poked her head out, had a look around, and ducked back down as a bullet shot over her head. "I can't do this!" she said.

"Get out and fight!" said the soldier next to her. "Or did you enlist not prepared to kill?"

"I didn't enlist," she shot back.

"Oh, a draft. Well, sorry. I didn't know they're resorting to drafting women," he snorted, and pulled the string of a grenade with his teeth.

"Oh my Architect, that's going to explode!" she screamed.

The soldier threw it, and it blew up several seconds later. "Yes!" He grinned at the screams that ensued. "Just a couple of the varmint left."

"How can you talk like that about people?" Wednesday said.

"It's us or them, princess."

"I'm a duchess!"

"Sure you are."


Monday was easily first. How he suddenly got so good at the game, Tuesday and Thursday didn't know, but they sure were glad.

"I hate this," Tuesday said, but it sounded more like, 'I heawt dis,' due to the G-force. Luckily for them, however, Monday maintained a solid, strong lead, crossing the finish line in record time.

"Yes!" they cried. Then, "No!" as they kept on going.

"It's a three-lap race," Monday exclaimed.

"Oh, I see," Tuesday said. Thursday was sniffling softly and rocking back and forth.

"Is he all right?"

"He's claustrophobic and afraid of being in cars," Tuesday said. "He'll get over it."

The next lap was uneventful, and so was the third, until about half-way, when the second-place racer got a little dirty. He slammed his car against theirs, somehow got tacks to throw, and even a Mario-esque cannonball.

"This is Formula One! Where'd this crap come from?" Monday said, performing a complicated slalom to avoid the traps laid out. Luckily, they still managed to cross the finish line in one piece, and found themselves on the couch two seconds later. Monday and Tuesday high-fived.

"I can't believe we did it!" they said.

Thursday immediately knelt down and began kissing the floor.

After several minutes of Saturday solving a giant block puzzle, it seemed her stay in the game was reaching a dangerous length. She was unable to talk, and Sunday found himself screaming, "Hey! Listen! Hey! Hey!" at random things neither of them cared about.

By the time she reached the boss, it didn't surprise either of them when she started shouting, "Hyah! Ha!" and striking Link's classic moves. At least they managed to kill the boss and land back in the real world.

"We made it out alive! I can talk again! Heck, I'm me again! And you're not a fairy!" Saturday exclaimed, and hugged Sunday. Then her eyes widened and she drew away. "Or… maybe I'm not quite myself yet."


Friday and Wednesday weren't having such great luck. The last sniper was notoriously good, and he kept switching position.

"Stay… still… so I can kill you!" Friday seethed, trying to aim but finding it impossible.

Then Wednesday noticed something no one else quite did, either because they were too busy firing at the sniper or weren't very intelligent (after all, they were programs in a computer). She aimed her rifle at a lone building, and pulled the trigger.

The entire thing blew up.

"What was that?" Friday asked.

"Dynamite," Wednesday said.

"Shooting at dynamite makes it blow up? That doesn't make logical sense."

"It's a video game. None of it makes logical sense."

And then back onto the couch.

"I'm alive!" Wednesday exclaimed. "Dear Architect, I'm alive!"

"Yes, you are," Friday said.

"No thanks to you," Wednesday said sourly.

Saturday immediately swept up all the video games and locked them in a chest. "That's it!" she declared. "We're done playing games!"

At least, that's what she said. But the other six found her prying it open and thrusting the contents towards the sky a week later, proclaiming, "I've got Nintendo video games!"


A/N: Hope you liked it! If you did, please review. If you didn't, review anyway!

I'm willing to take prompts, though I am a busy person. I will get to each and every prompt submitted, but it may take a while.

DarkPaladin000, I made some references to your KttK: Abridged Series and your KttK Abridged: Revamped. I hope you're okay with that.

More coming soon!
~Dragonlord Stephi