Disclaimer: I do not own Saiyuki or its characters, all I own is Gota.

Hello everyone! Sorry for taking so long. Major writer's block, but I finally pulled through it! :D Doc Manager didn't let me upload this chapter until I removed one of the chapters from the list. Please enjoy!


~Fear~

The weather has been getting very cold as of late. As Hakkai drove Hakuryu down a dirt road, Gota stared at the sky. Not a blue in sight. It was covered by light grey clouds and Gota was getting a bad feeling about them.

"Ne, Hakkai-sama?"

"Yes, Gota-chan?"

"Do you think it's going to rain soon?"

"…I don't think it's going to rain, but it's going to do something."

He remembered how terrified Goku was of frozen rain, and wondered if it was going to be a similar issue with Gota. It was quiet in Jeep. Sanzo was taking a nap, Gojyo was day-dreaming with an unlit cigarette in his mouth, and Goku was staring off into space.

Gota's voice snapped Gojyo out of his trance and he listened to the short conversation. He noticed Hakkai didn't want to say exactly what the sky was up to. He also remembered what a pain that day was. Even food didn't bring Goku out of his fear of snow.

Gota took Hakkai's answer and stared at the passing yards of grass that were on each side of the dirt road. A sea of light brown. Gota sat back and lay her head on Goku's shoulder. Goku woke up from whatever he was thinking about when he felt Gota on his shoulder.

"The grass."

He looked over and stared at the passing brown sea for a moment.

"What 'bout it?"

"It's dead."

"Yeah." he paused to look at his sibling. "It's too cold for 'em. Th' earth is gettin' ready for winter."

"Hm." was Gota's answer before she took a pause. "Hakkai-sama, when will we get to the next town?"

"Well according to the map, we should almost be there."

"Ya said that an hour ago…" Goku commented.

"We really are almost there." Hakkai smiled. "See?"

The twins stood up and looked ahead. A town could be made out and drawing ever closer. Gota felt relieved. If what Goku said was true, she didn't want to be outside when it started. Snow…

"Ahh…" Gota sighed when she landed on her temporary bed.

She was able to get her own room, since there were enough rooms for five people. Honestly, she liked it better when she shares a room with her brother, because that way he's there. It's hard to feel like you're alone when there's someone right beside you…She looked out the window and let out a sigh of relief. Then she heard whining beside her bed and remembered that she didn't let Akiba out of his cage yet. She unlocked the cage and apologized to him while petting him. Akiba immediately jumped at Gota and happily licked her hands while wagging his tail. She remembered what the caretaker behind the counter had said to her when she got him.

'This little one just showed up one day in the display window. It looked to be a stray, so we gave him a well deserved bath…'

"In that case, you should know what it's like," she talked to the pup.

Akiba looked at her in confusion, slighting tipping his head to the side. She picked him up and sat on the bed. On the other side of her closed door, Goku clutched the handle preparing to open the door.

"…How cold the snow is." he heard his twin say.

Goku paused, his hold still on the door handle.

"It's awful." he continued to listen. "When it snows, everythin' becomes quiet. You don't even hear th' birds sing. Everythin' is blindinly white, and it gets so cold I feel like I'm goin' to die. It's so quiet…so quiet…I can't stand it! But I can't speak…it's like my voice was stolen by the soundless white…"

Not able to hear her talk like that any longer, Goku opened the door and called out her.

"Gota!"

She whipped her head to the side to look at her twin.

"You know what I'm talkin' about, too."

"Lunch is almost done." he changed the subject. "C'mon, let's go eat."

He stood beside her, while she paused before she answered him.

"No thanks, I'm not hungry."

She kept her head down while she spoke, as Akiba whined sensing something was wrong.

"Gota," Goku reached out and placed his hand on hers. "Let's go eat."

She looked up and caught his eyes. It was as if they were saying,

'It's ok. Nothing will hurt you.'

…And she believed them.

"…Okay." she gave him a little smile.

Goku returned it with a bigger smile and tightened his hand on hers to lead her down to the eating area. The twins were the first to an empty table. Gojyo was next and sat down next to Goku, then was Sanzo, who sat opposite of Gota and last came Hakkai, who sat between Gojyo and Sanzo. The food was brought to them after they ordered and for once, the group was silent for more than half of lunch.

Then something caught Gota's eye in the window behind Sanzo. She stared out the window and waited to see if it happened again.

It started…

Gota tried to keep calm and went back to her food in discomfort. Unfortunately for her, Sanzo was second to almost immediately notice her discomfort; Goku was the first.

Gojyo broke the silence when he leaned back in his chair and breathed a fulfilled sigh.

"That was some good food." he said in a fairly 'someone-talk' kind of way.

"Yes, it was." Hakkai answered in a 'not-now' kind of way.

Gota took a silent deep breath which she held in for a moment and Goku immediately noticed that she was starting to tremble.

"Gota," he started as he took one of her hands.

He felt her slightly jump when he touched her.

"Let's go back to the room."

Gota felt her voice lock into her throat as she was about to reply to him, so she merely nodded as her answer. With that, the siblings left for Goku's room with Goku leading the way and leaving part of their food to waste on the table. Something was obviously wrong here and Hakkai was the third to notice.

Gota continued to tremble as she sat on the floor, leaning against Goku's bed. She nestled her face into her lap as her legs were brought up to her chest. His bed was the closest thing to the window. Beyond the window the snow fell steadily as Goku stared at it, remembering what he thought of it before his friends were able to get him to make his first footprint in the snow.

'It's almost scary how quiet it is…and cold…and bitter…Just endless white. It was too stark; too empty and it shut me away.'

'No one was around…I wanted to call out to someone, but who would answer…? I was locked in a world where only I existed…I'm afraid…'

He knew that's how she felt and what she was thinking at this moment. So he took his blanket off his bed, sat down next to her and wrapped the blanket around them both. A good ten minutes went by before he spoke to her.

"Tell me what you want."

He noticed she tried to tell him something a couple of times now, but she wouldn't speak. She paused for a moment to finally find her voice again.

"Don't leave me." she replied.

Goku knew that meant she wasn't going to be sleeping in her room tonight.

"…Not again."

Again? What does that mean? Goku's been with her ever since they found in her prison. Especially since she stuck to him like glue. So then…what's the 'again' about?

"You remember that day, don'tcha?" Gojyo asked the remainder of the group.

They were now hanging around the sitting area; Gojyo and Sanzo smoking, while Hakkai drank some hot sake.

"He went into the snow only when you insulted him." Hakkai replied.

"His fear of snow lifted pretty easily after that." Sanzo added.

"And now you're telling me that his twin is afraid of snow, too?" Gojyo said. "I don't get what can be so scary."


"Don't tell me we have to do this again."

Gojyo walked around the inn with Hakkai following at his side.

"It's a good thing Goku's room is on the first floor." Hakkai stated. "Otherwise this would be a bit difficult."

Sanzo smoked his cigarette as he trended along a few feet behind them. He knew Gota didn't want his encouragement, but…Why was he doing this again?

"Ding Dong Ding…"

Goku's eyes slightly widen to hear Gojyo's muffled voice outside of the closed window; just as he heard all those years ago. Gota turned her head to look at Goku and saw a smile that spelled that she was going out into the snow. She didn't like the look of that…

"Paging the following stupid monkeys…" Gojyo continued.

Hearing that, Goku stood up and started toward the window.

"Ms. Stupid Monkey come to the front desk, I repeat: Ms. Stupid Monkey come to the front desk!"

Goku tore open the two windows.

"Cut it out, Gojyo an' quit calling her stupid!"

"Hey, I was calling Ms. Stupid Monkey not Mr."

"I said quit calling her stupid!"

Gota stood up, keeping the blanket around her and walked as close to the open window as possible without her whimpering at the sight of falling snow.

"What are you doing out there, Gojyo-san?" she asked noticing the other two near him. "Aren't you guys cold?"

"We're playing a game called," Gojyo bent down, scooped up a hand full of snow and rolled it up into a ball. "Snow ball fight."

Huh? What kind of name was that? Gota only stared at him in confusion, until she suddenly noticed a ball of snow hurling straight at her! Goku quickly stepped in front of her and took the fragile ball of snow to the forehead, in which he grunted when it hit.

"Gojyo! Stop it! Hey…!"

Another ball of snow hit him, this time on the arm. Goku opened his mouth to protest some more, but yet another hit him on the chest.

"That's it…! You're goin' down!"

With that, Goku jumped out the window and lunged at Gojyo, grabbing snowballs and hurling at him as Gojyo did the same. Gota saw that Goku looked back at her with soft eyes and a smile before going into the cold and she reached out for Goku as he jumped out the window. She clutched at the blanket around her seeing as she was alone in the room.

"Come on, Gota!" she looked up to Hakkai who threw a ball at Goku. "It's fun!"

She placed a hand on the windowsill as Goku protested at Hakkai for throwing a snowball at him. She clutched the windowsill, almost preparing to jump out the window and join them.

Well…it does look like fun…

"Aah~ No! I can't!" she kneeled down under the window and pulled the blanket over herself. "I just can't! It-It's just…"

It's too cold!

All of a sudden, Rin pulled at the blanket with a small:

"Kyuu!"

And then she saw a ball of brown fur lunge out the window and started jumping around everyone while barking his head off. Everyone looked like they were having fun. Jumping around and laughing…A ball of snow exploded at the rim of the windowsill almost hitting her hand which was once again placed there.

"You coming out or not?"

She spotted Sanzo with a snow ball, which he threw in the air and caught with one hand.

"Stupid Monkey."

A bit of blush rushed to her cheeks, then her world went blind for just a second. She felt her body become cold all of sudden and she saw her breath as she cried out:

"Don't call me a monkey, Priest!"

She heard a muffled crunch when her shoe landed on the snow. Her eyes widened as she heard a few more all coming from her shoes. She looked down in surprise, now noticing what she has done. Goku lunged at her, glomping her and hugging her tightly.

"You did it!" he cried.

Goku gave her a wide smile. Gota smiled back, putting all her weight on him and causing his back to fall onto the snow.

"See? The snow's not that bad, is it?" Gojyo asked walking closer to the twins.

Gota shook her head.

"But there is one thing…" she trailed off.

She scooped up a ball of snow and hurled it at Sanzo.

"That's for calling me a monkey!"

Sanzo shielded his face with his arm, which the snowball exploded on. Then he smirked, still shielding his face. Sanzo and Hakkai managed to get away as the twins and Gojyo continued on with the snowball fight.

'I can't believe I'm playing in the snow!' Gota thought. 'I guess I should have expected it…After all, I'm not locked up in a cage anymore.'

Hakkai smiled at the childish scene exploding in front of him, as he watched from the warmth of his temporary room. Sanzo watched from his own room as well, merely emotionlessly staring, but if you look closely, he held a smile within.

He went into deep thought, leaning against the side of the window. Why did those two have to be separated…?

'They never gave me a real reason…' Sanzo thought. 'One I couldn't control…Bullshit. She was as obedient as Goku…'

Sanzo continued to think until he heard a sudden:

"Brr~ Hakkai-sama, I'm freezing!"

He looked at the clock resting on the wall near his bed. An hour has passed since Gota went out into the snow.

"How about I see if I can get you some hot soup?" Hakkai asked the twins.

"Yes please!" they recited.

With that, Hakkai disappeared into the eating area. The twins ate in Goku's room and Gota still ended up sleeping beside Goku. She lay in bed, snuggled up to Goku's back for extra warmth as she felt him fall asleep. She caught the look of Hakkai and Sanzo through their rooms when she was playing. Sanzo looked as happy as Hakkai did.

'He was definitely not smilin' at Goku…' she thought unable to sleep. 'I don't understand…He locked me up again because he didn't like me…right? And he was definitely not happy when Hakkai-sama freed me. So why? Why did he look happy while lookin' at me?'

'What is it?'

Both Sanzo and Gota's mind went through the same thoughts.

'Why did you have to put me back?'

'Why did I have to put her back?'


Yay! Chapter 9 is finally up! Needed a bit of help from the anime. There are quotes from episode 16 of Saiyuki Reload. I honestly don't like this crappy chapter. I hope someone gives me some feed back on this chapter, cause I really think I did an awful job with this one.

Anyway! Chapter 10 is already in progress. So the next chapter won't take as long to be uploaded, promise! ^.^