DISCLAMER: I dont own anything... lyrics arn't mine.
Hey guys, sorry it soo frickin' long… I've been swamped, then my muse took a trip to DP… which I have another chapter done for, but im writing this instead of typnig that… anyway's, you can all thank Merrymow for having this now…
Chapter 8
Choices
LAST TIME:
"Well, sure, but where's the fun in that?? Cause if I spent all the time getting healed right away, I wouldn't have nearly the pain tolerance I have… plus I'd probably be dead by now…" he trailed off thoughtfully.
Annoyance finally showed itself in the older elf's blue eyes, if only for a second before it was gone, and Raven felt a satisfied smirk falling across his stunning features.
Legolas opened his mouth to respond when the door handle jingled. His mouth shut and he silently moved into the shadows, invisible unless you knew where he was. The door opened, and Raven laid back down, closing his eyes and evening his breathing to appear sleeping.
"Raven." A rougher voice said gruffly in the blackness. His eyes snapped open to look at Jason.
Jason looked at him, not speaking again. His head tossed to the side, a gun held loosely in his hand, gesturing him to leave. He immediately swung from the bed, leaving the room without a sound. The door closed again and the blond stepped forwards, annoyance clear on his beautiful face then.
XOXOXOXOXOX
Looking forwards, Raven felt slightly weirder out to be in the same position as he had the night before. Manuel stood before him, Jason and Troy off to the side, trying to remain unnoticed. Manuel moved forward, eyes taking in the damage to the boys face. A large gash covered his forehead, going from above his right eye to his cheekbone. His left jaw was covered in scratches from where he landed on the shattered glass, and his left cheek bone was covered in a large black and blue bruise.
His left arm was in a sling, and his right leg was wrapped thickly in gaze from his knee to his ankle. A cut split his bottom lip where the silver hoop had been ripped out. "Raven…" he stared, but trialed off, not knowing what to say. Raven's eyes held his for a moment before they dropped to the floor in a single show of pain and defeat. That sign was all it took for Manuel to one again pull the resisting young man into his warm embrace. Raven struggled for only a moment before his hands fisted the soft cloth of Manuel's button-down shirt. His forehead dropped to the older mans' strong shoulder and his eyes and jaw clenched tightly closed.
His brow's furrowed, body taunt trying to keep away the emotions; not yet ready to acknowledge that he had lost yet another person he loved. Manuel finally broke the silence an unknown time later. His voice was surprisingly soft and soothing for a man of his stature. "Come on, you still have some cloths in your room upstairs.(1)" He said gesturing to the hospital pants he had conned the nurse into bringing him, rather than the usual gown.
Raven nodded, moving from the reassuring form he depended on more than he wished to. Manuel seemed to know that, and led the teen with a supportive hand on his shoulder up the stairs.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXRaven stayed with Manuel long enough for his elvish and vampiric healing to kick in and heal his wounds. He got to know Troy a little better and found out that the boy didn't know his father until he had showed up. He wasn't use to living like he was now.
Troy's mother had been a middle class women that was a one night stand with Manuel. He could tell that Troy was a little jealous of the relationship between Raven and Manuel, but he didn't really know what to do about it. Now Raven stood in a club... his band behind him. Kyle's place was held by Dom, with Raven taking the lead again. None of them could bring it in themselves to replace Kyle yet, so they just had them, instead of finding the next one to move up in the gang.
Moving up to the stage, they took their places in front of the mikes. Raven had his guitar in his hands, a strap around his neck, as he strung the first note.
"Pain
Without love
Pain
Can't get enough
Pain
I like it rough
Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all"
He sang the first part softly. His fingers strummed the cord gently, leaning forwards so his mouth was close to the mike.
You're sick of feeling numb
You're not the only one
I'll take you by the hand
And I'll show you a world that you can understand
This life is filled with hurt
When happiness doesn't work
Trust me and take my hand
When the lights go out you'll understand
His rich voice held a knowing tone, his body moving slowly with the rhythm. Suddenly his voice boomed, voice yelling out..
Pain
Without love
Pain
Can't get enough
Pain
I like it rough
Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all-x2
The voice lowered again, a seductive darkness filling the melodic cords.
Anger and agony are better than misery
Trust me I've got a plan
When the lights go up
You'll understand
Suddenly, his voice changed, he shouted the lyrics, voice filled with pain and hate and love.
Pain
Without love
Pain
Can't get enough
Pain
I like it rough
Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing
Rather feel PAIN
All the emotions he had been feeling in the past three years that locked deep in himself, refusing to acknowledge came out. His face was morbidly twisted, beautiful and horriable at the same time.
I know, I know, I know, I know that you're wounded
You know, you know, you know, you know that I'm here to save you
You know, you know, you know, you know, I'm always here for you
I know, I know, I know, I know that you'll thank me later
Again, his face smoothed out and his voice calmed.
Pain
Without love
Pain
Can't get enough
Pain
I like it rough
Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all
Rage and hate twisted his face, as he screamed the lyrics of the last verse, fingers moving rapidly and harshly over the cords… the tempo increased and the thumping of the music came out heavy, bodies moving with the beat.
Pain
Without love
Pain
Can't get enough
Pain
I like it rough
Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all
Rather feel pain than nothing
Rather feel PAIN
(pain- 3daysgrace.)
The last word was screamed, and when it was over, Raven had to take a deep breath to calm some of the roaring emotions filling him.
The next song when much the same way. Emotions pored out of him, filling the lyrics.
They say freak, So lay down the threat is real, This change, So lay down the threat is real, They say freak when you're singled out.
when you're singled out.
The red it filters through.
When his sight goes red again.
Seeing red again,
Seeing red again.
He won't contain.
Slip away to clear your mind.
When asked what made it show.
The truth he gives into most.
when his sight goes red again.
The red it filters through.
(Chevelle- the red.)
More songs followed…
Looking back at me I see (Chorus) To you, I'm sorry about all the lies (Chorus) I never meant to be so cold I never really wanted you to see
That I never really got it right
I never stopped to think of you
I'm always wrapped up in
Things I cannnot win
You are the antidote that gets me by
Something strong
Like a drug that gets me high
What I really meant to say
Is I'm sorry for the way I am
I never meant to be so cold
Never meant to be so cold
(x2)
Maybe in a different light
You could see me stand on my own again
Cause now i can see
You were the antidote that got me by
Something strong like a drug that got me high
The screwed up side of me that I keep
Locked inside of me so deep
It always seems to get to me
I never really wanted you to go
So many things you should have known
I guess for me theres just no hope
And
I've been changin' but you'll never see me now No more holding it in Chorus No more waiting for the end Chorus I've been changin' but you'll never see me now I'm so far away Hey hey watch me wave Chorus Now I'm blaming you
(I've been changin' but you'll never see me now)
Now I'm blaming you for everything
How many years can I pretend
Nothing ever goes the way it should
No more sitting in this place
Hoping you might see it my way
Cause I don't think you ever understood
That what I'm looking for are the answers
To why these questions never go away
I'm so far away
I've been changin' but you'll never see me now
I'm so far away
Now I'm blaming you for everything
Of every day that I will spend
Wishing that I only had a choice
No more pushing you away
Cause I will be busy watching things going my way
Never looking back on this anymore
Because what I'm looking for are the answers
To why these questions never go away
Now I'm blaming you for everything
Goodbye to yesterday
Nothing left in my way
Hey hey I've been saved
With sun shining on my pain
Getting me through this day
Hey hey watch me wave
Goodbye to yesterday
Nothing left in my way
Feels so good to say
I'm so far away
And…
So you found out today your life's not the same Well it's not so bad y'all I'm hittin' back y'all Chorus So your scars fade away Chorus I know we have given Chorus There's no giving up now
Not quite as perfect as it was yesterday but
When you were just getting in the groove
Now you're faced with something new
And I know it hurts and I know you feel torn
But you never gave up this easily before
So why do you choose today to give it all away
Together we all fall
Just as long we get up we'll stand tall
We shouldn't waste another day
Thinking 'bout the things that we forgot to say
Kickin' these four walls
Just as hard as I can til I can't crawl
I won't waste another day
With all these silly things
Swimmin' in my brain
There's no giving up now
Do you really want to give this all away
Can't you ever see things in a different way
Somedays
No giving up now
Such a beautiful thing to throw away
You should think things through
Over and over again
All over again
You soaked up the pain
A better person 'cause you lived through those days
And now you know what it's like to prove
You can overcome anything that gets to you
Well it's alright
We're sayin' our goodbyes
To the past and everything that ain't right
We won't waste another day
With all these silly things in our way
All that we can give
When there's nothing to lean on
Well, I remember this
All we make of this lifetime
Is always here within
And remembering that's why
We should never give in
By the end of the night, Raven was feeling calmer than he had in years. His shirt had been removed at some point, and his skin, and green-spiked hair was damp with sweat.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
1… Manuel's apartment is a penthouse suit… its on the top two floors, with stairs going up, and with roof access. There is four bedrooms… Manuel's, Raven's, Troy's and an extra… Jason lives across the hall in the other pent house in the building… they both share the roof access.
