Chapter Nine
Early 2007
Months passed and for most of the people who loved Jason life started to return to normal.
Lulu and Milo became a couple. They went to a ski lodge for two weeks at the end of December, to celebrate the holidays and make love for the first time.
Max recovered from his bullet wound to the back. He returned to work without complaint.
Elizabeth found of she was pregnant with Lucky's child. They were hoping for a daughter.
Emily moved back in with Nikolas. She decided to take a break from med school to raise Spencer full time. They fired the nanny. Though Nikolas and Emily had a long way to go before they might once again consider marriage they were both committed to being together and loving Spencer.
Monica, Alan and Edward were moving through their everyday routines as usual. But, often, thoughts of their lost boy invaded their mind. They didn't try to stop the memories though. Memories were all they had.
Ned moved with Brooklyn and Lois to Miami and they opened an office of L and B records there. Knowing Jason had died unmarried and without children had made Ned reassess his life. He wanted to be closer to Brooklyn and Lois on a daily basis.
Sam moved out of the lake house and into a room over Kelly's. She couldn't stand to be around Ric. Though he wasn't there often now because he spent all his spare time with Sonny.
Sonny, Michael, Morgan and Ric went to the island for a long vacation. The boys were not taking Jason's death well at all.
Before they left Morgan would constantly whine he wanted Jason to read him stories, play ball with him or take him to the park. He kept asking no matter how many times people told him Jason couldn't.
Michael could be heard crying himself to sleep but would deny it if he was asked. Sonny was riding the edge of slipping into darkness. He took his medication and listened as Ric soothed his worries. They were growing a closer bond as brothers, which was a great comfort to Sonny now that Jason was gone.
When they returned from the island Sonny went straight to Carly's home.
She opened the door, dressed in pajama's with her hair uncombed, and held up a finger to shush him because she was on the phone.
She said, "Really, Rex? That sounds like a promising lead. This could be the one that pays off. I'm not getting my hopes up. No, I am not. No, I do not always say that. Just follow up on it. That's what I pay you to do."
Carly hung up and said to Sonny "You finally brought my kids back from the island, I see. Where are they?"
Carly moved out of the doorway and Sonny came inside
"Still at my place. " Sonny said " I wanted to get a few things straight first."
"I don't have the energy to argue with you anymore. Haven't all the fights we had over the phone for the last few months tired you out from trying to convince me that I should- how did you put it?- 'Get over it already'."
"But you haven't. And I don't want you to tell the boys any more fantasies about Jason coming home soon. Can we agree on that much?"
"Fine, Sonny. But you will feel stupid when he does come home and finds out you stopped looking for him."
"Let's sit, Carly."
Carly joined him on the couch.
"How are you feeling lately?" he asked, looking at her outfit
"Sane, if that is what you are asking." Carly said " I may not have time to work or even get dressed on some days but I have time to make phone calls and follow up leads if I find any. Did you know Luke is out of town right now looking for Jason? We will find him any day now."
"Oh, Carly, " Sonny said sadly "Don't you think I want that to happen. But Jason would not expect you to stop your life to search for him."
"Wouldn't he? I would expect him to do it for me. And I'd be damn pissed off if he didn't.
But I know he would look for me. And I will for him."
"You say you know Jason better than anyone, right?" Sonny asked gently "So what would keep him from calling us? What would make him leave the business unprotected? To leave the boys crying over missing him? To risk you losing your mind in grief?"
"He wouldn't do that if he could help it. I know he has to be hurt or lost his memory or being held against his will. But he is alive." Carly's voice was strong and sure. " Can't you see that the evidence he is dead is the same made up bull like when we thought Faith killed Michael? It looks like it fits but it really doesn't. I knew it then and I know it now."
Sonny reached out and touched her arm. He said "Are you still seeing Lainey?"
"Yes."
"What does she think of this?"
"She doesn't say. She just asks me 'How do you feel about the fact you can not accept the loss of Jason?' and I say 'Damn great about it, actually.' and we move on to talking about something else. She is probably waiting for me to admit I am in denial but I never will. Because I'm not."
Sonny said, "Come here, " and pulled her into a hug. He stroked her hair. " We have to let him go, Carly. So scream if you have to scream. Cry if you have to cry. But we have to work through this. Ric says that time will heal this-"
Carly pulled out of his grasp. "Ric would like to think time changes the past. Makes it easier to accept the ugly truth and get over it. But it doesn't. Nothing can change the past. And no one can make me think I will never see Jason again. Now I am going upstairs to get dressed so I can go with you to see Michael and Morgan."
Carly rose and headed upstairs.
Sonny took out his cell phone and dialed information.
"I need the number for the Metro Court." he said "Put me straight through, will you."
A moment later the operator connected him.
"Metro Court. Can I help you?"
"Yeah, this is Sonny Corinthos. Get me your boss, Jasper Jacks, on the line. Now."
"Right away, sir."
The phone call was transferred to Jax's office. "Hello."
"Yeah, it's Sonny. I thought you were with Carly. I thought you claimed to care about her. How can you let her go on like she is about Jason?"
"Back off, Corinthos. I tried my best to be there for her. She refuses to even see me. The night Jason disappeared she was with me and now she blames me for her missing Jason's last phone call to her."
"She said that?"
"No, but she must. She won't come to work or take my calls. I have sat on her doorstep waiting for her to come home in order to talk to her. She's polite but won't let me in. I hate to say it but maybe you can help her more than I can right now."
"Thanks for nothing." Sonny said and hung up.
Sonny doubted anyone but Jason could help Carly now.
In a nearby town, Jason lay on his side facing the left wall of the room. He would face this wall for 3 hours then the nurse would roll him toward the other wall, and use pillows to prop up his unresponsive body. Then 3 hours later he would be put on his back to stare at the ceiling.
The woman who treated him didn't speak to him. She did her job in silence and the only voices Jason ever heard was Ric. But Ric had not been around for a long time now.
When Ric was last there he taunted Jason with pictures of the people he loved living happily without him. Jason had used all his will to try and force his body to move, to strike Ric, but he couldn't move even his fingertip an inch.
His body felt tight and stiff. If he felt the slightest loosening up of his muscles the same day the nurse would shoot him up with the drug again. He didn't know how often she gave him the shots but he knew if she stopped the paralyzing agent would wear off. But he couldn't even speak to her to ask her not to inject him again.
Jason was stuck completely alone in his mind. He did his best to recall times from his past.
He would slowly relive every moment, every feeling, every emotion of these memories like he never would have if he wasn't in this position.
At first, he would often see Sam and Ric together like he did the night he looked through the window at the lake house. Or he would see Sam getting shot in the back or Sam's face when he told her the baby had died. But, in time, all those bad times faded and he forced himself to focus on positive memories.
He could see Michael's first steps, Morgan's first smile, he could hear their laughter perfectly in his mind. He could see Sonny as he was when they first met. When Jason looked up to Sonny as a mentor, when Sonny wasn't changed by so many losses.
And Jason could almost feel Carly touching him, hear her whispering in his ear " I bet you twenty bucks you'll find a way to escape."
Carly was his saving grace. There were so many times in the past when she had said, "I'll never stop loving you , Jase." or "You can count on me no matter what." and all those words comforted him now. She was truly his one constant. Because she would never let go of him. So now, in the only way he could, in his mind, he held on to her.
He could hear her saying now, "You're the strongest, bravest best man I have even known. I'd be proud to have my sons grow up to be like you."
Jason didn't feel strong right now but he wouldn't give up. He was still breathing, even if that was all he could do, and that meant there was still a chance he could survive and get back to the people he missed.
MILO was laying in bed with Lulu's head resting on his chest. He stroked her hair.
She whispered, "Lets not ever leave this bed again. I hate the world. This is the only place in the world I love."
"I love you too, Lulu." He gave her a slow and sensual kiss. "Tell me what brought on this recent bout with hating the world."
"Carly's kids came home today. Did you see them at Sonny's? Well Carly took them to her place later on and invited me, Lucky, Aunt Bobbie and Lucas over for a sort of welcome home party. At first it was great. I thought Carly was starting to...I don't know...recover...but then Morgan asked about Jason... and no one said anything."
She stressed, " No one said a single word for a full minute. Then Michael stomped up to his room, in tears. And Bobbie started stumbling through a explanation of Heaven but by this time Morgan was crying too. I thought the kids understood but no matter how much we tell them Jason can't come home...it's like they won't stop waiting... and either will Carly. She hugged Morgan and gave him a Popsicle and in time he smiled again but Michael never came back downstairs. After that, the party was basically over."
She sighed and then added "And I get why it happened. Because Lucky, Nikolas and I are the same way with my mom. We keep waiting for her to wake up and ...she probably never will again. The world sucks. The only truly good thing in the world is love...Milo," she looked up and into his eyes "thank you for loving me."
He whispered, "Who wouldn't love you?"
She smiled and then he was kissing her and they were trying, again and again like they had for months, to ease each other's pain.
