Over the course of the next week, meal times were a struggle. Neal would try to eat a little something but he couldn't get over his fear of food. Neal knew he was disappointing Peter but he just couldn't help it.
After another barely touched meal was left on the tray, Neal hung his head in shame. "What the hell is wrong with me", he thought. "Sir was right, I'm nothing but a disappointment."
"Good try Buddy, I'm proud of you," Peter said encouragingly. Neal couldn't look at Peter and turned his back to him, effectively stopping the conversation.
Peter sighed and sat back down in his chair. He opened his paper to the crossword section but he couldn't really concentrate. He glanced over at Neal as his breathing evened out and he was asleep.
A half hour later, Elizabeth came to visit and Peter got up to greet her. "Hey hon. How's our boy doing today?" she asked.
"About the same. He's still struggling to eat. I don't know what to do. The doctor said that if he doesn't start eating more, they might have to put a feeding tube in him."
"How about we ask the doctor if Neal could have something a little bit more appetizing to eat. Maybe if I bring some of his favourites for him, he might be more receptive to eating."
Peter finally smiled. "How did I get so lucky? Brains and Beauty." He gave El a quick kiss and held her in his arms. She was his rock and he couldn't imagine his life without her by his side.
"Can you stay with Neal for a bit? I've got to run back to the office. ERT recovered some evidence that Jones and Diana wants me to see. Neal just fell asleep so he shouldn't be waking any time soon."
"Sure, don't worry. He'll be in good hands." Elizabeth smiled.
"There wasn't a doubt in my mind." Peter gave El another kiss and walked out the door.
WCWCWC
During ERTs sweep of the compound they had come across a small control room that Sir had used to monitor and record Neal while he was held captive. ERT recovered hours of video footage of Neal's time in captivity. The footage had been uploaded to Peter's laptop but he was hesitant to watch. Peter took a deep breath and pressed play.
Hours later, Peter's eyes burned with unshed tears. Listening to Neal's anguished cries and pleas was almost too much to bear. Neal would plead and cry to something or someone only he could see. Peter could see the desperation and fear in Neal's eyes and was soon overwhelmed by his own feelings of guilt because he was the one that told Neal to run. He had seen enough. Closing his laptop he put on his coat and wearily made his way to the elevator.
Back at the hospital Peter walked into Neal's room to find him still asleep. Elizabeth was sitting in the chair next to him reading a magazine. "Hey hon. Is everything okay?" she asked him with concern in her voice.
"That sick bastard recorded the things he did to Neal", Peter said with disgust. "I didn't want to watch but if I'm going to help Neal get through this I need to know what happened to him."
Just then Neal started to stir. He opened his eyes and saw Peter and El in conversation. "Neal sweetie you're awake!" She went over and squeezed his hand. "I'll leave you two guys to talk." She walked quickly to the door and left.
"Peter what's wrong?" Neal asked. He could sense there was something Peter was hiding from him.
Peter sighed. He wanted to tell Neal what ERT found but didn't want to upset him.
"Tell me Peter," Neal insisted. "I can handle it." He sat up a little straighter in bed.
"ERT did a sweep of the warehouse where you were held and ….they found video footage of your time in captivity."
"Did you watch the tapes Peter?" Neal asked hesitantly.
"Yes, Neal I did. I'm so sorry for what you went through. I know it was Kate's uncle who held you. His name is Douglas Moreau. We don't know much about him. He's not in the system and he's gone completely underground but we are doing everything we can to find him."
Neal closed his eyes in shame and started gently rocking back and forth. He didn't want Peter to know how weak he was with Sir. He wasn't strong enough and he was sure Peter was disappointed in him. "I'm so sorry Peter," he whispered.
Peter gently put a hand on Neal's shoulder to stop his rocking. "Why are you sorry? You have nothing to be sorry about." Peter said. "Neal, please open your eyes and look at me."
"I'm a disappointment. I was weak and I should have fought harder." Neal said quietly.
"No Neal. You're the strongest man I know and I know that you fought with everything you had. You're a survivor Neal and you have nothing to be ashamed of."
Neal looked at Peter with doubt in his eyes. He wanted to believe Peter but Sir's words kept echoing in his head. Neal took a deep breath and continued speaking, "Thank you Peter, for everything, for staying with me."
"You don't need to thank me Neal. You're going to get through this. You're going to be okay." Neal nodded wishing he had as much faith in himself as Peter seemed to have in him. But he knew it was easier said than done.
He was messed up…there was no other way to describe it. Sir did break him and Neal didn't know if any amount of support and help from Peter could make him whole again.
