Disclaimer: As usual, all I own is this fanfic, everything else belongs to J.K. Rowling. No copyright intended!

Ch. 9

Astoria Greengrass

Umbridge was having a really bad day. Voldemort's return was indeed real and it was mentioned in the Daily Prophet. Still, the evil toad of a woman refused to accept that and assumed that the 'attention seeker' was making that up to make her and Cornelius look bad. Upon passing by an unused classroom with it's door open, Umbridge felt as though somebody pulled some rope up and made her trip and fall on her face, much to her shock. Umbridge was momentarily stunned and when she came back to, she looked up and saw a pair of black shoes. Looking further up, Umbridge saw that it was a girl in Slytherin (she had the green and silver necktie and her robes had green trimmings). Umbridge knew that this was Astoria Greengrass and her sister Daphne was a fifth year Slytherin, while their father worked for the ministry in the Wizengamot. Umbridge wasn't pleased that Lord Greengrass voted to have Harry Potter cleared of all charges, 'the brat' was supposed to have been convicted. Astoria was glaring at the evil toad of a woman with her arms crossed.

"You've just landed in hot water, Umbitch!" Astoria responded after a minute.

"I don't know what you mean by that." Umbridge bluffed.

"The way you've been treating Harry for pretty much the whole year," snapped Astoria. "You've made him use that stupid blood quill to write lines with, for even the most minor of infractions."

"The brat deserved it," claimed Umbridge. "Now I insist that we end the discussion or I'll make sure your father gets fired."

"Ha, like that'll even work, Umbitch," said Astoria sarcastically, then she continued on in a normal, but angry voice. "You should already know that House Greengrass is a most ancient and most noble house. You threaten my daddy in any way possible and he'll have you ousted from the ministry so fast, it'll make your head spin."

"Maybe, but Potter is nothing but a…" Umbridge tried replying.

"Actually Umbitch," Harry interrupted, as soon as he stepped out of the shadows. "I'm not worthless. House Potter is also a most ancient and most noble house. Since my parents have been dead since Halloween 1981, I'm the head of House Potter."

"You… you weren't supposed to have found out," said Umbridge, flabbergasted. "Cornelius didn't want you to go off a-abusing your power."

"Says the toad who did exactly that," sneered Astoria. "Minister, or should I say former minister Fudge also abused his power."

"How so?" asked Umbridge foolishly.

"HE SLANDERED HARRY'S REPUTATION IN THE DAILY PROPHET, YOU EVIL HAG!" screamed Astoria, so loud it made Umbridge jump. "WHAT MADE HIM THINK THAT WAS OKAY, ESPECIALLY TO A MEMBER OF A MOST ANCIENT AND MOST NOBLE HOUSE, HUH? HE'S IN JUST AS MUCH HOT WATER AS YOU BECAUSE OF IT!"

"My, my, did someone wake up on the wrong side of the bed," said Umbridge, with overconfidence in her voice. "I think Lucius Malfoy will instill some manners into you."

Astoria responded by kicking the evil toad in the face, stunning her again. Umbridge had been oblivious to the fact that she had mentioned the name of somebody who Astoria hated to the max.

"For your information, toad," said Astoria angrily. "Lucius has already been ousted himself. My daddy made damn sure of that, especially when ole Luci kept threatening him to draw up a stupid marriage contract to have me marry that stupid Draco. When ole Luci was caught because of that involvement in the Department of Mysteries, my daddy used that chance to press more charges against him. You wanna know why, it's because my daddy never bought Lucius' whole 'I was under the imperius curse' malarkey. Ole Luci was just trying to suck up to the ministry by using that bullshit of an excuse."

"You'd better watch your mouth, young lady," ordered Umbridge, like a mother scolding her daughter. "And you will respect me, is that…"

"I don't respect anybody who treats others like shit, you ole hag," snapped Astoria. "In case you need your memory refreshed, respect is earned, not given out like a box of sweets. Since you've been treating almost all of us like shit and abusing your power, you don't have my respect, and you certainly don't have Harry's respect either."

"You're in Slytherin, Miss Greengrass," snapped Umbridge. "You're supposed to be…"

"OH SHUT UP," Astoria screamed. "A real Slytherin doesn't treat muggleborns, half bloods, half breeds or beasts like shit. It's idiots like Draco Malfoy who give the house the bad rap. Daphne and I treat everybody else equally. Now it's time for you to reap what you've sown."

"No," Umbridge pleaded desperately, utterly terrified. "I-I didn't mean it. Just tell everybody I had no idea what I was doing!"

"Nice try, Umbitch," said Harry. "Trying to suck up to us won't work. One must not tell lies."

Then he cast a spell that made hoof sounds, frightening Umbridge. She kept looking around, wondering where the centaurs were, much to Harry's and Astoria's extreme amusement. As soon as Umbridge's back was turned, Harry cast another spell that made the evil toad's hair disappear, giving her a completely bald head. Then Astoria conjured up a mirror close by the toad.

"You should look in the mirror, Umbitch," said Astoria. "We think you'll love your new haircut."

Umbridge did just that and when she saw that her hair was gone, she screamed like a banshee. Harry and Astoria were just laughing like crazy, which didn't please Umbridge. Neither of the teens cared, since Umbridge didn't quit while she was still ahead. Harry and Astoria were far from finished in teaching the evil toad a lesson. Harry cast a charm that turned Umbridge's skin paste-white (like she never worked on a tan at all).

"You're looking better, Umbitch," said Harry in an amused voice. "Maybe Astoria here has something else to make you look even more better!"

"Now it's time for that." said Astoria with a mischievous grin.

She cast a spell that gave the evil hag a ton of brown spots. It looked as though she was developing a disease similar to dragon pox or something. Then Harry cast one that gave Umbridge blue spots, turning her into something of a revolting freakshow. Then Harry cast a charm on Umbridge's shoes, turning them into extremely high heels and this made the toad's feet truly uncomfortable (to the point where she couldn't really walk without her feet hurting). Professor McGonagall came strolling by, wondering what all the ruckus was. Umbridge felt relieved that a teacher came by.

"Mr. Potter, Miss Greengrass," said the deputy headmistress. "What on earth are you two doing?"

"Teaching the toad a lesson, professor." said Harry.

"Since the evil hag liked abusing her power," said Astoria. "We thought of using spells to humiliate her to see how she likes being disrespected."

Professor McGonagall turned her attention to Dolores and almost immediately began laughing herself silly. The transfiguration teacher hated the toad as much as many of the students. Umbridge couldn't believe that Professor McGonagall didn't try to punish Harry and Astoria. The teens walked away, but Umbridge attempted to run after them, eager for revenge. Professor McGonagall cast a charm to make the toad slip and slide on the stone floor. The impact of hitting the wall stunned the toad, for the third time. The deputy headmistress walked away with a grin on her face, then Harry and Astoria continued giving Umbridge her just rewards.

"We ain't done with you yet, toad." said Harry.

Then he cast another charm that glued a Groucho Marx disguise to Umbridge's face. Then Astoria also cast a spell that made Umbridge grow antlers, which started protruding from her head. Then Harry cast a charm that replaced Umbridge's cardigan outfit with a mix-matched chemise.

"We're done now," said Astoria. "Look at yourself in the mirror now."

Umbridge did that and saw that she was horribly disfigured. She tried responding, but she was too humiliated to talk.

"Oh, we have one more thing for you." said Harry slyly.

They forced the evil toad into following them to the Great Hall. Once inside, the other students and teachers saw Umbridge and just started laughing themselves silly. Then Astoria cast a charm on Umbridge's feet, so she couldn't leave. Then Harry and Astoria walked outside to let the students and teachers take care of the toad in the form of laughter. The teens found themselves holding hands, which felt so good and right.

"Well, Harry, how should we celebrate the toad's downfall?" asked Astoria.

"I don't know," said Harry. "Maybe go out into Muggle London or something?"

"I'd like that, Harry," said Astoria, smiling at the raven-haired Gryffindor. "It's so fascinating to see how muggles manage. I wish to experience that, my handsome man!"

"Well okay, it's settled, my sweet pretty lady," said Harry, then he called out. "Dobby!"

"Did Harry calls for Dobby?" asked the house elf as soon as he appeared.

"Yes, would you help escort myself and Astoria to an alley somewhere in London?" asked Harry.

"Dobby would be's happy to helps out with that." said Dobby.

"I thought you were owned by the Malfoys." said Astoria, surprised.

"Harry trick bad masters in freeing Dobby from theirs' servitude a fews years back!" said Dobby ecstatically.

"Wow," said Astoria. "Serves them right!"

So she and Harry grabbed onto Dobby's hands and the house elf apparated them away, so they could have their celebration in Muggle London. Meanwhile, Umbridge died of a massive heart attack due to the shock of her disfigurement, but not many of the students and teachers cared, since the evil toad had it coming.

The End!

Author's note 1: I'd like to thank 'Jay Saxena' for suggesting that Astoria come up with some vicious curses to use of Umbridge. While I came up with Harry helping out with that and Professor McGonagall using one spell to make Umbridge suffer, the main idea belongs to Jay Saxena.

Author's note 2: As usual, please let me know in a review who'd like to see Harry paired with in the next chapter. Remember, the more I get, the more it motivates me to keep going. As always, prank ideas are appreciated.