Title: Delirium
Chapter: 9. Fragments of Fear
Pairings: (Yaoi/SLASH) Nick/Zak, Aaron/Zak, future Nick/Aaron/Zak
Summary: Nick decides to leave Vegas for his family, hurting Zak. What he doesn't know is that it had the other man running into Aaron's arms even though they weren't to drop their current relationship. But Zak needs to have someone near, and Aaron understands him just as well as Nick does. Future D/S relationships.
Genre: Angst, drama, romance
Rating: Mature (X)


They went home after the investigations, and the irritant that gnawed through the center of their relationship was as silent and malignant as cancer. Nick hadn't gone back to them, back to Zak, and to make matters worse, he didn't even send the older man a second glance. Roni, on the other hand, with that knowing, smug smile, seemed on cloud nine as Nick stayed glued to her side like a leashed dog. Zak didn't know what she could of done to get Nick back into that honeymoon phase, when he couldn't take his eyes off of her for five seconds.

Back home, Zak could only ask himself what he did wrong. He was so sure Nick wanted to continue this, but now it seemed the opposite of that. It was laughable that he believed Nick when he basically said he was a part of him. It didn't look like he cut off an arm when he's cutting him from his life. He hasn't picked up his phone in four days, hadn't texted him back unless it was about work. Zak made himself to not care and to not dwell on the negatives.

He had Aaron, didn't he, and Nick said he could stay with him. At least, that is what Aaron relayed onto him. And Zak had, as much as he tried not to, but it was hard staying at home after a lock down like that one. Something he brought home had attacked Gracie, and Aaron was complaining about the spirits that continued to knock down his artwork. If he had to chose between the houses, he'd rather be at Aaron's before he got the chance to cleanse that hell hole of a house.

He wouldn't lie and say he didn't take comfort in Aaron's presence either.

Two weeks went by fast, and still they hadn't gotten a call from Nick on what location they were visiting next. If Zak wanted to be honest, he wanted to say Nick was stalling. That was different. Even newly wed, Nick had never been more excited to leave home when the promise of a haunt was just at his fingertips. Nick had about ten files on possible locations waiting at home. He had to of read through all of them by now and at least half of them were really interesting.

The next two weeks went by faster before he finally got something. A voice message, and Zak had been asleep next to Aaron. It was coming around seven in the morning when he dared to check, peeling himself away from the stickiness of sweat, lube and cum that Aaron had deemed unimportant until he woke up. Zak told himself he was going to be there when the older man had to peel the sheets from his leg.

"Hey." Zak nearly perked up at the recognizable voice, "Sorry about not calling sooner. This will be quick." he heard a feminine whispering that made him frown, "I think I want to go visit the one down in New Hampshire, if that's cool. Roni's taggin' along since its not that far. This weekend would be best and lets try to keep it down to three days. A text would be fine, man, just need the heads up. Bye."

Zak held the phone down at the end of the message and the grip around it tightened with anger. Nick had been next to non-existant the past month and that was it? He threw his iPhone across the room, heard the satisfying crack of it as it hit the wall. Aaron bolted before sitting up, eyes blinking fast in surprise before focusing on Zak.

"The fuck?"

"Sorry, Aaron. Go to sleep." Zak mumbled and pushed the sheets off of his legs to crawl out of bed and grab his phone. He even felt satisfied at the long cracks that decorated the glass of the phone, though it still worked. Aaron came up behind him and sighed.

"Dammit, man, you're gonna need to get a new one before you cut yourself on that screen." He didn't bring up why the other did what he did. He could already guess.

Zak scoffed lightly, "I'll get to that eventually. Hey, maybe I'll be able to trade it in for a black one."

"What? And I was startin' to think you were liking your girly white iPhone." Aaron cracked and returned to bed. Before jumping in he sighed, "How about we get into the shower and sleep in the guest's room instead?"

Zak had to laugh and setting his phone aside, he nodded and followed the older man into the large bathroom. They quickly cleaned up and it was Zak who grabbed the fluffy towels for them to dry with. Dressed in something loose, they stumbled to the other bedroom and Zak shut the blinds and drew the curtains as Aaron practically knocked out above the blanket. The younger man shook his head fondly and got in next to him on his stomach, resting his head on folded arms above the pillows.

Zak decided to remain in that spot between awake and asleep for a couple of hours before his body really started to ache. He had twisted and turned a few times and he decided by the fifth change of position that he should get out before he woke Aaron again.

He went back into Aaron's room and decided to change the sheets. He could see the white of his phone in his peripheral vision, like a beacon that demanded his attention. Zak refused to have it take any of his time as he piled everything in a corner for him to take down to the wash and pulled out fresh sheets from the top of Aaron's closet. He groaned as he had to scoop down just to get the sheets on and he hoped sooner or later the man would buy an actual bed frame before either of them do permanent damage to their backs. He smoothed the thick comforter blanket over and it was so tempting to fall back into that bed. He went out the door, sheets bundled under his arm, grabbing his phone as an afterthought and shoved it in his pocket. He had to a message to answer, after all.

Still. He didn't know if he should listen to the message again. New Hampshire, Nick said, right? Zak could tell him no. Zak could recommend something closer to home, flower it up until Nick had to say yes to him and leave Roni behind. Promise him they could be alone. Aaron could... Aaron had his own room and he could stay there. Eyes downcast, he was afraid to try. Sure, he texted to Nick and went straight to the internet to find a decent flight for him and Aaron to book.


A month of this and Zak was getting tired of seeing her face. It was to the point he was happy they only got three days together. It hurt having to see Nick disappear into his room with Roni. To add to that burn, the guy didn't even eat with them anymore. Nick was just present when the cameras came on- when they were off, well, his wife was waiting on the sidelines with his bottle of water.

Three locations went on like this, and if the lady wasn't there, Nick had a hand on his phone. Nick refused to appear in the vlogs and ran off the moment Aaron pulled out his phone and switched on the video. It was like the younger man had to seem like he wasn't there at all. A shadow, is what he became. Not even that! At least a fucking shadow never left your side.

It was just his luck when they managed to book a place down in California. The travel cost for the crew was getting too expensive the more they went to the East. The channel had asked for an update on their progress and questioned why they continued to investigate there. Nick had no choice but to agree to a west coast haunt.

Zak watched Aaron go, standing on Aaron's lawn as he drove away with Steed in the front seat. He shook his head. He could hear Steed laughing and singing off-key to a song on the radio even as they turned the corner. The raven knew he didn't have to worry. As long as Aaron remained behind the wheel of the car, they would make it to California just fine.

Now Zak had the house to himself for a couple of days. When Steed heard of the trip, he had to come along, though he'll be taking the car back to Vegas before the boys started filming. When Zak caught wind of that from Aaron mindlessly mumbling to himself, Zak just had to find ways to skip out. Los Angeles actually kind of scared him nine times out of ten, and Steed would just get him killed.

He walked back inside when they disappeared from sight, sighing as he considered what he was to do today. He would be following after Aaron in a couple of days, so he couldn't start anything long. Well, he could always drop Gracie off at Billy's.

"Hey, Grace!" Zak yelled once he shut the door behind him. He grabbed the keys to his Jeep hanging on the key holder and whistled when Gracie took her time coming to him. His girl was watching him from the kitchen, squeaky toy held loosely in her jaw, "No, Gracie... 'm taking you to Sophie, you like her don't you?" He laughed at her excited bark, toy tumbling to the floor, recognizing that name as well as her own.

Zak picked up some snacks before making his way to Billy's and was glad that he was greeted from outside the other man's house. He didn't quite know how he was going to get the bags of stuff inside while herding in his excited dog.

"Man, were you expecting a party?" Billy laughed and let Gracie out the back. He made sure she didn't run into the street and instead towards the open front door before folding the crate and taking it out.

Zak went out and grabbed the few grocery bags with a grin, "Oh, shut up. We're spending the day together, aren't we? I know better than to look in your pantry. Your kids eat everything in sight."

"You better put your name on those, G."

Zak groaned, "You're tellin' me they're coming over?" He dropped them off on the kitchen counter, grabbing his bag of pretzels. He followed Billy into the living room and sat down heavily on the couch.

The older man was playing a video game, probably his son's, but he wouldn't put it past Billy to own the thing, set to pause. Zak was pretty sure it was the newest Battlefield. Billy fell into his own seat and grabbed the controller hanging off the arm rest, "Man, they come in and out of here as they please."

"You're like one of them. Are you sure you're their father?"

"Ha-ha. Now grab the other controller and help me beat this."

They played well into the night, taking a break between every hour and a half of game play. Billy's wife had walked in at one time to land a kiss on top of the older man's head and to say hello to Zak, but she left again with the dogs and a couple of friends for a nightly walk.

He kind of really enjoyed this and he told himself he was going to come visit Billy more often. It was a lot more fun hanging out at his place than it was at his own home. It always felt like work there, even as they sat in his basement man cave. He laughed as Billy started to button smash, overwhelmed by the amount of enemy soldiers surrounding him when he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. Thinking it was Aaron, Zak told Billy he was going to the backyard, though he was ignored in favor for the game.

"Hi." Zak said giddily without looking at the screen and shut the door behind him.

"Hey."

"Nick? Fuck, dude!" His jaw dropped and it took him a second to collect himself, "So you're talking to me now?"

He heard a tired sigh. It was a little loud on the other end, heard the rumble of people talking and the clinking of glasses. Nick had to of gone out drinking. "Don't, Zak." The older man would of bristled at the words, but the tone of Nick's defeated voice told him there was more going on than he knew. "I'm sorry, G. The past couple of months... shit. I don't know what to do. I miss you."

Zak stood there and just listened to him breathe. Clearing his throat, he said, "How much did you have to drink?"

He heard a dark chuckled, "Not enough, man. But I'm done for the night," he paused, "Is that all you're going to ask me? How much I drank? Don't you, I don't know, miss me too?"

"You have no idea," Zak uttered, "But I don't know. Was it me? Did I do something? You won't evenlook my direction anymore, man."

"No. No its not you. Its getting harder to hide and with V being around so much..."

"Leave her at home."

"Zak, you know I can't do that. Look," he heard the man shuffle a bit, "I'm on the bar's phone right now and they think I'm getting a ride. I got a minute left-"

"Nick, wait-"

"I'll explain it later, yeah? Once I got it all handled. You know I'll get it done for us, don't you?"

Zak sighed heavily and nodded, "Yeah. Yeah, whatever."

"Don't be that way."

"Fine... I'll see you in a couple of days," Zak smiled and was sure he could feel Nick smiling on the other side.

"I missed you."

"I missed you too. Now go get your ride."


Nick hung the phone up and paid his tab. He went out the door and pulled his own phone from his pocket. As he was dialing a friend to pick him up, he couldn't believe he didn't do this sooner. Veronique wouldn't know who he was calling if he didn't use his own phone. How many weeks ago could he of started calling Zak if he had just used the phone at his gym, or asked to borrow one of his friend's cell.

His friend didn't pick up, so he looked through his messages instead. Veronique had left a few messages, probably wondering where he was at this time. He typed in 'the bar w/ friends' just to be safe. If she asked around, well, Nick was there. The brunette pulled up a cousin's number, and somehow guilt tripped her into taking him home. She was going to be demanding sweets for months, but she'd honestly do anything for him after helping her salvage a relationship.

Nick saw her car come around and he stepped out of the shadows and under a street lamp so his cousin wouldn't think he was some creep waiting for a woman who didn't know better to open her door. He waved to make sure she knew he recognized her and soon she came pulling up, unlocking the door to let him in.

"Nick, what are you doing out here so late?" She asked and moved her purse from Nick's feet to the back seat. She waited for the older man to put on his seatbelt. The last time she didn't, the other nearly got her a ticket.

"Was just drinking with a new friend," Nick said off-handedly. A lie, but she wouldn't be able to tell the difference. With the show, people always popped up to spend a few hours with Nick. If he didn't see them again, that was normal too. "Thanks for picking me up. And try not to tell mom about this," he grinned crookedly.

"You're not fifteen anymore, Nick. She knows you drink." She laughed. "So. You going to tell me why it seems like you're getting more wrinkles under your eyes than I am, or should I guess?" When she was met with silence, she took a wild shot in the dark, "It's Roni, isn't it?"

"Don't even start this, Claire," Nick grumbled and sank into the seat. She hummed knowingly. She knew a problem in a marriage as well as anyone. "Its really complicated. I don't want to talk about it." He wished the drive could be faster, but with his cousin driving five miles under the speed limit, he doubt he'd be home before she gives up.

"But its bothering you, cuz, and I still owe you one." She started shooting these concerned glances his way. If Nick could comment, he would say she was being dramatic. "I'm sure its nothing a good expensive dinner can't fix."

"Right." Nick grunted. At least his neighborhood was in sight. "Not that easy, Claire."

"Fine." His cousin shrugged and carried on, "But if you need advice..." She gave the older man a sidelong look as she pulled into his driveway.

"I got you on speed dial."

"That's right."

Nick unbuckled and reached over to give his cousin a hug. "Thanks for the ride," he said then got out and watched her leave. He pulled his keys from his pocket and got to the front door and he fiddled with the lock and key in the dark for a bit before the door was swung open, an irate wife waiting just on the other side.

"Where were you?"

"I gave you a text, Roni." Nick said, brows furrowing. He hung his keys and sidestepped the blonde woman, keeping a respectful distance between her and himself. Annabelle came running in from the kitchen with a smile and Nick swooped down to pick her up and land a kiss on her cheek. At least someone was happy to see him home. "How was work today?"

Veronique went with them to the kitchen, her brow wrinkled suspiciously and a frown on her lips. As Nick took a seat at the kitchen table, Veronique went and grabbed the man a Gatorade to help with tomorrow and set it open in front of him. "The same as always. You weren't answering my messages..."

"I was distracted." Nick shrugged and chugged half the bottle down. Annabelle reached for the crackers on the table and once she had them, wiggled to be let down. She ran into the living room leaving the couple alone. "Were you able to get Monday and Tuesday off ?"

"No. But I'm still going."

"V, the flight is pretty expensive."

Veronique rolled her eyes, "Travel Channel pays for half my ticket. I'm going."

"It's not safe."

"Do you want me there or not, Nick?"

Nick resisted the urge to groan. He was done fighting this battle with her. He was getting tired and it seemed she was only getting stronger. He didn't know if he could really keep up. "Veronique, are you happy?" He finally got the courage to ask. Nick dropped his eyes to his hands on the table. He couldn't meet her eyes and instead stared at the safe flash of light on his wedding ring.

"We are not talking about this." She said and Nick heard her walk away. She couldn't of been happy. Nick wasn't blind.