Chapter 9 - Epiphany
Three days passed since her last rampage and Nah was still inexplicably happy.
She and the rest of the army were on a ship back to Ylisse. The blonde girl sat in the mess hall, lost in thought. Despite the time spent marching and the better part of one day in Valm Harbor preparing to embark for the voyage home, Nah kept turning over everything in her mind. So much happened in the past few weeks. She learned the truth about her manakete heritage; it made her worry that if people found out about her rampages, they would hate her; the Valmese war ended and the children from the future still did not know if Grima's return had been prevented; she discovered that she could indeed trust Robin and Morgan.
That last point made her feel especially euphoric, or more specifically, finding out that she could trust Morgan with knowledge of her rampages did. She partially understood her feelings. Nah was preoccupied with the thought that someone she was close to would stumble upon one of her rampages and shun her out of fear. She was bemused when Robin first found out about the dragonkin's habit and seemed upset. She wondered why the tactician wanted to accompany her and even felt a little insulted that she thought Nah would run amok without considering the safety of other people. Now she understood a little better. Maybe Robin had heard about the degeneration of her ancestors. Or maybe it was just the fear that something so powerful would lose control and attack everything indiscriminately. Nah was relieved and glad when Robin assured her that she trusted her. She even apologized for calling Nah a monster, even though she knew it was in jest. Robin did not fear her and still cared for her.
Nah's heart sank when she saw that Morgan followed them. Robin at least had time to see for herself that Nah was not a threat during her destructive romps. Would Morgan think she was an out-of-control monster when he saw her tear up a forest senselessly? Would he become terrified of Nah and tell the others in the army? Even if he didn't tell anyone else, the last thing Nah wanted was for her dear friend to avoid her out of fear or hatred.
Morgan did not see it at all that way. He held a childlike awe of her rampage. He saw it as something amazing his friend did and even wanted to join in a limited way. Nah's anxiety over her rampages virtually dissipated. She was not going to tell everyone, especially since she wanted to keep it a secret from her mother, who had cautioned against overusing dragonstones. Even so, Nah felt that if other people did discover her means of getting exercise, she would not have to worry much.
That, however, was not enough to explain why she felt so elated. There was something she could not put her finger on. Just seeing the blue-haired boy made her feel happy; and, strangely, nervous. She had not talked to anyone about it, except for Naga in recent prayers. She was silent on the matter, though Nah thought she could feel a sense of amusement from the Divine Dragon.
"Nah? Hello, Nah! Are you there?"
The blonde girl shook her head. Cynthia seemingly appeared right next to her. The ginger-haired pegasus knight had a big grin on her face.
"Look at you spacing out like that! That's gotta be a first."
Nah pursed her lips, then quipped, "Hey, even I get lost in thought sometimes. That's not the same thing as spending a third of my time awake day-dreaming about the best way to be a hero."
Cynthia chuckled at that. Their friendship was was an odd one, but Nah was glad she listened to Morgan to give her a chance. When Nah was not focused on getting Cynthia to leave her alone and actually payed attention to her scent, Nah sensed that her main intention was to befriend the half-manakete. Cynthia still asked to climb up on Nah's head, but it had become a running joke. Nah in turn would take a playful jab at her. She grew to like the pegasus knight's bubbly personality, though she did still annoy her on occasions.
"What's been on your mind? Are you being a worrywart like Lucina?" Cynthia asked, "I know heroes like us shouldn't rest on our laurels, but this is a time to relax."
"Well . . . kind of," Nah replied.
"Aw, I thought so! You know, if you fret when there's nothing to fret over, then you'll be all worn out if something bad does happen. Besides, stress isn't healthy."
Nah smiled slightly "You know, Cynthia, you're wiser than I would have expected."
Cynthia giggled and said, "I get that a lot."
"Oh, hello Nah, Cynthia!"
Nah recognized the voice and quickly turned to face in its direction, "Hi, Morgan!"
"Hey, Morgan!" Cynthia greeted.
The blonde girl felt a little anxious but delighted to see him at the same time. What was going on with her?
"I've been looking for you, Nah. Did you finished the book I lent you?" The prince asked.
"Almost. I still have a few chapters left. You're right; it's nice to read something for fun and not just study. I'm really enjoying the story as well."
"Exactly," Morgan said as he took a seat across the table from them, " I think my favorite thing about the novel is the way magic is handled in the story world. They don't just read spells from a tome. Heck, tomes don't seem to exist! Instead, there are different abilities that enhance a person's strength, speed, or senses, or let them manipulate the emotions of others, or let them push and pull on metal and so on. I don't know how the author came up with it, but it's very creative."
"Ooh, you're both talking about Misten, aren't you?" Cynthia asked enthusiastically, "That's my favorite book! The heroine is just so incredible!"
Nah nodded, "She's my favorite character. I like how in the beginning of the novel, she was so quiet and suspicious of everyone. She acted shy, but she had a strong will. The over time, she gets closer to the others in the thieving crew and actually trusts them. I find it inspiring . . . Although things are looking grim. I'm at the part where her mentor is killed by the God Emperor."
"Well, I won't spoiler anything, but I'm sure you'll love the ending." Cynthia said. Morgan nodded in agreement.
As the three of them continued to talk about earlier parts of the novel, Nah thought to herself that it was an odd scene. Maybe not for her and Morgan, but certainly for Cynthia to be involved in the discussion. Nah was impressed that Cynthia liked the book, though as they talked, she understood why. Not only was it because the book starred a dynamic heroine, but the thieving crew reminded her of her father.
Nah found it pleasant that they could talk about something as trivial as a novel with people she genuinely considered friends. She hoped that this peace would last. She also noticed that she stopped feeling flustered around Morgan ̶ at least for the time being.
Their discussion was winding down when Lucina approached the table they were sitting at.
"Hey, Sis!" Morgan said cheerfully. The two girls also greeted the princess.
"Hello. It seems you three were having quite the discourse," she said.
"Oh, we were just talking about that book Misten," Morgan explained.
"Ah, I see. Strange how popular that novel is in this army," Lucina said idly, "Oh, but the reason I'm here is to ask you something, Morgan."
"Hm? What is it?"
"Mother has been looking all over for a new strategy book she purchased before we left port. She wants to ask you if you know of its whereabouts."
Morgan cringed as his eyes widened, "I, uh, I'm pretty sure I know where it is." He then stood up and continued, "I better go check!"
As he hurried away, Lucina smiled and said, "That boy is so transparent. I'm sorry for leaving so abruptly, but he may need my help in finding that book."
"That's all right," Nah said.
"See you later, Lucy!" Cynthia added.
Nah watched the princess catch up with her brother. She then heard a knowing giggle from the girl sitting next to her. Something about her laughed irked Nah.
"What is it?" she asked in a deadpan tone as she turned to look at her. The dragonkin's eyes narrowed when she saw the huge grin on Cynthia's face.
"Someone's got a cru-ush!" The pegasus knight said in a singsong manner.
"Huh?" Nah blurted. She reeled back a little and blushed, "Wh-what are you talking about?"
"I saw the way you were staring at Morgan. So you were day-dreaming!"
"I-I wasn't..."
"So you're going to deny it? Cynthia asked.
"I . . . I don't know."
Was that what she was feeling? Was that why it centered around Morgan?
Cynthia blinked, "You don't know?"
"It's not something I've given a lot of thought to before," Nah replied. It was half true. When Nah was younger, she fantasized about meeting some dashing young man, falling in love, and getting married. She was infatuated with Inigo when she first met him. His philandering and the way he thought of her as a child un-endeared her to him, though. She didn't even care to chastise him about his flirting anymore, and that was before she found out that he was courting Lucina. She thought of her feelings as childish and focused on her place in the army. Romance was the furthest thing from her mind; or so she thought.
"You really never thought of it before?" Cynthia asked, sounding both skeptical and amused.
"U-um no. We've been kind of busy with the war," Nah replied hesitatingly.
"In that case, then, what do you think of Morgan?"
"What do I . . ." Nah trailed off. That was somehow a much more complicated question than it sounded.
Cynthia lowered her voice and said, "Don't worry. There's no one else at this table. You can tell me. Just say whatever pops into your mind."
Nah wanted to fight down her blush, but she knew she was failing at that. She could smell no deceitful intent from the ginger-haired girl. There was curiosity and a want to tease Nah, but there was mostly a genuine desire to listen to her and help her. The half-breed manakete did want to sort through her feelings, and perhaps telling a friend would do just that. Nah let out an audible sigh before she began to talk.
"Morgan is very friendly, kind, considerate, and trustworthy. He's easy to talk to, whether it's about something serious or casual. He's a little childish sometimes, but it doesn't really bother me. His optimism is contagious, and being around him always puts me in a better mood. I really enjoy spending time with him, and lately . . ."
"And lately?" Cynthia prodded.
Nah sighed again, "And lately . . . whenever I'm around Morgan or think of him, I feel really happy, and a little nervous. Even with the nervousness part, I feel like I want to with him all of the time."
Cynthia grinned, "Yep, you like him. And I mean the serious kind of like."
Nah's eyes widened and she blushed even more deeply than before.
"I … I mean, Morgan is a very good friend, but …" Nah sputtered. He was her dearest friend. Yet there was more to it than even that. She really cared about him.
"That doesn't mean you can't be more than friends," Cynthia said with a wink.
The blonde girl didn't reply. What could she say to that?
"You don't have to be embarrassed, Nah. It's normal to fall for someone at your age."
"I'm the same age as you."
"Then it's normal for people at our age to fall for someone!" The slight scent of teasing had dissipated from Cynthia. "Morgan is a really sweet guy, too. I can see why you would like him. He has nothing on Gerome, of course."
Cynthia's words were simple, but they and the shift in her scent eased Nah's embarrassment.
"I guess I just never expected it. As I said before, I never really thought things like crushes and falling in love." Not for a long time, anyway, Nah added in thought, "Morgan is … he's my first real friend. You know how long it took us to become friends?"
"Yeah," she replied.
"That's because Morgan told me that you wouldn't make fun of someone. I found out he was right and I became friends with you."
"Ohh! Yeah, you used to be kind of a loner. You're still not exactly a social butterfly, but now that I think about it, you have changed a little. So, it's because of Morgan, huh? Your first friend becomes your first crush … That's adorable!" Cynthia grinned widely again. She was doing that a lot today.
No, not my first crush, Nah thought, blushing. Her feelings for Morgan were different from the ones she once had for Inigo. She was mostly drawn to the wannabe dancer for his handsome face and his voice. It was a superficial attraction, one that was easy to discard. Morgan, however, she liked for many different reasons. She was drawn to his intelligence, his curiosity, his idealism, his caring nature, his open-mindedness, his enthusiasm, and more. She like Morgan as a whole, and not mostly for his looks.
Not that he isn't good-looking. He's dashing in his own, youthful way. And in a year or two, he'll probably … Nah thought to herself before blushing a deeper red.
"Oh Naga, I really do like Morgan. Maybe even … love him."
"See? Doesn't it feel better to just say it out loud?" Cynthia asked.
"Y-yeah. I suppose," Nah admitted. She finally understood her feelings. She had fallen for Morgan because she knew she could really trust him. No … She had been falling for him slowly. She just needed to be pushed over the edge from fondness to love.
"So … what do I do now? How do I know that he likes me back?" Nah cringed when she realized what she just said to the pegasus knight. She only now recognized that she had fallen for the boy and she was already thinking about Morgan liking her back? As more than a friend?
"That's something you have to figure out for yourself," Cynthia replied.
"Really?" Nah asked, realizing how simplistic that sounded.
"Well, yeah. I mean, I'm not an expert on love or anything, though. But since everyone is different, it means they have different ways to deal with crushes and stuff. I just told Gerome right out that I love him. I told him a few times and he still took a while to get it. Anyway, you have to decide when, how, or even if you're gonna tell him."
"I … need to think about it more before I do anything else. This is still really new to me," Nah said hesitatingly.
"I understand," Cynthia said as she placed a hand on Nah's shoulder, "I know I said I'm not an expert, but I do think you should go for it and tell him. I don't think he'd say no." Nah blushed deeper at that last remark.
"I don't know," Nah eventually replied, "But still, thanks, Cynthia. I appreciate the advice."
Nah never would have thought she would say that to a girl she used to think was a scatter brain. It was funny how life worked sometimes.
"Hey, what are friends for?"
Nah went silent for a while before she said, "You … aren't going to blab about this to the others, are you?"
"Aw, come on, Nah. Have a little more faith in me! I kept Owain's crush on Severa a secret for a long time. Now look at 'em!"
That was another couple that caught Nah by surprise. Owain and Severa seemed too different from each other and Severa could be a difficult person to get along with. Yet they recently began to court openly and the two really seemed to love each other.
There were many odd couples in this army, come to think of it. Cynthia and Gerome were as different as night and day. Then there were Nah's own parents, a thousand-year-old manakte who insisted on acting like a child and a monk who looked so much like a woman that he was sometimes mistaken for her mother when they went into town together.
"Yep, you don't even have to let me up on top of your head while you're in dragon form to keep me from blabbing. It wouldn't hurt …"
Nah narrowed her eyes and said, "That was forced."
"Can't blame a girl for trying," she said with a chuckle.
AN: Hey look, I actually managed to get a chapter out sooner than I thought I would! Also, look at the aromantic asexual try and write romance! *Flails arms about*
Heh, sorry about that. It took me this long to write a long romance fic, and I'm still not sure I'm doing it well. I'm also worried more for this chapter than in past ones about someone acting out of character. I suppose you, my dear readers, will be the judges of that.
And yes, I did include a longish reference to my favorite book series in this chapter. Yes, it is terribly cheesy, but I couldn't help myself. Don't worry, it will almost never come up again after this.
On a final note, I don't want to promise too much, but I may actually be able to finish this fic before the end of the year. Maybe chapters will even come out sooner than every 3-10 months. Maybe. We'll see. As always, please review, and let me know what you think!
