Chapter 9: A new room

Dan was sat in Dave's room, again. Dan had been here for two months now, but he'd ended up in Dave's office way more than he should have. He knew if this was any other care home he'd have been kicked out by now, but it wasn't. Dave was always telling him that they weren't going to give up that easily, and for that Dan was thankful. He found that he did really like it here; school wasn't even that bad anymore. He didn't have any real friends, but people didn't hate him. There were people who were willing to work with Dan in class, and teachers had actually started ringing Dave recently to tell him he was doing really well. Dan enjoyed some of his subjects, his favourite being media, which had never happened before. In all his past schools the teachers had just left him to it, deciding that he wasn't worth putting the effort in. They assumed that he wouldn't want to learn, that he wouldn't care. Sure, Dan had to go to a lot of after school sessions to catch up, but he didn't mind. He'd found out that he was actually good at science and maths, and his general studies teacher was really impressed with the effort Dan had been putting in. It wasn't his fault that he had to go to after school sessions, but with all the changing of schools he'd done, he'd missed out on all the basics. Not only were the lessons pretty good, but Dan really enjoyed hanging out with Phil at break and lunch times. They just sat and talked while they ate, and Dan really enjoyed it. He'd never been one for talking, but he guessed that had changed. He didn't feel the need to segregate himself anymore. He guessed this was probably because of the one thing he didn't enjoy about this new life. He didn't have to have therapy at the care home anymore, but he had to go to an outside facility. Dave had decided that it was better that Dan didn't have to deal with Miss Miles again, and Dan wasn't going to argue. Now every Monday after school, Dave had to drive him to a therapist in the town centre.

It was nowhere near as bad as the Dan's first experience of therapy of course, but he still didn't enjoy it. He didn't see why he should have to tell someone about his personal life. He hated it at first; it took about 3 weeks to get him to warm up to the idea. His new therapist was a funny man called Graham. He didn't make Dan tell him things if he didn't want to, and if Dan had a bad day he would happily just sit there in silence for the hour and a half. To start with they just talked about easy things, like his school work and what Dan liked to do in his spare time. Now they talked about more personal things, like what he thought about when he couldn't sleep, and what he wanted to do with his life. Dan still struggled to sleep sometimes, but it wasn't as bad anymore. Phil would normally sit with him while he went to sleep, and just talk to him. Something about Phil being there just calmed him. Dan didn't like talking about what stopped him from sleeping. All he'd told Graham so far was that he couldn't stop thinking about things like his mum. That wasn't completely true though. Of course he thought about his mum sometimes, but these days he found that he spent a lot of time thinking about his time with Phil. Just normal things, like watching DVD's, playing on the games console when they could get near it, watching Phil draw.

Dan struggled a bit with the discussions about the future to, he found it was something he just didn't want to think about. Graham had told him it was probably because he finally felt happy since his mum had died, and it was scary to think that one day it might all change again. Dan found himself agreeing. There was already a big change looming, and Dan hated thinking about it. Phil only had 3 months left here, and even though he promised Dan he would visit all the time, he found himself doubting it. Phil was going out into the real world, why would he want to come back here? Dan wouldn't want to visit, to be constantly reminded of a past he'd happily leave behind. That wasn't true anymore though, was it? He was happy here, why would he leave this behind? This was why Dan tried not to think about Phil leaving, it scared him. It scared him that he'd lose his only friend. It scared him that he would be left to entertain Oliver and Lucy on his own. It scared him that he was scared. It scared him that he might never figure out why he needed Phil so much. There's three months left, stop thinking about it! He commanded himself.

Dave was staring at him, obviously waiting for a response. Dan realised he hadn't been listening to a word Dave had said, and he didn't want to admit it. He wasn't even sure why he had been called here. He couldn't think of anything he had done. He hadn't got in to anymore fights in school, he hadn't got in an argument with Jake, and he hadn't made a new twitter since they made him delete his last one. He decided to place it safe and just said nervously "Er, im sorry?" Dave laughed and then said sympathetically "Lot on your mind? I could up your meetings to twice a week if you want." Dan shook his head quickly and whispered "No, its fine. Dave, why am I here?" Dave shook his head, chuckling and said "I just brought you in here to tell you that Sarah and Phil are waiting in the car outside" Dan raised his eyebrows, confused, and Dave grinned. "I figured you'd want Phil to come with you." He slid some money across the table and continued "You've settled in, and you've had your problems, but I've decided that you're not going anywhere. We're going to get through this, and I figured it might be easier on you if you felt comfortable in your room. You're free to do what you want with it, as long as it is age appropriate, of course." He smirked, and watched as Dan realised what he was being told. "Are you being serious? Do I get to decorate my room?" Dave nodded, grinning and Dan high fived him. "Finally! Do I get to go now?" Dave nodded again and said "That was the point. It's Friday, so I figure you can buy all the stuff today and then spend tomorrow decorating. There isn't a lot of money here, but Phil's pretty good with making it stretch, so I figure you'll be fine." Dan sprung up and hugged Dave, grinning widely, before running out of the room. Wait, did he just hug Dave? Oops. He was stood outside the office, slightly shocked at his own behaviour, when Dave popped his head out of the doorway. "Er, Dan, are you forgetting something?" He waved the money at Dan who laughed and took it. "Thanks Dave, and, um… sorry about the hug." Dave chuckled slightly before saying "It's all right Dan. It's not bad to care about people you know. Although I suppose you think you're too old for hugs, huh?" Dan just laughed and then ran towards the front door, waving as he went.

A few hours later Dan and Phil were wandering around the town centre, Sarah a few metres behind to give them some space. They were lugging bags full of paint and a few cushions, and now they were wandering in and out of charity shops looking for some basic furniture. They'd bought small pots of every colour available and a large pot of black, blue, green and red. They would never have been able to get them so cheaply if Phil wasn't such a great haggler. "Phil, you have to do like some murals and stuff in my room, ok?" Dan babbled and Phil grinned. "You're so cute when you're excited!"

Cute. Why had he said that? Why did he mess things up all the time? He froze, waiting for Dan to shout, to run away, but he didn't. He just grinned at Phil showing his adorable dimples and said "You think I'm cute?" Oh, he was he meant to reply to that? What did Dan want him to say? He saw his favourite charity shop and drag Dan towards it quickly, exclaiming "I love this place!"

A few more hours later and they were all flagging. It was about 8 o'clock and none of them had eaten. They started wandering back towards the car, arms aching and backs slumping. They finally reached it a put the many bags into the boot, when Phil noticed one Dan had been carrying. "What's in there?" he asked curiously and Dan smiled mischievously. "Just a few final touches". Phil shook his head, chuckling. Dan was obviously committed to not telling him what was in there, and he didn't have the energy to try and convince him. They climbed into the car and waited for Sarah to close the boot and climb in. Dan and Phil were crushed together slightly, because Phil had to sit in the tiny middle seat due to the car seat that took up a place in the car. He leant against Dan slightly, absolutely exhausted, and sighed. Soon Sarah had climbed in, and they started the drive back in an exhausted silence. After about ten minutes Sarah glanced into her rear view mirror to see Phil slumped next to the elder boy. She coughed slightly, but he didn't move. He just lifted his eyes to look at her. "So guys, I was wondering… Do you want to get a McDonalds? We've missed dinner sooo?" They both nodded vigorously, and she laughed. "You can't tell the others, all right? If you do I will personally kill you."

They ate their food in the car and then carried on driving back. Eventually they made it inside, and Phil and Dan headed straight to Dan's room. Dan collapsed on the bed, sighing. Phil leant against the wall, and laughed slightly at the look of pure bliss on his friends face. "Comfy?" he asked, yawning, and he heard Dan chuckle slightly. "Yup" he shuffled over slightly and patted the space next to him. "Come lie down" he yawned, his eyes screwing shut in the cutest way. "Oh, you sure?" Dan nodded, still yawning. Phil chuckled slightly and wandered towards the bed. Dan stared at him and teased "It's your fault, your yawns are contagious!" Phil chuckled and climbed onto the bed, lying down next to Dan. They stared around the room for a few minutes and then Dan spoke. "Phil, you ever feel as though you're just so happy, you just want to stay where you are forever?" Phil smiled and replied "Yeah. I'd just like to freeze today and re-live it over and over. I'm just so… happy." He stayed silent for a few moments and then continued "Dan, I'm scared. I dunno, I just… I don't want to grow up I guess. I don't want to have to get my own place; I don't want to get a job. I like how it is now" he rolled over to face Dan. There was silence for a few more moments, and then Dan reached out his hand. He took Phil's hand in his and said "I know. I don't think anyone wants to grow up, not really. I remember when I realised I was going to have to look after my mum. I didn't want to grow up then, and I don't want to grow up when I have to leave. There's nothing we can do though." Phil watched as a grin slowly spread across Dan's face and then said "I don't think you and me are ever really gonna grow up you know. I could picture myself as an old man playing x-box and watching Pokémon." Phil chuckled and said "I'd like to be like that."

A while later Dave was banging on the door, telling them both it was Dan's curfew. Dan sighed and muttered to Phil "It's not fair" he pouted slightly "I want a 10 o'clock curfew, then I could stay up with you." Did he just say that? Great, just great. Go on and freak your only friend out Dan. Twat. Phil just chuckled and rolled out of the bed. "Don't worry, I'll see you tomorrow! Then we get to brighten up this place!" Dan smiled at him and waved sleepily as Phil sauntered out, shutting the door behind him. A few minutes later he had changed into his pyjamas and he was lying on top of his covers. It was too hot to snuggle up like he normally did, so he just splayed out his limbs like a starfish. He glanced over at the pile of bags in his bedroom corner and felt a rush of excitement. He glanced around the boring bedroom, looking forward to making it his.