A/N: We're getting close to a conclusion! Warning: lemon scene.
Hyuuga Neji – Nonchalant.
I had spent the next few months watching Hinata slowly spend more and more of her days outside the Hyuuga walls, out shopping with friends, out on petty missions, but mostly out with Naruto, who I had come to despise in recent times.
It was a slow transition. At first, she only went out twice a week, maybe less, and came back within an hour and a half. Each time looking a little bit more lost, a little bit more upset; soon it had become clear to me that she was clinging to her sanity by a thread. She was clearly fighting something within herself, and she seemed to be oblivious to everything around her, even the fact that I was doing what I had always done - tracing her every movement. But this time, I wasn't the only one following Hinata.
Every time I turned around, Hanabi was there, the flames of her white hot eyes igniting my hatred for her. There were a few things I noticed about the girl. The first thing was her appearance, she had definitely taken on a more mature look, her once round face now angular and pixie like, her limbs slender yet strong, her hair thin, long and spindly. In almost every way, she reminded me of a venomous spider, her unchanging expression, widened eyes and sometimes a slightly open mouth, those damned thin fingers all over Hinata, her tender yet seemingly vicious acts of adoration… slowly but surely she was weaving a web that Hinata was unknowingly becoming stuck in. Sooner or later I'd lose everything I'd had with Hinata – and that wasn't much.
It didn't take long for Hinata to spend all of her waking moments in the village, coming home only to retire to her room, leaving almost immediately every morning. I kept a very close watch on her, and despite what was probably my best interests, I once again began pursuing her outside the estate walls. Seeing her with Naruto was almost intolerable – soon I began balling up my fists so tight that my palms often would bleed, gritting my teeth until my vision blurred from the pressure, just from seeing Naruto touch her. He was far too rough with her, when he patted her on the back she'd nearly topple over, and occasionally he'd brush her bosom, but it was too damned obvious what he was trying to do. Did this man have no sense of restraint? I almost laughed at how the both of them together never noticed my presence, or even my bloodlust.
Before coming home each evening, I'd wander into the forest aimlessly, blinded by rage, jealousy and frustration, and eventually end up in a training ground. Sometimes it'd only take me fifteen minutes, sometimes hours to exercise to the point of complete exhaustion. I never practiced jutsu, only physical activity, as I didn't want anyone to detect my chakra. I didn't want anyone to know where I was, because if anyone had come across me in that state I don't doubt that I would render them unrecognizable. That, or dead.
I was sick of thinking about what Naruto was doing to Hinata. The mere thought of his hands on her disgusted me, what was worse was the fact that anyone else in the world might feel just the same about my hands on her. She was my cousin, after all, a blood relative, practically my sister. There was just too many things wrong with this for me to even attempt to justify my feelings for her. I was at the point where I was sick of fighting my urge, I was sick of watching her fall. I wanted to hold her, I wanted for her to be close, fuck the consequences. God, I wanted her, as wrong as it was.
I left the training grounds in a stupor, my shirt long discarded and now hanging out of the pocket of my muddy sweatpants. My body was slick with sweat, my hair was greasy and my muscles still tingled from the work out, but I felt good walking along the various trails. I found a stream and quickly cleaned myself off, then walked naked through the woods, keeping a very close eye on my surroundings, letting my body dry off in the late summer breeze. I could smell the coming of fall in the air, and I could see the dark, coral sunset through the dense trees. The sun had long since fallen behind the mountains, but the glow still seeped through the woods, and it was nearly nightfall by the time I had made it back to the Hyuuga grounds.
Before emerging from the trees, I slipped on my pants and shoes, and quickly tied back my hair. My headband was still in my bedroom, I hadn't worn it all day. I had replaced it with some bandaging which I had taken off while I was washing myself, so I wore my curse mark openly as I wandered down the path that led me to the gates of the estate. My mind was blissfully free of thoughts as I came into the kitchen after abandoning my shoes. For the first time in months, I felt at peace. I don't know why, but I just stood there, staring at the entrance to the hallway, thinking absentmindedly how nice it was to not have a care in the world. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I heard light footsteps along the hallway, and it didn't really click that perhaps someone was coming my direction.
Oh, Hinata's standing in the corridor. Why is that?
My mind awoke with a start, and along with it my very vivid emotions. About a hundred things became clear in my mind, and before I knew it,
"Where are you going?" fell out of my mouth. It was slightly slurred, but had a huge level of intensity, it almost felt as if it was the first time I had talked in a millennia. An exciting moment for me, really.
Hinata's mouth lay aghast, and she simply stared at me, fear stricken. I must've really sounded angry; I must really be angry.
"Neji… I'm going out for a b-bit."
Hm, she stuttered.
In that moment, I drank in everything about her. Her irises, which I once compared to pearls, were a dull grey surrounded by puffy, red skin. Her clothing was plain - simple jeans and a sweater, her hair askew and dreary. She looked as if she hadn't slept in months, or eaten, for that matter. Her once full, round breasts seemed smaller and oddly shaped, her body thin and awkward and her face hollow. It hit me like a ton of bricks that somehow this was my fault. It was my fault for letting her get this way.
I loved her, didn't I? I wonder if Naruto even noticed that she was fading into nothingness. I wonder if he cared, or if he was just too stupid to realize. How could I allow this to happen? Despite how fucking insane my feelings were for her, I did love her. As much as I wished I could have hated her, what difference would it have made anyways? There's such a fine line between love and hate, sometimes I didn't know exactly which side I was leaning toward. Either way, she was always in my head, her voice always in my ear, her body always under my hand.
No, I realized in that moment that it doesn't matter whether I loved Hinata or I hated her, because it wouldn't change how much I wanted her. And in that moment, nothing could've stopped me. My emotions boiled over, and I no longer controlled my movements. They were slow, yet very direct, and before I knew it I had Hinata in a strong embrace. I was deaf and blind to the entire world, all of my attention was on her. Every single movement, every heartbeat, every whimper, everything about her was so acute. I didn't even care that she was pushing away from me, that she was scratching my bare back and raising her voice in fear. Funny, even though all I could hear was her, I never really understood what she meant by, "Let me go," even with that panicked voice of hers.
My body was on auto pilot. Without releasing her, I led us both outside and out of the grounds, back onto the familiar path leading to what was once her garden. It had been so long since I was there, I was surprised that I even recognized it once we had arrived. My mind was so overrun with nostalgic thoughts that I didn't realize that Hinata was hitting me. I turned my attention over to her and became aware that she was close to crying – oh, I must've been holding her wrist too tightly. Had I dragged her the whole way here?
"Neji, please…"
She was talking, maybe I should listen. I let go of her, half expecting her to run away, but she simply collapsed to her knees, sobbing and holding her wrist in pain, muttering to herself. It broke my heart to see her so sad.
"Hinata," I said, my voice husky and wired, "Hinata, what are you doing?"
"I don't know what you mea-"
"Of course you do!" I yelled. I felt anger boiling my blood, my want for her driving me mad. "Do you think I don't see what you're doing with Naruto? Are you so blind as to not see what he is doing with you?"
She sat, eyes glued to the ground, "I like him."
"You love me."
She suddenly stopped, and slowly her eyes found their way to mine. I looked down at her, and after much debate, got down on my knees. I took her hand, kissing it directly, lapping at the wound I must've inflicted. Her skin tasted good… it wasn't salty, like I might've imagined, but almost tasted like water. Despite how unhealthy she might've looked, she was very warm and flushed, and I soon felt her body give in to mine. We melted into an embrace, her head resting on my bare chest, her one hand propping herself up while the other was taken hostage by my kisses. It felt so good to feel her skin again.
"Please don't," she muttered, shutting her eyes and inhaling a deep breath. She seemed exhausted, but I didn't mind. A light breeze sifted through the trees and her hair moved in such a way that it tickled my arm. She shifted her body so that she was seated in my lap, her legs around my back. I surrendered her arm in exchange for her lips, and dove in, driving her to the ground.
"I don't want to…" she whispered, each of her pleas sounding more and more fake than the last.
Her lips were chapped, yet still somehow very soft and plump. Our kiss wasn't exactly what I imagined it would be… it was very warm and supple, and for me it was almost an awkward feeling, but at the same time my instincts told me it was good. That this was good, that my hands traveling up and down her body, pulling off her shirt, undoing the drawstring of her pants, the pathway of my kisses leading to her breasts… this was all good. So, so good. My mind and body were in such an uproar of feelings that I don't even know where to start describing them. I felt so in the moment, as if there was nothing else that could bring me back to earth. It was just me and Hinata and the forest, nothing else, there was no Hyuuga, there was no ninja, there was no Naruto or Hanabi or rules, just impulse, just sensation. I stopped, and looked down at the girl before me.
"You love me, Hinata," I whispered.
At this point Hinata began kissing me back; also pulling off the little clothing I was wearing, feeling my body like she had done so many times before. The only difference was that now there were no consequences, there was no holding back. You would think, knowing our history, that this moment would be filled with passionate insanity, that we both would be going berserk just by being this close. It had slowly dawned on me that the only reason we had ever been so emotionally unstable, the only reason I ever truly hated her was because I were fighting the force that was trying to bring us together. And now, in this eternal moment of bliss, I finally had Hinata to myself. Now was our moment. My breath grew heavy and my face flustered, her quiet moans driving my body to euphoria, and I began growing impatient.
It was an eternity before she was ready, but eventually she nodded. My eyes closed as she guided me along, and she repositioned herself a few times before she allowed me to push myself into her, breaking her maidenhead. She gasped, perhaps in pain, and I waited for her to exhale before moving on. She wrapped her arms over my shoulders, reaching up and resting her chin on my head. We both sat, intertwined, waiting. It felt like forever before she started moving, and she reached up and gave me the gentlest of kisses, right on my curse mark. I could tell she was implying for me to start a rhythm.
This was an entirely new sensation for me. The knowledge that I was inside of Hinata, that I was now a part of her alone could've sent my heart into oblivion, but there was so much more to it. The pleasure was ecstasy; I had never felt anything more exhilarating. I felt myself gaining speed, acutely aware of every sound Hinata was making, trying to pick up her bodily queues. Soon both of our bodies were slick with sweat, her moans becoming more loud, more prominent. I could feel her nails digging into my back, her panting and moaning become simultaneous.
Our movements became faster, harder, more intense, I could almost feel her pleasure coupled with my own.
"Neji!"
I lost all control, and I felt her contracting hard around me. I felt a warm pooling between my legs, and in that moment realized that we had climaxed. I let out a moan and began slowing down, our rhythm ceasing until we were both still, panting; gazing at each other.
I waited inside her for a very long time, moving her hair out of her face and touching her lips, feeling every single part of my body relax. I don't think I had ever felt this level of peace in my entire life. Every ounce of my being was calm, all I could feel anymore was my love for Hinata. I gently pulled out of her and lay beside her, pulling her close to me. She rested her head over my chest, bidding my arms to wrap around her shoulders.
It was a long time before either one of us had spoke. Clearly our feelings were mutual, seeing as what had just happened. Her warmth melted the ice in my heart, and gazing at the stars I could only think of the first night I had realized my feelings for her.
"Neji…" she whispered, burying her head deeper into my chest, "what do we do now?"
She said it so nonchalantly, so simple and plain. As if I knew the answer. What had just happened was so wrong, I couldn't even imagine what would happen if anyone had found out. I knew what we had just done, and my heart sank at the thought…
But what do we do now?
--
R&R
