Thank you so much for all of your reviews! I'm so sorry this took so long! I've had so much work to do! I know that's a stupid excuse and promise to try and update sooner next time! Here you go…
"What?" Eric asked, not quite believing what he had just heard.
"I'm pregnant," Calleigh replied, regretting her decision to tell him already, it had been too soon, she should have waited; he couldn't handle it right now.
Eric stood up, his head was going crazy, Calleigh was pregnant, she was having his baby, he was going to be a dad.
Calleigh, sat and waited, terrified by the silence; did he hate her now? Was this really too much?
"Eric….please….say something," Calleigh pleaded.
Eric turned around and looked at her.
"I don't know what to say," he confessed.
"How do you feel about it?" Calleigh, desperately trying to make him admit he was pleased by this development, he had to be, surely.
"I… I don't know…" Eric started.
"Are you happy, angry, confused….what?" Calleigh asked, standing up and walking toward him.
"I'm….I'm confused," Eric confessed, "I don't know what I feel, I can barely even drag myself out of bed in the mornings, I can't go for more than five minutes without thinking about what happened. I can't even protect myself, or you, how am I supposed to be able to protect my child?"
"Eric you do a fantastic job of protecting me," Calleigh started, "what happened was not your fault, you didn't want it!"
"Didn't I?" Eric yelled, he knew he should stop this, he didn't want to fight with her, he loved her, he was just screwed up, and nothing he said seemed to help.
"Eric…please," Calleigh argued, but he interrupted.
"Maybe I did want it, maybe I was asking for it!" Eric shouted again, his voice getting louder.
"Eric, that's not true!" Calleigh said, "None of this is your fault!"
"It is!" Eric started, "they were behind me, pushing my head into the pavement, I couldn't breath, I didn't know what to do, they just kept going!"
Calleigh's heart broke, she knew he had to talk about this, it was the only thing that could help him move on. She let him continue.
"I wanted it to stop! I tried to move away, but there was two of them, I couldn't move! When the first guy finished, the other guy started."
"Eric, listen to me! You did not deserve this! It's not your fault!"
"Calleigh you don't understand!" Eric yelled, "I climaxed!" Eric stopped, dissolving into tears.
Calleigh moved him back toward the couch and sat him down.
"I'm sorry Calleigh! I'm so sorry!" The shame he felt was too great to even begin to explain, how could he have let that happen?
"Eric no! This is not your fault…"
"But I…." Eric tried to interrupt but Calleigh wouldn't let him.
"No! You didn't climax because you enjoyed it Eric, you know that! Direct stimulation causes the body to act in ways you don't want it to."
"But…"
"Eric, please don't think that happened because you wanted it to, they probably wanted you to, they knew how it'd make you feel, they wanted to humiliate you, but you can't let them win Eric, you just can't! You're stronger than that! I know you are!"
"Calleigh, I don't know what to do, how is this ever going to be ok?"
"It will be, I promise," Calleigh started, "can I tell you a story?"
Eric just nodded, wondering where this was going.
"When I was a kid," Calleigh paused wondering whether she should do this now, but she had to make him understand so she continued, "there was a man, his name was Adam, he was a friend of my dads." Calleigh paused for a second, trying to gauge what Eric was thinking. "He never used to come round when they all came round together, only ever on his own. He'd pay dad and take me out for the day, he was nice."
"He never…." Eric interrupted, but was stopped by Calleigh who continued the story.
"He did, but listen, he was nice, he used to take me to the mall and to the cinema and out for meals, he'd buy me toys and clothes, he was good to me. At the end of the day he'd take me back to his place and into his bedroom, only he wasn't like the other guys, he'd light candles and try and make it romantic. I was 12, he had no right either way, I know that now, but he was gentle and loving, completely different to the others, when he had sex with me he tried to make it gentle and he told me that he loved me. Then when he finished he'd take me home. I ended up looking forward to the times when he took me out, it meant the others weren't going to try. Did I deserve what he did? Did I want it?" Calleigh asked, looking up toward Eric.
"No! Of course not!" Eric said, astounded that she could ever think that had been her fault.
"But I took the clothes and the meals and the toys! I looked forward to him coming around! How is that not my fault?"
"It's not!" Eric argued.
"Then how is this your fault?" Calleigh argued.
"But…"
"No, Eric listen to me, just because you find yourself reacting in one way to a situation doesn't mean you want to act like that, it's physiological, you had no control over it!"
"Then why do I feel so guilty?"
"That's how they wanted you to feel! They wanted to humiliate you! Make you think it was your fault! That way you wouldn't tell anyone and they'd get away with it!"
"But…"
"Eric please! Believe me!" Calleigh begged.
"I'm so confused! I just….." Eric started.
"I need you Eric," Calleigh said taking hold of his hand and placing it on her stomach, "we need you."
"But I'm not strong enough!"
"You're stronger than you think Eric, I need you so much," Calleigh begged, "I'm so scared, I'm having our baby and I can't help but think what happened to Emma is going to happen again! I can't do this on my own Eric! I couldn't cope if that happened again! I love you Eric, please! I need you!" Calleigh dissolved into tears.
Eric took hold of her, she placed her head on his chest and he pulled her closer, placing a hand in between them so he could place a hand on her stomach.
"It's ok," Eric comforted, his own tears also taking over, "it won't happen again, it's going to be ok, I promise."
Calleigh hoped it would be, she needed Eric back, she was too scared to go through this alone and she knew Eric would be a fantastic father, but she needed him now and she was terrified of losing him as well, and now she had confirmation he wanted to try.
TBC…
Ok, so that's it for now, but I promise I'll update again soon! If you read this please review! I would really appreciate that! Thank you! I'll update again as soon as possible!
