Sorry for not updating Dirty Little Secret. I'm trying to squeeze in the other fics, since THEN I'll be stuck like gluw to DLS because of brain storming and school. Here it is!

Disclaimer : I do not own Princess Tutu at all

Warning : Major OOC, unsurprising

Presenting : What Princess Tutu Characters would NEVER say

Now with : Edel!

"Got problems? Suck it up."

"Wanna buy a watch?" (opens up jacket)

"Help...me...the music box is glued to my hands..."

"I went to clown school when I was your age!"

"No way Imma burn my ass off fo you. Find your out way yourselves." (episode 13)

"I don't know why Drossylmeyer thinks I'm a hooker with so much make-up on. He made me like this!"

"Your face."

"Ignore the shotgun Ahiru, I put it in my jewelery box just in case thieves come by...or folks who don't pay enough money."

"Beware...THE BRITISH ARE COMING!"

"I need to contact my ex-boyfriend for child support. I can't raise Uzura myself without money can I?"

"Anyone seen my condoms? I left them in my jewelery box before selling another gem and...oh dear."

"I'm actually a sex puppet."

"I need to move out of this town, nothing but ravens and freaks." (smokes on cigarette)

"Ahiru, what is the problem?" (Ahiru tells her everything from when she's a duck till when Mytho's a raven) "Wow, sucks to be you."

"Would anyone like some cocaine...I mean, would anyone like some gems?" (looks around suspiciously)

The End!

I might use Autor, Pique And Lilie but I'm not sure if I can think enough for them so the next chapter might be the last chapter. The last chapter is a surprise, not quite the normal previous chapters.