Weddings and Disasters
Present
It had been a long and stressful day, and that was putting it lightly.
Mary Margaret and David's wedding had gone off beautifully and Emma was so happy to see them start a new phase of their life together. But it also had been a long day of running around making sure everything was going on scheduled and no one was complaining too loudly.
After making sure that someone was going to make sure everyone left the reception before the sun rose, Emma quickly left. Most of her friend had left already and it was mostly just family of Mary and Margaret and David sitting around talking anyway, so she didn't feel the least bit guilty. Maybe it was the champagne affecting her head, but Emma knew exactly where she was going.
Feet hurting from the hours standing in her tall high heels, Emma slipped them off and knocked on the apartment door, hoping the carpet in the hallway wasn't too disgusting to be standing barefoot on. A minute later when the door hadn't been opened yet, Emma pounded on it again harder, realizing that he had probably been asleep.
"Why do you have to wake up a man trying to sleep?" Killian groaned when he opened the door, his mouth snapping shut when he saw Emma standing in his doorway.
"Hey," Emma said nonchalantly, stepping into the apartment and closing the door behind her as she dropped her heels on the floor. She looked him up and down, thinking how goddamn adorable he looked right now. His hair was mused with sleep, he was wearing those adorable pajama bottoms with little anchors on them that she had bought him, and he was just looking at her all confused with bleary eyes. "Let's watch a movie," she suggested, breaking through the heavy silence in the room.
Without even waiting for his response Emma went to the kitchen, preparing the water and getting everything ready to make tea. While waiting for the water to boil, she went to the bedroom. Yep, everything was still exactly in the same place just like she had expected. It made her more satisfied than she'd like to admit, how easily she could slip back into his life like nothing had changed. She wanted this with Killian tonight, needed it. After watching her best friend marry the love of her life, she couldn't go back to the empty loft and just go to sleep. No, she needed a reminder that she didn't have to be alone all the time. That she could still spontaneously show up at Killian's apartment and know where everything was and just feel comfortable being with someone so familiar.
Remembering she was still wearing her long bridesmaids dress, Emma shuffled out to where Killian was setting up a movie just like she expected him to. "Killian?" she called out, biting back a giggle when he dropped the remote in surprise. "Can you help get me out of this dress?"
He looked like he was going to refuse until he gruffly responded. "Turn around," he said, his face blank. Feeling that familiar tightening sensation low in her belly, Emma stood still as Killian carefully unzipped the dress down to the small of her back. However, unlike the past times they had been in this situation where he had trailed his hand down her back and kissed her neck, he took a step back.
Trying not to feel disappointed, Emma went back to the bedroom and threw on his favorite t-shirt and a pair of his boxers. A moment later she heard the familiar whistle of the tea kettle and went to the kitchen, just going through the motions of making the tea. Instead she was trying to gather her nerves and come up with a plan. She had incorrectly assumed Killian would have cracked and kissed her when she asked him to unzip her dress. She'd never really had the problem of not being able to seduce him when she wanted to before…
Finished with their tea, she left the kitchen and went to the small living area he had. He was already seated at the far end on the couch, clearly expecting her to sit as far away from him as possible. "You can start it," she muttered as Killian un-paused the movie. She felt confident she could cut through the tension with a knife as she curled up right next to him, sighing in contentment as she rested her head against his shoulder.
With each passing minute Emma scooted even closer to Killian, not paying attention to anything else but the way his breath slightly sped up when she ran her fingers through his hair. She had no recollection of what movie was playing, nor did she care. It appeared to be some kind of stupid action movie that she never really liked anyway. Before she could convince herself this was a really bad decision, she kissed him on the cheek, slowly trailing her kissed down his neck.
"What the hell are you doing, Swan?" he asked, stopping her as suddenly as she had started, untangling himself from her as gently as he could.
"Come on," she sighed, wrapping herself around him so that she was practically straddling him. "It's been a long day with the wedding and I just miss you," she explained, cutting off his reply with a kiss. "I just want to be with you. We were always so good together…" she finished, her voice low and needy.
Killian let out a low groan and soundly kissed her, quickly finding their rhythm after a few fumbling seconds. "You're a bloody siren, woman," he managed to say between frantic kisses. "Testing my resolve when you show up at my door and wearing my clothes," he paused, taking the opportunity to turn off the stupid movie neither of them cared about.
"This doesn't mean we are back together," Emma finally admitted when he kissed her more tenderly than she wanted a few minutes later. At her words he immediately froze above her, his lips hovering so close to hers that she could feel his hot breath. "But that doesn't mean this is a onetime thing either."
Not moving away from her, Killian responded. "I don't understand…"
"Listen, I don't think I can handle being more than just friends right now," Emma explained, running a hand over his cheek. "But I need this with you so I don't lose my mind. What I'm trying to say is we can just keep doing this," Emma motioned with her hands between them. "We just don't have to tell anyone and there'll be no strings attached."
Suddenly moving away from her so that he was standing at the edge of the couch. "You are seriously asking me if I want to just be friends with benefits with my wife?" he asked, running a hand through his ruffled hair.
"Stop overthinking it and take me to bed, Killian," Emma clarified, surprised when, without another word against her, he bent down to pick her up and did just that.
…
Six Months Ago
It was official; Emma had the best boyfriend ever.
Gah, she hated it when she sounded like a lovesick teenager, but it was the truth. Tonight was their one year anniversary and she had gotten to work today to see a large bouquet of roses with a note telling her to meet him at the fanciest restaurant at 6 o'clock sharp.
Which is why, after letting Mary Margaret help pamper her before she left, she was walking up to the restaurant to meet him. Though maybe she shouldn't have worn these heels and maybe she should have told Killian to pick her up…
Not even sure how it happened, Emma saw Killian's leather jacket out of the corner of her eye. However, when she turned her head to him her stomach dropped.
He was in the alley next to the restaurant and Tink was hanging off of him.
"What?" Emma muttered, forgetting about everything else but the fact that her boyfriend was currently kissing some other girl on their anniversary.
Apparently they heard her because Killian immediately pushed Tink off of him and turned to face Emma, his eyes wide like he was surprised to see her and hadn't given her the note and told her to meet him here.
"Emma, it isn't what you think," Killian rushed out, taking a step towards her as Tink fixed her lipstick with a satisfied smirk on her face.
Now Emma didn't know Tink, but she had seen the free spirit around town a few times and had always been friendly to her. Tink had even commented that she was happy to see her and Killian together, a thought that made Emma's stomach feel even sicker.
"It isn't what I think," Emma hissed, her voice dangerously low. "You are telling me when I see you kissing another girl it isn't what I think."
"She just launched herself at me, love," Killian tried to explain, his voice frantic. "It happened right before you saw us and I was about to push her off me."
Emma bit her lip, wondering if that could possibly be true. She trusted Killian, she really did, and why would he lie to her? But the voice in her head berated her, telling her that her feelings were clouding her judgement. Everyone in her life had let her down before, why would Killian be any different?
"I'm really sorry," Tink said as Emma sent her a withering glare, no remorse on her face. "But you deserve to know that he's lying to you."
"Well then you tell me what happened from your side and we'll see who I believe," Emma said, the anger rising up in her voice again.
"Listen, he told me that you guys recently broke up. I wouldn't have been with him if I knew you were still together," Tink began, ignoring Killian's protests that she was lying until Emma silenced him with a harsh glare. "But we started hooking up a few days ago, just for fun you know."
At that Emma knew who she would believe. "So you've been having sex," Emma muttered, her voice oddly disconnected as she nodded in understanding.
"Goddamn it," Killian growled, grabbing Emma by the arm. "I swear she's just making it up, love. I love you and I would never cheat on you, tell me you know that."
Tink, meanwhile, appeared pissed off now. "You really are a villain," she hissed at Killian before she turned back to Emma. "He lied to both of us, Emma," she pulled out her phone and clicked a few buttons for offering it to Emma. "I have pictures as proof that he isn't telling the truth."
Emma only had to glance down at the phone a split second before she knew that Tink was being honest with her.
Without batting an eyelid, Emma soundly punched Killian in the face. While he took a few steps back in surprise, Emma told him. "In case that wasn't clear: we're over and don't try explaining yourself because I won't listen."
Then Emma turned around and started walking as quickly as she could with heels on, a sob already building up in the back of her throat. Just as she expected, Killian was right behind her, asking her to stop and listen to him.
Knowing he would follow her all the way home, she spun around to face him. "Just let me go," she whispered as she felt a tear trail down her cheek. "Please, Killian."
It appeared that was all it took because Killian cursed, repeating that he loved her and he would come by once she had calmed down. Then she was finally free to walk the rest of the way home, hoping no one would see that she was crying.
Emma had never been more grateful for Mary Margaret than the moment when she opened the door, on the verge of sobbing, and saw her roommate sitting on the couch reading.
"Emma, what happened?" Mary Margaret asked, standing immediately and walking towards her.
"Killian cheated on me," she whispered, her voice catching as she said his name.
Emma heard Mary Margaret gasp before she was in her arms, face pressed against her friend's shoulder as she finally let herself really cry.
"I trusted him," Emma gasped between sobs. "I finally allowed myself to love him and he broke my heart."
The next few hours were a blur for her. She mostly just sat on the couch and cried, ignoring Mary Margaret's attempts to feed her or ask her what happened. At some point Killian must have been at the door because her roommate cursed when she opened the door and immediately went out into the hallway, yelling at him in the hallway for several minutes before she came back to sit next to the heartbroken blonde.
Emma finally broke her head through the fog when she got a call from David saying Killian had been arrested and Emma immediately knew she had to go down to the station.
"What'd he do?" Emma asked, trying to avoid the sight of Killian in the jail cell out of the corner of her eye.
"Broke into Gold's shop," David answered, fixing Emma with a pitying look. Obviously Mary Margaret had told him what had happened earlier that night.
Emma just clenched her teeth, wondering how Killian could be so stupid. She had told him again and again that he should just try to stay away from Gold and his pawnshop and he had decided it was a good idea to break in? There was nothing there he'd want to steal either…Whatever the reason, she was confident that Gold would press heavy charges against his greatest foe.
Apparently David had sensed the change in Emma's expression because, wishing her good luck, he told her to call him when she was heading home so he knew she was okay.
Setting her shoulders and hoping her eyes weren't red, Emma marched further into the station to stand in front of the jail cell. It physically pained her to see Killian standing behind bars, but she couldn't let him see that so she just scowled at him. She could smell the strong alcohol drifting off of him in waves, it looked like he'd have a black eye by the morning, and his prosthetic was missing. Basically, he looked like shit.
"Are you just making me come down here to torture me even more?" she hissed, glaring at him as he tried to smile at her.
"Ems," he responded immediately, attempting to put his head through the bars so he could get closer to her. "You weren't answering my calls and Mary Margaret wouldn't let me in."
Emma's heart immediately dropped. "Why would I want to see you?" she asked, hardly believing they were having this conversation. "So you are telling me that you broke into Gold's shop and got arrested so you could talk to me? You are such a sick bastard!"
"I needed to find proof that Gold set it up," Killian argued, referring to the cryptic comment he had made before she had stormed away from him. "There must be something in his shop. A contract with Tink that made her set me up."
"No, Killian," Emma shouted, suppressing the urge to stomp her foot in annoyance. "You don't get to blame all of your life problems on that man. Not everything can be his fault. Why can't you just swallow your pride and admit to me that you had sex with Tink," she paused, wiping the angry tears from her cheeks. "I would hate you a lot less if you would stop lying to me."
Killian balked, tearing his hand through his hair. "I'm not lying about this!" Killian fought back. "Yes, you did see me kiss Tink, but that was just because she practically leaped on me when you walked in. And those pictures were fabricated, she was making everything up. I swear I was in my apartment all afternoon until I responded to the note I assumed was from you and went to the restaurant."
Emma turned her back on him for a minute, not wanting him to see the broken expression on her face. She couldn't give him that satisfaction. "You and Tink have known each other for years…she wouldn't make that up just to spite you."
"Which is why the Crocodile is behind this," Killian retorted, his voice filling the sheriff's station.
"Emma, please just look me in the eyes and tell me I'm lying to you. I didn't sleep with someone else."
Shaking her head, Emma gathered the courage to look into his blue eyes for a moment. "How do I know you haven't been lying to me this whole time?" she whispered, hating how weak and unlike herself she sounded. "Maybe you've been using me this whole time. Seeing how long you could drag me on for."
"I wouldn't, I told you the truth about everything," Killian replied, his voice unwavering. "I love you."
"No!" Emma screeched, not caring about how she was acting anymore. How dare he say that to her right now? He already had stuck his knife into her heart and now he was just twisting it to wound her even more. He knew how hard it was for her to exchange those words with him and now he was tainting them for her again. "You don't have the right to say that to me anymore," she hissed, taking a step towards the cell and getting into his face. "You don't get to pretend like you felt anything for me."
"You know how much I love you," Killian whispered. Emma just stood there unaffected, slapping his hand away when she felt his fingertips brushing hers. "You're everything to me."
Emma turned around then, taking a few steps away from him as a sob escaped her lips. Just yesterday she would have kissed the living daylights out of him for saying something so sweet and reminded him that she loved him too. But now it just felt like a cruel twist of fate.
Once Emma had gotten some control over her emotions again, Emma spun around to face Killian, determined to leave within a few minutes. "I'm going to leave," she uttered, avoiding his gaze. "And you are going to behave yourself in this cell and not call me again."
"Not yet," Killian interrupted, his voice sounding so desperate she froze. "I want to give you this," he muttered, digging in his pocket with a panicked expression on his face until he pulled out his hand and shoved his hand out between the bars to her.
Knowing this wasn't a good idea, Emma hesitantly reached out as Killian dropped the contents of his hand into hers. Upon seeing what it was, it took all of her self-control not to drop it. "Is this a joke?" she asked, rage simmering beneath her voice.
Killian appeared like he was offended by the suggestion, gaping like a fish for a moment before he responded. "Of course not, Emma," he murmured. "I just want you to realize how serious I am about us. I would marry you right now if you'd let me."
"Can you tell me how this adds up in your mind?" Emma said in reply. "You cheat on me, get arrested, and then decide it is a good time to give me an engagement ring?"
"It's actually a wedding ring, but right now you can consider it to be an engagement ring," Killian replied, looking sheepish when Emma fixed him with a cold glare. However, Emma didn't say anything, so he kept talking. "It was my mother's. I thought that my dad had taken it with him when he left, but I found it in Liam's possessions after he died. Ever since then I've carried it with me as a reminder that I still have a part of her with me."
Emma closed her eyes, the ring feeling heavy in her hand. It wasn't right for him to try to win her sympathy with a sad story. She had her fair share of terrible memories too, it really shouldn't affect her so much when she was reminded that Killian had grown up mostly alone as well. From now on she would have to try her hardest to shut off any stupid emotions she felt towards him.
"I never thought I'd be able to part with this ring, but I can't imagine not giving it to you now," Killian said.
"Please stop," Emma whispered, closing her fist around the ring. She couldn't listen to his sweet words anymore. "Please don't keep trying to contact me, Killian. I don't want to see you again."
"But I love you," Killian responded, pressing his face against the bars. "And I know you love me too."
Reaching her wits end, Emma chucked the ring at him, not caring for the moment that it was his mother's. She heard the tinkling as it bounced on the floor in the dead silence of the station. Meeting Killian's wide eyes, she said what she never imagined she would say to him. "I hate you, Killian Jones."
