Thank you all for reading the last chapter, and to those of you who left a review! You're all amazing!
Saving Grace
Chapter Nine: Coming Home
Bobby's house — The Next Morning — 09:15 am.
Haley Winchester opened her eyes for the first time in what felt like forever.
The bright sunlight that came from somewhere over in the distance blinded her, blurring her vision to the point that all she could see was a burning light ahead, as though someone was shining a torch into her eyes. The first thought that crossed her mind was that she had to be seriously hungover, because she couldn't remember the last time she had felt so out of it. She couldn't remember anything that had happened to her, nothing came to mind. At all.
Taking the chance, she pushed herself to sit up and let out an involuntary gasp of pain as a sharp jolt shot through her head. She groaned, in enough pain that tears formed in her eyes, and pressed a hand to her forehead instinctively, squeezing her eyes closed for a moment until the severity of it passed. As it fell back to a dull ache she managed to open her eyes again. Everything around her was fuzzy, almost as though she was looking at the world through someone else's glasses. The pale walls around her blurred into one and seemed to be so much further away than they were in reality. She couldn't even remember going to bed...or, for that matter, whose bed she was in. Apprehensive, she pushed back the covers and looked around slowly, frowning as she tried to play through the events that had led her there, but still, nothing at all came to mind.
Not sure of what else she could do, without a plan in her head, she pushed herself to stand, finding her balance shaky. Taking a breath, more to steady herself than anything else, she crossed the room to the door and pulled it open, revealing a dark and empty hallway. The house was noticeably old, with the wallpaper faded and beginning to peel from the walls, but there was something about it that made it feel homey, she couldn't quite put her finger on it, but she felt a sense of safety there. Heading down the stairs she tried to be as quiet as she could, wincing each time one of the floorboards creaked beneath her feet. She came to a stop in the living room and looked around, perplexed, she didn't know what to do. Where was she supposed to start? Where was she supposed to pull answers from? Why was there no one there?
And then she heard the sound of a door being opened and closed in the next room, followed by the sound of heavy footsteps approaching. She tensed, anxious, afraid, and turned around slowly just as the door to the room opened. A man stepped inside, tall, she knew he could easily overpower her should he want to. He looked up as he entered, his eyes wide at the sight of her, as though it had been the last thing he had expected to see there. In truth, it had been.
Sam looked at her, immediately he knew that something was wrong. She didn't look like Roxy anymore, hell, she didn't even look like Haley. She looked terrified, frozen in fear. That wasn't right. He knew every expression his sister had, and that certainly wasn't one of them.
She spoke first, before he had the chance to even form words. "Who are you?" And that's when his entire face fell, he looked like he wanted to cry. But she barely had the time to notice what was going on with him.
As he opened his mouth to answer, something changed in her expression. It went from confusion to agony in less than a second. She let out a sharp gasp of pain, extreme enough that even he felt it, and grabbed her forehead with both hands. He lunged forwards to grab a firm hold of her before her legs gave out and she collapsed in front of him, she could barely stand on her own two feet, blinded by the impact of the pain.
"Dean!" Sam yelled over his shoulder, hoping to god that his brother could hear him from the back of the house, because he didn't know what else he could do at that point. He was panicked, beyond what he had ever felt before.
Her hands were gripped to the front of his shirt, so hard that her knuckles turned white, her head bowed down and her eyes still squeezed closed. She couldn't think, couldn't breathe, couldn't feel—she was latching onto the nearest thing to her, him. Gradually, as the pain began to subside, she managed to loosen her hold on him. She looked up, opening her eyes to find his, and that was when he saw it all in her eyes—terror, fear, confusion—unadulterated horror.
She knew.
Looking around her she knew everything, she knew where she was, who she was. She took a step back and wrapped her hands in her hair, trying to rid the pain in her head as she fought for the memories she knew were in there somewhere. And then it all hit her like a punch to the face—as though it was all suddenly being slammed back into her head—the force of it knocking her back a couple of steps in shock, she was standing in front of Sam, her brother. It hit her all at once, with prolific force, nauseating shock.
He watched her intently, breathing heavy, tears shining in his eyes, terrified. "Haley?" he pressed, almost scared of what she was going to say. When she still said nothing, he tried again, a little firmer. "Haley?"
Slowly, her eyes moved back to find his. "Sammy?" she breathed out, a hand pressed to her forehead in pain, trying to make sense of it all. A smile broke out on his face, a laugh mixed up with a sob. She didn't know what to do, everything was happening at once, it was all too much, overwhelming to her. "Sam." she cried, like she didn't know what else to do, as her breathing became heavier. He stepped forwards and placed a firm hand to her shoulder, looking down at her in fear. "Oh, God," her hand gripped his sleeve as the colour drained right out of her face. "I'm gonna be sick." Her hand tightened, to the point it hurt his arm, but he barely felt it. "Sam."
"No you're not." That was enough, he grabbed her before she could fall into some kind of panic attack, throwing his arms around her and pulling her towards him tightly. "I've got you, I'm right here, Haley." he whispered, closing his eyes. "I'm right here."
Slowly, she managed to pull herself together enough to raise her shaking arms and wrap them around him. She felt him sigh in slight relief at the feeling, his shoulders falling less tense. As her hands gripped to the back of his shirt she closed her eyes and made a lame attempt to push back the tears that fell from her eyes, soaking into the front of his shirt. But he didn't seem to care. Everything was different about it this time, she knew who he was—the kid she had spent fourteen years of her life with—she knew that he was her brother.
Sam didn't know how long they stood there, arms wrapped around each other, it was like time had stopped. Suddenly, it didn't matter anymore that it had been twelve years since they had really seen each other, it felt as though they had never been apart. She suddenly felt so small in his arms, so little compared to him. When they had been younger there hadn't been all that much of a height difference between them. But this time, it felt as though he was holding her, not her holding him. The guy who had once been her kid brother was now so grown up, and she felt like she had missed out on so much.
He pulled back enough to look at her and smiled. His mouth opened and closed a couple of times, as though he was going to say something but his head just wouldn't allow him to bring the words together. There were tear tracks streaked down his cheeks from where he just hadn't been able to hold back the emotion. She looked up at him, managing to push up a small, shaky smile of her own through her tears.
"Look at you," she said simply, her voice light but thick with emotion. "You got tall, kid."
"Yeah," Sam breathed out a laugh. "You didn't."
She nodded and moved back to him, hugging him tighter. Sam smiled to himself and rested his chin to the top of her head. Somehow, everything felt like it was going to be alright, for once in their lives something had gone right for them without it costing them anything. They had their sister back, after all those years.
"Hey, Sammy?" Dean's deep voice called from somewhere just outside of the house, and they both stilled at the sound. They pulled apart and looked back towards the source of the voice, neither speaking a word. Sam realised, Dean had sent him inside for mug of coffee, he was probably wondering where he had gotten to. The back door of the house banged closed behind him as he entered and made his way through towards the living room. "Have you—" But everything came to an abrupt halt when his eyes fell to her. He looked like he had been slapped in the face. "Haley?" he breathed out, his eyes wide in shock.
The smallest smile tugged at her lips, something she struggled to hold as she fought back the urge to start crying again. It felt as though she was seeing him for the first time in forever. In a way, she was. Everything that had happened between them in the past few days was no longer relevant, because it hadn't really been them. At least, not who they really were. They hadn't been Dean and Haley there, somehow this was different. This was right.
"Hey, Dean." she whispered, and her voice cracked with emotion at the words.
Dean didn't respond at all for a moment, he didn't look as though he had registered her words at all. He opened and closed his mouth, but nothing left him. He managed to conjure up a small yet broken smile of his own, a mixture of both happiness and pain. "Hey." he replied, barely audible in the quiet room.
Slowly, she took a step back from Sam and turned to him, her movements uncertain. Dean watched her carefully, intently, never blinking, as though he was just waiting for her to dissipate into thin air right before his eyes, the way she had done that night twelve years ago. He couldn't believe that she was actually standing there in front of him. It didn't feel real.
They both moved closer to each other, tentative at first, enough to narrow the gap between them, before they threw their arms around each other, everything else forgotten. Her arms wrapped around his neck, his holding her around her middle. The sobs once again broke out of Haley, she was unable to hold them back. She wasn't even sure why she was crying anymore, whether it was happiness or sadness. She was happy, of course she was, however overwhelming it was, she was right back where she belonged. Her brothers were with her again, and everything seemed okay. For the first time in a long time she didn't feel as though she was alone in the world.
But there was something else weighing on her mind, fear. Brought on by the looks she had seen so clearly in her brother's eyes. What she hadn't really noticed until she had seen them and really known who they were. It was something not many other people would be able to pick up on, but she knew them. They looked weary, tired to the point that no amount of sleep could really help them. There was more damage done to them than looked fixable, the difference in them since the last time they had all been together was astonishing. And it scared her. There was so much more pain weighed down on their shoulders, so much more life visibly drained out of them, so much more hurt behind their eyes—it was the first thing she had picked up on.
Dean just didn't care anymore, he let it go—he didn't care that there were tears in his eyes, threatening to fall, and he couldn't bring himself to care that he was well passed the line of being involved in a 'chick-flick moment'—every ounce of strength he had kept together over the past few days crumbled then and there. He was done. His eyes squeezed closed in some attempt to hold back the tears pooling in his eyes and his head dropped heavily forwards to rest on her shoulder, the same way that hers rested against his. Their arms subconsciously held onto the other stronger, clinging onto them as though they were the only source of oxygen they had.
Her arms secured around him tighter, firmer, when his shoulders gave the smallest shake. She knew he would never willingly let on that he was upset, about anything, and so she did nothing. Sometimes, when she could see how hard he was trying to hold it all back, she would do the gracious thing and pretend not to notice, because she knew that was what he wanted. But there, there was no denying his sorrow when the softest whimper left him, or when he drew a shaky breath and squeezed her harder as he tried to hold it together. She still said nothing as his hands fisted tightly in the material of her t-shirt, unwilling to let go.
It felt surreal to him, she was back, and that was all that mattered at that point. Nothing else even came into focus. After all those years he had spend wishing to god, or whoever would listen to him, that he could have one more chance with her—that he could see her one last time, that he could tell her how sorry he was for everything that had happened to her that night—there she was, right there in his arms. He felt something like hope again, like as long as she was there with him again, as long as the three of them were back together, there was no challenge and no apocalypse that they couldn't beat between them.
Without realising he was doing it, he tried to pull her closer when her sobs grew slightly harsher, still thinking somewhere in the back of his mind that she would vanish if he were to let her go. He was unsure of the last time he had felt the way he did there. The last time had probably been the first time he had seen his brother when he had gotten out of hell. He was filled with a new found sense of reassurance, bravery, motivation, things that he hadn't felt for a long time.
As he regained his ability to think straight again his mind wandered back to that night. "I'm sorry." he whispered, his voice was muffled by her shoulder, but she heard him just fine. She heard him and she felt her heart break in her chest—whatever had happened that night, whatever the reason was for her missing out on years of their lives, whatever the reason was behind her living another life for all that time—she could tell, Dean blamed himself.
Sam looked on at them, tears once again shining in his eyes, because he had never seen anything like that before.
Of course, he had always wanted Haley back, there hadn't been a day that passed where he hadn't thought about her, or how much he and Dean really did need her, how better everything would have been if she had never been taken away. But right there, he realised, a part of him had wanted her back just for Dean. Somewhere in the back of his mind he knew how much his brother needed her, because there had been a darkness and emptiness within him since the night she had left—no doubt born of the horrific sight when he had witnessed her being stabbed before his eyes. And being there, looking at the two of them like that, it made it better. Because he could see for himself, everything was okay. The two people who had practically raised him, who mattered most to him the world, they were alive and well, they were with him, and they were safe.
Dean had back the one thing he had needed for the past twelve years, Haley was right there, alive and breathing, and that was enough for Sam to be able to smile again, properly, for the first time in a long time.
When Haley said nothing to him, simply held onto him tighter, Dean pulled away. His hands moved to grip her shoulders, refusing to let go, and his eyes found hers. "Haley, I'm so sorry." he said, so genuine and so sincere she felt like bursting into tears all over again. He just needed her to know. He needed her to understand. He looked over her slowly, for the first time, like he was reading her, just to make sure that nothing was wrong, that he hadn't missed anything. His thumbs brushed the tears from her cheeks gently, and that was when Sam stepped forwards, almost beside his brother as he looked down at her.
"Haley," His voice was soft, quiet, so not to break the calmness that seemed to have fallen through the house for the first time in days. "Are you alright?"
He was still concerned, of course he was, she had all but collapsed in pain right in front of him less than ten minutes ago. She allowed herself to take a step back, out of Dean's hard grasp, and paused for a moment as she seemed to think through her response. For the first time in a long, long time, Haley knew who she was. She remembered everything about her life. She remembered her brothers, her dad, her life. She knew what was out there in the dark, and what it had done to her family, and what her family could do about it.
Her head hurt, she felt a little sick, but that was it. Everything else felt fine. She felt like her again. Like the missing piece inside her had been filled and the thousands of questions that never seemed to stop had finally come to a halt.
After a moment, she nodded. "I think I'm good." she said, a small smile coming to her lips. "What the hell happened to me?"
Sam and Dean exchanged a look, there wasn't an easy way to come out with it, but she knew what was out there, she knew what kind of things could happen. They had to tell her. They didn't have a choice.
"We, uh, we're not completely sure on that yet," Sam began, apprehensive, choosing his words carefully. "We have this...friend. He's, um...well...he's an angel." Haley's eyebrows rose at that, but she said nothing, simply waited for him to continue. "He told us that we had to come find you. You were living that other life and you had no idea who we were, but we don't know why. We don't know what happened to you after that night, other than what you've told us." He paused and looked up to her. "We thought you were dead."
Haley regarded him for a moment. "Hm." she pondered. "Angels." It appeared to be the only word she had taken from the whole explanation, she was obviously far away in her own thoughts.
Dean nodded, a little confused. He remembered how skeptical he had been when he had first been introduced to the concept. He knew back when she had been younger she had shared the same level of faith as him in that kind of thing. "You don't seem too shocked by the idea," he commented. "Please, tell me in the twelve years you've been gone you didn't turn to the church." Haley just looked at him, like she wasn't sure what to say. "That's all we need, Sam, a stripper with a soul."
"Don't be stupid, Dean." she muttered. "Of course I didn't turn to the church." She stopped, thinking about what she was saying, and then looked up to them again. "I met one." Both Sam and Dean's heads snapped up to look at her at that. "I mean, I think I met one."
"You what?" Dean glanced from her to Sam, his face the same mix of anxiousness and curiosity as his own. "When?"
"That night when it, whatever it was, happened. It never made sense to me before, I never remembered. Not until today." She frowned as she thought back. "I think...I think he was legit, you know? I think he saved me."
"He?" Sam raised his eyebrows, hopeful. "Do you have a name?"
She shook her head slowly, and Dean stepped forwards. "Haley, I need you to think, what happened?"
Twelve years earlier — January, 1997 — Marshall, Wisconsin.
In the second that she had felt the blade plunge into her stomach, in the split second that she had blinked, in the moment she had finally broken eye contact with Dean, Haley opened her eyes to a different place. The knife stayed where it was, the arm around her middle never loosened its grip of her, but everything around her was just different. The rain was somehow heavier there, if that had even been possible, bouncing up from the ground in thick drops.
When the arm around her was finally pulled away, the only source of support that she'd had, and the knife was ripped out from her body, she fell forwards to the wet ground beneath her. A small and involuntary pained sob escaped her as she hit the floor beside the man's scuffed boots, landing on her side and propped up by one elbow while her other hand pressed the remaining strength she had to the wound in her stomach. She could feel the blood easily seeping through her t-shirt and jacket, through to her fingers and soaking her hand in the deep red liquid, to almost immediately be rinsed away. She could already feel her life fading away from her, being washed away by the rain.
The sound of footsteps walking towards them grabbed her attention. She wasn't sure that she even wanted to know who they belonged to, because she had a feeling that it wasn't going to be good. "Leave her be, Azazel." A deep voice warned. "The girl is on my orders, not yours. Heaven will deal with her."
For a second she thought she was delirious, that she was hearing things, but the other man took a step forwards, tilting his head to the side, curious. "Heaven, huh?" He narrowed his eyes slightly, intrigued. "And, tell me, why would angels be interested in a Winchester?" The man didn't reply to him, simply stared ahead at him and frowned. But then a small smirk spread over the other man's face as he seemed to answer his own question. "Unless...you have plans for the brothers?"
The man still didn't react. "It's none of your concern." he said, bluntly. "You've done enough damage to this family already. Leave."
He scoffed, incredulous. "I've done enough damage when I say I've done enough damage." he retorted.
But the man didn't appear to be phased by him. He simply took a step forwards and hardened the look on his face. She noticed a silver blade drop from the sleeve of his jacket, gripped in his hand tightly. "Leave, now." he warned, this time a little more forceful. "Or I'll be forced to deal with you, too."
There was a heavy silence for a moment as they stood and stared at each other, as though they were continuing their disagreement without the use of words. The shorter man's face formed a dark frown before he took a step back and sighed, defeated. With a blink of an eye he was gone again, leaving her alone with the man who seemed to tower above where she lay.
He looked to be around forty, dirty blonde hair soaked wet and stuck down flat to his head. His deep brown eyes looked down at her through the darkness, as if he were seeing through her. His simple jeans and t-shirt were almost stuck to his skin through the rain, his thin jacket doing nothing to protect him, but none of it seemed to bother him, he didn't appear to feel it. The silver blade was still gripped firmly in his left hand, the other formed a tight fist.
For a second she was sure that he was going to hurt her, that he had only stopped the other man to get in on it himself, but there was a look in his eyes that made her think he wasn't a man who wanted to hurt anyone. A small, gentle smile washed over his face, a warmness in it that made her feel a little safer. He blurred in her vision for a moment as the amount of blood she was loosing started to take it's effect, only coming back into focus when she took a breath and blinked hard.
"Who are you?" she managed to ask, her voice small and weak.
The man just looked at her for a few seconds, like he wasn't sure of his answer, or he didn't want to tell her. There was a conflicted frown on his face, like he was internally fighting with himself over something, and she wasn't too sure that she wanted to know what that voice in his head was telling him to do. A part of her thought maybe he was torn between helping her and leaving her, or even leaving her and killing her. But he did neither. Instead, he crouched down beside her and watched her closely for a few more seconds, as though he didn't know what to do, his eyes constantly reading her.
"You don't need to be afraid, Haley." he told her simply, his voice much quieter and less demanding than it had been. "I'm an angel of the lord."
Haley made an attempt to laugh, something that came out as more of a choked pained sound. She wanted to ask how he knew her name, how he knew who she was, or where she was. She wanted to ask what he had meant when he had told the other man he'd done enough damage to their family, whether he meant what the thing had done to their mother or whether it had done something more and gotten away with it. Maybe it had done something to her dad and Dean before they had disappeared, or maybe it had done something to Sam. But she didn't have the energy left in her to find out. She was getting weaker and weaker, like she was fighting to stay awake but it was a battle that she was losing. She felt like she hadn't slept in a month, and closing her eyes and giving into it was the best thing she could do. It was becoming harder and harder to keep her eyes open.
She opened her mouth to answer him, but found herself unable to form words. There was too much pain. She could taste the blood in her mouth, feel herself slowly slipping away.
With her last ounce of strength she opened her eyes to the man above her. "Don't let that guy near my brothers," she whispered, unsure where the words had even come from. "Please...if you're really an angel...watch them. Keep them safe."
The man nodded slowly in acknowledgement. "Rest, Haley." he said simply as he reached out and gently rested a hand over her stomach, making the pain fade away as she slowly slipped from consciousness.
"...and that's it." She shrugged. "Told me he was an angel and then I blacked out. Then I woke up in that hospital without a memory."
Dean looked murderous, in a way she didn't ever remember seeing him look before. She had seen him get mad in the past, she had seen an amount of rage in his eyes that had scared her, but that seemed to be to a whole new level. There was a darkness that she could never have associated with him before. It was well past anger now, it was pure and unadulterated venom. She hadn't known him capable of the amount of fury she saw there.
"Friggin' angels, man. Seriously." He pulled a rough hand down his face and shook his head to himself, frustrated.
"Dean," Sam's voice held the calmness that it always had, and Dean turned to him with raised eyebrows, expectant, as though waiting for him to speak, warning him that it better be good. "I think it might be time to call Cas back." he said, unsure whether Dean was going to go for it or not, especially after what had happened the last time he had been there.
But Dean appeared out of options, he didn't know what else they could do at that point. He looked clueless as to what his next move was going to be, and nodded slowly. "Cas," He closed his eyes and released a deep sigh, clearly anything but happy with it. "You need to get your ass down here, man." He opened an eye and looked around the room slowly.
Sam noticed Haley frowning at him, and he realised it was a whole new concept to her. "That's your attempt at praying to an angel?" she asked, dubious. "You need to get your ass down here?"
Dean rolled his eyes at her and shook his head, impatient. "Come on, Cas." he barked. "It's important. Please."
For a moment he was convinced he wasn't going to show, but then he noticed how Haley's face changed dramatically. She jumped slightly, her eyes wide in shock as she stared off somewhere behind him. Dean turned slowly to see the familiar angel standing behind him, a deep frown on his face.
"Dean." he deadpanned.
"Cas, listen," Dean took a step towards him, not bothering to give him anymore time to speak. "Haley thinks that she met an angel." he began, completely oblivious to the tension that had since surrounded them. "I mean—" He stopped when he realised that Castiel didn't appear to be taking in a word he said. "What?" He followed his eyes to where he was staring at Haley behind him, and turned to see that she was staring back, her brow furrowed in confusion.
"Hello again, Haley." he greeted simply, his voice completely calm and put together, as though there was nothing out of the ordinary about the situation.
She thought for a moment, did he mean hello again since the time he had been there when he had touched her head and she had blacked out, when it had all been one panicked rush and they had been in the same room for about thirty seconds? Or did he mean something more? He said it as though he knew her, like they shared a memory she didn't recall happening. She frowned, seemingly even more confused. "Have we met?"
Dean looked back to Castiel as something seemed to click in his mind, the same thing that had apparently clicked in Sam's at the same time. "Wait...you?" he asked in disbelief. "Cas, did you have something to do with this?" The look on Castiel's face confirmed everything. "You're the one she met that night."
Haley scoffed, and all three men looked to her. She was the only one who didn't seem aware of the seriousness. "What'd you do, get a face job?"
Castiel narrowed his eyes a little. "At the time, I acquired a different vessel."
She opened her mouth, and he just knew that she was going to ask him the same question Dean had done the first time they had met, 'You're possessing some poor bastard?', but she didn't have the chance before Dean once again jumped in.
"I'm only going to ask you this one more time," he seethed, growing angrier with every question the angel didn't answer. "Did you have something to do with her losing her memory?"
Castiel shifted uncomfortably, the way he had done the previous time Dean had questioned him on the subject of their sister, and looked away, as though he was unable to hold the lethal stare from him. "Dean—"
"No." Dean cut him off before he had the chance to offer up an excuse. "If her story checks out, if that was you that night, that means you were the last person to see her before all this went down." He took a step closer to him, as if he was squaring up for a fight, something he had done to countless guys when they had been teenagers. "What did you do to my sister?" The angel opened and closed his mouth, because he didn't know what to say. Dean wasn't having any of it. He grabbed a firm hold of the front of his shirt and got in his face, like the thought of him doing something to harm Haley made him completely forget who it was that he was threatening. He knew, had he wanted to, Castiel could've pushed him away without moving a muscle, but he didn't. "Tell me the truth, now." he demanded, pushing the words out through gritted teeth.
Castiel sighed, defeated. "My orders were to kill her, Dean." he finally answered, raising his voice a little as though to make sure he got through to him. "You know angels can't go against their orders. I didn't have a choice."
"Your orders were to kill her?" he repeated, incredulous, and Dean's anger almost skyrocketed through the roof at that. "You sure as hell did the next best thing, didn't you?!" He pushed himself back off him, even madder than before. "All this time you've known that she's been out there, you've known where she's been, hell, you must have known that eventually something like this was going to happen, and you still did nothing!" His voice lowered dramatically as he took a step closer to the angel. "All the time you've known us, Cas, after everything, did you not think for a second that I'd have liked to know that my kid sister was alive?"
He looked down, almost in shame. "Dean—" He made an attempt to get through to him, but Dean was too far gone to listen.
"And when the hell were you planning to tell me any of this? Huh?" he snapped, he sounded hurt, almost betrayed by the angel. "I mean, were you ever gonna tell us? Because you seemed just fine standing there and lying to my face about it when I asked you what had happened to her." Castiel looked down, unable to answer. "Or were you just waiting on us to work it all out for ourselves?"
Castiel looked up, blue eyes finding his green. He saw the betrayal, the anger, the hurt—and he wished he could make him understand the position he had been in, that all he had really tried to do at the time was protect his sister. If Dean had known everything, if he truly understood the way Castiel had dealt with it, he knew he wouldn't be shouting in his face. But how much could he really tell him? How much did he really want to tell him?
"Dean," he sighed, remorseful. "I couldn't tell you."
"Oh," Dean scoffed. "And why the hell not? Huh?" he challenged, never letting up his defensive tone.
Castiel shook his head. "She was supposed to be dead, Dean." he replied, solemn. "If the angels had found out that she was alive it would have been danger for all of you. They would not have hesitated in finding her and killing her."
Dean's jaw visibly tightened at that comment, but he brushed past it and let it go. One problem at a time. Whatever the angels wanted her for, whatever their intentions to harm her were, he could deal with that later. Now, he was more wound up over the fact the man he had considered family for so long had kept something so big from him. He had known the entire time and never, ever let on. He didn't understand.
"You should've told me, Cas." he said bluntly. He was done shouting, he was done pushing him and showing his anger. Castiel knew he was pissed, he could see the rage in his eyes, and it was somehow worse when he spoke lower. "You shouldn't have left her there. God, anything could have happened to her. The list of things that want revenge on this family is endless, it only takes one to work out where she is and it would've been the end of her."
Sam shook his head, this was all getting out of hand fast. He looked over to Haley, who was staring at them, perplexed. Fifteen minutes ago she hadn't known who she was, and now she was watching her brother screaming in the face of an angel. It was insane, she didn't know what to do. Feeling his eyes on her, she looked to Sam and gave a small nod in their direction, as if to tell him to do something.
He sighed and took a step forwards, as if to remind them that they weren't alone in the room. "You need to calm down." he said, more to his brother than anyone else.
Dean turned on him, the anger once again flaring in his eyes. "Calm down?" he repeated, incredulous. "You're telling me to calm down, Sam? Seriously?"
"Dean, your sister's been conscious for about fifteen minutes, why don't you try to chill out a little, hm?" he said, his voice low and hard. "I think we might need to sit down and have a talk, don't you? There might be a few things we have to tell her before we carry on." He shot him a look, warning him it wasn't the time or the place to be having it out with Castiel.
Dean heaved a deep sigh, silently giving in, acknowledging his brother was right without words. "Yeah." he muttered, almost reluctant, because suddenly fighting with an angel who could end his life without blinking seemed much more appealing than the conversation he knew they had coming. "Yeah, I know."
They both turned to face her, seeing the anxiousness suddenly form in her eyes, clearly brought on by their own sense of discomfort. It was as though she could see how much they didn't want to have their next conversation, like she already knew that it wasn't going to be easy, that there was a good chance they were about to tell her something horrible. And she wasn't sure that she wanted to think about what that could be.
Sam shook his head, if only she knew. "Come on," he coaxed, his voice much softer than anyone else's had been for a while. "You might wanna sit down for this."
Haley was apprehensive to move at first, of course she was. But what else was she supposed to do? She had been gone for twelve years, she needed to know what had happened in that time, she didn't really have much of a choice. Tentative, she nodded, and slowly followed her younger brother towards the kitchen where she took a seat at the table. Sam did the same while Dean pulled a bottle of whiskey from one of Bobby's cupboards along with three glasses before joining them.
He poured out a glass for her first and pushed it across the table to where she sat across from them, the same way they had been positioned the previous day, when 'Roxy' had told them about her life.
The two of them shared a wary look, neither of them knowing where they could start, before they looked back to Haley. There was so much to tell her, and so much she needed to tell them, there wasn't really a good place to start. But then Dean knew, there was one burning question that still haunted him, one he had wanted the answer to for twelve years, suddenly nothing else mattered to him.
"What happened to you, Haley?" Dean asked her, he sounded to be at a loss himself, hoping to god that she knew something more than them. They were all confused. "Who was that guy?"
Haley drank back the glass of whiskey, effortless, and slowly brought her eyes up to find his. She almost felt guilty at knowing she couldn't satisfy his curiously, his desperation for answers. "I don't know," she answered, giving a small yet remorseful shrug of her shoulders. "I'd never seen him before that night."
Sam frowned. There had to be something. "Didn't you notice anything about him?" he pushed, curious. "Anything at all, you know, even if it didn't seem important?"
"He, uh, he said something..." She trailed off and frowned as she thought back, knowing that it wasn't going to go down well with either of them, but they needed to know. "He said he was the one who killed Mom." Sam and Dean looked between each other, eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "And he had these yellow eyes...I don't know."
"The demon." Sam said quietly. The colour drained completely from his face. "It was the demon that killed Mom. How could not have seen that?" he asked, more to himself than his brother.
Dean had fallen completely silent at her words, he looked murderous. His fists were balled in front of him on the table, his emotions conflicted. In a way, knowing that he had already taken out the thing that had done that to her, knowing that it had died at his hands after everything it had done to their family, he felt a sense of accomplishment, as though there was a justice in everything. But then there was something else. He had never really hurt the thing. He had vowed, since the night it had happened, that he would make the thing suffer. He hadn't had that chance. But it was dead, there was nothing he could do about that.
After a minute, his initial anger seemed to subside and he managed to bring his gaze back to Sam. "Demons I get," he looked between them, confused. "It doesn't explain why the angels were involved."
Haley looked around slowly, Castiel had since vanished, disappeared before they had taken the chance to ask him anything more. Dean still didn't understand, he didn't get what the angel was hiding from them, or why he was hiding it. He didn't understand why he had been sent to kill their sister, or why he had chosen to remove her memories instead of doing it. He didn't understand why he had never told them, or why he still didn't want to explain it.
"Angels." Haley scoffed, shaking her head as she poured herself another glass of whiskey. "You know, when I left, hunting was all just ghosts and wendigos."
"Yeah," Dean forced a chuckle. "Things got a little more complicated since then."
"Hm." She shot him a sarcastic smile. "I can see that." she quipped.
Never in a million years could she have even considered that angels were real. Had anyone asked her that at sixteen, she was almost certain she, and probably Dean, too, would have laughed in their face. It seemed like a whole other concept, so different from everything else out there in the world. She wasn't sure how to take it.
"Was there anything...different?" Sam suddenly asked, never letting up on his search for answers. He now seemed just as driven as Dean had been, yet his voice was softer, calmer. "You know, when you woke up."
Haley quirked an eyebrow. "You mean other than my memory being totally wiped?" she countered.
Sam nodded. "I mean like cuts, marks, anything at all that you can think of." he tried, thinking back to the hand print left on his brother's shoulder when angels had pulled him from hell. Anything at that point would help them, because they had absolutely no leads. The best shot they had at answers, Castiel, didn't appear willing to help. They had to look wherever they could. "Even if it doesn't seem important."
"Well, there's this..." She slowly got to her feet and cleared her throat, as though she were apprehensive. "Don't freak out." she added, more to Dean than Sam.
Both brothers frowned as she pulled up her t-shirt, tucking it beneath her bra to hold it there. At the front of her left ribs was four lines of black writing, definitely not English. For a second, Dean was about to ask if it were a tattoo, because at first glance that was what it looked like, but then his expression of shock contorted to one of confusion. At a closer look, it appeared more as though it had been burned into her skin, rather than tattooed there. Sam and Dean cast a glance between each other, as if silently asking the same question. Both had their own suspicion of the language, they just hoped that they were wrong.
"I don't care what you say, Hales, that was not there the night you left." Dean said, his voice hard. Something had put that there. It wasn't a tattoo, it was scorched into her flesh, and somehow it only made him madder.
"No, I know," She shrugged and dropped back down into her chair, straightening her shirt. "I don't know where it came from. It was there when I woke up in that hospital, I'd never seen it before."
Sam nodded to himself, deep in thought. "We'll have to check that out." he muttered.
Dean gave a small nod of agreement, it wasn't really something that he wanted to think about. He didn't need anything else to worry about. He didn't need his sister in any more danger, he didn't think he could take anything more happening to her. Not now.
"So," he cleared his throat and looked her over slowly. "You, uh, you got any more ink?"
Haley smirked at him, buying into his obvious attempt at changing the subject. "Not anywhere you wanna see." she remarked. The smirk dropped from his face almost immediately, while Sam snickered to himself. But Haley just rolled her eyes, amused. "Dude, I'm kidding. That's the only one."
There was something they weren't saying to her, she could tell. They wanted to, but it was like they just couldn't bring themselves to begin. She knew that they had sat her down there with the intention of telling her everything that had happened while they had been separated, but by the looks on their faces she could see that it clearly wasn't going to be an easy conversation to have. Yet, a part of her was fully aware that it needed to happen regardless. One of them was going to have to break the ice and start it, and had a strong idea that it wasn't going to be either of them anytime soon.
"So," She spoke lightly, her tone upbeat, despite the underlying trepidation. "You two gonna fill me in on what you've been doing all this time, or what? I mean, I know you guys are a little reckless sometimes but how the hell did you manage to start an apocalypse?"
Dean huffed a small laugh at her words. "Well, long story short," He paused to think through his words, and looked up to face her. "Sammy here got himself killed, stabbed in the back, actually. I sold my soul for him and bought myself a year. After that I went to hell, and I broke the first seal to the apocalypse down there." He completely ignored the look on her face as he spoke. "Now, while I was down in the pit, Sam got himself a little too close to this demon skank named Ruby, and she got him addicted to demon blood, where near the end he was practically chugging the stuff. And that resulted in him breaking the last seal and setting Lucifer free from hell. Now I'm the vessel for Michael and he's the vessel for Lucifer, and we have a bunch of archangels who think that we're about to let them possess us and roast half the planet wearing our meat." he finished with a smile. He said it so simply, so casual, that he could have been describing the weather to her.
"Oh." Haley blinked, perplexed. "Um...wow. Eventful few years you've had there." She frowned, trying to think through everything Dean had just said to her. "Did you just say that he'd died?" she asked, pointing to Sam. "And you've been to hell? What?"
"It's fine," he replied, almost immediately. "I mean, I don't remember hell anyway." Sam shot him a look at that comment, but Dean ignored it. "And between us we've died that many times it doesn't really affect us anymore."
Haley's face suddenly turned completely serious again. "Hold on, where's dad in all of this?" she pressed, reluctant, as though she had been scared to ask them. Neither Sam or Dean answered her, and that only confirmed her suspicions. "Oh god." She shook her head slowly, looking away from them.
Sam's face softened completely, he hadn't even thought about that. It had been twelve years since Haley had seen their father, and as far as she had known he was still alive. They hadn't told her, they hadn't even thought to tell her. She said nothing to either of them, just kept her eyes fixed upon the whiskey glass between her fingertips on the table. There was a vacant look in her eyes, making her unreadable.
"I'm sorry, Haley." Sam said, solemn. He looked to Dean, as though to ask for help, who simply nodded at him. "Look, we know that it's a lot to take in at once, but you need to know. Before we can do anything, you need to know what's going on."
She took a short breath and drank back another glass of whiskey that Dean placed in front of her. "I know," she nodded. "I know. Just...start from the beginning, yeah?"
They both nodded. And between them, they told her everything. They told her almost every single detail of what had happened while she had been away—they told her about Azazel and the psychic kids, they told her about Sam's visions and their dad's death, they told her about Ruby and Bela and Castiel, about Pamela and Ellen and Jo, about Ash and Chuck and the angels, the demons and ghosts and monsters, Lucifer and hell and the apocaplyse—they told her everything. They told her everything they had found out about their parents, and their grandparents, about their mom being a hunter and their dad knowing nothing about it before her death. For hours they explained it all to her, answering every single question she asked, until she knew as much as they did.
Until she was ready...
Thank you for reading this chapter! Hope you enjoyed it.
There is a lot of stuff coming up soon, more answers and explanations as to why everything happened. You find out next chapter where Haley's 'tattoo' really came from, and who put it there (though I have a feeling some of you have probably worked it out already). A lot of next chapter is going to be either Sam/Haley moments or Dean/Haley moments while they all get back on track with each other. And in the next couple we'll see the three of them get back to hunting, as well as being back on with Season five.
Also, a little side note — for my fic Haley Grace Winchester, I've had a few requests sent to me through PM asking for chapters, and I'm getting on with all of them this week, so if you've asked for one look out for an update on that. And if you want one just PM me and let me know, it can be totally AU from Saving Grace, too. (a couple of what I've been writing for it this week are).
As always, I really appreciate all of the support I get from you, it means the world! Don't forget to let me know what you thought!
And next update will be Friday! Have a good weekend! And a great Christmas to those of you who celebrate it. :-)
