Note: I have decided to add two new Characters into the story and this chapter is mainly about them. For anyone who is reading this story I can say that things do get better :)

Chapter Nine

"I'm tried, so fucking tired! Why won't he wake up? Why doesn't he want to talk to me? I feel like he's avoiding the inevitable – or maybe that's me…"

The piercing sun was blaring through the large window; it shook Ste awake. The atmosphere in the room felt different today more vibrant; like today was going to be special. Brendan was the only person occupying the room; although some patients had stayed for a few days but were then transferred again to other wards and departments. It was an unbearable loneliness for Ste most of the time; yes he did have his arts and crafts but it couldn't fill the gaping hole emerging in his soul.

Ste was sitting next to Brendan making a pop up card for Amy's birthday next week. He was happily chatting away; asking Brendan what colour he thought looked best and whether Amy would like jewellery or clothes. Suddenly the nurse appeared in the doorway she was being trailed by a little girl with straight blonde hair and deep green eyes.

"Hi Brendan, Hi Ste, how are you all today?" She walked further into the room with the little girl loyally following on behind.

"Good thanks" Ste replied looking curiously at the little girl.

"Good" She turned to the girl. "This is Ste and Brendan" She pointed over towards them as the girl followed with her eyes.

"Nurse Allen!" A loud voice was calling from the corridor. "You're needed"

"Yes coming" She replied. "Ste would you mind looking after her for a moment?"

"No it's fine."

"Thanks" She quickly hurried out of the door leaving the little girl standing nervously in the middle of the room.

There was moments silence as Ste surveyed the little girl standing before him. She looked terrified, lost and alone. Ste knew the feeling. It was like he was staring at himself; it was too real and too frightening so Ste decided to speak to break the tension.

"Hello I'm Ste" He smiled invitingly yet she said nothing.

"Who are you?" He tried as the first attempt failed.

"Kayla! A deep voice bellowed down the corridor.

"Kayla? Is that your name?"

She nodded.

"Kayla Marie Hudson where are you?" The voice got louder and as it did the little girl tensed until Ste thought she was going to fall over.

"Are you ok?" Ste asked.

"There you are, come on!" Standing in the doorway was a large man with strong features and a stern look on his face. She looked back at Ste; there was a message in that glance alerting him to danger.

"Hi I'm Ste" He jumped up for his seat.

"Rob" The man's stern look subsided.

"So…" Ste was lost for words. He didn't want to sound too cheerful in case it offended him.

"My wife, she's ill" He seemed to sense the questions in Ste's mind.

"Oh I'm sorry" Ste was surprised how forthcoming Rob was being.

"Thanks, what you in for?"

"Sorry?"

"I mean who you with?"

"Oh…" He pointed to Brendan.

"I see, what's his name?"

"Brendan"

"What happened?" He seemed genuinely interested which was a strange sensation for Ste – no one seemed interested before.

"He… he swallowed…" Ste couldn't finish the sentence but Rob didn't need him to.

"Pills, I get it."

"Yeah" Ste's head dropped to the floor in embarrassment.

"Kayla I gotta go and see the doctor, is it ok if Ste looks after you for a few minutes?" He directed his glance at Ste yet used a tone of voice suitable for a little girl.

She nodded and so did Ste. Rob left. There were a few minutes of silence in which Kayla's eyes darted around the room uncomfortably.

"How old are you Kayla?" Ste asked gently.

"Seven" She replied timidly.

"Seven's a nice number don't you think?" He smiled warmly; inviting her into the conversation.

"I wanna be eight" She replied more firmly.

"Why?"

"Cause all my friends are eight and they tease me" Her eyes grew wider as she began to trust Ste.

"That's not very nice is it – you shouldn't listen to them" Kayla smiled and nodded in agreement.

"What are you doing?" She asked peering over towards the table next to Ste.

"Making a birthday card for a friend, would you like to help?"

"Please" She bounced a little over towards Ste and sat on the chair next to him.

They sat for about an hour; cutting and sticking bits of felt and glitter on to different coloured card. Ste felt relaxed in Kayla's presence; it was nice to have someone to talk to who is able to reply and was naïve to the harsh realities of Brendan's condition. Anyone who visited would look at him as if he was already dead like they had given up all hope of any kind of recovery, but Kayla was different, she was the only person, apart from Cheryl, to talk to Brendan and engage him in the activity like Ste and it was pleasant for Ste to know that if this little girl didn't give up hope then why should he?

"Hey darling" Rob had returned from his visit with the doctor and was standing the doorway of the room. "What you been doing?" He asked with a small smile on his face.

Kayla didn't speak.

"We have been making a card, haven't we Kayla?" Ste answered for her.

Kayla nodded.

"Oh that's nice" His reaction sounded forced and both Kayla and Ste sensed this.

"She was no bother" Ste commented happily whilst giving Kayla a reassuring smile.

"Mm" Was all Rob said in reply. "We best be off, come on darling" He latched onto Kayla's arm and started walking; she followed on behind being practically dragged by the speed in which Rob was traveling at.

"Bye bye, it was nice to meet you" Ste called as they left the room.


In reflection of Kayla's visit Ste started to wonder more about her. That look was so meaningful and yet he had doubts in his doubts because he knew all too well what this place does to people however it seemed more but he just couldn't place a finger on it.

Rob and Kayla didn't return for two weeks and it that time Ste was wondering if he would ever see them again. He missed Kayla even though he had only spent a few hours with her; she made him feel needed in those few hours, sane even and he was grateful to her for that. Just as Ste has almost given up all hope of them appearing in the doorway again his prayers were answered.

"Hiya Ste" A little voice called from just inside the door.

"Kayla" Ste tried to hide the excitement from his voice. "Nice to see you" He smiled as an indication for her to further enter the room.

"How are you?"

Kayla didn't reply so Ste didn't push it. He knew that anyone in here wasn't ok.

"Where's your daddy?" He asked curiously.

Kayla shrugged her shoulders.

"Won't he wonder where you got to?"

"Rob's not my daddy" She answered sadly.

"Oh I'm sorry, where is Rob?"

She again answered with a shrug of the shoulders. "What are you making today?" She asked almost as if she didn't want to be heard.

"A paper chain to decorate Brendan's bed, isn't that right Brendan?" He asked looking lovingly into his tightly shut eyes.

"Can I help?" Kayla looked pleadingly at Ste with her deep green eyes and Ste found it hard to resist.

"Yeah course" He lifted her onto the chair next to him.

"I don't think I've introduced you two, Brendan this is Kayla and Kayla this is Brendan" He pointed towards Brendan.

"Nice to meet you Brendan" Kayla replied as if she could sense his presence in the room also.

"KAYLA!" Rob's voice practically shook the corridor. "KAYLA!" He repeated as the voice became louder. "Kayla there you are, I have been looking all over for you don't you even run off again! Do you understand?" He shook Kayla slightly as she nodded.

"Hi" Ste said astonished at Rob's behaviour.

"Oh hi Ste" Rob released a terrified Kayla who immediately retreated back towards Ste.

"Hi how are you?" Ste asked carefully.

"Ok thank you, and you?"

"Same as ever" He looked over a Brendan.

"Don't feel bad, sometimes things happen beyond our control" There was a meaning in his eyes that was deeper than a mere gesture of kindness, his words seemed sinister and cleverly thought through as if he were hiding a secret.

"Yeah" Ste replied absentmindedly.

"Kayla I'm going to see mummy's doctor about her medicines ok?" He leaned down in front of a badly shaken Kayla. She nodded.

"Back in a bit" He called behind him as he left the room.

Ste looked a Kayla. She was obviously terrified of this man anyone could see it. The way he had shouted at her was controlled; Ste could see that he was holding back his anger and it frightened him to think of what he was like when he didn't hold back.

"Rob is scary isn't he?" Ste casually told Kayla.

She nodded.

"Do you ever talk to him?" He couldn't help but notice the lack of communication between them.

"I did one time" She stared intensely at the floor.

"And what happened?" Ste felt as if he had turned into a shrink over the last six months.

"He told me to shut up so now I don't talk to him no more or he will shout" She kept her gaze fixed firmly on the floor.

Ste swallowed, this was too close to home and yet he couldn't help but feel compelled to help Kayla.

"It's not you Kayla, it's him don't feel bad when he shouts" Ste came slightly closer to a more relaxed Kayla.

At that moment Rob came charging through the door with a frightened nurse trailing on behind.

"I'm so sorry Mr Hudson but we can't give your wife anymore medication without the doctor's approval" She attempted to remain calm.

"Then get a doctor!" His voice was stern and full of anger. Kayla recoiled to behind Ste gently touching the back of his leg for reassurance.

"I can't do that sir the doctor is busy with another patient at the moment, if you would like to wait…"

"WAIT! No I will not wait! Come on Kayla we are leaving – now!" He shot a blunt look at Kayla who emerged from behind Ste and slowly made her way over to Rob.

Ste knew something was deeply wrong however he wasn't quite sure how to go about it. He couldn't make false accusations and yet he couldn't just leave a poor defenceless little girl alone with a man like that. He turned to Brendan:

"Bren… what should I do?" Ste asked. He realised something Brendan had said a while back.

"I'd never hit my kids Steven"

That confirmed the course of action Ste would take, he felt a duty to protect Kayla like he had a deep sense of guilt in the bottom of his stomach which would only be lifted when he did.