Author's note, Keywords and Warnings:
See the prologue.

Start: March 3rd, 2002
Finish: March 3rd, 2002


exuberance

IX. Lose Control
Sakura's not for eternity...
(Akito x Tohru)

When Yuki Sohma descended from the second floor, the place where not a long time ago, he had heard the little conversation between the cursed cat, and the girl that... and from the little clues from their words, he could make an assumption, that Shigure and Hatori had done something wrong to Tohru; and that 'something wrong' was not good to be heard from the cat's tone... He could imagine what 'something wrong' that Shigure and Hatori had... Yuki clenched his fist. If he torture Shigure right 'now', he definitely knew that Tohru wouldn't be pleased; he had heard the reasons from Tohru's own mouth.

The only thing he could do right then, was avoiding any contact with the dog... If he met him, he would doubt he could control his---

"Yuki-kun?" Fate was cruel. Yuki gritted his teeth when he saw Shigure in the end of the stairs, just near the phone. "You're home?"

Of course I am home! Don't you see me right here? Yuki mockingly said in his mind, but he only managed a smirk. "Yes. I'm home."

"About time." Shigure then smiled, an usual Shigure smile, but Yuki cringed to imagine what kind a 'Shigure' behind that smile, the Shigure that had enough wit to kick Charlie Chaplin from his stage, doing what he couldn't put into words, to Tohru Honda, the one that Yuki wanted to protect. Shigure then said again, "Hatori just called us from the Honke---" Great, Hatori, now what had been happening with my life? "---Akito wants us to go to Honke, and bring Tohru-kun along."

... Yuki was speechless for a while. He only felt the earth just spinning to the other side. "What he's going to do to her?" He heard his mouth asking.

"Of course, Yuki-kun. He's going to do what he wants," Shigure then stopped for a while, studying Yuki's expression. "You know that, and you can't do anything to stop it. So, if you're going to do what I think you're going to, you better stop it."

Of course he knew that, what kind of idiot the mouse was, if he didn't know that. He just turned his body, and said with a cold voice. "I'm going to call Honda-san and bakaneko. I hope Akito permits it." He ascended the stairs, not looking the smiling Shigure down there.

Yuki never went to Tohru's room with his own accord. Yes, he often stopped in front the door to her room without doing anything; but now he was going to knock and enter; he didn't like it, especially when he was going to find the cat inside, doing what he didn't want to see in it. Then, he was standing in front of the door, when he knew that his ears didn't catch any suspicious noise, he knocked the door twice. "Honda-san, I'm going to enter." And he opened the wooden thing.

Damn, he shouldn't.

There, Tohru was, well, what you could say... under the other boy. Well, they tried to catch their breaths, but seemed couldn't when their breaths were caught in the middle of their throat, faces were red of embarrassment, and eyes widened. Well, of course, they did something that Yuki didn't like to imagine, but at least, they still had their clothes on.

"Stop doing that." Yuki was amazed by his own controlled emotion when he said that. "If you're going to do that, do that in night time, where no one can see the both of you; not in the middle of noon."

"Yu---Yuki-kun!" Tohru sat up quickly, she blushed, buttoned some buttons at her shirt. She was shocked, that was clear. Yuki, again clapped his emotions when he smiled as usual to the girl that was caught.

"Che." Kyou jumped to his feet, avoiding Yuki's eyes, and walked passing him, like he wasn't interested to the girl; but Yuki knew that Kyou was doing that because the later didn't want the mouse knew his feelings. "Wait a second, bakaneko." The school prince said, halting the cat's steps.

"What do you want?"

"We need to talk." Yuki sentenced. Tohru's eyes lit up suddenly, she quickly stood up and started to babble. "Yuki-kun, don't, I mean, Kyou-kun, please explain, we are---"

Kyou chuckled. "That sounds... interesting. Hehe, now what you're going to say, kusonezumi." He cracked his feet and showed his teeth in deep amusement seeing the mouse was in his usual expressionless face. "... are you, by any mean, jealous?" Kyou laughed more when he saw Yuki wrinkled his eyebrows, seeing the cat, only to stop again when the mouse said. "What you're talking about?"

"Huh?"

"Oh," Yuki then smiled, evilly, completely satisfied when he saw the cat's confused face. "You meant 'that'? So, you thought my pride was so low and you thought that you could beat me like that, bakaneko." He laughed slowly. "You know, bakaneko, I came here to inform that Akito wants you, and me, and---" he moved his gaze to the girl that was speechless. "Honda-san to the Honke."

"He---hey? Are you se---" Kyou's voice and soon Yuki felt Kyou's hand on his shoulder, that he quickly slapped back with his, "Don't touch me, you filth!" The mouse glared at the cat, making the later stepped back in surprise.

"Yu--- Yuki-ku---" Tohru's worried voice soon was cut by Yuki's own trembling voice. "Yes, Akito wants her, what can you do about her, now? You don't have a choice to save her, and don't say 'Hey' to me! It's the end for Honda-san!!!"

***

It was the end for her? Was that true? She asked herself. Kyou didn't say anything much after that. Yuki was too. That time, she thought that they had been mad at her; but sometimes later, she knew that it was not right. They were worried, and they knew they couldn't do anything about her, because that they felt hopeless and guilty... She understood that soon enough...
Did Hatori fell the same too? She thought again, because she then didn't know how was Hatori in Akito's had. The last thing she knew about him was... the kacho -clan leader- had found the dragon...

But she soon knew, by the time Hatori was back to Shigure's house, to pick them up. He too, had avoided her questioning gaze. From there, Tohru decided not to ask everything, because when she did that, she would make them feel more guilty.
It was strange, the last thing they went in Hatori's car... the five of them, was on the trip to the Sohma's resting place near the lake. The situation had been the same, when Kyou, Yuki and Hatori didn't say anything, and Shigure laughed by his own... but this time their trip was for a place that was not far away, for the Sohma Honke complex.

The place was still large as usual, with houses here and there, larger than even her school. But no one had said anything when they reached there, just like a silent graveyard. She tried to think about something else as they walked to the Honke -main house-, passing the unknown corridors.
She saw the cherry blossoms in the way... pink, and pastel, so beautiful and exuberant... yet living in a short period. By the time, people was sitting under them, having Hanami -flower viewing-, enjoying sake, karaoke, and make themselves comfortable under the pink flowers, enjoying their life... enjoying their short period of living...
Of course, she could do so too... If one thought that he or she would die somehow, they should enjoy it while he or she could... That was Japanese philosophy, proven by how they enjoyed the sakura with Hanami every year...

She smiled, yes, no matter what, you should enjoy your life... At the same time, her heart ached, why? Maybe, she thought that her time was near, or maybe the people all around her thought so too... She let her heart hurting herself, enjoying the feeling... when will she feel it again, the only thing she could do... just enjoying her life...

The men stopped their steps in front of a closed shouji, that no doubt, leading to a big room. There, would be waiting... the leader of Sohma family. She halted her steps too. It was the second time she would see Akito in the same room. She stopped Hatori's hands that wanted to open the sliding door. She answered their confused eyes with kneeling in front of the door, and opened it slowly, in the way like women in old Japanese era did.

"I'm Honda Tohru." She said calmly, to the man that facing his back on her, and the others... Yes, the others... in the room he could see the other five Junishis; Ayame, Hatsuharu, Momiji, Ritsu and Hiro, sitting on their knees. All of their eyes were on the blank spots of the tatami... She amused when she saw their eyes, the exact 'I'll let her die soon' eyes. She was on her feet after that, her sudden bravery shocked the rest of them, as well shocking herself. She took a place few meters behind Akito, in front of the rest of the Junishis, and sat. "You call me, Akito-san?"

No answer from Akito. Behind her, Hatori, Shigure, Yuki and Kyou took their places to sit. After two of sakura petals fell, Akito still didn't answer, the third one fell on his hair.

"Akito-san, there a petal on your hair." She said, this of course, made the other Junishis lifted their eyes to Akito's hair in fear. They could only see Tohru's back, and Akito's back. But they knew that Tohru was smiling, and guessed that Akito was angry.

One of Akito's hands reached the thing mentioned in his head. "--- Thank you... Tohru-kun..." they could hear sound of a smirk behind it. Tohru only cocked her head and replied 'you're welcomed'.

"Akito-san, if you kind enough to tell me why you call me to this place?" The others didn't ask anything about this. Of course, they didn't dare. But they also wondered what had made the girl have so much courage so she could throw the question to the clan leader. No one, ever questioned the kacho.

"Nothing." Akito answered soon enough, his back was still facing him. He for himself still looking to the opened shouji in front of him, facing the yard, full of cherry blossoms. "I just suddenly want to call you here."

Shigure narrowed his eyes when Tohru suddenly said. "So, it has nothing to do with your feelings towards me, Akito-san?" That same time, all the eyes quickly turned to the girl's back. Some performing silent questions, under their breaths, as the girl continued. "I heard from Shigure-san that you had certain feelings towards me..." Shigure didn't make any expression as the other Junishis questioning eyes went to him.

Akito then laughed, quietly. "What kind of things that Shigure had said?"

"You hated me at first."
"That's true." A chuckle.
"And then, you didn't accept my behavior at my last visit."
"That is also correct."
"You started asking me."
"I won't debate."
"Then you're paying more attention to my conditions that you care for any other Junishis."

Akito didn't say anything for a while, then he turned his body, so the others could see him smiling towards the girl, and then to the dog. "Well, you're right, Tohru-kun. But I think I should teach some of the bunke people how to shut his mouth." Bunke was the sub-clan of a family, under the rule of Honke, of course he was mentioning Shigure in that case.

"I'm sorry for my lack of ability." Shigure just bowed once to Akito. "It won't happen again."

"Well, I hope so." Akito turned his gaze back to the girl in front of her. "Now for you, Tohru."

"Ah, please, don't do any harm towards Shigure-san." Tohru then commented, her voice was like her usual voice. No forced tone. Just like when she was talking with Hanajima Saki or Uotani Arisa. "He was just expressing his feelings. I do believe we have freedom of speech here."

"So caring, as usual." Akito took few steps closer towards the girl. Not just Yuki or Kyou, the rest of Junishis tried to hold the urge to go to Akito's place and made him stop from getting nearer to the girl. "But I somehow wanted to know what he had done to you, Tohru-kun."

Tohru lifted her eyebrows for a second. "He had done what you'd asked all of the Junishis to do."
"Oh." Akito of course understood what she meant. "Was it consensual?"
Tohru shut her mouth.
"He raped you."
Gasps.
"That's a cruel statement, Akito-san." Tohru bent her neck to one side. "I couldn't say that to the person that kind enough to take care of me for a long time."

Akito then laughed, surprising everybody, except of course, Tohru and Shigure, who had seen that coming before. "Caring, cute little Honda Tohru." His chuckled continued, to a lower and cold laughter... Laughter that she hadn't heard anywhere else. His eyes then looking at her, staring through her. Her body was paralyzed. She couldn't even make a single move, as the man in front of him, looking at her, gazing at her with looks she couldn't describe. True if she had seen him more than twice, but none of the experiences helped her. She hadn't felt any emotions more mixed than she was experiencing at 'this' time.

Akito took a step closer. Behind him, the opened shouji was showing the background of the falling cherry blossoms at the Sohma Honke's yard, and that time, she had seen another side of beauty... A beauty that she hadn't seen before...
If it was true that devil had also have their attractions, then she had seen Sohma's devil, in his own beauty... and the devil was descending himself in front of her... He smiled, with his devilish way, his hand touched her cheek, brushing lightly; his hand was cold. Tohru didn't move.

"Get out." An order from Akito. Usually they soon obeyed, but they didn't move any inch. Akito brought Tohru's head to his chest, under his chest; glaring to the other Junishis that looked him with hate and anger. But the clan head only smirked, satisfied. "Out, I say."

Shigure was the first one who stood to his feet, but he didn't move. Hiro then went out with a grunt, followed by others that peeking Akito and Tohru with hatred eyes before they were out from the room. Shigure was the last... "Close the door, Shigure." Akito said, and the dog obeyed.

"I hope I'm kind enough for you, Tohru-kun, so they didn't see you in my hands." Akito whispered, after a long time she was in his embrace.

"I am in your hands, Akito-san."

Akito chuckled; he then lifted Tohru head, and trailing her chin with his fingers. "You're a true beauty, you know that, Tohru-kun?"

"Akito-san?" She blushed when Akito made the distance between their face nearer. "I don't understand." She said as Akito brushed her hair to one side, and started to bit her neck slowly. "I know that you're also a beautiful person, so are the others---!" She halted her words when she felt sharp teeth penetrated her flesh.

"Don't talk about the others, in front of me, Tohru-kun." He got her answer from her nod. "Now, just obey me, or they will not have my mercy." He then nibbled at the skin of her arched neck. "Ah, good girl, Tohru-kun." He brushed his lips and tongue along the distance between her chin and under her ear. He heard a silent moan from her as he titled her head with his one hand and landed his lips on hers; he slowly bit her lower lip, as he ran his hand under her skirt.

Momiji couldn't hold his tears at the other side of the door. His tears were falling through his cheeks, to his chin and then fell to the wooden floor. He bit his lower lip so hard, till it was bleeding, just to stop his voice for becoming too loud. "Tohru--- I'm sorry, I'm sorry---" was mentioned every now and then between his sobs.

Ritsu was standing next to the half-breed boy. He held the little boy's shoulder with one hand, the other was on his lips, also to stop his voice from raising. Identical tears were running from his hazel eyes. Hiro had gone somewhere else, maybe he didn't care, or he didn't like to show his tears in front of the others.

Shigure just stood still, not facing anybody, just looking to the falling sakura petals in the other side of the yard, as if he was admiring them, not worrying about anything else. Ayame was following the other's gaze, then he just shook his head. Hatori had been keeping his eyes to the door, if he only had the ability to look through things than to erase other's memories...

Yuki was doing the same with Hatori.

They were all have same feelings in their heart, as well, hearing something else after they left the room; Kyou saying. "Now I can thankful I'm not a part of the Junishi. I don't have to pay the same sin as you do."

"You don't have to hold your voice, you can scream." Akito's voice, hoarse, tired.
"Nnn... no..." Tohru answered silently, her face was blushing more red than reddest, same tiredness as the clan leader, but holding more pain than him.
"ah... I... will..." Akito's voice was stopped, pushing the girl deeper into him.

Yuki gritted his teeth. It voiced. Go on, he screamed to himself. Break yourselves, I don't need any more teeth, I don't need anything...
I don't need... anything...

"Why you didn't scream?"
"I don't need to scream."
Silent for a while. "You're doing this out of your will? Because my threat?"
"No, I'm willing to do this..." She said, it was enough.
"... Why?"
"... Or because you pity me? Pity for my short life?"
"... ... ... No, Akito-san. I'm just admiring you, and I'm doing my best for you."
"... Why?"
"Because you're just like them, the sakura... you've a short life, that was true indeed." A gap of time. "I'm just helping you enjoying your time... For you, only live for that short time."
"... ah..." A sigh. "Tohru-kun, maybe you're really stupid."


X. The Shining Silver
I'm sorry...
(Yuki x Tohru)

I know I'm not a good artist, but I make something for this part, it's at http://www.geocities.com/lemonishida/gallery/furuba2.htm
Oh yeah, I heard something about the 10th male Junishi... hmm, I don't know anything about him (Arisa's boyfriend). So, please just for this fic, imagine he was not there... please? I'm sorry to bother.
While making this part, the author's listening to Do As Infinity's "week!", "Wings", "Fukai Mori", "Tsubasa no Keikaku", "We are", "Desire", "Rumble Fish"