A/N: Oh my god… It's been a while and I have a perfectly good reason…
It's been a nightmare; my computer crashed and so I lost all of my pre written chapters not to mention that I had no computer to type on…
I thank you all from the bottom of my heart for sticking around and I hope that you all don't hate me too much :-(
Okay, so onto the chapter- it's the second to last and I missed writing so much that I think I went a bit overboard… this chapter is pretty long.
Important thing to take note of here is that there are many time jumps in this chapter as it takes you from Christmas to the months leading up the graduation… I tried my best to include all the important bits in a way that isn't confusing so I hope it worked…
Enough of me… here's chapter 9, I hope you all like it and as always, let me know what you think! xoxo
Harry and Severus danced together for a few more songs before they retreated to the sidelines for drinks and friendly chatter. It was while Severus was conversing with former students that Harry noticed Lucius making a beeline for where they were standing; thankfully for Harry, one of the guests called for his attention and he was halted.
Harry quickly scanned the crowd for Draco and spotted him nearby talking with Luna.
"Severus," said Harry, drawing his partners' attention to himself, "I'm just going to go speak to Draco for a minute."
Severus nodded, "I will join you in a minute."
Harry made his way over to Draco, "Draco," he turned to Luna, "sorry to interrupt Luna but I just needed to ask you both to try to keep Lucius away from Severus and myself."
Draco sighed, "Yes, there's just that little matter of making sure that father doesn't spill the beans to Uncle Severus," he looked at Harry sincerely, "you've done more for me in these past few months than I'd ever be able to repay you for Potter, keeping father off your back is the least that I can do but I'd suggest convincing Severus to leave might be your best option right now; looks like father is making his rounds to thank everyone in attendance."
Harry suddenly felt nervous and it must have showed on his face since Draco gave him a concerned look, "I need to tell Severus about all of this though..."
Draco nodded, "Sooner or later; I guess hearing it from you will be a tad better than if father got to him first..."
"Oh, there's the Professor now," said Luna indicating behind Harry.
Harry turned around and met a smirking Severus, "Gossiping about me?"
Harry grinned, "Just telling Draco that I hope you're ready to leave now, I'm exhausted."
Severus wrapped an arm around Harrys' shoulders, "Of course, we should just inform Lucius before leaving."
Harry turned wide eyed to Draco beckoning him to say something.
Draco caught on and replied, "No need Uncle Severus, I'll let father know. Besides, it is my party after all so I'm as good as the host!"
Harry rolled his eyes at Draco, "You never miss a chance to show off, do you?"
Draco swatted Harrys' arm, "I thought you were leaving?"
"Idiots," muttered Severus in exasperation, "We shall be off then Draco, do enjoy the rest of the evening and congratulations to you and Miss Lovegood."
Harry thumped Draco on the shoulder and leaned over to give Luna a quick hug, "See you both after the hols."
Harry slid his hand into Severus' and they started to make their way to the door when a familiar voice called out, "Leaving without saying goodbye Severus?"
Harry stiffened and Severus turned around, "Nothing as such Lucius, you were busy."
Harry turned around slowly and met eyes with a white faced Draco and a panicked looking Luna.
"Ah never too busy for an old friend," Lucius shot a smirk towards his son, "and especially not one who has helped my son conspire against me so skillfully."
Severus tilted his head slightly to the side studying Lucius, "I don't follow."
Draco cut in, "Father, there are other guests-"
"Nonsense Draco," interrupted Lucius, "at least tell me now how you managed to convince 'principle-driven-Severus' to go along with all of this?"
Severus shot a look at his Godson before he looked at Harry with questioning eyes but Lucius obviously took their silence as a refusal to budge so he continued talking.
"I was most surprised to see Harry on your arm Severus but I'll admit that that was when I realized that this little set up meant my defeat... Draco was most tense all day; I of course knew why, it was after all only a few days ago when we spoke and he hadn't made any progress on his side- that's when I realized that with your cooperation and Mr. Potters' help, my son had managed to fulfill the condition," Lucius bowed to Severus, "And I accept my defeat most graciously... what else could I have expected from Slytherins other than manipulations?"
Harry felt Severus stiffen beside him as Lucius spoke until the man finally spoke, but the voice seemed foreign and void of any emotion.
"Yes, manipulations... if you will excuse me Lucius," said Severus before he spun on his heel and made his way towards the exit.
Harry hoped that Lucius wouldn't recognize the panic in his eyes as he spoke, "I guess that's my cue; thank you for the invite tonight Mr. Malfoy."
With one last look at Draco and Luna, Harry sped towards the door as fast as he could without running.
He made it outside in time to hear the crack of apparition and immediately turned on the spot apparating just outside the Hogwarts wards.
There was no sign of Severus when Harry looked around him and he was puzzled as to where the man had disappeared to so quickly.
A passing thought made him wonder whether the man had actually even apparated to Hogwarts in the first place before he remembered the sanctuary that Severus often took refuge in.
He prayed to all the deities he knew that the man hadn't changed the wards before he turned on the spot and apparated into a moonlit enclosure.
Harry looked to his side and noticed that the door was shut, he tried it and realized that it hadn't been locked so he silently opened the door and slid through.
The torches that lit the corridor were just enough for him to notice the flicker of a black robe as it disappeared around a corner.
Harry ran as fast as he could, not a care about being silent any longer. When he rounded the corner he noticed that Severus had almost reached his office door.
"Severus, wait," was all Harry could manage to call out desperately while gasping for breath as his heart thundered in his ears.
The only indication that the man gave of hearing him was the slight quickening of his steps.
Harry started to move again, taking quicker steps, "Please, I'm sorry... just hear me out, please Severus!"
Severus stopped in front of his door and Harry broke into a run to reach the man before he shut himself in his rooms.
Harry reached Severus just as the man stepped into his office and Severus was just about to close the door when Harry said "Severus" in a quivering voice full of emotion.
Harry wasn't sure whether it was the sound of the plea in the way he said the man's name or Severus' own curiosity but Severus halted with the door half closed and said, "I asked you more than once what was in it for you and you lied to me... Everything was a lie Potter."
Harry breathed in a shaky breath, "I wanted to help Draco; he would have had to marry a woman that he didn't love if he didn't fulfill his fathers' condition... Mr. Malfoy said that Draco would only be allowed to date if you were dating someone as well," Harry looked into the black eyes that stared at him forsakenly, "we didn't know what to do until we realized that we'd just have to beat Mr. Malfoy at his own game... I'm sorry Severus; I wanted to help Draco and I definitely didn't want to hurt you..."
Severus' gaze dropped to the floor and when he looked back up at Harry the disappointment was clear in his expression, "You cannot expect to help everyone Harry and not realize that you are going to hurt someone in the process..."
With that, Severus closed the door the rest of the way and left Harry there to stare at the wood in despair.
It took Harry a few moments to gather his bearings before he knocked on the door, "Severus, please open up. I'm sorry... please..."
Harry continued to knock on the door and plead with Severus until he was eventually pounding at the door with his fists and shouting loud enough to wake the entire castle.
It went on for a few more minutes until Harry stopped and listened; there was utter silence on the other side of the door. Severus had either gone into his private quarters or put up a silencing charm.
Harry turned his back to the door and slid down until he hit the floor. He rested his head against the door and closed his eyes, it was then that he realized that he was utterly exhausted but how could he even think of sleep when he hadn't gotten the chance to speak with Severus first. He sighed heavily and opened his eyes trying to listen whether or not Severus was in his office (hoping against hope that the man hadn't put a silencing charm up).
That's when he heard it; a small tinkle of glass at first, then a faint thud of a heavy object, a chair scraping across the floor and then a loud bang.
Harry shot to feet on full alert and turned his attention to the office door; there was silence once again and Harry listened intently before speaking, "Severus, please open up. Are you okay in there? What's going on?"
"What is going on Potter?"
Harry turned around and came face to face with one of the Slytherin prefects, "Its Tully right?" he asked the seventh year girl.
She nodded, "What are you doing outside Professor Snapes' office, and what's that racket about?"
"I-"
Harry was saved from answering when the door opened and Severus emerged looking only slightly ruffled; his robes had disappeared and he was left in his trousers and shirt which was un-tucked.
"Miss Tully, I apologize for the noise. You may return to the common room with 10 points for your alertness."
Harry gaped slightly at Severus' formal tone, as if he hadn't just been emotional and done whatever he had inside his office... that reminded Harry that he could sneak past the man so that he might have a chance to speak with him.
Harry ducked in behind Severus just as the man dismissed the prefect; Severus turned to glare at him, "Get out!"
But the direct order could not even distract Harry from what he was seeing around him.
Pages upon pages of books and notes littered the floor along with vials and spilled potions; there was a fallen bookshelf behind him and the spot on the wall that usually held the shelf of jars with disgusting potions ingredients was now hanging half off the wall, jars shattered with a chair lying broken underneath.
Harry hadn't even noticed when Severus had walked past him and occupied the second (untouched) visitors chair in front of his desk.
Harry swallowed against the knot in his throat, "What have you- Severus, I didn't mean to hurt you, none of us did..."
Severus stood up and rounded on Harry, "And just how many people know about this utter farce Potter?"
"Apart from me, Draco and Luna... just Hermione and Ron," replied Harry without pause.
Severus huffed out a hysterical laugh, "So the whole castle will know by the morning."
Harry reached out to place his hand on Severus' arm but thought better of it, "It's not like that, we were just trying to help Draco... this wasn't meant to be a prank, it isn't a prank. No one else will know about it."
Severus shook his head as he approached his desk and mumbled, "Because your word means so much."
That last comment ruffled Harry but he supposed he deserved it so he held his tongue.
Severus turned around and looked Harry in the eye, "And just why did Lucius think that he had such a foolproof condition Potter?"
Harry lowered his gaze; he was hoping that Severus didn't ask him that.
"Apparently Mr. Malfoy was convinced that you weren't currently in a relationship and probably even opposed to one at the moment so he thought-"
Severus cut in, "In other words, no one would look at greasy old Snape twice and so his condition will remain unfulfilled... Little did he realize that there was a Gryffindor who was always ready to take one for the team, to date a jaded man until his usefulness wore off."
Harrys' eyes filled with tears of hurt, "It isn't like that!"
Severus lowered his voice almost to a whisper, "Your father would have been proud."
Harry saw red; for the moment, he forgot that he was the one who had messed up and that he didn't have any right to be angry. He shouted angrily at Severus, "I'm NOT my father!"
For a moment the hurt showed in Severus' eyes before it disappeared and he said in a quiet voice, "No you're not, you are far worse."
Severus sat down heavily on the visitors chair again, his back to Harry.
Harry stood frozen to the spot for several seconds just staring at Severus' back. When he finally gathered the state of mind to speak again, his voice seemed like it wasn't his own.
"When I agreed to do this, I didn't agree simply because I wanted to help Draco, I agreed because I needed the opportunity to work up the courage to talk to you... That day after your class, when I said that I wanted to be friends, I meant that. I wanted to get to know you as more than my hateful Professor because the war showed me that you were much more than that.
"I did it for friendship, both mine and Dracos' and ours. That was actually the plan; I didn't expect you to be even remotely fond enough of me to want to date me so I thought that we could at least become good enough friends that you'd accompany me to the ball and Dracos' condition would be fulfilled but I can't even place when I lost control of it all... when I actually started to fall for you. Everything was real Severus, everything... we may have not come together under the most honest of circumstances but I never lied to you about anything else..."
Harry took in a deep breath and looked at Severus' back; it looked like his hands were folded across his chest and the only indication that he hadn't fallen asleep was the rhythmic drumming of his finger against his bicep.
"Please say something..."
Silence...
"Say something Severus..."
Silence...
"Scold me..."
Silence...
"Shout at me... Hex me... Just don't be silent..."
Silence...
"Please, I'll do anything Severus... Anything..."
There was a scrape of the chair moving on the floor and then Severus stood and approached Harry.
His expression was void of emotion, "Anything?"
Harry realized belatedly that it may not have been the best word to use around a Slytherin but he wasn't going to back out now when he could have a chance at making it up to Severus.
"Anything," confirmed Harry.
Severus nodded, "Then leave."
Harry eyes widened and made to protest, "What-"
"Go Harry, go and stay away from me... don't discuss this with anyone and you should also forget about all of this. Leave me be, you said that you'll do anything Harry, will you do this for me?"
Harry looked at Severus in disbelief, mouthing soundless words and looking as if he was a stray caught in the headlights. He took a few labored breaths and then lowered his head, "Yes, anything..."
Without looking back at Severus, Harry exited the office. He walked all the way to the dungeons stairs when he stopped upon hearing the thud of the door closing. He closed his eyes, willed his tears away and made his way to Gryffindor tower.
I hate that he thinks I hurt him on purpose...
Xxx
Harry didn't think that he'd manage to get any sleep tonight and so he changed out of his robes and started to pace alongside his bed, replaying the night in his head.
He only stopped to sit down when his head started to hurt. He settled himself against the headboard and stared into space...
Xxx
Harry startled when the door flew open with a bang.
The first thing that he noticed was that his eyes felt sore- seems like he did cry after all and his neck was stiff- he also fell asleep in an uncomfortable position; the next thing he registered was that there were people standing beside his bed.
"What are you all doing here?" he was grateful that his voice sounded normal- or at least as normal as it did in the morning.
"Oh Harry," said Hermione as she settled herself beside Harry and laid her head on his shoulder, "Draco contacted us about last night and we hurried here as fast as we could... I'm so sorry Harry."
Harry tilted his head to the side and let it rest on Hermiones', "We had some idea that it was going to end up like this..."
"Mate, what'd Snape say? I hope the git didn't hurt you, he didn't or did he?"
Harry mustered up a small smile for Ron, "Just a little over here," said Harry as he laid a hand over his heart.
Ron lowered his head uncomfortably while Hermione just seemed to squeeze him to her side even tighter.
Harry looked at Draco and for a man that had just been engaged to his dream girl the night before, he certainly didn't look the part.
"I'm sorry that I couldn't keep father away Harry-"
Harry shook his head, "It isn't your fault; I should have told Severus sooner."
Hermione lifted her head up, "We shouldn't have started this to begin with; it's on all of us..."
There was silence for a few moments before Draco spoke, "Get dressed Potter, wear something flattering; it's time to go show Severus exactly what he'll be missing if he decides to give you up."
Ron came around on the other side of the bed and pulled Harry up into a standing position, "Go on mate, Malfoy and I will take care of that wardrobe of yours."
Harry sighed, "I can't-"
Draco interrupted Harry, "Of course you can Potter; you're surely not going to let Severus' attitude put you off before you've even tried to fix things now are you?"
"That's just it, I have tried and Severus asked me to leave him alone so I can't go back..."
Draco rolled his eyes, "Come on Potter, it's understandable that he didn't want to see you last night but you can't take that to heart."
Harry sent a pleading look towards Hermione and she thankfully caught on; she laid a hand on Dracos; arm just as he was about to launch into another tirade.
Draco looked at where Hermiones' hand lay on his arm and his demeanor suddenly changed.
"What really happened last night Harry?"
Harry closed his eyes as he remembered how he begged and pleaded and how looks of hurt would flash across Severus' face, when he reopened his eyes, his friends were looking at him with concern.
"Severus asked me to leave him alone- for good... He's done with me; he doesn't want me to bother him and I promised him and I promised myself and now I'm promising you guys that I'm going to respect his wishes... for once I'm going to do what he asks because he at least deserves that."
Hermione had tears running down her cheeks, Ron was leaning against a bedpost with a worried look on his face and Draco was staring at Harry, "And how do you think you are going to cope? You can't just forget everything because you made promise..."
Harry raised his hand to stop Draco, "Draco, please-"
"Harry," said Ron, "Draco is just worried about you, we all are..."
"I was fine before Severus and I'm going to be fine without him now," he sighed, "I know that you guys care and I appreciate that but I don't deserve to sit around and mope that things didn't work out so I'm just going to hold it together, finish this year and then get out of Severus' hair for good... You guys with me?"
Hermione smiled weakly, Ron patted Harry on the back and Draco gave a firm nod.
They were after all in this together.
Ron said something about nicking a few things for them for breakfast and Hermione accompanied him.
Harry smiled at his friends and then turned to go to the bathroom, but that wasn't before Draco noticed the pain in Harrys' eyes.
"You don't have to pretend that you're okay, you do know that right?" asked Draco.
Harry nodded, "Good, 'cause I'm not..."
He walked into the bathroom and closed the door behind him with soft click.
Xxx
Harry was eternally grateful that his friends decided to throw together an impromptu picnic; he didn't feel like he would have been able to face a breakfast in so close contact with the faculty- especially since it was the holidays and they all ate the same table.
Harry seriously doubted that Severus would even show up for breakfast in the Great Hall though, the man looked to be in bad shape when Harry left him last night and he hoped that Severus was okay.
Harry turned towards Hermione and asked, "When are you guys leaving then?"
Ron answered, "Leaving? You're barking if you think we're gonna leave after everything!"
"But your holiday-"
"It's only a few more days Potter," said Draco, "And besides, we mostly have the castle to ourselves... Maybe I can be part of a few reckless Gryffindor wonderings."
Draco flashed Harry a smile and he returned it; for the second time in as many minutes, Harry felt a deep gratitude towards his friends wash over him.
An owl landing near their spot caught Harrys' attention. Hermione leaned over and took the paper from the owl before placing some coins in its pouch.
As the bird flew off, Harry asked, "You still read this tripe Hermione?"
Hermione rolled her eyes as she unrolled the newspaper, "You never know what you can learn about yourself from the media."
Ron patted Harrys shoulder, "Don't even try mate, she's been reading this trash everyday so she can keep an eye on Skeeter."
Harry snorted, "Then I fully support you Hermione- 'Mione, what's wrong?"
Hermiones face had gone as white as a sheet, "Harry- it seems like Rita is at it again... Gods, she's going to have it from me now!"
Harry placed a hand on Hermiones arm to calm her down before he took the paper from her, and right there on the front page was a picture of him and Severus during one of their dances. In the picture, they twirled around the dance floor for a few seconds before they leaned in for a kiss.
Harry moved his eyes away from the picture to read the article. It was very short for a change but it had certainly used those few choice words to speak about a love affair that had started before the fall of Voldemort and how Harrys love had shown Severus the path of righteousness which was fundamental in the defeat of Tom Riddle.
Harry resisted the urge to crumple the paper and set an incendio on it; instead he stood up and walked towards the edge of the lake where he stood staring at the water.
Hermione touched his shoulder before she spoke, "I'll make sure that she prints a retraction Harry."
Harry shook his head, "I appreciate it Hermione but everyone would have already seen it and besides, everyone knows not to believe a word she publishes."
"Do you think that she was tailing you and Severus all night?"
"Impossible, she wasn't on the guest list under media personnel," said Draco.
Ron gave Hermione a meaningful look; she sighed and then her expression changed to one of utmost seriousness, "Draco, what I'm going to be telling you needs to be treated with serious discretion because I promise that I won't hesitate to cast a privacy spell over you."
Draco held both his hands up as if in surrender, "Cross my heart..."
Hermione nodded, "Rita is an unregistered animagus... a beetle to be precise, which helps her to eavesdrop on private conversations."
"You've got to be kidding me!" exclaimed Draco.
"So it doesn't matter whether she was on the guest list or not, she could have got in undetected anyway," reasoned Hermione.
Draco shook his head, "No, I've got that one down too; we have wards up that don't allow those who aren't keyed into the wards to transform into their animagus form- that means that Skeeter couldn't have got in without triggering an alarm."
"Well the picture seems to be only genuine thing in this article so I bet she paid someone off for it," said Ron.
Draco arched an eyebrow, "Possible."
"If you guys don't mind, I'm going to go have a little lie in; didn't get the best night of sleep," said Harry.
His friends nodded, "Sure Harry, we'll make sure that at least one of us is in the tower in case you need us."
Harry sighed and looked at Hermione, "I'm fine, really; you guys don't have to babysit me… I'm just happy that you're here," he looked at Draco and Ron, "Catch you guys later."
Xxx
Harry had just closed the dorm door behind him when it opened again and Draco walked in.
"Slytherins have free rein in the Gryffindor tower now?" asked Harry.
Draco winked at Harry, "Weasley gave me the password; it'll be changed after the holidays so he's not too worried… I actually just came up here to tell you that I'm going to go see Uncle Severus today; is there anything you want me to say for you?"
Harry smiled weakly at Draco as he sat down on his bed, "Leaving him alone means no messages as well… but I appreciate your concern. I really am okay Draco; I don't know if the others believe me but I'm just a bit sad- heartbroken and such but I'll get over it."
"You don't do anything in halves do you Potter; you really went and fell for him…"
Harry smiled, "Severus is an intense man, and I didn't even realize when it happened…"
There was silence for a moment and then Draco spoke, "I'll fill you in when I get back yeah- on second thought, if I get back; he might just pickle me for potions."
Harry snorted in amusement but didn't say much else so Draco excused himself while Harry got comfortable and waited for sleep to claim him.
Xxx
Draco knocked on Severus' office door for the fourth time; he could have just left but he knew that things had to be resolved at some point and so he knocked again.
There was still no answer so in frustration, he tried the door handle. To his surprise, the door opened; he stepped in and immediately noticed that something was off.
Severus' office looked entirely too bare. There were no bookcases and the shelves were without its usual jars. For a moment, Draco was struck by the thought that the man was mad enough to up and leave after last night but then he noticed the desk that was still cluttered with essays and ink pots and he breathed a sigh of relief.
There was a box just to the side of the desk that caught Dracos' attention.
He walked over to it and peered inside to find it full of parchment and pages it various states of destruction. There was however one mostly intact workbook that stood out; Draco picked it up and studied it. It looked like some kind of potions book or a detailed record of ingredients and their reactions with one another.
Severus chose that moment to walk in.
"Draco, what are you doing in here?"
Draco slipped the book back into the box behind his back, "Er sorry Severus, I knocked and found the door open."
Severus nodded, "I was just heading out so if you don't mind…"
"Please just wait for a few minutes; I really need to talk to you…"
"What, have I gained celebrity status overnight that everyone wants to speak with me?"
"Please, it's about yesterday-"
"I have no wish to discuss anything, least of all with you."
"It was all my idea; I came up with it and Potter would never have done it if I hadn't begged and pleaded…"
"I don't appreciate Potter using you as a means to try to get my attention."
Draco shook his head, "No, I don't know what you said to him last night but Harry is adamant to respect you, to stay out of your way and not bother you."
"Good."
"Uncle Severus," pleaded Draco, "I'm sorry… what we did was wrong and I realize now that if I'd just come to speak with you once, you would have tried everything in your power to help me but I got scared, I panicked and I thought that maybe I should just try to play my way out of this situation but that was wrong…"
Severus rounded his desk and sat down on his chair, "What I don't get Draco, is that you were in here multiple times telling me about your situation so why did you not just be fully honest… I may not have been able to change Lucius' mind but I would have damn right tried! I'm your Godfather Draco; I spent most of my life looking out for you… when did you decide that you should repay that with a filthy prank?"
Draco sighed, "I didn't want to hurt you, trust me… I lost sight of everything once I realized that I could play my father at his own game; I didn't think of the consequences, not for you, not for myself and not for Potter… he's hurt too, more than I'd realized- he really cares for you Severus."
Draco looked at his Godfather, waiting- hoping for a reaction but all that he got was stony silence.
"Damn it, say something Severus…" pleaded Draco.
"I expected this from Lucius but you were quite the shock…"
"You're angry, I get it-"
"I don't even know what I feel Draco! Everything is a mess… Harry bloody Potter has turned my life upside down and I don't know how to fix it."
"Talk to him-"
"Don't you dare tell me what I should and shouldn't do! I could well and easy kick you out and sever all ties with you-"
"Don't-"
"But I promised to look after you and stand by your side as a father figure… and fathers don't write their children off, they discipline them, yes, but never write them off."
Draco breathed out a sigh of relief, "This means the world to me Uncle Severus and I promise that I'll never break your trust again-"
"Don't make promises that you can't keep."
Draco nodded, "But Harry-"
Severus raised a hand to silence Draco, "I'm already making an exception for you so do not ask me to do the same for Potter. You had something to lose; I may even go as far as to say that you weren't thinking rationally when you decided to use me but Potter had no emotional investments in this at all. He was simply acting without thinking, allowing some sort of hero complex to kick in and for that, I cannot forgive him."
Draco looked at Severus with wide eyes, "I know that I'm on really thin ice right now but please allow me to say something."
Severus studied Draco before he said, "Go ahead."
Draco took a deep breath, "No matter what you may believe, Potter didn't go into this so that he could hurt you. At the beginning, we tried our best to help him to gain common ground with you but once that happened I noticed that he'd changed and slowly it stopped being about helping me and more about keeping you happy… When you refused to attend the ball I was at my wits end, I approached you and made everything worse and that was when Potter let me have it. He went on about how it was your decision and that we shouldn't push you; that made me realize that Potters' feelings for you weren't a lie, that it wasn't just for a show and that somewhere along the line he'd genuinely fallen for you. He even agreed to attend the ball alone and talk to father himself about Luna and I, that's how much you mean to him…"
Draco fell silent and noticed that Severus was staring at the opposite wall; his eyes looked like he was seeing something that Draco couldn't, like he was reliving a memory.
After a few seconds, Severus snapped out of it and looked at Draco, "Is that all Draco?"
Draco visibly deflated, all hope of Severus giving Harry a chance leaving him.
"Yes."
"Then if you will excuse me, I need to get this to Mr. Filch," said Severus as he lifted up the box from beside his desk and proceeded to the door.
"What is all of that?"
Severus stopped and turned around, "Just a few old books and notes; Argus had once told me that all of this interests him and besides, I was in no need of this."
Draco thought of the book that he'd seen and said, "How about I take it to him for you?"
Severus raised an eyebrow and looked at him suspiciously, "And why would you do that?"
Draco shrugged, "Think of it as penance for my mistakes… it's not nearly enough but it's a start."
Severus looked at the box then back at Draco before heaving it into Dracos' arms, "I had to see Minerva anyway."
Draco grinned at the man before he made his way out of the office and towards Filch's.
As soon as he was out of view from Severus, he placed the box on the floor and took out the book, he placed a shrinking spell on it and hid it in his pocket before he lifted the box once again and went on his way to deliver it.
Xxx
Harry hadn't had much better sleep than the night before but he counted it as something since all his troubles seemed to have disappeared for a little while.
He walked down into the common room and was thankful to see that neither Ron nor Hermione were there which meant that they listened to him when he had said that he didn't need a babysitter.
Just then, the portrait opened and Draco entered, "You're awake; good I want to show you something."
Harry looked at Draco, puzzled.
"What is it and how did your conversation with Severus go?"
Draco sighed, "He's different Potter-"
"He didn't shout at me."
Draco looked at Harry questioningly, "What?"
"I thought that he'd be raging, maybe he was but he didn't show it… he was quiet and that was 10 times worse because I could hear how hurt and disappointed he was every time he spoke."
Draco nodded, "He was like that today as well and I've never seen him that way… it scared me. He's my Godfather, Potter, I never wanted to hurt him and I think he realizes that but he's still not going to give in easily…"
Harry suddenly had an urge to ask Draco whether or not Severus had forgiven him but he didn't think that he could hide his disappointment if Draco said that he had; Severus had after all asked Harry to disappear from his life but he'd never ask that of Draco since they were practically family.
Draco snapped his fingers in front of Harrys' face, "Where are you lost?"
Harry shook his head, "Just thinking, now what did you want to show me?"
Draco extracted something from his pocket and restored it to its correct size.
"Severus was about to get rid of this among a whole lot of other books but it looked important so I nicked it, do you recognize it?"
Harry took the battered book from Draco and studied it, "It looks like some sort of potions book, you're the expert though but I don't see what's so special about it."
Draco took it and turned it over in his hands, "Yeah but this looks like some sort of record, like a journal of sorts..."
"Maybe it's Severus' and he has no use of it now," suggested Harry.
Draco looked at Harry like he was an idiot, "Potions masters don't 'just' get rid of their journals like it's of no excuse and besides, this isn't handwritten."
Harry was about to tell Draco that he should just get over it when a loose page flittered to the floor. Harry picked it up and looked at it, "Hey this has Severus' handwriting on it."
Draco snatched the page and looked at it, "Indeed it does so I guess he was just criticizing someone else's work then."
Harry suddenly seemed to remember something, "Hey Draco, do you mind if I kept that?"
"Well if Severus didn't think it was accurate then it's of no use to me. Are you gonna use it as reading material when you need to fall asleep?"
Harry rolled his eyes at Draco before taking the book from him.
Xxx
That night when Harry couldn't fall asleep, he took the potions book that he'd got from Draco and started to skim through all of the pages. It was no easy feat since there were a good few hundreds of them but Harry kept his focus, he needed to confirm whether he was right or not.
By two in the morning, he had finally finished and he fell back exhausted against his pillows.
This was Severus' manuscript for the works that he was going to publish, Harry was sure of that.
He remembered that Severus had told him that the publishers requested some changes to be made before publication and from the looks of it, Severus had made those changes but why then did this journal look like it had been deliberately damaged…
Harry placed the book under his pillow and laid his head over it; this time he fell asleep almost instantly.
Xxx
The days that followed were as normal as any other; Harry, Ron, Hermione and Draco talked and hung out together, they played chess and the boys played quidditch while Hermione watched. They never ate in the Great Hall, instead visiting the kitchens or taking food outside to when it wasn't exceptionally freezing.
They never brought Severus up and Harry didn't speak about him either; it seemed like they were avoiding the topic and while Harry didn't think that it was the ultimate solution, it seemed to work for now so he went with it. He was also thankful that they never ran into the man anywhere in the castle either; for all Harry knew, Severus might've packed up and gone to spend the holidays elsewhere.
Soon the days started to go by quickly and the New Year was fast approaching.
Ron and Draco made plans to go out for New Years Eve; according to them it wasn't anything extravagant and just drinks between friends. Harry was sorely tempted to decline but he'd gotten so used to his friends' company that he couldn't imagine what it'd be like if he was left alone with just his own thoughts for company.
By the time that night arrived and Harry was cooped up in a booth in a Hogsmeade club with his friends, he was grateful that he had come after all. Apart from drinking a little too much and each of them spilling their fair share of secrets, it was a fairly quiet way to welcome in the New Year.
Xxx
The day that marked the students arrival back at Hogwarts had arrived and Harry looked forward to having the castle full and noisy again; he treasured the quiet of the holidays with his friends by his side but he was in need of a change of atmosphere.
Luna arrived at the Gryffindor table to greet her fiancé and her friends with a flurry of apologies to Harry.
"Oh Harry, I'm so sorry that I wasn't here for you after everything that happened but father thought it best we spent some quality time before preparations for the wedding began."
Harry realized with a jolt that this was the first time in many days that someone had mentioned what had happened and it brought everything back with a force so great that he'd almost got a headache.
He realized that tomorrow he had DADA and that meant he had to face Severus once more. What would the man do? Would he revert to old ways and taunt Harry mercilessly or would he make everyone suffer for Harrys' mistake by being an unreasonable bastard?
Harry suddenly realized that he was still staring at Luna and that she looked rather uncomfortable.
"How is your father, Luna?" asked Harry politely.
Luna seemed to visibly relax before she answered, "He's just fine but he's been busy lately, he thinks he's discovered a new creature that seems to be a cross between a flobberworm…"
Ron nudged Harry under the table and whispered, "Snape isn't here for the feast."
Harry sighed, "I hope he's okay…"
Ron patted Harrys' hand, "The git will be back terrorizing us tomorrow and then you can hate him all over again."
Harry laughed but it was void of any humor.
Xxx
Harry didn't see this one coming. He didn't think that Severus would ignore him so badly in fact that he might as well have been wearing the invisibility cloak.
Severus seemed back to his usual self; snapping at students and taking points but this time it seemed that Slytherin weren't even going to get saved. No, Severus didn't take points off his house but where in the past Slytherin would unfairly gain the points that Gryffindor had lost, this time all they got for their snickering and taunts was a proper tongue lashing.
The first half of Severus' lesson was all about how their current focus is solely on the NEWTS and he informed them that they would be learning about and practicing wordless spells with their big finish focusing on a wordless shielding spell.
He said all of this without looking at Harry not even once.
Ron who got caught whispering to Harry during the lesson had lost Gryffindor 5 points and got a telling off but Harry had been ignored as if Ron had been conversing with the walls for all Severus cared.
Once their lesson was over, Hermione and Draco rushed over to Ron and Harry.
"Well he's ignoring you but that's better than him targeting you constantly right?"
Hermione slapped Dracos' arm, "Harry, are you okay?"
Harry bit his lip, "I guess that Draco is after all right but it's still awful; does he really think that he can avoid me until the end of the year?"
"It'll get better mate," said Ron, "that or you'll get used to it so don't think about it too much yeah."
Harry nodded and they made their way to their next class.
Xxx
It became clear that the teachers were all clearly in a no nonsense mode regarding their upcoming NEWTS. They had received homework from every subject on their first day back and by the end of the week it seemed like they were going to drown under their workload.
All of the teachers had informed them of a preparatory test period that they would take place before their Easter break and so they couldn't wait until before their NEWTS to start studying, because they needed to be consistent in order to pass the preps.
Hermione of course was both stressed out and overjoyed by the prospect and for once, Harry shared the sentiment.
Extra work meant less time to think of Severus but it wasn't like the man was making it any easier. Severus had made it a point of ignoring Harry and while it may be working for the older man, being ignored certainly riled Harry up a lot more than Severus' insults did.
Most of their time in DADA was spent practically; they started off trying to master simple spells wordlessly and as everyone became more efficient, they progressed onto the more complicated spells.
It was the day that they started on wordless shields that Harry had no choice but to ask Severus for help.
His partner was Ron and it was Rons' turn to throw mild jinxes at Harry while Harry shielded himself although it seemed that Harrys' shield only protected certain parts of his body at a time which meant that he almost always got hit by a jinx.
Harry raised his hand and finally after weeks, Severus looked at him.
"Professor, I need some help; my shield isn't spanning over my entire body…"
Severus looked at Harry calculatingly before he looked to the side, "Draco, you seem to have the gist of it; swop with Mr. Weasley and see to Mr. Potter."
And just like that, Severus moved on to the other pupils without a backward glance to check whether or not Harry had improved.
And he hadn't improved. Harry was boggled; DADA was his best subject and he usually grasped concepts faster than any of the others but he was having massive trouble with the shield and although Draco and Hermione tried to give him as many pointers as they could, he still couldn't get it.
Xxx
As the weeks went by and they got busier, their teachers told them that all of their prep tests were going to be practical in nature and that scared Harry into investing much more time into DADA.
One night Hermione looked up from her potions text and said, "Harry, you can't just focus on one subject, what about things like transfiguration and potions?"
"McGonagall said that she's happy with my work and Draco's been assessing me once a week to make sure that I master the potions we've learned in each week."
Hermione shook her head but took Harrys' word for it.
Xxx
After weeks upon weeks of slaving over their books and practicing in class and in their free time, the prep tests arrived.
They took one test a day and by the end of the cycle, they only had their DADA test left.
They each took turns in which they performed first a simple spell and then progressed onto more complex ones until all that was left was the shield.
Draco and Hermione both managed to shield themselves from the majority of the hexes thrown at them by Severus until the very end when their shield came down in exhaustion. Ron had shielded against the simple spells but one well aimed powerful hex had crumpled his shield. Harry was the last to go and he tried with all of his might to summon his shield but almost all of Severus' hexes had hit him; he simply couldn't get his entire body to remain protected by the shield.
Severus didn't even bother to throw the last hex at Harry; he just looked at him, shook his head and informed the class that the test was over.
Xxx
"It's not so bad mate, this was just to prepare us…" said Ron once they were dismissed.
"That's just it; this was preparation and I couldn't even handle it!"
"Harry," said Hermione, "Snape hadn't even taught you the shield properly; you even asked him for help and he might as well refused to your face for all the help he provided!"
"Hey!" exclaimed Draco.
Hermione sighed, "I didn't mean it like that Draco… Snape is upset but he needs to separate his personal life from his job; Harry is still his student and it's his job to teach."
Ron snorted in amusement, "I would actually feel bad for the man if you were his boss."
Hermione ignored Ron, "Maybe it's time you spoke to McGonagall about it Harry, this can't go on."
Harry shook his head, "Let it go 'Mione… I'm not going to complain about Severus and besides, you guys are right, it's just preparation; I'll be much more prepared for the finals."
Xxx
Severus had just sat down to mark the first years' essays when his door burst open and in walked a very disgruntled Minerva.
"Has knocking gone out of fashion these days?"
Minerva arrived at his desk and laid a piece of parchment down rather angrily, "Don't test me Severus Snape…"
Severus held his tongue; he knew all too well when Minerva meant business, "Is something the matter?"
Minervas' nostrils flared, "Tell me, why is it that Mr. Potter has a fail mark under DADA?"
Severus rolled his eyes, "Mr. Potter is not the only person who has received that particular grade I assure you."
"Mr. Potter is the only one who has topped in DADA since his first year so I ask you again, why did you fail him?"
"His shield is abysmal."
Minerva scoffed, "Is that it?"
"What do you mean 'is that it'? In a world like ours, Potter will be dead man walking if he cannot shield himself."
"Severus, whatever happened between you two cannot interfere with you job!"
Severus narrowed his eyes, "That is none-"
"It is my business if students' studies begin to suffer. Now I'm not going to ask for details but I want you to know that if Harry gets anything less than an 'O' in his NEWTS, I'm taking you to task! You will put aside your differences and assist him in class like you would for any other student and know that I will be checking in with you periodically."
With that, she inclined her head, "Good evening to you Severus," and then turned and exited his office.
Severus had a strong urge to throw something at the door but he resisted in favor of slamming his hands on the desktop.
He leaned back on his chair and closed his eyes for a few moments trying to figure out when his entire life had slipped from his control.
He thought back to the day when Harry had approached him about his old potions book… yes that had been the day.
He tried so hard to resist the boy; he'd hoped that his reputation would be enough to curve the boys' enthusiasm but it just seemed to fuel Harrys' desire to want to get to know him better.
He knew that every time he put himself into a situation where he was alone with Harry was a mistake. He'd spent years and years trusting his instincts but it seemed that when Harry was around, all logic fled.
Severus knew though that he could blame everyone and everything as much as he wanted but he'd lost track of where exactly he'd started to care for Harry that he could even go as far as to say that it might even have been inevitable- even if Harry hadn't decided that he wanted to be friends with Severus, Severus would still have noticed that Harry had become a wonderfully attractive young man.
But he'd really been such a fool; had he really fallen so hard for Harry that he wasn't able to see a bluff… that he'd given up his secrets and revealed parts of him that had never been seen…
He hated a part of himself right now… Harry had lied to him and had manipulated him but a part of him still admired the young man; it was almost as if he couldn't be fully angry with him and that boggled him because Harry certainly deserved his full wrath.
Severus Snape was a man who didn't enjoy being lied to and cheated but somehow it felt like that didn't happen at all… yes, Harry and Draco lied but Draco had such a genuine reason plus he was his Godson- family, the only family that Severus had so he couldn't just write him off and as for Harry, well Harry was the bane of his existence and a thorn in his backside but he was also a great listener when Severus needed to vent, he understood Severus' dark sense of humor, and as much as Severus insulted him- Harry was very intelligent and could hold a conversation and above all, Harry didn't cower when Severus became difficult. The young man had no qualms about putting Severus in his place and in all his life Severus hadn't met anyone who had complimented him so well.
Severus ran a hand over his face and sighed heavily; he was becoming soft. He reminded himself that it was just a few months more and then Harry would be gone; he couldn't give in, not now when he was almost free of the young man and he most certainly couldn't give in and set himself up for more disappointment… No, he was going to see these few months through and then be rid of Potter forever.
Xxx
The Easter holidays were short, too short.
Most of Harrys' time was spent with his friends, not having fun as they should be, but instead slaving over books and notes in either the Gryffindor common room or the library.
They'd been handed stacks of homework to complete and top of it all, the boys had finally decided to take Hermione up on starting to study for exams earlier than usual.
In the limited free time that they managed to get, Draco would go spend his evenings with Luna by the lake and Ron and Hermione would sit together by the fire till the wee hours of the morning.
Harry was genuinely happy for his friends but he couldn't help but think of how spectacularly he'd messed up with Severus whenever he'd see the couples hold hands or kiss.
He spent the majority of his free time in the kitchens and it was truly a laughable matter for him whenever he imagined how cliché it was for a broken-hearted teenager to try to lose himself in good food and rich chocolate while the rest of the world went on with their lives.
He was grateful whenever he was busy and inundated with work though; that kept him focused on school instead of Severus.
Xxx
Harry and his friends couldn't decide what had changed but after the Easter Holidays, Severus became a whole lot more willing to help that he ever was as their teacher.
He even managed to not lose it when some of the students messed up the simple spells and asked for him to assist but most of all, he finally acknowledged Harry.
It may have just been for the sake of work and to assist him but for the first time in months, Severus had actually looked at him and not sneered.
There were times during the lessons when Severus stood close to Harry while assisting him and Harry couldn't help but remember how it felt being wrapped in those strong arms and held close. He usually shook himself out of his thoughts quickly but he often thought that Severus knew exactly what he'd been thinking as the man would often take a step away or walk off to assist the others.
But nevertheless, progress was made and in a few weeks time, Harry had managed to master the shield leaving just the theory for him read through.
Xxx
By the time NEWTS had arrived, the final years could confirm that they were ready to get it over with and leave.
This was going to be the first time since the war ended that most of the students would actually be able to sit still and relax without the stress of school.
Harry still hadn't made his mind up but he didn't feel any need to make a hasty decision, he'd be happy to explore his options.
Hermione nudged Harry, "Harry, you're up next."
They were standing outside the potions charms classroom for their first practical exam- all their theory exams had been completed and despite a few questions in potions and history of magic that had stunned Harry, he felt that he had done fairly well.
"Oh great, I hope I don't mess this up."
"You've got this mate," said Ron encouragingly.
Xxx
"I swear that I'm about to lose my mind. I'm either going to drink myself silly after this one or sleep for 24 hours straight!"
"Sure you're not gonna snog Luna silly instead," said Ron as he wiggled his eyebrows at Draco.
"Shut it you two," complained Harry.
"Potter, if you're not ready now, you're never going to be."
Hermione sighed, "Our last exam and then we're officially done with school…"
"Geez, don't sound so excited 'Mione…"
Xxx
Harry collapsed on his four poster bed and threw a pillow over his head.
"Don't smother yourself now when it's all over mate!"
"It's over… Bloody hell Ron, can you believe that?"
Ron collapsed on his own bed, "Brilliant I tell you… well until we get our results that is."
Harry turned his head to the side so that he could look at Ron, "Have you decided what you're doing after school?"
Ron sighed, "The plan was always to become an auror right?"
"Ron, about that-"
"It's alright mate, I know you're not too keen on it anymore."
"How did you know that?"
"Come on Harry, our circle might have changed a lot after the war but you're still my best mate and I can tell when something's changed."
"I'm sorry; I know that you were looking forward to it…"
Ron turned to face Harry and smiled, "Yeah, to tell the truth- the novelty has sort of wore off… It all just seems like unnecessary danger; the things we saw. When Hermione was-"
Harry stood up and walked over to Rons' bed, "I know mate, it's been difficult… you'd never want to voluntarily put yourself in danger again, and that's okay; I think I'm gonna look into something less life threatening as well."
"You decided then?"
"No," said Harry honestly, "I kinda stopped planning around last year… thought that we- I thought that things would be different."
"It's not total forgiveness but at least he decided to put aside everything and help you towards the end…"
Harry sighed, "He's a total jerk sometimes but that couldn't have been easy for him."
Ron stood up as well and patted Harrys' shoulder, "Enough depressing talk; let's go see if Seamus has any more of that firewhiskey he's always boasting about!"
Xxx
"You've got to be kidding me!" exclaimed Ron.
Hermione leaned over and placed a kiss on the corner of Rons' mouth, "I'm proud of you Ron; see what your hard work has given you!"
Ron blushed, "Ah well- you know…"
Harry clapped his best friend on the back on opened his report card to look at once again; Outstanding in everything except an 'A' in History of Magic and an 'E' in potions.
Harry really was proud of himself, things had been tough but he'd persevered and now he was sure that many doors would open up for him…
Draco turned to Harry, "Oh Potter, McGonagall wanted to see you."
"What? Have I done something wrong?"
"Do you suppose it's about- him?" asked Hermione.
Ron snorted, "McGonagall doesn't get involved in her students' love lives Hermione; she probably just wants to congratulate Harry or something."
Harry shrugged, "Might as well get it over with… wouldn't want to keep her waiting either."
Xxx
"Potter," said Draco, "you never did tell us what McGonagall wanted from you that day."
Harry sighed in exasperation, "For the last time Draco, I'm not speaking about it just yet and aren't you supposed to be in the Slytherin line?"
Draco rolled his eyes, "We're leaving after the graduation Potter, how much longer are you gonna leave it?"
Harry ignored Draco in favor of trying to get a glimpse of the head of the Slytherin line, "Hey, isn't that Professor Vector?"
Draco followed Harrys' gaze, "Wonder what she's doing here; Uncle Severus is supposed to be heading the line as our Head of House."
A dreadful feeling filled Harry, "Do you think that Severus is avoiding the ceremony because of us?"
Draco shook his head, "I can't believe that he'd do this… I mean it's only his house students that are graduating, his Godson among them if he even cares."
Harry placed a hand on Dracos' arm, "Sorry Draco, I guess he's even more hurt than we actually realized…"
"I thought that he'd forgiven me, at least that's what he implied when we last spoke."
Just then Hermione came up to them, "Well apparently Professor Snape is 'otherwise occupied and cannot attend this afternoon'".
"What do you think he's doing?" asked Harry.
"Who cares?" said Draco rather harshly before he turned and walked off to the Slytherin line.
Hermione sighed and fell into place in front of Harry without saying a word.
Harry looked around the Entrance hall and wished things were different… he'd probably not even get to see Severus before he left Hogwarts…
I hate it when I don't hear from him…
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A/N: I teared up while writing this chapter… I'm such a depressing person… :'(
