A/N: Crackfic, written for an anon of Tumblr who requested "a fic where somebody keeps pranking Genesis"
"Give me your keycard. Immediately."
Angeal was concerned. He had come to... encourage Zack to complete an overdue mission report, only to find Genesis Rhapsodos standing outside Zack's apartment in what could only be described as a fit of righteous indignation.
"What has Zack done now?"
"What hasn't he done?" Genesis seethed. He snatched the keycard from Angeal's hand. (Angeal had been granted access to Zack's apartment; Genesis had never seen a reason to ask for it.)
Genesis swiped the keycard and marched in like an oncoming storm.
"Zackary Fair."
Zack's head jerked up at the sudden, explosive entrance. The blond infantryman next to him jumped even more noticeably, turning very pale as he saw who had just entered the apartment.
"Heeey– Genesis?"
Genesis narrowed his eyes. "Do you think you're funny?"
Zack blinked. He took in Genesis' haughty, huffy expression and folded arms, irritation rolling off the redhead in waves. He glanced helplessly at Angeal. "What did I do?"
"I was hoping you could tell me," Angeal said mildly.
"You know very well what you've done, Fair. I can't imagine anyone else in this company who would have both the immaturity and the sheer audacity to play schoolboy pranks on me."
Zack tried to retain a look of innocence, but he couldn't help it. He snorted. "Whaaaat? No way! What pranks were these and why wasn't I invited?"
"Oh, so you're trying to say you didn't paste pictures of Heidigger over every single surface in my office? Or put cling film on the toilets on the SOLDIER floor?" Genesis' voice lowered into a hiss. "And that it wasn't you who put a whoopie cushion on my chair during a board meeting? How old are you, two? Whoopie cushions stopped being funny a decade ago."
Zack couldn't answer. He was in absolute hysterics by this point.
Genesis twitched, fingers tensing with the urge to either wring Zack's neck or cast a Firaga at him. Angeal feared he would have to step in to prevent a homicide, but, thankfully, Genesis just span on his heel and stalked out in absolute disgust.
Zack was too busy laughing to even notice.
Angeal sighed. It seemed he wouldn't going to get any sense out of Zack for a while either. He'd come back for the paperwork later.
"I apologise for disturbing your evening," Angeal said, catching the eye of Zack's infantry friend. The blond's face was completely red, ears and all, but his mouth kept twitching at the corners as though he was very much tempted to join Zack in his hilarity.
Angeal left them to it.
It took another five minutes for Zack to calm down, and even then he kept sniggering to himself at random intervals.
"Ohhh, Gaia. That's amazing," he finally wheezed. "At the board meeting, fuck." Another round of cackling. "Where do you even find a whoopie cushion nowadays though? I haven't seen those things in forever."
"There's a box of them on the bottom shelf right at the back of that fancy dress and joke shop under the plate in sector four," Cloud said.
Zack eyes lit up with unholy amusement. "Oh, really? You don't say." He paused. "Wait… how do you know that?"
Cloud was silent for a moment. Then, with a secretive, terrifying little grin, he drew the offending circle of deflated rubber out of his pocket.
"No. No way. You didn't."
"Did you know that there's a vent leading from the bathrooms on the 66th floor right into the conference room?" Cloud said innocently.
Zack promptly lost it again, and laughed until it hurt.
