Author's Note: I'm sooooo sorry I haven't updated in a couple of days, I'm so annoyed with myself. Life's been getting pretty hectic. Smut will come later in the bucketloads, promise, if you bear with me for some fluffy plot stuff for a chapter or two. I need to get it in there SOMEWHERE or I have no idea where this story is going! Thanks again for all the reviews, I'm hoping to reach 100 in the next couple of chapters! That would make me so happy.

Chapter 9: Sunshine

"Do you have any concept of how much I love you? How much I want you? Do you understand now?"

She nodded and kissed my lips. "Yes."

And then she pulled herself closer until her lips were at my ear. "I want to marry you."

-x-

I didn't really want to marry him. Though I tried as hard as I could to want it, I couldn't manage it. But right now, I was so consumed with love for him I would have said anything, done anything, just to make him happy; and I knew that making him happy is all I could ever want.

He froze and pulled back, his eyes suddenly boring into mine with such intensity that I stopped breathing. They were...sparkling; that was the only word that could come close to describing it.

"You mean that?" His voice was low and rough, and I could feel all the emotion behind his words.

"I want to marry you Edward." I looked him straight in the eye, never faltering. I wanted to do this for him; I wouldn't let him know that I was still uneasy inside.

He broke then. I could see it in his eyes. The careful wall he'd put up came crashing down, and he was glorious, dazzling. He looked almost god-like in his happiness. More than that - gods even, couldn't compare. He was kissing me, again and again, so hard I think he'd almost forgotten to be careful with me for a moment.

It was wonderful. Maybe marrying him wouldn't be so bad, if this was what I got in exchange. Edward, with his walls down; Edward, happy.

I had to remind him to let me breathe, pushing him gently at first, and then harder when he didn't seem to feel it. He pulled back and I gasped for air, knowing I needed it but wishing I didn't so I could kiss him forever.

That wasn't so far away though; my breaths were limited now. It would only be so long until I could kiss him for eternity, never stopping if I didn't want to. The thought of that warmed me slightly, and I began to think that this whole ridiculous marriage thing might be bearable after all; it meant Edward would change me, as soon as I wanted. Maybe it could even be...pleasant. Eventually.

He didn't let me go, he just kept kissing the my neck and my collarbone, his icy lips cold and hard and sending shivers of pleasure through me. Yes, maybe marriage would be alright. If this is what marriage meant.

I was tired, all of a sudden. I had been exhausted, but I'd gotten so...distracted, before, that I barely realised. Edward seemed to notice that I was struggling to keep my eyes open and pressed one final kiss to my forehead.

"Sleep." It sounded tempting.

Struggling to keep my eyes open I tried to protest, but it only took half a second for my exhaustion to win out over my desire to kiss Edward again. I snuggled into his chest, pleased at the thought that we had all day together tomorrow, and Sunday too...

It didn't take long for sleep to find me then.

-

It was dark when I woke. At first I thought that it was still night-time, and that I had for some reason woken up. I sat up, bewildered, fumbling about in the darkness for the lamp - when all of a sudden sunlight was streaming in through the window, momentarily blinding me. I briefly saw Edward glittering and grinning at me, before I had to close my eyes against the light.

"Good morning!"

Ugh. I fell back on the bed groggily and Edward was suddenly beside me, leaving the curtains still swinging by the window. Cautiously this time, I opened my eyes, letting them adjust to the light gradually. It wasn't even that sunny; I just didn't realise that Edward's thick, heavy curtains had blocked that much light. It had been pitch black.

I looked over at Edward, head propped up on one hand, lying beside me. He was still smiling so dazzlingly I almost had to look away; like some little kid who'd just been given candy. What was he so happy about? It was too early in the morning. Then again, time didn't mean all that much to him. And then I realised. Me - I was the candy. It made me smile to think that I could make him this happy, this excited.

"Morning." I said finally, yawning. I could slowly feel myself start to wake up; my limbs sluggishly stirring and the heaviness sitting on my eyelids starting to fade. He ducked his lips beneath my chin and started kissing my neck in earnest again. I wrapped my arms around him and sighed, revelling in the sensation. He looked up at me then and kissed my chin, still grinning through all of this.

"My beautiful fiancée."

I had to stop myself wincing at the word...I was engaged now. But I saw how much his face lit up when he said that. His arms tightened around me and he rested his cheek against mine, eyes closed in bliss. It was too happy a moment for him to think about myself and my stupid fear. I had sworn I wouldn't spoil this for him - and I wouldn't. I smiled and turned to kiss his cheek before wriggling out from underneath him. He looked at me questioningly, slightly hurt, and I just wanted to lie back down on the bed and lose myself in him.

"I need a human moment." I explained and ducked into the bathroom.

My hair was a mess. The eyeliner that Alice has applied so perfectly last night was in dark rings under my eyes. I almost laughed - I really looked like a vampire now. But more like one of the ones from all those gothic horror stories, with the black eyes and scary hair. I smiled at what Edward had said - 'my beautiful fiancée'. I looked anything but beautiful now.

I stripped my clothes off and jumped into the shower, the hot water soothing. The water turned black in my hands as I scrubbed at my eyes, and I kept washing them until the water ran clear and I thought I must have gotten it all off. I reached for the shampoo bottle when all of a sudden a hand shot out from behind me and closed around it.

I spun around, stunned, and saw Edward in his boxers, climbing into the shower with me. He laughed at my expression, his eyes twinkling and unashamedly raking over my body. I didn't feel the need to blush this time for some reason.

"You know I hate it when you leave me alone."

He bent and kissed me, the hot water momentarily making his lips feel warm. They pushed smoothly against mine, but it was a chaste kiss and he pulled back. I felt a little noise of disspointment escape my throat and he just smiled.

He poured some shampoo on his hand and then put the bottle back on the shelf, and I watched him, still confused. What was Edward doing in the shower with me? In his boxers? Not that I minded. I felt his hand, the one that didn't have shampoo in it, grip my hip firmly and tug me around and I stood with my back to him, still confused, until I felt his hand in my hair.

God, that felt nice. His strong hands massaged the shampoo into my scalp, occasionally stroking my shoulder or my cheek, never letting the soap run into my eyes. I leaned my back against him and he slipped one arm around my stomach, holding me to him, as he continued to run his fingers through my hair with the other hand.

I just relaxed into the sensation for a few moments, warm and content. I thought about this morning, when Edward had opened the curtains so suddenly and I caught that quick glimpse of him. That was suddenly my favourite memory of him - standing by the window, shimmering in the morning light, smiling at me, his eyes filled with so much love and adoration. He seemed to...glow. Like my own personal sun. I remembered with a pang that I had once thought of Jacob that way, as my sun - lighting up my empty existence when Edward left.

But this wasn't like that. Edward was my sun in that I couldn't live without him; I would die without him. He not only lit up my life, I could have no life without him. Jacob had made everything brighter, for a time, but Edward...he set everything about me on fire. When I was with him I felt alive in ways I didn't know I could before.

Gently he turned me around so that my hair was in the stream of water coming from the showerhead, and started to wash the shampoo out. He kissed my while he did this, his body pressed close to mine as we stood wrapped around each other in the shower - my hands around his neck, his hands in my hair.

Though his lips were as cold as ever against mine, I felt a warmth radiate from them. Or maybe it was just me, but there was this heat that seemed to spread from my lips, where he was kissing me, to every inch of my body. To my arms, which held his neck; to my stomach, pressed against his; to my hair, which he was still gently washing.

He was dazzling me again - my personal sunshine.

Ok, please review! Even though I know I have been very bad and not updated in a couple of days. And I want your opinions - continue with shower scene or move on to the visiting vampires? ( :D lovely alliteration there. Try saying it tons of times, doesn't quite flow off the tongue does it?). Please let me know! I will write whatever most of you want.