The drive home didn't take long, since it was an odd time to drive, and Serena found herself wondering what would happen when they were in her home. Bernie didn't say much the entire time, and the silence hurt a little, since Serena knew that she was most likely the cause of most of Bernie's heartache. Pulling into the garage, she turned the car off and then turned to the woman, staring at her, wishing she would say something.
"We're here," she finally ended up saying, watching Bernie carefully.
She turned her head to look at Serena, and the well of emotion in her eyes near broke Serena's heart. "We're home?"
"Oh, yes, if that's what you want."
Bernie gave a small nod before leaning in and hugging Serena tightly. It was a shock to her system, receiving that tender, loving, gesture, since she hadn't thought that she would be so easily welcomed back into Bernie's good graces, not after the way she had treated her.
Slipping from the car, she waited for Bernie, holding out her hand expectantly. It took the woman only thirty seconds to join her, and Serena held tightly to her hand as they entered the house. Jason was in the kitchen, making a cup of tea, when they came in, and he gave them a wide smile. "Doctor Bernie! It's so good to see you here."
"It's good to be home." The words were low, even for Bernie, and Jason somehow managed to pick up on the tone in her voice as he nodded and finished pouring before heading out of the room.
"Would you like coffee or Shiraz?"
"It's early still, let's go for coffee, Fraulein."
She nodded, smiling at the woman as she rummaged around in the cupboard for her stash of good coffee. Finally, her hands touched the container of Alta Rica, and she smiled before pulling it out and starting it brewing. "This is the high intensity stuff, what I usually drink when I'm exhausted after a long day and night. We might be up until late into the night."
"That's fine, it will give us time to talk."
Serena looked at Bernie, giving her a soft smile before walking to her side and guiding her to a chair and making her sit. Then she draped herself over Bernie's shoulders, letting her chin come to rest on the top of Bernie's head. The only sound in the room was the dripping of the coffee, and it relaxed her immensely. Breathing in deeply, she let her hands run up and down Bernie's arms and tried to allow their breaths to sync up.
It took until the coffee had just finished dripping for her to feel like she wanted to break the silence. "I'm sorry," she started, hearing Bernie echo her words a millisecond later. "No, Bernie, I am so very sorry for my behavior these last few weeks. You came home to us, and I should have treated you with the kindness and respect you deserved from the moment you stepped back onto the ward. Instead, I couldn't find the words to say, and then everything seemed to go to Hell so fast. I'm so, so, so, sorry."
"Serena," Bernie breathed out, reaching up her hands to clasp hers, tugging her around to the table and making her sit. She did so, focusing her attention on Bernie's face, knowing that she was about to say something very important. "I could have talked to you more, too. I didn't exactly give you a reason to want to be kind. And I will have to live with that."
"I rather think you were giving me space, to figure out who I am. I did, but at a very heavy cost. There, there's something you need to know before we go anywhere with our relationship, such as it is." Serena took a deep breath as she tightened her hold on Bernie's hands, wondering how she could tell the woman she loved that she had been unfaithful. Bowing her head, she worried her lip between her teeth and let out a small squeak of surprise when the woman pulled her into her lap.
"Tell me what's eating at your heart."
"I slept with Robbie." The words were soft, barely above a whisper, but she felt like they were louder than a sonic boom. Bernie's face twisted up into confusion, and Serena retreated even further into her protective shell, knowing that she had just destroyed any hope of reconciliation between them. Suddenly, she felt the urge to run, to escape, and she wondered if that was what Bernie had felt when she had been so desperate to have her stay. She made the first motions to get up, but Bernie closed her arms around her waist and held her in place. "Let me go, please."
"No." Serena closed her eyes and tried to stop the tears that were threatening to course down her cheeks. "Serena, look at me." She shook her head, pursing her lips tightly. "Don't make me beg."
She raised her eyes to look at Bernie, her chin still tucked protectively into her chest. "What?" she whispered.
"I told you to find out who you were. I didn't expect you to play the chaste virgin in my absence, and I'm not going to judge you for sleeping with him. Is he, is he what you want?"
"No."
"Then what do you want?"
"You." She couldn't stop the word from escaping her lips, her heart, and she looked down once more, not wanting see the rejection on Bernie's face. A tiny sigh left her lips when Bernie cupped her chin and gently forced her head up so that she had to look at her. "Bernie?"
"I'm glad that you know what you want now. Because I know what I want."
"You do?"
"Yes. I want you." For a moment, the sorrow in Bernie's eyes lifted, and Serena let a tremulous smile spread across her face as she reached up and stroked Bernie's hair gently. It was the first thing she could think of doing, the first intimate act that she had longed to do for so long. "You choose to pet me?"
"You're the only lioness that I'll ever be close enough to, to pet. Allow me the indulgence?"
"You know that I could never refuse you anything, not when you ask that sweetly."
She nodded before biting her lip once more. "Bernie?"
"Yes, Serena?"
"Would it be too forward of me to askā¦" She never got around to finishing her question, as Bernie leaned in and pressed her lips softly against Serena's. This third kiss between them felt so sweet, so right, so much like home, that she couldn't help but let her arms encircle Bernie's neck, holding her close as the kiss lingered on. They didn't move to take thing to another level, or try to feel each other up, and for that Serena was grateful.
Finally, though, the kiss had to end, and she pulled her lips away so that she could rest her forehead against Bernie's, her eyes closed as she focused on the feel of the woman's breath washing across her face. "I'm home," Bernie murmured before humming lowly, wrapping Serena in another warm embrace.
