*Chapter 17*: The Old Acq and The Complications
Some of my readers want Bella to accept Edward's proposal, others just want Bella doesn't overreacting with Edward's past...well, that was the part of the drama
Thank you for all the reviews, favorites and alerts and special thank you to my beta, chovypappy, for beta'ing the chapter.
This is chapter 17
[Previously]
"We're never in terms of good friends. You were hovering me because you think you could keep me as your lovely companion..."
Edward's face was hard when he said the woman's name. "Tanya."
So, her name is Tanya.
Chapter 17
The Old Acquaintance and The Complications
Tanya smiled timidly and cast a glance at me. "And this must be Bella." "Yes," Edward answered for me.
I'm still standing silently. I didn't know how to react this time. I could feel they had a unique relationship, more like a love and hate thing. Edward seemed to think Tanya as just his old...acquaintance while Tanya still had hope she could win Edward's heart. I shuddered mentally.
"It's so wonderful to see you here, Edward. I was looking for you last year, but you didn't attend the gala. I missed you," Tanya said sweetly. It made my body shiver.
"Will you excuse us, Tanya?" Edward tugged my waist tenderly and I followed him in a daze.
We walked out from the huge building and to the corner. I still didn't say anything. Tanya's smile replayed over and over in my mind. Somehow I felt my life was going to be much harder the next day.
"Bella, are you alright?" Edward asked me worriedly. "I'm sorry. I didn't know that she'll be here." He sighed exasperatedly.
I didn't answer him. A strange feeling crept into my chest. I didn't like the way she looked at Edward, I didn't like the way she acted like she was Edward's former lover and mostly I didn't like the fact she has feelings for Edward. I didn't understand this emotion. Some mix of anger and a little bit possessiveness.
I blinked several times when I realized what those feelings are. I was jealous.
"Bella?"
I turned to look at him. He looked at me with a pained expression. Suddenly I felt anger surged to my body. I narrowed my eyes. "Is that why you were acting strange all day? You knew she was going to come here, didn't you?"
"What?" Edward asked me in a shock.
"Just tell me the truth, Edward." Somehow it was funny to see the table was turned. He once yelled at me because of Riley and now I yelled at him because of Tanya. "Naive I may be, but I am not stupid," I spat at him.
Edward's jaw clenched and his eyes turned dark. In normal situation I should be scared, but now, I was angry too. "I didn't lie to you, Bella. I was acting strange because I wanted to ask you something, but she interrupted me. I don't know she's going to be here."
My face was hard now. "Why is she here anyway? What is it with her and the hospital?"
He sighed. "I must admit I forgot to consider that part. Tanya's father runs a medical company in Alaska. Her father's company must have a business relationship with this hospital."
"She knows you're here, Edward. She won't stop until she could get you. Can you see that?" I stated a matter of fact and it made me worry too.
"I know, Bella," He shouted at me. Silence.
I could only hear our hard breathing.
He pinched the bridge of his nose. "I was so stupid. I shouldn't have brought you here. We weren't supposed to be here. I'm sorry."
My shoulders slumped. "We can't turn back time, Edward. We just have to deal with it."
He took a step closer and hugged me. I didn't return his hug for a moment before I gingerly raised my arms and hugged his waist. He sighed when he felt I returned his hug. He kissed my hair.
"I know that too, Bella. But, please remember something. I love you and not even Tanya can replace you." I knew that, but I also knew that simple fact won't stop Tanya.
After our small 'talk', we walked back inside the building and Edward spoke with the hospital's head. From the corner of my eyes, I could see Tanya was eyeing the both of us. Edward didn't let me go until the valet brought his Aston Martin and now here we are...on our way home.
I stared blankly at the road, trying to digest the previous event. I've never seen Edward act like that before, even if that someone annoyed the hell out of him. It seemed there was something about him and Tanya. I didn't dare to ask him, though; this was not the right time. I swallowed back my tears. Why must everything come to this? First, it's Riley and now, Tanya. I could deal with Riley, because I didn't like him at all and we barely knew each other. But, Tanya was different. She was there when Edward went through his elementary and junior high time; the time when we were separated. Surely, she knew a lot about Edward more than I did. We were just getting to know each other again and it was nothing to compare the times they spent together in Alaska. I fisted my fingers in my gown unconsciously when I experienced the familiar jealousy surged to my body again.
I felt the car pulled into a stop and I realized that we were already in our apartment garage. Edward shut off the engine, but neither of us attempted to move from our spot. We stood there in silence for a moment before I unlocked the door and got out from the car. I slammed the door shut and walked to our room. I didn't turn back, but I could hear another door was slammed shut and I instantly knew Edward was doing the same. I unlocked our apartment door and flipped the light on. I walked straight to my room and closed the door behind me. I changed my clothes and brushed my teeth. Edward was already in his room when I returned to mine. I glanced swiftly to his closed door and smiled slightly. Perhaps he wanted to be alone tonight. I sighed sadly and got in into my room. I curled up in my bed and finally I let out the sob I was holding.
God must hate me right now.
God must be punishing me for ignoring Edward previously. He was trying to prove himself to me, but I stubbornly denied it. And now, when I've realized I love him, someone from his past stood in front of us.
Pathetic.
I was busy letting out my frustration and didn't realize my bed was shifting slightly. Suddenly I felt a strong arm wrap around my waist and I gasped in surprise. I turned around slowly to see Edward looking at me in a worried and pained expression. He already removed his black suit, but still wearing the white shirt and the trousers. His hair was messy; perhaps he ran his hands several times through it. I choked back a sob before I buried my face to his chest. He enveloped me on a hug and kissed my hair. We didn't say anything, just held each other all night.
I woke up in Sunday morning at 07:30 am. Edward was staying in my room and he was still asleep when I glanced at my BlackBerry screen. He didn't change his clothes last night, so he fell asleep with his shirt and his trousers. He looked so peaceful although his shirt was already wrinkled and not in a good shape anymore. I loosened myself from his arm and he just shifted slightly before returning to his deep slumber. I got up from my bed and took a quick shower. I changed my clothes and got out to the kitchen to make some breakfast.
I glanced at my room on my way to the kitchen and found him still asleep. I smiled slightly and started to make a breakfast. A sound of a vibrating phone startled me. I furrowed my eyebrows and looked around the kitchen to find the phone. My sight landed on the dining table. That was Edward's phone. The light from the screen indicated he had a text message. I watched the phone intently until the light was dead. I didn't want to interfere with his private life, but somehow I felt that I needed to read the text message. I took the phone with shaking hands and pressed the button. A text message from a random number. I swallowed hard and pressed the open button to read the message.
Morning, my dear Edward. I hope you're already awake this morning. How about we take a walk at the park? It's been so long since the last time I saw you before you moved from Alaska. I missed you terribly. -Tanya-
I nearly dropped the phone. My breath caught in my throat. My whole body was trembling and I tossed the phone back to the dining table. It landed with a thud. I clutched the edge of the table with shaking hands. I was starting to hyperventilate. What happened? Is this what they do back in Alaska? How close are they? How come he never told me about this? And how did she find out Edward's number?
I could answer the last question.
It was easy, though, she could tell Edward's colleagues that she was his old friend or old...acquaintance.
I could feel all the air left my lungs. My legs wobbled and I slumped on the floor. I rested my head on one of table's feet and closed my eyes.
Edward told me there was nothing between him and Tanya. I trusted him. But, somehow I felt he isn't completely honest with me either. What should I do? Everything was perfect before she came along. I wanted to talk with him about my transfer, but how could I speak with him in this situation?
God, I really hate this situation. I needed to get out from here.
I opened my eyes and stood on my feet. I stormed to my room and grabbed my laptop along with my purse and my jacket. I glanced briefly to Edward who still sleeping peacefully in my bed. I took a deep breath and got out from my room.
I rode my old truck to a coffee shop in town. I didn't tell Edward about this place and I was praying he didn't find me here. The smell of coffee and the change of scenery calmed my erratic mood. I turned on the laptop and fiddling around on the internet. I idly searched information about my company's offices in England and New York. My eyes widened when I saw the pictures. They had a big building in each place with a conference hall and studio. I was considering myself to accept Mr. Banner's offer before I remembered Tanya. I frowned. How could I leave Edward here to deal with her? God knew what she will do to him while I'm gone. But, is it worth it if I pass this opportunity so I could keep Edward with me? What if he changed his mind someday? What is left for me then?
Oh, come on, Bella. He loves you; he won't do that to you. Yeah, but, people change.
I sighed and covered my face with my hands. What should I do now? How I must bring this conversation to Edward? I sighed and took a sip from my crème latte cup. Suddenly, I've got a message from my Skype account that I had an invitation to chat from someone. I remembered Garrett was the one who set the Skype system to my laptop when he visited me after my arrival from the hospital. I never used it until now. I furrowed my eyebrows and clicked the link to find out who was the one to invite me. I was hoping it was not Riley. I couldn't stand it now.
A box popped up in my screen and a face that was so familiar to me appeared in the box. "Bella!"
I laughed when I saw Alice. It looked like she was in her apartment because I could see the interior of her studio. I recognized her studio from the pictures she sent to me when I started my job in Seattle.
"Hi, Alice." I didn't realize I missed her so much.
"How are you?" Her voice doesn't seem to affect other guests at the cafe. They were all busy with their own world. I breathed a sigh of relief.
I smiled grimly. "I'm fine. Wow, you're already awake. It's Sunday."
She laughed. "I just had a lot of work to do and decided to take a break and then I saw you're online. I didn't know you have a Skype."
"Yeah, Garrett, my neighbor, installed it for me on my laptop as a welcoming present after my arrival from the hospital."
"I see," She said and she looked at me thoughtfully. "Where are you, Bella? You're not in your room? It looks like you're in a cafe or something. Are you there with Edward?"
I sighed and rubbed my temples. "No. I'm alone."
Alice sensed the change in my expression and she looked at me with her blue eyes. "Bella, is there something wrong?" I leaned my back to my chair and chuckled darkly. "Lots of things are going wrong, Alice. I'm confused."
She furrowed her eyebrows. "Do you want to talk about that? Or would you rather chat with me not from Skype?" I chewed my bottom lip. "Not from Skype."
Alice nodded. "Okay, then."
I nodded back and disconnected the connection. I opened my MSN account and seconds later Alice buzzed me. I told her about my impending transfer, my developed feelings for Edward, and our decisions for the future and mostly about Tanya.
pixie-girl: Did you talk to Edward after what happened yesterday? blushing_klutz: No, not yet.
pixie-girl: Why?
blushing_klutz: *pout* He seems to be not in the mood to talk.
pixie-girl: *rolling her eyes* And what about you? Are you in the mood to talk?
I paused a moment and bit my lip. I should have known myself better. I was the one who didn't want to talk about that. It was because I was afraid everything will be different after I told him I love him. Will he change? Will he still care for me and still become the loving person? Will he still want me over Tanya? I shuddered when I remembered Edward almost proposed to me last night.
pixie-girl: He loves you, Bella. Remember what I've told you that he'll jump off a cliff if you asked him to?
I laughed lightly.
blushing_klutz: Yeah, I remember.
pixie-girl: I think this is the time you test my theory *wink* And trust me, everything will be fine if you talk to him and listen to him. Remember, I can see *tapping her temple*
I laughed again.
blushing_klutz: Thank you, Alice. So, how's Jasper?
We continued to chat after that. I momentarily forgot about my complications and enjoyed my time with Alice. She told me about her job and how her boss is going to promote her soon. I was happy for her. Alice has high senses in fashion and a gift of premonition, although it was rarely happened. The one thing I remember was when she told me I'll be accepted in my current office. I was thrilled when I received the phone call informed me they'll hire me. I didn't know it was my luck or because Alice was always right. When I told Alice about that, she just laughed and said, "Never bet against Alice."
Right.
I didn't realize it was already pass lunch when Alice bid me goodbye. I glanced at my BlackBerry and I saw I have 10 missed calls, 3 text messages and 1 voice mail. I had a feeling it was all from Edward. I didn't hear the calls or the notifications because I turned off the vibrate mode. My heart did a little flip and I took a deep breath. I could imagine what kind of berserk mode Edward was now. I checked my BlackBerry and I guessed right. It was all from Edward. I deleted the missed calls and opened the text messages.
09:00
Bella, where are you? 10:30
Love, please, I'm so worried. Please, tell me where you are and I'll be there. 12:00
Bella, please, come home.
The last message really broke my heart. I sighed and begun to open the voice mail. A velvety voice was heard from my phone and my heart turned to the erratic mode again.
"Bella, where are you? Please, answer your phone. Is it about Tanya, isn't it? I swear to you there is nothing between us. I didn't knowhowshe got my number. Please, love, we can talk about this, alright? Just come home, please. I'vecalled sick to the hospital. I don't want to leave you alone in our apartment with this problem. Please, come home. I'm waiting."
And the message was over.
I stared blankly for a moment to my laptop screen. I sighed and tossed my phone back to my purse. I called the waiter and I ordered sandwich for my lunch. I tapped my fingers on the table and suddenly an inspiration struck me. I opened the office application and begun to type my inspiration. I was so caught up with my world that I didn't realize my sandwich already arrived and almost cold. I ate my sandwich and continued to type. When I've finished, I got four chapters. I blinked
several times. Wow, I've just typed a story. I chuckled internally.
I glanced to the window and surprised to see it was already twilight. I sighed and turned off my laptop. I gathered my things and paid the bill. I drove back to my apartment, wondering all the way there how to talk with Edward about this. I saw the silver Volvo in the apartment garage and took deep breaths. Okay, let's get this over with.
I got out from my truck and carried my laptop with me. My heartbeat increased when I stood in front of my apartment door. What will I say to him? What will I do next? I closed my eyes briefly and opened it before I opened the door. I saw Edward pacing in the living room with his cell phone in his ear. His expression seemed tense and for the moment I felt guilty for making him so worried. But, then I heard he said something that made me regret my decision to come home.
"No, Tanya. I love her alright. Why can't you see that? And no, it's not because you are not perfect. You are perfect, but Bella is different. She's everything to me. Leave us alone!"
He ended the conversation while I was standing there in a daze. What did he mean by that?
Edward sensed my presence and turned his head into my direction. He seemed relieved when he saw me, but then he realized something when he saw my expression.
I could see he swallowed hard. "How much did you hear?"
I stared a moment at him before I shrugged. I was acting casual while my heart hurt inside. I was getting better in covering my feelings. "That's enough to know that Tanya is perfect," I answered icily.
I began to walk to my room when Edward stopped me. "Wait, Bella, please. Let me explain."
I sighed and looked at him. "There's nothing to explain, Edward." I started to walk again, but Edward kept me in my place. "Damn it, Bella. Let me explain," He said sternly.
I closed my eyes and opened it again only to look at the floor. Silence.
He said he wanted to explain? Let's hear it!
I lifted my face and turned to look at him. "You have fifteen minutes," I said in a flat voice. He smiled grimly. "Alright. I can take that."
I nodded slowly and walked to the living room. Edward followed me and we both sat in the couch. I put my laptop bag on the table and folded my arms over my chest.
I stared at him. "Fourteen minutes."
Edward sighed. "I met Tanya in Alaska. We were enrolled in the same school. Our fathers were good friends and they had an intention...to...pair us together," Edward said slowly. His eyes were worried.
I took a quick breath. My body went five degrees colder. I could feel my heart beating erratically again. I clenched my jaw. "Would you care to explain about that?"
He smiled softly. "I've told you before that my parents thought my love for you was just a crush and they hoped I could find real love with Tanya. My dad began to ask me to go to some occasions with her. But, I never liked her. I was beginning to get suspicious about my dad's intentions and I confronted him one night. My dad confessed and I was angry. Very, very angry. I didn't talk with my parents for weeks. They should have known better. They knew I love you and I've always love you. I was angry with them not because they misunderstood my feelings, but also they put an empty hope for Tanya. I hate to think that Tanya assumed that I like her."
He paused.
I stared at him while trying to control my breathing. Okay, so Carlisle and Esme agreed to Edward and Tanya. If that's so, why did they have to act nicely in front of me? Was it because they really accepted me already or because they didn't want to hurt Edward's feelings? My world started to spin. I hung my head in my hands to stop the spinning. It seemed childish, but I felt violated. Literally.
"And then as I was afraid, Tanya said she likes me, but I told her that I've already love someone. My revelation set our fathers apart. I felt bad about that, but I can't lie to my heart. I love you, Bella."
Somehow I prayed I've never met Edward.
I didn't know if I had to cry or laugh or sighed in relief.
I just sat there with my head in my hands.
"Believe me, love. I didn't like what happened yesterday either. I just want to ask you an important question, but then everything changed so fast."
I stared blankly at the couch in front of me. I closed my eyes.
I wished I could just disappear from here. "Bella, please say something," He whispered.
I took several deep breaths and open my eyes. I still didn't remove my gaze from the couch. "Everything was a lie?" "Lie? What are you talking about, Bella?"
I fisted my hair in my hands. Anger, disappointment and betrayal coursed to my body. It was all useless. All their kindness, even Carlisle's words to me when he visited me in the hospital, only deepened the wound. My eyes stung. How could I be so stupid? And now, I fell in love with him. I've been trapped in this web for far too long. A tear escaped from my eyes and Edward must have seen it. He reached out to wipe my tear, but I swatted his hand.
"Don't touch me!" I spat with a shaky voice. "Bella-"
"Just leave me alone," I said sternly and rose from the couch. I wiped my tears hastily. I turned around to escape to my room, but Edward was faster. He blocked my way.
"We're not done yet." "Yes, we are."
"I will not leaving you crying like that!" "Well, it's too late for that."
"Bella!"
I swallowed my sobs and narrowed my eyes at him. "So, everything was a lie, right? Why don't you explain to me about all your parents' kindness to me? Do they really love me or simply because they don't want to hurt your feelings?"
Edward's eyes widened in shock. "Of course they love you. Why did you think otherwise?" "They want you to be with her, Edward. Damn it!"
"That was because they didn't believe my feelings for you, Bella." "And they believe you now?"
He scoffed. "After seeing how miserable I was in Alaska, witnessing how I begged my dad to come back to Forks every chance that I've got, experiencing how hard I learned to be a good man for you, well, they have to believe that."
"What about Tanya's dad and Carlisle?"
"They have a strain relationship first after I rejected Tanya, but then Tanya's dad realized he can't force me to love his daughter. He finally knew I was in love with someone else and it still does."
I frowned. "But, Tanya didn't accept that." He shrugged. "That's her problem."
"I thought you can read other people's thoughts. Why can't you read your dad's about his intention with you and Tanya?" I asked again.
He sighed. "He lived long enough with me to play with his thoughts. I was just doing good deeds for him at that time, to be friends with Tanya. I didn't love her, Bella."
I scoffed. "I can imagine you'll say that if you don't move back to Forks at high school."
He chuckled darkly. "Believe me, love. I had every intention to move back to Forks, even without my parents' permission. Besides, I was planning to move in with Charlie at that time."
My eyes widened. "You what?" Did he really mean that?
He shrugged as it was not a big deal. "I had a plan to move back to Forks or wherever you are if my dad still remained in Alaska. When I turn eighteen, I can make my own decisions."
I shook my head. I couldn't believe I was engaged with a madman. "You're insane." "No, I'm not," He said softly.
He took several steps closer to me, trapping me between the walls and his body. My breathing was getting shallow. The familiar warmth surged into my core.
"I know what I want and I think I've already said that to you, love." He placed both of his hands on either side of my head, keeping me still in my place.
He was such a cheater.
"I want you and not even my dad can stop me."
I gulped and tried to process everything he said to me. He said he will do anything to follow me around. A realization struck me again. Did he work here to...follow me?
Edward still trapped me against the wall and I looked at his green eyes. "Did you work here to...follow me?" I asked in whisper.
He smiled coyly and stroked my hair with one of his hands. I almost closed my eyes for the effect, but I forced myself to look at him.
"Yes."
His answer confirmed everything. Again, it was romantic and scary at the same time. My face softened and I looked at him pleadingly. "But, what about you?"
Edward looked at me in amusement. "What about me?"
I knew he always wanted to make me happy, but what about his happiness? "What about the...things...that makes you happy?"
He chuckled again and rested his forehead against mine. He cupped both my face with his hands. "You make me happy."
"Really?" I asked softly. It was nearly impossible when I saw Tanya yesterday. She was beautiful and I couldn't understand why he still chose me. "Because Tanya is beautiful," I said in low voice.
Edward took a deep breath. "Why don't you see yourself clearly, Bella? You have no idea how many times I want to strangle all the men who undresses you with their stares." He pursued his lips. "Or should I mention that little Edward who always gives you flowers? I bet he'll wait until he's old enough to marry you if you don't tell him you're already engaged to me."
I rolled my eyes.
He smiled again. "And it will make me very happy if you want to answer my impending question."
Before I could gather my senses, Edward stared at me deeply with his beautiful eyes and said the words. "Isabella Marie Swan, marry me."
Yes? No? Review, please :)
MTV Movie Awards 2010 is tonight, hopefully New Moon won all the categories ^^
*Chapter 18*: The Discussion and The Epiphany
My beta is back, so I re-posted the chapter ^^
Thank you for all of my readers for you reviews, favorites and alerts. And yes, I saw MMA last Sunday especially when Robert stole a kiss from Kristen. LOL.
This is chapter 18.
[Previously]
He smiled again. "And it will make me a very happy man if you want to answer my impending question." Before I could gather my senses, Edward stared at me deeply with his beautiful eyes and said the words. "Isabella Marie Swan, marry me."
Chapter 18
The Discussion and The Epiphany
For a moment, I didn't know what happened to my body. I couldn't breathe and I also stopped blinking. Edward still stared at me, waiting patiently for my reply.
Marry.
Marry Edward, as in marriage?
Edward and I living together, being husband and wife?
Some images from my childhood when my parents got divorced and marriage lives from sitcoms or dramas I've been watched flash through my mind. I mean, can I spend the rest of my life with him? With a man who turned my teenage years up and down? With a man who proposed to me when we were six? With a man who I just fallen in love with? With a man with undeniable sex appeal?
Slowly, I could gather all my coherent thoughts. I was starting to breathe again. He didn't say anything; he was just staring at me. He knew me too well.
"M-marry?" I managed to squeak out. It was more like I managed to choke out. "Yes."
"You and me...?"
It looks like Edward was trying so hard not to laugh. "Yes."
"But...but...shouldn't we talk about it first? Like where are we going to live? What about our jobs?" I shuddered slightly remembering my transfer, hoping he didn't notice that. "And what about our future plans? Children?" I continued to ramble.
Edward narrowed his eyes slightly. "We can talk about that right now. I have plenty of time."
I gulped. "What if...what if...I said…no?" I blurted out. It was more like a test for me. I wanted to know what he will do if I said no.
Edward stared at me intently and I was sure my knees were going weaker. "Will you say no?" He asked me.
I swallowed hard. Apparently it was not a good idea.
"I don't know," I answered weakly. I guessed he'll wait an eternity until I agreed to marry him. He smiled coyly and leaned closer. "And why is that?"
Our closeness slowly, but surely, clouded my thoughts. He was really a cheater. Edward leaned down and skimmed my forehead, my eyelids, and my cheek, down to my jaw with his nose. His scent weakens my defense and I almost squirmed from the contact.
"Because...we just knew each other all over again...and...I mean...can we wait?" I hopelessly asked the question. I could feel he smiled against my skin.
"I known you all my life, Bella, and I don't think I can wait for another year. If we were already married, I'll take you right now." He said seductively
I gasped and unconsciously wrapped myself with my arms.
Edward leaned back and although his eyes glinted mischievously, I could see deep from the inside he'll never do things like that until we were married...if we are married.
"And what makes you think I will say yes?" I managed to ask in coherently this time. His eyes glinted again and a smirk appeared on his face. "You will. I can make you." A shiver ran through my spine. I really am engaged to a madman.
I took a deep breath. I really think this is the best time to talk with him about...everything. I looked into his eyes and said, "Can we talk?"
Edward smiled slightly and took several steps back, releasing me from his trap.
I was nervously playing with the hem of my shirt as I walked back to the living room. I sat down on the couch and Edward did the same thing.
I exhaled and raised my head to look at him. "So, you...proposed to me?" He nodded slowly and chuckled. "Yes."
"It's not because Tanya is it? It's not because you need to escape from her, right?"
He rolled his eyes. "Bella, I had a plan to propose to you at the gala. Even if Tanya wasn't there, I'll still propose to you." I rubbed my temples. "It's just...I just feel she's different. She could do anything to have you, even if you don't want her." He looked at me slightly amused. "You can read people's minds too?"
I chuckled lightly. "I'm a girl, Edward. I can feel those things."
Edward sighed and leaned his head on the couch. He stared at the ceiling. "She said that I don't have to love her; she could just be a good companion for me. But, spending your whole life with that kind of relationship will kill you from the inside. She might be able to do that, but I can't. I want to loveand to be loved back."
Silence.
I blinked several times. I never saw this side of Edward before. I used to see him as a strong and independent man, always the one who makes the decisions, but never the softer one. And I must admit that I kind of love this side of Edward.
"Does she know about us? I mean about our...engagement?" My voice was barely a whisper now. He shook his head, still looking at the ceiling. "No."
I took deep breaths. Some images of my conversation with Alice flashed in my mind. I want to tell him about my transfer and I guess this was the right time.
"Mr. Banner offered me the position in England," I blurted out. I bit my lip.
Edward turned his head and looked at me. We stared at each other for a brief second.
"And what was your answer?" He asked slowly.
I furrowed my eyebrows. His expressions were a mix with shock and also…worry? Does he want me to stay? I'll be glad to if he says so and I didn't have to go to England. But, seconds later I realized it was because some other reason.
"I didn't answer him yet," I said to him with a wonder expression. "Do you have any other plans in your mind?" I asked curiously.
He fidgeted in his seat and seemed nervous. He swallowed hard. "I...uh...the hospital offered me a scholarship for...uh...my...pediatric degree." His voice was faltered in the end.
I gasped. "Edward! That's wonderful!" Without thinking, I jumped from where I was sitting and hugged him.
He chuckled and he hugged me back. I laughed happily and leaned back to look at him. "Your dream is coming true."
He smiled and rested his forehead to mine. "I know. Thank you for staying with me all along, Bella. You are my strength." I smiled back and caressed his cheek. "Did you accept the offer?"
He sighed. "Not yet." I frowned. "Why?"
He looked at me with a sad expression. "If you decided to go to England, I'll move with you."
My eyes widened. "What?" I became frantic. "No, Edward! You can't do that. That's your dream. I can't risk it for you." "Bella, please, listen to me," He soothed my stiff body by cupping my face in his hands.
I stayed still.
"This scholarship...I can get it in England too. With a good recommendation, I can ask for it there. You don't have to be worry, love. I just want to stay with you. I can't live apart from you. Not anymore."
I exhaled and my shoulders slumped. "But, it's not fair for you."
He chuckled. "Life isn't fair, Bella, and it's more unfair to you if you have to stay here for me. You love your job and I know you give yourself to it. I'll be damned if I take that away from you."
I sighed. "And you decided to tell me now? How long have the hospital offered the scholarship?" He grimaced sheepishly. "Do you remember when I...uh...avoiding you?"
I went rigid. I still didn't forget that time. Edward sensed my tense posture and held my shoulders.
"I was so confused. I always made you cry; I don't want to hold you here if you don't want to. I think if I were busy enough, the tension will disappear. But, I thought that was not a good idea either," He sighed and ran his hand through his hair.
"I gladly accept the hospital's offer. That was why I started to work in long hours, not only assisting Dr. Gerandy, but also Dr. Collins, the head of pediatrics."
He paused.
I sat there in silence. Somehow I felt bad for misjudging him, again.
"When they saw my capabilities, they decided to give me the scholarship. It was after you told me you were one of the candidates. I've talked to the director again and asked them for transferring my scholarship to New York or maybe England. They said it was not a big problem in New York, but they needed some time to transfer the scholarship to England."
Edward looked at me and smiled tenderly. "Even if I couldn't get the scholarship here, I could ask for the application in England and let them consider it." And then he looked at me with careful expression as if trying not to get me upset again.
"I was thinking a crazy plan," He said, half whispering. "Maybe...just maybe if we were married...the hospital will consider the transfer."
My eyes widened. Did he...did he...really thought about that? I heard lots of office's policy could be negotiated if the employee were married or has a family. But, to hear that from Edward himself made me considered my own option. If we were married and Edward still couldn't get the transfer to England, will I pass the opportunity and be a good wife? Just stay here and never leave?
I took a deep breath and my face turned sad. I didn't want to marry him so he could follow me to England or wherever it is. How could I make him do all of those things for me? I really didn't deserve him.
Edward furrowed his eyebrows and stroked my cheek. "Why are you sad?" "I'm sorry if I was such a burden to you."
"What?" Edward asked me in a shock.
I sighed sadly. "I just hate this situation. Can we just have a normal relationship with normal jobs under normal situations? Damn it!" That was right. Why didn't we just meet in a better situation? No Tyler, no random girls and especially no Tanya. We could live easily right now.
Edward shook his head and pulled me to him. "I guess we can never be a normal couple, Bella."
I snuggled to his embrace and muffled 'I guess we're not' in his T-shirt. Edward's phone vibrated from the coffee table. I
leaned away from him, thinking he might want to answer it, but he pulled me back.
"Leave it," He said in low voice. It was stern, but not harsh. Who could that be? Was it...Tanya? I shuddered mentally. "So, what do we do next?" I asked him. "I mean...about us?"
He sighed. "You definitely have a brighter way of the future and I still need to negotiate with the hospital; to see if I can transfer the scholarship to England."
I raised my head to look at him. "You serious?" He smirked. "Watch me."
I rolled my eyes and he laughed as hugging me back. "Bella?"
"Hmmm?"
"Where have you been this morning?"
I sighed. "Just spending my time in a cafe. I just need to get out from here."
I could feel he kissed the top of my head. "I'm sorry, love. But, please, believe me. It's only you that I love."
I gulped. "I don't mean to pry, but what did you both usually do back in Alaska?" I decided to ask him, rather than just guessing around. At least it will soothe some of my insecurities.
Edward went silent for a moment before answering, "Sometimes we take a walk in the park or read books together. Nothing special."
"When did you realize she likes you? And how did Rosalie know her?" I repressed the shudder when I said her name.
"I've realized it when I started my junior high. She always insisted to go to special occasions with me and somehow managed her dad to persuade my dad too. I've already been suspicious at that time, but I just went along for the sake of my dad. I knew they were good friends. But, Tanya's behavior was beginning to get me frustrated. She was acting like I was already her boyfriend. I confronted her; she wasn't honest with me at first. I confronted her again and then she told me she liked me. She assumed that I like her too and was disappointed when I told her I already love you."
He paused and then stroking my hair. I closed my eyes from the effect.
"She insisted to know about you, but I never gave her the details. I just told her that your name is Bella. I knew she wanted to become like you so I could love her," He chuckled darkly. "Even if she tried a hundred years, I'll never love her. As for Rosalie, apparently she once spent her holiday in Alaska and she met my dad when he had a meeting with Tanya's dad."
I frowned. "Let me guess. Tanya was there too."
He chuckled again and leaned his chin to my head. "That's correct, love. Rosalie always thinks her beauty is everything and she felt offended when her beauty didn't affect me. She never understands why I could love you."
I shivered. I must compete with Rosalie too? "Did she-"
"No, not that way," Edward interjected. "She just thought all men will go down to their knees with just seeing her beauty. I guess I'm the only exception."
I nodded slowly. "I see. And she was more confused when you rejected Tanya too, right?"
I could feel him shrug. "Somewhere like that. She began to tell Tanya about you, of course she didn't know you that well. She only said that Tanya is more beautiful than you and Tanya started to be more confident. But, again, it was nothing for me. I only love you, Bella."
I opened my eyes. "And what about now?" How could he still love me after those two women continued to attack him? I guessed that was one thing I could never understand from Edward.
"She still is hoping, of course. But, that's her problem." I sighed.
"See? It's easier if we can talk about this," He said to me. I could feel he was smiling. I blushed. "Sorry," I whispered.
He chuckled and kissed my hair. "No need to apologize, love. I just want to make you see how much you mean to me and I love you."
I nodded slightly. "Bella?"
"Hmmm?"
"What is your answer for my...proposal?"
I smiled slightly in his T-shirt. "You definitely have a brighter way to propose again," I quoted his words, "and I still need to settle our relationship, so it's on hold." As much as I love him, I knew we need to work out with our job issues first.
He scoffed. "You serious?" I smirked. "Watch me."
He laughed.
I arrived at my office in Monday morning half in a daze mode. Finally, Edward proposed to me, but I didn't give him my answer yet. I just thought we need to settle some things first. Things like Riley, my transfer and mostly Tanya. I was guessed right, though. She didn't give up. After our discussion, his phone was buzzed all night long, but he never bothers to look at it. I slept alone in my bed that night, asking him for some time with myself, although between my consciousness, I felt he lay down beside me in the middle of the night.
I have a meeting this morning, surprisingly with Riley in the meeting room. I didn't see him much after lunch; it was a surprise to see him again in the same room. We were sat down in the meeting room, all six of us. Mr. Banner, Mrs. Cope, Riley, other two editors and myself. I still couldn't focus with what I did since the proposal.
I was torn between two options. One, I knew I love him and God knew how much I wanted him and two, well, because I still need to see his option for his next degree. It was his dream after all. If Edward's hospital already made the decision, I'll make mine.
I was drawing random patterns in my notes, getting lost in my own thought when Mrs. Cope called my name. "Isabella."
I startled slightly and raised my head to see all the eyes in the room were staring intently at me. I blushed. "Would you like to share what are you thinking right now? You seemed busy."
I gulped. Mr. Banner stared at me curiously while Mrs. Cope smirked slightly. I frowned internally. I must think quickly before I could embarrass myself any further and thank heavens, an idea popped in my mind. I cleared my throat. "I-uh-just trying to figure out the concept for Mrs. McLane's book launching," I answered her.
That was true. I've been thinking about that all night when I tried to get some sleep. I guessed it was working after all for saving my dignity.
Mrs. Cope nodded thoughtfully. "We were just discussing that matter, Isabella, but we haven't found an idea yet. Do you have any suggestions?"
I managed to cover my embarrassment from being caught in my daydreaming by telling them about the concept I've been thinking for the book launching. Truthfully, it was the only productive thing I could do after the proposal. I could see Riley watching me from the corner of my eyes. His face showed he was calculating something.
My bosses released us to lunch after the long meeting. They both seemed satisfied with my idea, although it was the last minute idea. I walked slowly to my booth, lost again in my thought until I felt someone tapped my shoulder. I turned around slowly and saw Riley standing right next to me. I smiled reluctantly. I still didn't trust him.
"Are you hungry? We can have lunch together," He said.
I grimaced. I still didn't forget the last time I have lunch with him. "Um...I can go by myself." "Please, I promise I won't do anything stupid."
I chewed my bottom lip.
Riley still looking at me, half-pleading.
I nodded slowly. "Alright. Let me get my purse."
This time we were having lunch at the cafe where the two of us met. Edward texted me and told me to have my lunch and said that he loves me. I smiled slightly.
"Is that Edward?"
I raised my head to see Riley looking at me with his dark eyes. I cleared my throat. "Um...yes." I placed my BlackBerry back to my purse. I started to eat my food while Riley was playing with his fork.
"So, you already know you're going to England?" He asked.
I continued to chew my food and sipped my drink. Riley was looking at me intently. I smiled slightly. "Yes, Mr. Banner told me."
"And did you accept it?"
I shrugged. "Not yet. I need to settle some things with Edward first," I felt I need to mention Edward's name this time. Riley sighed and leaned back to his chair. "I'm sorry if I were rude to you earlier."
I raised my eyebrows. What happened to the old Riley? "Excuse me?"
He smiled grimly. "Mr. Banner knows my intention to transfer you to New York and he also knew it was not...a pure... job." I crossed my arms to my chest.
"He called my bosses in New York and told them about what I did and they were not happy about that," He paused. "I'll come back to New York after the book launching."
I nodded thoughtfully. Well, if he did leave, my problems will decrease. "I just want to tell you something, Bella."
I furrowed my eyebrows. "Tell me what?"
Riley smiled timidly. "Just be happy with Edward."
I chuckled. "What brought this on? You're not drunk, are you?"
He chuckled back. "I wish I am so I wouldn't feel embarrassed when I say this to you," He sighed. "I'm sorry for everything. I just want you to know that...I like you."
I blinked several times. "Excuse me?" I barely knew him, but he said he liked me. Why do I have to deal with the dreamy type of guy?
Riley played with his glass. "I heard so much about you from Edward when we were dorm mates. At that time, I didn't know that a kind of girl like you exists. Not all girls are selfless, kind and smart like you. I really want to know you, but how could that possible if Edward himself never met you since his high school graduation?"
He seemed lost of words.
I sipped my drink and trying to understand his explanation.
"I just acted like a happy college man, with girls and parties, but sometimes I never know what's good for me. I always envied Edward. He studied hard, determined to finish his medical degree so he could see you again and proves himself to you. And in one opportunity, I visited his room to borrow some notes and I saw a beautiful picture of a girl on his desk."
I raised my head to look at him.
Riley smiled weakly. "I asked who she was, although I could guess it was you. When he mentioned your name, I was like...I really want to meet you personally. Edward knew my reputation and he didn't like it at all. He punched me immediately and I was shocked. I guessed it was just instinct overtaking when I punched him back. The dorm's head separated us and brought us to the student counselor. We spent our detention cleaning the public toilet for two weeks."
Riley grimaced to the memory while I gaped at him. Wow, I didn't know that. "Huh...that was a good story," I mumbled.
He laughed lightly. "I just want to tell you that I'm not as bad as you think. It was a surprised when I met you here the first time. I was just testing the water when I asked you out, hoping Edward didn't find you yet. But, then I saw your ring," He gestured my promise ring and I instinctively look at my ring. The green stone sparkled under the cafe's light, a reminder of Edward's promise for always be mine. I shivered again.
"He gave it to you, right?"
I nodded and smiled slightly. "Yes."
Riley sighed. "I understand if he was upset when he saw me. I don't blame him. And again, it was selfish to go out with you. But, Edward knows me better and I think he knows you too. He knows you wouldn't fall for me." He chuckled nervously.
I smiled timidly. If only he knew what happened to our relationship after his fiasco at the bookstore.
"And the last thing I want to say is please, just consider the offer, Bella. This chance will not come twice. I know you must be thinking about Edward too, but I'm sure he already has his own plan to stay with you," He said again.
I chuckled lightly. "I know. Thank you, Riley." I just realized we both called our first name. I didn't know yet if Riley realized that.
"Um...Bella, can I ask you a question?" I shrugged. "Sure."
He sipped his drink before looked at me. "If... if you met me before you met Edward, will you like me?" My eyes widened. "Huh?"
He smiled again. "Will I ever have a chance with you if Edward was not in your way?"
I pondered his question for a moment. Actually, I questioned that to myself several times. Will I ever fall in love with someone besides Edward? Will I give myself a chance to open my heart? I've already dated several times and I didn't see a man who catches my heart yet. But, Edward was different. Despite of his stubbornness, he's also loving and he always knows how to comfort me. We did have differences, but honestly, it was a thing that makes our relationship grows stronger.
And then I knew my answer for his question. It was an epiphany for me. I knew now Edward was the one for me. I took a deep breath. "You will find someone who knows how to make you special, Riley."
That was my final answer and I think Riley knew what the meaning behind it was. Even though he came to my world before Edward or there was no Edward, there will never be a chance for both of us.
Riley nodded slowly and I smiled.
"Thank you for telling me your side of the story. I think you're not as bad as I thought," I concluded. He smirked. "So, you thought that I was bad?"
I grinned. "Mostly."
He laughed lightly and I was praying silently this was the last time I had lunch with Riley.
Um...she didn't say yes...yet ^^ But, they were beginning to open with each other.
For all my readers who followed me on twitter must knew I've finished chapter 19 I just sent it to my beta. Hopefully I can update soon.
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