Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.

A massive thank-you to my readers and reviewers.

Dear Voldemort,

I had the weirdest dream. I dreamt you were wearing a tutu and you were singing. It was funny, but also creepy.

Oh, could you tell me all your future diabolical plans so I can thwart them.

Harry Potter.

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Dear Potter,

I have never worn a tutu and I don't sing. Your imagination disturbs me.

No I will not tell you any of my plans. If you want to find them out do some investigating.

What is with people now days?.

Wanting everything handed to them outright. In my day you didn't ask your arch enemies for their plans, you had to work your butt off to find out.

The Dark Lord.

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Dear Voldemort,

Don't go on an old man rant with me, its Dumbledore's fault. He is the jerk in all of this.

That remains me I have to write to Dumbledore.

Harry, I have a paper cut, Potter.

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Dear Dumbledore,

I swear to Merlin if you don't write to me I will join Voldemort. Yes he killed my parents and has tried killing me several times, but at least he takes the time to write to me.

Why can't you be more like my buddy Voldemort.

The very annoyed and serious about joining Voldemort, Harry Potter.

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Dear Mister Potter,

Although I seriously doubt you will run off and join the man that murdered your parents. I will answer your ridiculous letter on the off chance that you're serious.

You're to stop writing to Voldemort, I mean it Harry.

Albus Dumbledore.

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Dear Dumbledore,

Go eat dragon dung, if I want to write to Voldemort I will. You're not the boss of me.

Harry, I think Dumbledore is a jerk, Potter.