I've had some time to think about you
And watch the sun sink like a stone
I've had some time to think about you
On the long ride home
~Long Road Home by Patty Griffith
Silence of the Sound — IX
"You know Maes really likes you."
Roy looked up from his lunch and saw Rebecca standing over him. "Really? Because last time I checked he hated me."
"That boy isn't capable of hating, it isn't in his blood," Rebecca said as she set her tray down across from Roy and sat. "He didn't like it when you upset his mother. You know how protective Riza is, she passed it on to him. But I think he's gotten over that. I saw you guys last night, you know, it looked like he was having a lot of fun with you. And I get the feeling you were having a lot of fun too." Roy felt his face redden a bit and quickly looked down at his food again. Rebecca laughed. "I guess good feelings are contagious, huh? He was having such a good time you couldn't help but think you were too."
"He's a good kid," Roy muttered, raising a hand and rubbing the back of his head. "Riza's doing a good job with him. Not that I'm surprised. She's good at everything she does."
"I wish she believed that," Rebecca sighed. "She's constantly worrying about how well she's doing with raising Maes. I think it bothers her that his father isn't around, she knows what it's like to be raised by a single parent."
"If you can tell what her father did raising her," Roy muttered. "And you know what, she turned out just fine — more than fine, really. If she can raise herself without a problem, she can raise Maes perfectly."
"Tell her that, not me. You know what she's like with her insecurities, she doesn't believe anything anyone tells her if it puts her in a positive light."
Roy frowned, picking up his coffee cup and taking a long, deep sip. "You know, she might feel a little better if she had someone around to help her raise Maes," Rebecca suggested slowly. "Someone like a father, I mean. I bet she wouldn't say no if you proposed to her."
Roy choked. He set his cup down roughly, spilling a bit of the hot liquid on the table, and coughed, trying to catch his breath. "Wh…wha…what?" He finally managed to gasp. Rebecca was smirking at him. "What the hell Catalina, have you lost your mind? Maybe you forgot, but you don't like me, remember? Why would you want me to even ask your best friend to marry me? If the thought had ever even crossed my mind, that is."
"Whether or not I like you isn't the point. Riza happens to like you quite a lot, though why I can't even begin to imagine. You know she's been a lot happier since you walked back into her life." Roy didn't know what to say to that. "Here," Rebecca reached into her back pocket, pulling out a small, rectangular photograph. "I've got something for you."
She held the photo out to Roy, who took it between his fingers, staring at it with a certain amount of enthrallment. It was a picture of Riza and Maes (the boy couldn't have been more than three years old) standing in front of their house. Maes was reaching up, grinning widely, his fingers wrapped tightly around Riza's wrist, her hands resting on his shoulders as she smiled softly. Roy's lips quirked into a smile as well as he stared at the picture.
"That was right after they moved into the house," Rebecca explained, smiling fondly at the memory. "Havoc and I made them take pictures in every room, we joined in for a few of them too, but I didn't think you'd want a picture with me and Havoc in it."
"Yeah, thanks for the consideration." Roy smiled despite the sarcasm. Rebecca sighed, shaking her head. God, this man was so in love. It wasn't fair that he was denying himself — and Riza — what could be a wonderful life, if only the two weren't so damn stubborn.
And Maes did deserve a father…
"Oh great," Riza groaned as she turned her head up to the sky, letting the rain pelt her face. There'd been no rain in the forecast, of course, but who could ever listen to the weathermen, right? "I knew I should have let Alphonse go instead," she sighed, raising her hands to rub her arms, which were currently bare of any kind of cover. She would never admit that she should have listened to Havoc when he told her to take the umbrella because the sky looked funky. Riza being Riza though, she hadn't been able to bring herself to listen to him.
Now she was regretting it.
"Absolutely wonderful," she sighed again, tightening her grip on the bag of sandwiches and continuing down the street. She wasn't too far away from the store, at least. Maybe she wouldn't get that wet…
That theory was completely disproved.
"You look like a drowned rat," Havoc commented as Riza squelched back into the store. She glared at him, tossing the sandwich bag onto his lap. "Maes go get your mother a towel from the back."
"'Kay." Maes hopped off the counter and ran in back.
"The sandwiches didn't get wet, did they?" Havoc asked as he opened the bag, peaking inside. Riza responded by slapping him upside the head.
"Here you go Mom," Maes chirped as he ran back out front, handing his mother a towel. Riza smiled, ruffling Maes' hair.
"Thanks bud." She raised the towel up to her head, rubbing her hair dry.
"Well it looks like the food survived at least…"
"Havoc do you ever not think with your stomach?" Riza demanded, moving the towel away from her face. Havoc just smirked, pulling his sandwich out of the bag and unwrapping it.
"What else would I think with? You're always claiming I don't have a mind, after all."
"And I maintain that fact," Riza mumbled as she ran the towel along her arms, wiping the water away and raising goose bumps. She shivered. Havoc chuckled.
"Take the umbrella that's in the back, go home, and change," he suggested as he took a bite of his sandwich. I'm sure we're not about to be overwhelmed by business or anything, we can live without you for a few more minutes."
"No, it's fine. I'll live, it's just a little bit of water."
"Riza you look like you were standing under your shower with all your clothes on."
"You should go change," Maes piped up. "You're gonna get sick."
"Thanks mini Havoc." Riza smiled softly as she patted her son's head.
"I'd take that as a compliment if I were you, buddy."
Along with the rain came the death of any chance they might've had for getting customers that afternoon. Riza leaned against the counter (every now and again suppressing a shiver that her wet clothes brought to life), staring at the door as if that would somehow bring a customer into the store. Havoc, from his spot on the other side of the counter, sighed, leaning forward and resting his elbows on the counter, putting his chin on his palms.
"So…Rebecca told me Roy was over your house last night."
"You and Rebecca gossip like old women." Riza rolled her eyes before redirecting her gaze towards the door that led to the back; the only thing separating Alphonse and Maes from what was surely going to be a personal conversation. "God, don't you guys have anything better to do with your time than talk about my life?"
"When you're the only thing that connects the two of us, no, we don't."
"Yeah, the fact that you're both madly in love with each other doesn't have anything to do with the fact that you're constantly talking, right?"
Havoc turned beet red, stuttering a few times as he tried to articulate his words. "What…no…I mean…we're not talking about me!" He finally managed to choke out. Riza smirked. She loved making him squirm.
"Maybe we should be, it sounds like you've got a far more interesting story going on in your life than I do."
"Don't change the subject," Havoc said, a bit harsher than necessary. "Maes seems to like Roy quite a bit, you know, maybe you should give it a chance. You never know what might happened."
"Maes has spent all of maybe ten hours with Roy. They barely know each other. How can you say Maes likes him?"
Before Riza could say anything, the bell over the door rang, and two blonde heads snapped around hopefully. Their faces fell almost instantly. "Gee, that's probably the worst reaction I've ever gotten when I walked into a room," Roy joked as he let the door close behind him.
"Are you going to buy anything?" Havoc asked. Holding on to a kind of false hope, Riza assumed.
"Sorry, I'm poor."
"Of course," Havoc sighed, running a hand through his hair. "At the rate we're going, we'll be shutting down the store by the end of the week you know. This bomb might as well have blown up our store for all the good we're doing here."
"Yeah, but you know we'd all miss your bright and smiling face."
Havoc glared at Riza, easily recognizing the not-so-hidden sarcasm in her voice. Before he could retaliate though, the door leading out back swung open. "Roy!" Maes cheered as his eyes landed on the raven-haired man. Riza wasn't sure what was more confusing; the fact that her heart seemed to soar as Maes bolted around the corner, running to Roy and wrapping his arms around his waist, or the fact that at the same time her heart seemed to sink at the sight. Havoc just gave her a look that clearly said, I told you so.
"Hey Maes." Roy was smiling as he knelt down so he was face to face with the blonde boy. "What've you been up to today?"
"Al has been helping me with alchemy."
"I don't know much about helping," Alphonse chuckled as he came out of the back as well. "He had a very good teacher helping him last night, I think, I mostly watched today."
"Oh yeah?" Roy redirected his gaze to Maes, who nodded eagerly.
"Yeah, yeah! Come see what we made!" With that, Maes grabbed Roy's hand, dragging him forward with the strength only a five year old could possess. Roy stumbled a bit as Maes pulled him along, laughing the entire time. Riza felt weirdly helpless as she watched Maes and Roy disappear out back.
"You scared?"
Riza redirected her gaze to Havoc, who was watching her with some amount of concern. "Of course not. What the hell would I possibly be scared of?"
Havoc didn't answer.
Riza wasn't quite sure how it had happened. Everything had been going normally, for the most part, everyone had been happy, more or less, everything had seemed generally okay.
And then Maes had uttered those fated words.
"Hey Roy, do you want to come over?"
Havoc had bitten his lip to keep from laughing as Riza had struggled to keep her face from falling. No matter how happy Maes seemed to be with spending time with Roy, she hadn't expected him to turn around and invite him over the house. Again. After the fiasco in the kitchen the night before, Riza hadn't really planned on inviting Roy over. Ever again.
But of course, it had been Maes who asked. He'd looked so eager. And Riza had absolutely no heart to say no to anything her son instead — especially when he turned on his bright-eyed puppy-dog look. The boy had a gift for manipulating people. Another annoying trait that Riza had passed on to the boy. She was beginning to regret just how much he was turning out like her.
And that was how Riza ended up in the kitchen, feeling ridiculously like a prisoner in her own house as she tried very hard to ignore the deep lilts of Roy's voice as he and Maes talked about something alchemy-related. Instead she tried to focus on the potatoes in front of her that were in need of peeling.
If only steak and potatoes was a more difficult meal to make. Riza could have really used a distraction at that moment.
Ring….Ring…
Riza didn't even bother moving as the phone rang. She knew Maes would get it, he loved answering the phone. And sure enough. "Hello?...Oh hi Aunt 'Becca! Guess what? Roy came over again, and he's helping me with my alchemy, and — oh, okay. Mom, Aunt 'Becca wants to talk to you!"
Riza sighed as she set the knife down and went into the living room, taking the phone from Maes. "Thanks bud," she mumbled as she raised the phone to her ear. "What's up Rebecca?"
"Roy's there again?" Rebecca demanded, ignoring Riza's question completely.
"It wasn't my idea," Riza argued quietly as she turned away from Maes and Roy, who were already engulfed once again in their studying. "Maes wanted him to come over, I couldn't say no…you know what he's like when he wants something."
"I'm not holding it against you," Rebecca laughed. "I think it's cute that Mustang and Maes are getting along so well. He'd make a good father, don't you think?"
"Rebecca he's a lot of thing, but I highly doubt father material is one of them," Riza said, rolling her eyes. "He's a playboy, remember, he likes to sleep around."
"That reputation of his has actually died quite a bit in the last five years. I think his last date was about nine months ago, actually. He just doesn't care for it anymore, I guess. Maybe he's pining over a certain blonde lieutenant…"
"I highly doubt Havoc's absence from his life is causing him to not date."
Rebecca made an impatient noise in the back of her throat. "You know what I mean Riza, there's no way in hell you're that stupid."
"You don't know what you're talking about Rebecca. Is this the only reason you wanted to call, because I have to finish supper—"
"Aren't you just the domestic housewife?" Rebecca chuckled. "Actually I finally managed to rope myself a day off for Thursday, I was wondering if you wanted me to take Maes off your hands, I thought I'd take him into the city, do a little shopping…"
"Would you?" Gratefulness rang loudly in Riza's tone. "That'd be great, are you sure you don't mind?"
"Of course, you know I love spending time with him. I'll pick him up about eight, we'll make a whole day out of it. Sound good?"
"Wonderful. Thank you so much Rebecca."
"Anytime. I have to go, I'll talk to you later, 'kay? Say hi to Mustang for me."
Riza growled as she slammed the phone down again. "Wow, last time I saw someone slam a phone down like that it was me hanging up on Hughes," Roy observed with a chuckle. "What'd Rebecca want?"
"To be a pain. As usual. Hey Maes, you wanna spend Thursday with your aunt?"
"Yeah!" Maes cheered, pumping his arms. He looked positively thrilled at the prospect. Riza smiled. As Rebecca would put it, at least one member of the male population didn't detest her. If only she'd open her eyes and see Havoc…
Roy chuckled as he and Maes once again returned to the book. Well Maes more than him. The boy really didn't need much help. And that left Roy with plenty of time for his thoughts, which were, ironically, focused on something the pain of Riza's life had said to him earlier.
"I bet she wouldn't say no if you proposed to her."
It wasn't that the idea of being able to call Riza his wife didn't appeal to him on so many levels. He'd long come to the conclusion that he was in love with Riza (and her sudden reappearance in his life had done nothing if not completely reinforce that fact. Absence didn't just make the heart grow fonder; it made it long more too). But obviously she didn't feel the same way, as demonstrated by the little boy sitting on the floor next to Roy. Whoever Maes' father was, there was no way Riza would have just jumped into bed with him unless she felt something very deep for him. And as Roy had come to the conclusion that there was no way Maes' conception had been anything but voluntary, that was the only option he was left with. Whether Maes' father was dead, or had walked out, Riza had been falling, if she hadn't already fallen, in love with him. There was no room left for Roy in her heart. As much as that hurt, it was a fact he was just going to have to accept. And damn, did it hurt.
But you love her.
If only she felt the same way. Roy sighed quietly, running a hand through his hair. He'd always known it was a long shot, him being with Riza. She was completely job-oriented, after all, and it would have been inappropriate in so many ways for the two of them to even try to be together, no matter how right it may have felt. She just never would have allowed it. Before she'd left the military, and Roy had been going back and forth about it in his mind, all he'd been able to think about was how fair it would be if they missed their chance because of their jobs.
Now Roy realized that he'd never had a chance to begin with. Somehow, that hurt even more, as if that were possible. It would have been one thing if Roy had just been able to harbor his false illusions for the rest of his life that maybe he and Riza could have been. That maybe someday, if she'd stuck around, he could have convinced her to give him a chance, to hell with the fact that they worked together, and they could have been together.
Roy was really going to miss the illusions.
Author's Note: Have I mentioned I hate college? /sigh/…I'm on Winter Break until January 19 and quite honestly, I already have this story written out, it's just a matter of finding time to edit. So I'd like to try and have the rest of the chapters up before then, there's only 15 in total — 14 and an epilogue. We'll see what happens though. Anyways review please? — Sam
