AN: Reference to allergy season episode ..
Disclaimer: nothing owned.
Early Tuesday morning: December 25, 2012
It was Christmas morning but it still felt like Christmas eve. Casey had a great couple of the days with the family. Her and Lizzie caught up on some boy issues. Liz kept insisting that Casey tell her her boy issues, but Casey kindly rejected the subject. Edwin showed Casey his brand new theories on life and the new experiments he'd drawn up. She even got to see Marti's overgrown stuffed animal collection, my that girls whole room is filled.
Casey couldn't really sleep. It was 1am. Everyone else was asleep. She couldn't stop thinking about Derek. Blah. Derek and Jamie. Made her sick. But over the past few days, her and Jamie actually had tolerable conversations. Jamie was going to the same school as Derek where she was studying literature. It caught Casey by surprise. They talked about their favorite books, authors, story genres, and even poems. Casey even told Jamie about one time she wrote a fake terribly written poem to get Derek to lose a bet with his dad. Surprisingly, they got along and this is what made Casey sick. Jamie was flawless, she wasn't like those idiotic girls Derek dated before... she was actually... decent.
She decided to sneak downstairs and make some cookies. Baking always helped her relax. By 2am she finished up and put them aside for when everyone woke up in the morning. She grabbed two cookies, a glass of milk, and made her way to the couch. She flipped on the TV to take her mind off of things. Nothing really on at 2 in the morning. She took a sip of her milk and...
"Couldn't sleep?" it scared the hell out of her that she spit out. He couldn't help but laugh, "Sorry."
"Dammit Derek. Don't do that" she said while wiping her mouth with her sleeve. "There's some cookies in the kitchen if you want" he grinned. Although it was dark, the moonlight showed through the curtains and she could make out that grin anywhere.
He came back from the kitchen with three cookies in his hand and one sticking out his mouth. The other hand holding milk. He sat on the couch next to her. She looked at him with disgust but in a funny way.
"Pig." she muttered.
He rolled his eyes as he took a big bite of his cookie, chewed it and smiled exposing the chocolate chips all over his teeth.
She playfully cringed as the sight. "Yeah. You just proved my point" she said sarcastically. He smirked at her. A smirk she missed all the years they weren't together. She took a deep breath. It didn't help that her heartbeat was still rapid around him, even while eating cookies.
"Whmwatmmchinm?" he mumbled with his mouth full. She supplied a 'what' look at him. "Sorry" he took a sip of his milk. "What are we watching?" he cleared up.
"Oh" she laughed. She looked back at the TV and flipped through the channels. "Nothing really on. Not even reality shows." He almost choked on his cookie from laughter. She laughed too for a good few minutes. Then awkward silence. "There's a replay of the Maples Leafs game." she offered.
He jerked his head to look at her with his eyebrow cocked. "Maples Leafs game?"
She rolled her eyes. "Just because I didn't watch it before doesn't mean I haven't grown to liking it now." She only liked it because of Derek. It was Derek's favorite team and it reminded her of him every time she did watch, which was hardly ever now.
He snorted. "Casey plus sports? No, just no."
She playfully kicked him on the leg. "Hey! I resent that."
"It's this Matt or Eric guy isn't it?" he said in a joking tone but deep down he wanted to know about this boyfriend of hers. If he was better than him, or if Casey loved him more than she loved him.
She was totally thrown off guard. "What?"she arched her eyebrows.
"You know.. you're boyfriend?" he asked
She totally forgot about the imaginary boyfriend. "Oh yeah. Right. What about them?" staring back at the TV, not even catching what she just said.
"Them?!" he almost spit out his milk.
"What? What are we even talking about?" she was totally lost. She remembered hearing two guy names. So of course being Casey McDonald, she just had to refer to them as "Them".
"You have two boyfriends?" he voiced seriously.
"No! I have one his name is.." she trailed off.. 'Dammit what was the name..' "Mark?"
"Casey what the hell?!" he screamed in a whisper. "There's 3 of them now?! Matt, Eric, and Mark?!"
She groaned frustrated. "Right Matt.." she muttered under her breath. Mentally slapping herself. She's in trouble now.
He didn't catch what she said but inside he's screaming to know what the hell is going on. "What was that?!"
She was so confused she didn't know how she let this happen. "Nothing" then she realized he's the one with the girlfriend. What's his damage then. "Why the hell do you even care?!"
"Well Case if you didn't recall what just happened, you just named 3 different guys. I mean dammit Casey! We're you trying to slut yourself up to piss me off?!" he was pissed but he saw the hurt flicker in her eyes as they grew wide at his words. He instantly regretted what he said.
She was angry now, "Is that what you think? This coming from the guy who had girlfriends days at a time!"
"Uh uh. No! That was before you, Casey!"
"I can't have this conversation with you." She got up off the couch.
He got up too and grabbed her elbow and turned her around to face him. She glared daggers at him. "Where you going Casey?" He laughed bitterly, "Running away again? Avoiding the real issues here? Go cry to your 3 boyfriends, you slut!" She pulled her arm away from his grip. Hurt written all over her face. He visibly wanted to take back everything he just said. He was pissed and it came out. He instantly softened, "Casey. I-im sorry. I didn't mean it. I was just angr--."
"So you blurted out what you really thought about me, right?!" a few tears ran down her face. He could see them running down from the glistening moonlight. He wanted to do nothing but reach over and wipe them away. But she hurried up the stairs and into her room.
He groaned and fell back on the couch, head in his hand. He wanted to smack himself for calling her that. He knew if he didn't fix this fast she'd be gone by the time he woke up. But he was scared 'cause he knew he said some really harsh things, and now he had to go fix this.
He reluctantly went upstairs and stood next to her door. Before he knocked, he put his ear to the door and he could hear her choking back sobs. Then and there he felt his heart wrench. He said he'd never hurt her and now that's exactly what happened. She was hurt by him. He took a deep breath and knocked on her door.
"Case?" he whispered.
"Please go away. Please just leave me alone." he heard her voice trembling from inside.
"No...I'm gonna come in okay?" before she could even reply he brought himself in her room. He sat down again with his back against the door. She was facing him, lying down on her bed. Her face red, puffy, and hurt as she was snuggled up in her comforter.
He sighed, "I guess Christmas is never really a good time for us, huh?" he let out a pity laugh for the both of them.
She returned the laugh while sniffling and wiping her eyes with her blanket. "Yeah."
He let out a deep breath. Where would he begin? "Casey, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to call you that. It's just I got pissed off when you mentioned three guys. I didn't think you had it in you."
"Well you have a girlfriend. You don't think that pisses me off?" she battled back.
"Casey, I thought you moved on okay? Edwin told me you had a boyfriend. I was hurt, what was I supposed to do?" he said in all honesty.
"I didn't move on." she admitted quietly. 'No need to keep this charade going any longer'
He sat up straighter. Confused. "What?"
"I never did move on. I made a boyfriend up. I know I'm pathetic, but I knew you would find out eventually and I thought you'd be hurt" he snorted, "I also used it as an excuse as to why I avoided everyone or even to help me move on from you." she said trying to even her short breaths. "Then I forgot I made him up when I got here that I kept forgetting the name I gave out, which was really stupid of me. Then you jumped to conclusions and assumed I was dating 3 different guys and I was a slut." she chuckled bitterly to herself.
He felt awful. She never did move on. He was still the last person she was with. If he knew this, he probably wouldn't have gone out with anyone else. What was he supposed to do now? "C-Casey--"
"I tried, Derek." she sniffled as she wiped her tears with her sleeve. "I tried. I tried to move on. Guys would ask me out at school and I just didn't feel like it." she lowered her voice almost inaudible now, "They weren't you." She covered her face with her blanket. She felt pathetic, embarrassed even. Derek moved on, why couldn't she?
Derek crawled over to sit next to her bed. He slowly pulled the blanket off her face. He gently wiped the tears off her face with his thumb. He offered her a faint smile. She noticed he started to get closer. "Derek...stop." She knew it wouldn't be right, no matter how much she just wanted his lips to touch hers again.
"Why?" he asked confused. Her admitting to him that everything was a lie, let him know she still felt something for him. The same something he always felt for her. But now she was rejecting him?
"Because you have a girlfriend." before he could say something back she interrupted him again, "She's great Derek." she offered a sincere smile. "She is really great. She's perfect... and she really seems to like you enough to put up with you." she stifled a laugh, "So please don't do something you'll regret later. I know I messed this up pretty badly for us. I lied about stupid fake boyfriends to make you angry and it got you someone you could actually be with." a tear rolled down again as he hurried to wipe it.
"Casey you didn't mess any--" she covered his mouth with her hand.
"Derek I told you everything I've been wanting to get out and I actually feel a lot better. So please go. Everyone will be awake in a few hours... it is Christmas after all right?" she faintly smiled.
He wiped away the last of her tears. He smiled that smile she missed so much. The smile that reassured her that everything would be okay. "We're good?"
"Yeah. We're great." she assured him. He gave her a kiss on the head and left her room and went to his and slept. She covered herself in her blanket as she thought, "Did my heart break enough this time?"
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Hey Derek,
I'm sorry I had to leave a note like this. Merry Derekus. I just thought I should leave before I did anything else stupid. Last night.. or well this morning, I felt a lot better. I didn't want to ruin it. I'm glad we talked. It was perfect way to end my visit. I guess I needed some sort of closure and I got it. Don't forget to tell the rest of the family Merry Christmas for me and that I'm sorry I had to leave so early. Tell Jamie too.
Please share the cookies, I mean it.
I miss you guys already. Bye ...Derek.
Casey
Derek read over the note and he knew she left feeling the opposite of what she wrote. The tear stains on the paper seem to agree with him."She found her closure. I guess I can't take it away from her. Bye Casey" he thought to himself. He threw it away. He'd let it go. He'd let her go.
Derek was right as Casey drove all the way home sad and bawling. She even had to pull over once to console herself. "It's over now. I let him go." Alone on Christmas once more, poor Casey.
