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A/N: yeah so here we go… hope I filled just about everything in.. and probably one more chapter… Read. Enjoy. Review

Love Never Fades

Chapter Nine – My Real Story

I sat down on the edge of the bed as they all passed around my journal. Luckily, thanks to the vampire assisted reading skills, they each only had to hold it a few minutes before passing it to the next person. It was on Emmett as I sat, and it usually took him longer to read. The room was now filled with a more understanding and sympathetic waves that Jasper was giving off. Emmett closed the journal lightly, as to not break it and went to pass it to Edward as Alice sat down next to me, and tried to comfort me by putting her arm around my shoulders.

"You need it?" Emmett asked solemnly, and Edward shook his head.

"I read that many years ago," said Edward as Emmett put the little leather book back into the bag that was now on the floor near the edge of the bed, "You want me to explain?"

I shook my head. Edward hadn't just said that, I had been thinking that I would rather he explain, but I knew that it would be best if I did it myself. The rest of the kids sat down in front of me as Alice started to massage my shoulders a little and Jasper tried to radiate some sort of calm toward me, but it didn't help much.

"No, I have it," I whispered as Edward nodded and joined his siblings on the floor.

They all looked up at me, or in Alice's case, over at me while I tried to figure out how to tell them. I figured the beginning would be a good place to start.

"So, I'm not going to insult all of you guys' intelligence, I think you figured it out from the letters what happened up until they ended," I said as Alice gasped as I decided how I was going to go about this, "What you may not have realized is that night that we were supposed to leave, I was changed. I was on my way to the harbor, and I was eighteen."

"Wait you're not-?" Rosalie said, I had let them all think I was older.

"Don't interrupt, Rose!" Alice said, and I swallowed before continuing.

"Well, no not exactly," I said, "Anyways, immediately, I tried to destroy myself, that part of the story was true. But, once I realized that I couldn't, I went back, and swallowed my need for blood to make sure Alexander couldn't lay a hand on Isabella. I went to their wedding, and I sat in the back. I held her when she cried late at night, knowing that she would just think she was dreaming, and I locked Alexander out of the house when he was stumbling home angry and drunk. I even went so far as to hit him with a plank of wood in an ally so he wouldn't be able to hurt her.

That went on for about a year. I never let either of them know I was there. Then, I went across the harbor for a hunting during one of the days, I figured it was safe for me to go, seeing as I wouldn't be gone all that long, and it was during the day. She went missing while I was gone, it was silent, and I couldn't hear it from across the harbor. No one could find her body, I couldn't find it. I searched for years, decades. I couldn't even find her body.

I drove myself delirious over it, I couldn't find her. I searched all of Europe for her. Maybe she had gotten away. Maybe she swam the channel and is in France. I scoured the entire known world at that point for her, and I ended up in Italy last. That was my last hope, Bella wouldn't have been able to get to America, Alexander had spent all the money I had given her to escape with me on alcohol.

That's where Aro found me, in Volterra, I had gone weak from not hunting for so long while I was searching. I had collapsed in an ally way near where he, Marcus and Caius are. Back then they were able to walk around, and Aro had been curious about me, and he recognized me for what I was.

I stood me up and in the touch, I didn't realize it at the time, but he learned everything. He asked me how old I was, and I knew he was older. I didn't want to seem too young, I knew that I hadn't aged from eighteen, but I was fearful. I answered him twenty three, and he accepted it, knowing just how much hurt and hardship I had been through. He gave me certain – liberties – that they probably wouldn't have let me do. They did a lot for me while I was there, they were very careful around me. They made me strong and let me take care of things my way.

I stayed there a while with them, then they weren't all that happy to let me leave, but they let me. I went to Medical school, which obviously back then much less involved than it is now. But, eventually I ended up in Chicago, treating Edward and his family. I couldn't not save him, his mother reminded me of my own mother, the night I was supposed to leave with Isabella. She told me to save her, and I don't know, it just clicked when Edward's mom asked me."

"Wait so why did you marry Esme?" Emmett asked, "If you were all broken up…"

"That would be my fault," said Edward, I objected mentally, it was my choice when it came down to it, but he clarified, "Or rather I was I big nudge for him to."

"Edward?" said Alice, seeing where he was going.

"Let me explain," said Edward taking a deep, unnecessary breath, "Carlisle was a mess, I knew that Esme had a huge crush on him, and I knew that Carlisle liked her. I did, regrettably know that he didn't love her. But I thought it would help. I pushed him into it. And it helped a tiny bit for a while, but not long. Not more than about a week. Jasper you really didn't notice that he's miserable all the time?"

Jasper just looked at him, and scowled.

"Thanks, Edward," I said, sarcastically.

"It's true," said Edward and Alice leaned over on my shoulder again, making a pouting face.

"Ok," said Alice, patting my shoulders, "Why don't we all leave Carlisle along now."

"No," said Edward for me, "Let's all go hunting or something. I'm sure that Carlisle doesn't exactly want to be alone right now."

"You would know," said Emmett as I stood up and went over to my dresser and put my bag on the top of it.

"Ok," said Alice cheerily, trying to make me feel better as she took Jasper's hand and they all filed, almost silently towards the door, that is except Rosalie.

"Dad, I had no clue," she said, and I nodded as I wrapped an arm around her shoulder.

"I know," I said as we went to follow the rest of them.

"I'm sorry I-"

"It's ok, Rose, honey," I said as we walked down the stairs and I let go of her as we reached the group.

"You all set?" said Emmett, and I did not fail to see the double meaning as Rosalie returned to his side, or rather the other way around.

"Yeah," I said as Jasper clapped me on the back.