"Professor," I called out nervously.
"You can come in, James," I heard Marlene's voice call through the thick door.
I opened the door to seem them both staring at me, Dumbledore and Marlene I mean. It was kind of freaky actually. They just continued to stare and I couldn't decide which one to stare back at, so my eyes just darted back and forth. Which looks really stupid trust me.
"This will be the first of many lessons you will have this year," Dumbledore said finally breaking the silence.
"Sir?" I asked, "May I ask you a question?"
The thought had been nagging me since he'd first talked to me.
"You already did, but go ahead."
"Why me?" I asked, "Out of all the people in the school why me? "
"Aaah," he said, with a customary twinkle of the eyes, "Modesty is an amazing quality to posses, and I'm sure that Ms. Evans would argue about the amount that you have, but it seems that you have more than she predicted."
He let out a little chuckle at the thought. Marlene looked on curiously, obviously not aware of Lily's outbursts.
"I'm not sure I understand, sir."
He looked at me from behind his half-moon spectacles, his cerulean eyes seeming to prompt something that I didn't quite understand.
"You've got amazing potential, James," a voice said, surprising me. It was not a voice that I had expected to hear, it was Marlene who spoke, "You have an amazing heart. Its people like that, which we need. You have to have both, if you know what I mean."
"But my friends have both potential and heart," I protested.
Marlene opened her mouth to answer, but Dumbledore cut her off.
"Perhaps," he said, "But now onto the business at hand. We are going to go over some of the more basic elements of dueling. Aim, stance, footwork and such. I understand that you may already know, but it is a good place to start. But first do you own combat robes?"
I looked down in embarrassment. I remembered clearly last summer when my father had offered to buy them for me. But I'd brushed him off looking eagerly at the new brooms coming out. Stupid, stupid, stupid.
Dumbledore's eyes were disappointed as he looked over me. His gaze made me flush with shame.
"Very well," he said in a tone that matched his eyes and I dropped my eyes in shame, "I can provide you with the robes. I will expect you to wear them to every lesson and to battle any time you can. I will give you permission to wear them in class."
He walked over to a cabinet and reached in and pulled out a pair of black robes. He handed them to me and my hand roved over the smooth fabric.
"It's completely fire proof, though some flamed fire will burn it, it can block some minor spells, and it's rather stain resistant."
"Thank you, sir."
I slid it into my bag and put my bag by the door. When I returned they were both standing up waiting for me.
"Sir?" I asked.
"Albus," he corrected, "If we are to work together, I insist that we call each other by our first names."
"Albus?" I asked instead.
"Yes, James."
"Do you have combat robes?"
I glanced at his vibrant purple robes, with little sparkling wands. His eyes twinkled merrily as he watched me eye his robes.
"It's all in appearances, James. I wear eccentric combat robes so people don't know what they are. I hand out lemon drops coated with a mild truth serum so that people won't lie to me. Don't you see James; people think that I'm a crazy old man, basking in the fame from Grindewald's defeat."
"But they still respect you," I said not seeing his point.
I was still kind of freaked out about the lemon drop thing, I mean I like those candies. I was going to have to buy my own stash. I think I saw some of those at Honeydukes…
His next words brought me out of my daydream.
"They respect me, because they feared Grindewald. Imagine if I was different from who I pretend I am. Imagine that I was imposing, imagine that I was commanding, imagine if I showed my power."
Strangely I could see what he meant. I could see the Dumbledore he described. I unconsciously shivered.
"It's so easy to be that person, but you see when I act like a crazy old man people tend to underestimate you and then you have the advantage. Of course you, as a child already have that advantage. The death eaters will have no idea what hit them."
He let out a little chuckle. I could see his point I suppose. I didn't have to like it. It sounded too much like lying. Putting on a little show, for everyone but yourself. But it made since, I could see why death eaters would sneer at the Dumbledore they saw and then it hit me.
"Isn't you-know-who scared of you though?" I asked him.
"Please call him by his name James. For fear of a name increases the fear of the thing itself."
"Voldemort then."
"Yes, Voldemort is afraid of me. He knows more about me then his servants do, though my act didn't ever really fool him."
I stared at him for awhile.
"Then how did you know who everyone really is?"
"Know that is the question isn't it?" he said, "You'll have to find that out yourself. Now onto the business at hand, we've delayed far too long."
"Show me your dueling stance, please," Marlene said calmly.
I jumped, I forgot she was there. She smiled pleasantly.
"Dueling stance?"
Oh, right. I positioned my legs and held my wand.
"Nope," she said.
I frowned.
"Your stance has to be sturdier than that. When a powerful spell hits you your shield will not take the entire blow, it'll knock you back some. And if you're in that wimpy stance you'll fall on your arse. Embarrassing way to lose, huh?"
She corrected my stance, throwing my hind leg back more than I was used to.
"Let's try it out then, shall we?" she asked in an annoying perky tone.
She threw a powerful stunner and I threw up a quick shield. It knocked me back and I stumbled. I didn't fall but I lost my balance. She threw another stunner at me and I blacked out.
"Enervarate."
Marlene's face hovered over me with a smile and she pulled me to my feet.
"You didn't hold your stance," she said with mock sadness, "Better keep in it or your find yourself on the floor again."
I groaned but repositioned myself. A red light headed towards me and I threw up my shield, I was proud to see I didn't stumble back one bit.
"Good," she called and another light came at me. I dodged it but lost my position and the next one she sent made me stumble backwards, she hit me with the next one and I was greeted by darkness.
This time she didn't help me up she just stared at me.
"You have to be quick, Potter," she sneered in a condensing tone, "Otherwise you'll get hit and it won't be with a stunner."
I readied myself and was ready when she sent the next volley of stunners. My wand was quick and I held my position. Whenever I faltered, Marlene would sneer at me and with quick jibes she got me to learn. After what seemed like an eternity, she called it to a stop.
"You'll start with aim tomorrow," Dumbledore said, "You'll be training with Marlene every night at seven."
I raised my eyes in disbelief.
"I have detention, sir," I said quietly.
He looked up at me.
"May I ask what for?"
"Sirius was having a hard time and he's rather good at voice impersonations..."
"I will talk to Minerva," he said looking at me behing the half moon spectacles.
"You'll meet with me every Saturday at 5 o'clock. I'll be teaching you Occlumency."
"Is it necessary Albus?"
He stared at me with his cerulean blue eyes, that seemed to see right into my very soul.
"Would I be teaching you it if it was not?"
I shook my head fervently.
"I thought so," he said, "You are dismissed."
Marlene and I excited the office together.
"Sorry about the jibes," she said as we walked down the hall, "I couldn't think of another way to make you work harder."
"It's alright," I said, "I needed it."
We were silent for awhile.
"Every night?" I asked her.
"I know, James," she said with a sigh, "But Albus was insistent. He's putting a lot of faith in you. Now that you're in the Order. You have to try your best."
I sighed.
"It's just that I don't know, I feel like I'm not ready for this."
"Good," she said after awhile, "it's never good to feel ready for power."
"Is that what this is?"
"Yes," she said, "Your powerful James."
We had reached the fat lady and I turned to enter it.
"Thank you," I said.
She smiled and I couldn't help but notice how pretty she looked when she smiled.
"Your welcome," she said, "Goodnight, James."
She pulled me into a hug and she felt good in my arms, in a way that was different from anything else. She disappeared and I was left standing outside the door for a minute.
"Pig snout," I said finally.
I entered the common room to find my friends staying waiting up for me. I was surprised to find Lily among them.
"Hey, where you been?" Sirius asked.
"We've been looking all over," Remus said sincerely.
"I was at my lesson," I said honestly.
"How'd it go?" Lily asked curiously.
"Tiring," I said leaning back on the couch, "Marlene's really hard on me."
"McKinnon?" Sirius asked, "Thought Dumbles was giving you the lessons."
"He is," I said quickly, "But Marlene is giving me more of the lessons, because she has more time."
Sirius nodded satisfied.
"How often do you have to go?" Remus asked leaning forward in his chair.
"Every night," I said.
"Every night," Sirius gasped.
"Even on….," Remus trailed off looking nervously at Lily.
But I understood what he meant. Full moons. I looked out the window noticing the almost full stage. Remus looked at me again, with a sense of urgency and for the first time I noticed the dark circles under his eyes.
"I'm sure she would make an exception," I said finally.
He let out a deep breath and leaned back in his chair.
"I'm going to bed," Sirius exclaimed with a yawn and headed over to the dormitory steps.
"Me, too," I said standing up.
"Did you finish you essay?" Remus asked.
I let out a groan and collapsed back on the coach pulling out a quill and a piece of paper.
"Stupid Slughorn," I muttered under my breath.
Lily giggled beside me. I looked up in surprise. Lily. I'd completely forgotten about her, which was surprising considering she was on my mind a lot. Did I really just think that? I realized I was staring and quickly looked down. Now what exactly were the main ingredients to Veriteserum? I let out a sigh and escaped into the never ending details of home work.
After an hour of work I slammed the book closed.
"I'm done," I announced.
Lily and Remus looked up in surprise.
"Alright," I huffed, "I'm doing the other half at breakfast."
Remus shrugged his shoulders, but Lily closed her books too.
"Yah, me too," she said, 'I'll just finish mine later."
Remus and I stared at her in shock.
"What?" she said defensively, "I'm tired."
I shrugged.
"'Night Remus, 'night Lily."
"Good night, James," Lily said as I disappeared up the stairs.
As I lay in bed to Sirius's gentle snoring. (He'll never admit he snores, but trust me after seven years I am thoroughly aware that he does.) What had happened between me and Marlene? It had been strange, definitely, in a good way I supposed. But then there was Lily. Who I was in love with. I loved her didn't I? Yes, I definitely did love her. But she didn't love me, so did that mean it was okay to maybe love Marlene, too. My heart whispered yes in a seductive tone, and I couldn't help but agree.
AN. Yes, there will be a little Marlene/James, don't kill me. It still will be mainly Lily/James so don't worry. But the course of true love never does run true. And the only clue I'm giving as too what happens is that there is a certain chapter you should reread in OotP, if anyone finds it PM me. :)
